Underwater
by Underwater Rose
Summary: This town holds both good and evil. This town holds both love and hate. This town holds both fire and ice. But no matter what, Underwater is where my love is, where my hate is, and where my home is. SasuNaru (no mermaids)
1. Chapter 1:Welcome

In this town, the black, grey and purple are colliding into the sky, as if it's all an endless painting, some kind of a macabre bomb. However, at a certain hour, and in just one particular place, you can see red, orange and yellow, even a pale pink, and sometimes, the sky looks as if it's on fire, but that's a rare case.

But you have to know when and where, 'cause if you missed the time or place, the next second when you'll look, it'll be so, just few know about it, the folks in this town are already used to these colors, alone: black, grey and purple.

After all, even the rays of the sun can't change these three colors; the weak sun under the rain clouds can't fight the undying shadow, the filth and the sin that eclipses the whole town.

The streets are way too narrow, filled with beggars or thieves, and in some way, with both. Not to mention, the murderers.

The first time when you'll look at a beggar, or just at a human, they'll seem to be harmless, asking quite nicely for a penny or greeting you, the second look it's really impossible, 'cause you'll be falling to the ground into a pool made of your own blood, you'll die while looking ahead, at nothing.

The streets, everybody's hands, and minds are stained with blood, petals of a red rose.

The blocks are high, grey and old. The nature is quite of a rare thing too, even if the whole town is on water, that is just another reason for having no foreign folks in it, few ever heard of this town, almost nobody knows of it, and those who known and came, have never returned home.

The name of this town?

To be sincere, since I came here, I've tried to find out this answer, but no one knows or cares about the previous name of this town before it became the way it is now.

And now, they call it:

**Underwater**

Chapter 1: Welcome

"Hey! Blondie!"

First day, first hours and first troubles. Since I arrived into this town, I saw nothing but the sky which looks heavy, frustrated with its grey clouds, the sky that's almost covered by other grey entities known as blocks.

I'm not one to complain, but I supposed that here it's also summer, like in my hometown. But it looks and feels like it's the end of the autumn.

I've put my luggage on the dark grey pavement, right next to my right leg, and I've started a fight with the zipper of my jacket, which stubbornly refuses to go up.

"I already want to go back..."

I mumbled to myself, while I've completely lost the battle with the zipper.

"What are you saying there, Blondie?"

A head on my shoulder and the same creepy voice that has called me Blondie, since I got off of the taxi. And if that wasn't enough, there's more, like his hand on my butt.

"Ehh...!" The only sound that I've made when I jumped three steps away from the stranger.

I ignored him for this entire time, hoping that he's calling someone else, but it looks like I left the sun along with my luck, way back into my hometown, since he's now right in front of me and talking to me.

"You're some weird hottie, y'know?"

I can almost see the expression on my own face, in this very moment, which is with an eyebrow up, my lips just a little bit parted, and my eyes wide open.

"What's wrong babe?" He asked me, and I just couldn't believe my ears, and neither my eyes.

This hippie guy, with the way too colored clothes and cigar between his lips, and that's obviously drugged, and anybody could've realized that by just having a glance at his bloodshot eyes, this guy, he flirts with me.

„Dude, the drugs have got to your brain and have burnt it, you're out of gray cells my friend, so I'm just gonna take my luggage and just so you know, my name's Naruto, what's your ..."

I said while miming my words, in a friendly way, and I could have been streets away by now, if my luggage wasn't beside his legs, at his right side, where I've been with some minutes ago.

My steps are slow and careful, precise and with my hand, a millimeter closer and closer to the handle of the luggage, moving my hand and talking, so that he won't realize that I'm bending it towards the handle...

"Not so fast, B-l-o-n-d-i-e."

He said it slowly, and I couldn't believe that I was so close, and now, I'm still with my hand stretched towards nothing but air, the luggage is now in his right hand.

And just when I was about to get up from my position, I felt pain going straight through my back to my chest and a bigger pain at the back of my neck.

It felt like hundreds of needles were stabbed into those certain places of my body, spreading excruciating pain and then spreading nothing, 'cause everything turned to one single color: black.

**AN:** Hey, this is my first story, so I'm kind of new to all this, I'd love to hear your opinion, I will be very grateful to read it, and I'll answer to any question, if you'd like me to continue, I'd also like to know that, so again, have a good day, and thank you.


	2. Chapter 2:Black

In the dead of the night, there was no sound. I woke up without any particular feeling, not even a headache. Even though I didn't remember at first, then it all become clear.

In the second when my last memory finished playing into my mind, I opened my eyes.

To stare into it, and to have it staring back at me.

Chapter 2: Black

"Who are you?"

I asked, but without knowing the reason why, my voice was low, I was whispering my question without even having him to tell me not to talk too loud. As if he already did without using words.

The room is covered in darkness, though there is just one window very far behind him, closed. Outside's already dark, as it is in this room, I can see the full moon glowing on the clear night sky.

In front of me, stays a man, with black hair which is as black as the darkness, its long hairs which are directed to the back, standing up, seem like they are endless, one with the darkness.

In contrast with its white skin, flawless and just putting in evidence his also black eyes. Those seem to have no end. His eyes scare me the most, having a hidden pleasure behind its structure which seems to have no crack, no entrance, but still…I can see his is not afraid but content, amused, and alive.

"Who are you!" I asked again, this time with my voice a bit louder, almost yelling, but his slim white hand has covered my lips without any hesitance.

It was then when I realized that I'm tied, my hands and my legs, staying on the ground with the incapacity to move. And again, then I saw the white blindfold which was in his other hand, which has probably been on my mouth or eyes, but he took it off.

I stared at him, wondering, curious, confused and suddenly, a bit scared:  
>'You're the one who has kidnaped me? But no…The hippie guy, he was the one, but then why won't you answer?'<p>

But I remained silent, despite my thoughts and many other confused feelings that attacked me, merciless.

With one hand still on my mouth, he brought up his other hand in which still has the white small blindfold, putting one slim finger on his thin lips, indicating that I have to be silent.

From where he holds it, I can see blood on the white surface, probably from a wound from his hand.

"Shh…" He whispered, and I just nodded my head, accepting his conditions, having no other option after all.

Just then, he took his hand off of my mouth, and off of his thin lips, he bowed slightly towards me on the ground, as he is on the same level as me to untie my hands and legs.

I could feel his breath on my neck and it feels as if he is embracing me, but I ignored the unfitting thought while just then, having at nothing or no one to stare at, but the dark place which surrounds us, just then, I realized where I am.

It isn't a house or a garage, but a huge room with dirty walls creating a square, with a few ropes here and there, dust and darkness. Though, the only light which lets me see anything is the moon which also offers me a limited view of the room.

Also, with the knowledge of the totally unknown place, another idea hit me like a bullet: 'I've been kidnaped'.

Somehow, the fact that I've been absolutely unconscious until now felt like bliss because I knew nothing about where, how or whom but more importantly, why.

"Get up."

He whispered into my ear and without knowing why, I obeyed him. With my hands still tied, but with my legs free. I stared at the stranger who was still embracing me, with his hands on the ties of my own hands.

As if deciding if he should take them off or not, he moved his head to the left and I turned my head to the right, looking at him, trying to make him change his mind to completely untie me.

"I won't run away." I whispered to him, my last resource to convince him, while he also whispered back at me:  
>"Make me trust you." He said, and I immediately opened my mouth to retort, but I didn't have the time at all.<p>

"Hey! You two! Don't move!"

The door was opened with great force, I even think it fell off, while a man stood at the entrance, and just then, at his feet, I could see another man, on the ground, probably wounded or dead.

'The blood from the blindfold wasn't his.' I thought quickly while I was pushed down. After two seconds, someone was shooting, the sound was at least disturbing, and however I couldn't shake the feeling that I've been one step away from my own death.

"So much for working in silence." I heard him mumbling, and as I still stood on the ground with my hands tied, I watched.

The armed man's been quickly sent flying by just a kick of his leg, hitting his head with one of the walls, his weapon now in the black haired man's possession, still, I had no idea how it arrived into his hands. And suddenly I didn't felt fear for the ones that had kidnapped me, but for the one who was trying to rescue me.

"Who the hell are you!" I asked him once again, this time waiting for an answer, begging it while I almost yelled at him, as he helped me to get up from the ground, unable to do that myself with my hands still tied very tight. He didn't answer, but I heard gunshots and footsteps again, near to where we were, but outside the room, almost at the door.

"We'll get to that part." He said quickly, as he pointed the gun to the door and with the other hand he is holding me by the ties of my hands, controlling me with them.

"Don't move." He said to me, firm and clear as he pushed me behind him. And so I stood wide eyed at every movement that was made, though, the first man to enter was the first one to get shoot instantly by his already pointed gun straight in the head of the man. He fell down, motionless.

I stared at the one who should be my savior, amazed by his braveness, power and skillfulness but in the same times, I was terrified by him, not knowing what to expect. I am watching a graceful killer, with cold eyes, as if he is an angel of darkness.

I couldn't speak, I couldn't even think. I didn't know what was happening, but as he stood there, concentrated with his gun still pointed at the door, I knew that he has all the answers that I needed, however, as if hearing my thoughts and sensing my feelings, after the third man falling dead in front of my very eyes, with the white blindfold that has been in his hands for this entire time, which was folded somehow to his own hand, he again tied it to my eyes again.

I didn't complain at all when he tied it around my head, his eyes never leaving mine when he did so, but also not betraying any feeling or thought, and after he finished, I saw only black.

Though, I could still hear the gunshots, the yelling, and the footsteps that drew closer and closer, though, he never moved from that place or moved me; one of his hands was on my shoulder as I stood there, so very close to him, a little behind him.

He was assuring me of his presence, of his safety and also of my captivity, but above them all, assuring me that he is alive.

After too many minutes, and after too many bullets, the blindfold was taken off. My eyes that have gotten too accustomed to the darkness that the blindfold has provided refused to meet the little bit lighter darkness, but even so, I lifted my eyelids up once again just to stare at expressionless black eyes which stared back at me.

"We have to run." He said, but he didn't wait for me to say anything, he just dragged me along with him, while I tried hard not to look on the floor, however, I felt something under my feet and I unconsciously stared down, like any normal person would do, but no normal person would've expected to see someone's bloody face under its foot.

"God!" I yelled just to have his hand on my face again, but this time, on my eyes.

"You have to get used to it." He whispered in my ear, firm and cold, even though I knew that he is right, I couldn't but feel completely outraged by his cruel personality.

"Who the hell can get used with this?" I asked and he just spoke into my ear again, with the same calmness as before.

"It's whether their dead body or yours." He said as if he has recited that line, as if saying good morning, and that's when I wondered why I felt like this isn't the first time he had said that, then I suddenly asked myself why, why I asked who he was rather than asked why he was saving me.

'We'll get to that part, he said.' I just decided to trust his words and direction, or at least for now, I'll trust him, let him do whatever he must do, without complaining, without looking and without feeling. And just like that, I nodded my head once more time, and he took his hand off of my eyes.

He dragged me after him while I tried to walk at his fast pace, and soon enough I realized that around us, there were many other rooms drowned in darkness, like the ones that we just got out of. With one door, and with just one window.

The ground has no grass, and the sky has no stars, while the moon is still up, wide eyed as if she is a witness to what happens tonight. Though, I am not so sure what have happened, not sure what will happen from now on, where I am or where I am going, and not sure of the reason why I am here from the first place.

'Not sure why I agreed to come to this city.'

I thought as we have crept stealthily. Not making any noise, behind the walls, or onto the ground. Walking along with the shadows, escaping from what? From whom? I don't know.

Soon enough we were closing the gate of a fence that seemed high and wide enough for me, therefore, I couldn't see where it started or where it ended. We ran to a car that seemed like it was waiting for our arrival. And as we departed from that domed place, I stood on one not too comfortable couch of the car, with my hands still tied.

The man driving was smoking and staring at us through the car's mirror, while he drove us, as I wished, to safety, has started to talk to him: "Any wounds?"

However, the black haired man already looked me up and down as if checking me, and just then I realized that he asked me, not him, still, when he finished inspecting, I stared into black eyes to have them staring back at me.

"No." He answered and somehow, I realized that I didn't know if I had any wounds, didn't' know anything at all.

But there were just two things I was sure of:

The first one: 'I don't know where I am, where I've been or where I am going.'

And the second one is: 'I will find out.'

To be continued…

AN: Hope you liked the second chapter of Underwater; it will be a long way to go.

But I have something important in this AN, I'm searching for a Beta, because I don't know if it's that obvious or not, English is not my first language and I want my readers to understand my story, not to be bothered by my mistakes.

So, I'll wait patiently for anyone who is willing to Beta, this story in principal, it's my only story and it's a very long way to go with it so I don't think I'll start another one anytime soon.

I'm looking for someone who is good with grammatical mistakes, spelling is just sometimes when probably I didn't see it, or with ideas if I get stuck or something, someone who knows how to put the characters personality in evidence.

It's a yaoi story, a bit of action here and there, also drama, but I really need for you to have good jokes, I am not so good at them, so if you have a good sense of humor or a black one, that's just a big plus.

So, basically, I'll wait patiently, thank you very much for reading.


	3. Chapter 3:Real nightmare

The car was surprisingly clean, though the scent of a cigarette and it's smoke seemed to be something ordinary to them, while the cloud which formed above our heads during the long ride to a destination, that is still unknown to me, seemed to be observed only by me.

My blue eyes are searching for any structure, building or human. I searched intensely with desperation while the car continued it's course, my eyes continued to look outside the closed window.

The night seems to pass with quick movements, and so, while it's almost morning, I realize, outside, there isn't even any grass, not to mention, a tree or a flower; there aren't any buildings, not even a house, and what scared me the most, there is not even one human, just sand and animals.

Chapter 3: Real nightmare

"So…" I started, but none of them even seemed to have heard me. Until after my gaze had begged for attention from any of them, one single glance, or one single sign that I was there for them, alive, existent, but no.

I was treated with ignorance and black cold piercing eyes when I seemed to have disturbed them, when the black haired man who is supposed to be my savior had finally looked at me, I felt as though I might have as well have died there, with all those men who have been killed by his skilled and deathly hands, and of course, it's bullets.

"What?" He asked as though I have no reason, and no permission to ask something, to speak, to breathe, or to exist.

"Where are we going?" I asked and concentrated on we, instead of I, because I was sure that the question wouldn't be answered if I would've seemed to be as selfish as to think that I am supposed to wonder where I am supposed to arrive after this car will finally stop.

"You'll see." The same old answer. And he seemed not to continue any further, instead, he continued to do what he did earlier. And that is to look outside his own window, lost within a sea of thoughts, as it seems we all are in this very crucial moment of silence and smoke.

But my thoughts are also many, but the difference between me and my two new companions which are complete strangers and seem not to even bother to tell me their names or any other even slightly personal information, I want to do something about it, I want to find out, and clarify my thoughts, though they seem not to care at all.

"Look, I think I deserve to know who you guys are or at least to know where you're taking me, and…so…"

My words were clear and almost yelled but it wasn't loud enough for them to pay any attention to me. But it only made me blink repeatedly times at their still unreachable expressions and actions, because the black haired one looks outside his window and the other one drives while smoking. Ignoring me completely.

'This is getting on my nerves.' I thought as I messaged my temples, a gesture created from pure frustration.

"Oh, come on!" I yelled but my scream died quickly and abrupt when the car suddenly made more sounds than me, while it seemed like the driver was struggling along with the car to stay in a straight line while I realized that I also hear gunshots.

"Unbelievable! Not again!" I said rather sarcastic, but really feeling like I had no disposition to be part of something that I know nothing about, and it seems that the ones who are supposed to save me, aren't much of a help at all, but worse than the ones who at least try to kill me, paying some attention to me.

"Down!" The black haired man yelled at me when I realized that something made the car go to its left and it almost capsized it on that part, and that was a bomb. And my thoughts were ridiculously confirmed within seconds, when the windows exploded beside and everywhere around us.

I had the instinct to raise my head up from the car's couch, feeling the need to see who, when and where. But the pale slim hand kept my head down while his own head was impossibly close to mine. At one centimeter, I could feel the black hair tickling my cheek.

"Do you hear me? Stay down." I heard him saying to me, dead serious. And I nodded my head immediately. Even though I felt my anger rising again right after I finished my gesture, while I realized that he talks to me just when he gives me orders, and even though I know what he said, he stood up on the car's couch and he already started to shoot at whatever and whoever shoots at us, and then, I also got up.

"I said, stay down!" He yelled just to be heard within the other powerful sounds like the car which was anything but stable and quiet, and the gunshots and not to mention, the screams of other men that were following us with their also, noisy cars.

"Why should I listen to you? You don't fucking listen to me at all! Unless you don't listen to me, I won't listen to you!"

We are incredibly close, but I still yelled, out of anger. I heard some unknown annoying sound, which was close to a cat mewing and also flying in the same time in our direction, and I realized a bit too late that I've heard that sound before our windows exploded.

"Down!" He yelled but in the same time, forced me to stay down again, with its hand on my head. I sat down with much self-control, while I tried to convince me that I can't die right now because of these bastards, but the sound hurt my ears even if this time, the bomb wasn't as near as it was last time when I am sure that the window protected our ears more than I can ever imagine.

"This is not the best moment to talk!" He said and he immediately retook his posture and started to shoot again.

I stood there, with my head in the couch, feeling a bit dumb, a bit confused but the most, feeling annoyed. I stood up again, on the same level as he is and I started to yell at him again, ignoring the fact that he never sent me a glance, like showing me that he hears me, but somehow, I didn't stop, confident, or just knowing that he hears me perfectly.

"Then when it is the best moment to talk? When we die? You won't answer me when everything is calm, and no one is shooting us, but you won't answer …" I wanted to continue, but someone grabbed my blouse so hard that I fell back in my previous place, to look at the brown haired man while he was looking at me for the first time.

Somehow, I didn't want to know how he can drive in this situation while he isn't looking at the road at all, but at me. But even so, I was curious, I was captivated by his intense gaze, and seriousness that I was ready to listen at whatever he might have wanted to tell me.

"Listen kid, I don't know who you are, and you don't know who we are, but it doesn't matter if we don't get to the safer area of this hell, so just sit down and shut the fuck up and let us do what we know best."

He said and without waiting for an answer, he took his hand off of me, and looked ahead at the road, once again driving, but this time, we were driving straight, the car seemed to have gained its direction and balance once again.

I stared at the back that was facing me and realized that he is right. While I looked up, but still not moving from the couch, up at the black haired man that is concentrated to where he's shooting, and I realized that the screams of the enemies are louder, and I also realized that we weren't the ones who are losing, so the problem has been me all along.

"Like I give a fuck!" I told myself even if I also said it in reality, so I stood up once again, and I don't know how I heard the sight of the brown haired man while the screams and the gunshots were still powerful and everywhere to be seen and heard, but this time, I didn't look at the black haired man, I didn't say one word, but I stared at where he was staring, at where he was shooting.

To see the whole desert spreading wide behind us, while the sky was colorful in the colors of the morning combined with the ones of the passing night, while the sun tries to gain its rightful place. All I see are men with guns in huge black cars and behind those who were still moving, cars on fire and corpses everywhere. But when I finished looking at the horrible painting of hell, I stared back at the black haired man with different eyes, somehow feeling mercy for him, or a feeling that was close to sadness.

I've felt so touched by everything, surprised and somehow, saddened that the words just came out of my mouth, they were too strong for me to keep inside of me, just to think them, so I heard myself saying:

"Who do you think you are to…kill?"

My words got lost within the dusty air, on the ground covered in sand that we've left behind us with each mile the brown haired man crossed, but even so, my ears seemed deaf to my own sentence but not to his ears, while for the first time it seemed like his black eyes were no longer covered with a foggy structure above it, with no life in them, but content that I am there, alive, and existent in front of him.

He looked at me, not through me, not behind me and not just at my body. But at me. I didn't know how to react but to also look at him, within his black endless eyes, searching for something that I don't know, or understand, with no direction, or precision.

We stood like this for more than I could estimate, it could've been seconds or minutes. But even so, he lowered his gun a little, while he stopped shooting and while I understood how deep my words cut into his soul, mind and existence.

The gun was no longer pointed at the men who attack us, whom shot at us, and who want us to drop dead and dance over our corpses. No. His gun was pointed at me. At my head. I parted my lips, ready to take one last breath of air, the air which is still filled with sand, with smoke, with dust and death.

But even if his gun was pointed at my head, even if the men never stopped shooting and even if I think I almost saw two huge gates opening ahead of us, I was never able to leave his gaze, never able to take my eyes off of his eyes. I was almost content and not even annoyed or bothered that those too black eyes might be the last eyes, the last structures, and the last light and darkness that my eyes will ever see. Before I die.

I somehow see the bigger picture, besides his eyes while I sense and half see the trigger being halfway pulled. But the car jumped a bit, made us lose our balance and also, as I finally looked around without even wanting, to see a sea of people, to see the huge gates closed behind us, and also, the black cars retreating from where they came.

People of all colors and nations, it seemed, arrived to our now, stopped car. They seemed friendly, and just now I realized the true meaning behind the brown haired words:

_"Listen kid, I don't know who you are, and you don't know who we are, but it doesn't matter if we don't get to the safer area of this hell, so just sit down and shut the fuck up and let us do what we know best."_

But while he jumped out of the black car, with the gun still in his hand, he turned around to look at me, while I still stood there, without any clue of where I am, without any clue about why I am still alive or why I was about to be shot by the one who was supposed to save me.

Without any clue why the ones who almost killed us, and surely, the ones who have kidnapped me or at least, they are part of the same organization or band, or whatever they are, have retreated when the huge gates closed behind us.

His eyes took one last glance of my own eyes as he left. Without any word, and without any explanation, his back facing me while he walked ahead, and everyone let him pass, many have bowed, or cheered, but no one, not even the kids had dared to touch him.

"Take my hand." A black woman said to me, while she was in the opposite direction of where I was looking, but even if the happy voices were loud, they weren't louder than the sounds that almost destroyed my tympanum just minutes ago.

The woman seemed kind and warm, so I took her hand, and I got out of the car, while she seemed to check me for any injury with her brown eyes. I immediately started to take a few steps towards the brown haired man who was talking to another man, but was ready or so it seemed, to leave me there, on my own.

"Hey! What is this? What…" I was so confused that I couldn't even expect myself to have any logic but even so, he raised his hand, to stop the other man talking, and he looked to me with cold eyes while he said:

"These people, they will tell you anything you want to know, if they take you to their house, let them; if they give you food; eat it, no matter what it is. If they put you to work, feel grateful and work hard, and you'll be rewarded. As I see it, this woman took a liking to you so you're hers now."

He said and his hand fell to his side, gracefully as he started to walk away, while I again, stared at his back, while the man who was talking to him then, started to talk again but he tried to gain his attention, making several movements around him, but the brown haired man was walking ahead, exactly like the black haired man, so much alike but going in two different directions.

I stood there, behind him, thinking of what I just heard. Of what knowledge I gained and wished I didn't. Because with my wide opened eyes, parted lips, and heart which is beating against my chest like a drum, I turned around to look at the woman who still looked at me with a warm smile on her face.

"You mean, I can't get out of here for the rest of my life?" That is all that I understood from what he said, from everything.

The smile of the woman has changed a little before she said one single word, somehow with pain in her smile, eyes and voice: "No. You would've been dead if you wouldn't have been saved so now, your life is His. You can either start living like a normal person, but just within His gates, or you can fight with His army. These are your choices."

I felt like my life wasn't mine anymore, felt like a bird in a cage, and I just couldn't shake the feeling that I wish I could go back, days ago, before I came here, but it seemed that the huge gates which I could see, they were smiling at me from behind the black woman's body.

"Who is He?" I asked with my voice barely audible, almost in a whisper.

"You are not allowed to say his name just randomly, but He is the one who brought us here to safety, who saved us all; and you too." She said in a simple voice, as if saying that tomorrow will be a sunny day. With admiration, respect and also, devotion was present all over her features and voice.

I barely could stand, when the scene with the black haired man walking away played in the back of my mind; and everybody who bowed at him as he moved. No one dared to speak to him or touch him. His movements were different, his clothes, his voice, like he doesn't belong in world that I tend to think he created, but I just realized what I've done, what I said to him, what he was just about to do with me.

"You mean…the black haired man…who was in the car with me and…"

"Yes." She said smiling timidly.

"You mean, the one with black eyes and…"

"Yes." She said again, even more enthusiastic and sure of herself.

'You mean the one who almost killed me?' I wanted to ask, but the question died in my throat before it could be verbalized.

"You can't be serious…" I said while I massaged my temples once again from pure frustration.

"I wouldn't joke about it." She said very serious, just underlying her point.

She grabbed my arm and started to walk towards another destination that I know nothing about. But for once in my life, I didn't care where I was going, I was so sure that I wouldn't know the place that I needed no more information about it, because it just made everything worse.

I knew that my whole mind and body wanted to go back. And I denied the fact that it looked like we are in the middle of the desert, denied that I almost got killed by the ones who kidnapped me and also the ones who used to want to save me. I didn't want to recognize what was happening, I was too afraid to acknowledge that maybe this is real. And in the back of my mind, though I agreed that maybe it is very childish, I wished that everything is just a dream, even if it was a dream it would surely be a horrible nightmare with too many details and emotions.

So I just started to talk, learning more, asking more about my new 'situation', or mostly, new life. Making fun of what is happening, ironizing it, and also denying that I want to know more if it's reality, but protecting me while trying to convince myself that this is a dream.

"So basically, I can choose to grow potatoes, or, I can choose to risk my life daily for Him?"

"Well, the earth is not very fertile here since there isn't much water on this part of the town, but yes to both of your questions. So, what do you choose …a…"

She struggled to remember my name, and just then I realized that I didn't say it, and also, I still don't know His name. More importantly, no one's name.

"Naruto, my name is Naruto."

I couldn't take my eyes off the kids that were playing in the endless sand around us, while I couldn't help but wonder from how long this place existed.

Suddenly, she stopped walking, and took one step behind, and stretched out one hand, expecting me to shake it. One big smile coming along with a kind and happy voice:

"My name is Sisay, pleased to meet you."

I stared at her smile and at her stretched hand, but I took it, and I also smiled while I politely answered:

"Pleased to meet you too, Sisay."

The name was odd for me, so I couldn't but try and ask about her nation, origin, anything, while I entered in a yard which didn't seem to be different from the other houses which are very close to hers.

"What a beautiful name…"

I stated and she immediately cut me off, seeming to know exactly what was coming.

"It's African, and it means 'a blessing'."

I almost could've sworn that I was just one of the thousand people to ask about her name and origin, because she even said the meaning after it, and somehow, the sadness just got deeper under my skin.

The door was covered with carpets and the smell was one of incense, the house is small, like the others but comfortable, filled with colorful pillows and rugs.

I sat down where she pointed out and she also gave me something that seemed to be tea. I accepted it while in my mind, the words of the brown haired man spoke louder than any gunshot sound I've heard today, or bomb:

_"These people, they will tell you anything you want to know, if they take you to their house, let them; if they give you food; eat it, no matter what it is. If they put you to work, feel grateful and work hard, and you'll be rewarded. As I see it, this woman took a liking to you so you're hers now."_

She sat down in front of me while I stared absently at the beautiful and sweet scented tea, but she seemed to know what was bothering me so this time, she offered with a friendly air which I never thought it could be this sizable and open. You just couldn't refuse her or insult her. She takes you in her house with a smile on her face; she gives you food and almost offers everything you want on a silver plate, but why?

"So, Naruto… if you have any question?"

She said, almost asking to be asked, and I couldn't help but look back into brown wise eyes. As she waited and I just couldn't form any question while I was filled with them, I was confused, I was a stranger to her and her to me, but it seemed that here, there are just 3 types of people:

The first ones were the enemies who obviously hated this town, hated these people who were normal and who seemed to be harmless.

The second ones were the ordinary people, like her, who try and live like they used to, and accept their limited conditions.

The third ones are 'His army' and 'Him' in general. They were different, the saviors, or mostly, they seemed to act like they are above everybody, protecting them.

So, thinking this while I was somehow a bit impressed that she still waits for me to say something after I sorted my thoughts, I've put the tea down beside me, I got up from my comfortable place while she also stood up, a bit alerted by my sudden behavior.

I've put my hands on her shoulders, and I stared into her eyes, attentive and serious and just then, one question arose above all of them, above all of my confusions, above my entire hesitation, so, even though I felt like I've gone crazy or something, I asked:

"Sisay, how do I become a part of His army?"

To be continued…

Hope everybody likes this chapter; things are moving, well, at some weird pace anyway.

I want to thank Sin69 for its review. So thank you very much. I updated because I felt very motivated and also tried hard to do a longer chapter. This one has 4.040 words, and chapter 2 had just 2.203.

Tell me your opinions on the chapter, sorry for any mistakes, and if you guys have any ideas, questions, or suggestions, I'm here to listen to all of them.

Until next time.


	4. Chapter 4:Looks can be deceiving

**From the previous chapter:**

I sat down where she pointed out and she also gave me something that seemed to be tea. I accepted it while in my mind; the words of the brown haired man spoke louder than any gunshot sound I've heard today, or bomb:

_"These people, they will tell you anything you want to know, if they take you to their house, let them; if they give you food; eat it, no matter what it is. If they put you to work, feel grateful and work hard, and you'll be rewarded. As I see it, this woman took a liking to you so you're hers now."_

She sat down in front of me while I stared absently at the beautifully and sweet scented tea, but she seemed to know what was bothering me so this time, she offered with a friendly air which I never thought it could be this sizable and open. You just couldn't refuse her or insult her. She takes you in her house with a smile on her face; she gives you food and almost offers everything you want on a silver plate, but why?

"So, Naruto… if you have any question?"

She said, almost asked to be asked, and I couldn't help but look back into brown wise eyes. As she waited and I just couldn't form any question while I was filled with them, I was confused, I was a stranger to her and her to me, but it seemed that here, there are just 3 types of people:

The first ones were the enemies who obviously hated this town, hated these people who were normal and who seemed to be harmless.

The second ones were the ordinary people, like her, who try and live like they used to, and accept their limited conditions.

The third ones are 'His army' and 'Him' in general. They were different, the saviors, or mostly, they seemed to act like they are above everybody, protecting them.

So, thinking this while I was somehow a bit impressed that she still waits for me to say something after I sorted my thoughts, I've put the tea down beside me, I got up from my comfortable place while she also stood up, a bit alerted by my sudden behavior.

I put my hands on her shoulders, and I stared into her eyes, attentive and serious and just then, one question arose above all of them, above all of my confusions, above my entire hesitation, so, even though I felt like I've gone crazy or something, I asked:

"Sisay, how do I become a part of His army?"

Warning: It's rated M for a reason and I mean it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of its characters. Although I'm pretty sure you all knew that...

**The actual (new) chapter:**

Chapter 4: Looks can be deceiving

The exotic big and green tree leaves spread wide before my blue eyes, which are not used to the intense colors, and my nose is the one which bothers me the most, because the smell isn't one to be met in every corner of any ordinary street.

The rays of the sun are getting weaker by the second as I try to move slowly, not to make any sound which can be heard by the unknown people before the leaves who surely aren't as silent as I am. I hide behind the leaves, big enough even though my mind says I should be in the middle of the desert, then that would mean that I found a mirage with a whole city in it and its citizens, not to mention a castle in the middle of a tropical forest. But I shouldn't have tried so hard not to be heard or noticed because a song filled the air with its notes and even if I wasn't yet beside them, I could hear them clear and loud.

Also, the sound of their carefree laughter was the one that calmed me instantly as I allowed myself to raise my head to look above and see.

The castle behind them seemed to be just another house at how carefree its guards seemed to be. Huge, muscled men stood before me on cheap wooden chairs, and even if their red cheeks indicated that I was right in my thoughts. They really were drunk but still huge, muscled and to top it, they were also with sharp swords attached to their belt. The song was really real, coming from a mandolin player.

I expected Him to have guards. My luck was that they were drunk and their only thoughts were directed to the fat big rotating pig above the fire. As they waited for it to be edible and after that, to be devoured; I didn't have any time to waste, I had to move while they were still drunk and hungry. Too hungry and too drunk to notice me.

'Calm down Naruto… maybe it's safer when it's already night, when they'll be already asleep. But what if the guards are replaced at midnight or something like that? If they'll catch me then I'll be the one rotating above the fire.' I shuddered at the thought, or maybe it was because of the cold wind dancing all around me while moving the leaves. Maybe the sound of their song and laughter reached me, but their fire sure didn't at all.

I really couldn't decide what to do so in the end, I ended up on the ground, hiding under the bushes and watching them eating the whole pig. My stomach growled as I stared wide eyed at one of the men who ate with a never-ending appetite right in front of me. As hours passed by, I was getting more paranoid; even thought that one of them would be able to hear the sounds of my empty stomach.

But nothing of what I imagined happened. Instead, I was incredulously surprised but not at how fast they ate a whole pig, or how much wine they drank, but at how deep they seemed to be sleeping. I felt as if even if I screamed I wouldn't be heard. Still, I didn't have enough trust in their snores to push my already unbelievable luck.

Therefore, with precision and silence, I advanced from behind the bushes, to arrive right beside the men who were sleeping on the ground. The fire was still lit so I could see very well even though now it was already night, and the moon took the place of the sun and as well, the stars took the place of the clouds.

I watched my every step, careful not to step on anything, the most important thing on which not to step on was in fact the face of the man whom I saw eating with a big appetite, I recognized him because of his red beard, and I really almost stepped on him but once again, I felt like this was my lucky night.

'Finally.' I thought as I looked back at the terminated men. One would think I was the one who fought them, because I was the only one who was now standing, but the smell proved otherwise.

'Well, now that I feel safe.' As safe as I could feel with the guards which are sleeping behind me, and the huge door and also me, while I apparently realize that I have no idea of how to get inside. I touched the door everywhere, and even the wall beside it, trying to find something to pull or to push.

'How the hell do I open this door?' I yelled inside my already tired mind as I stared at it with the arms crossed at my chest.

"Open Sesame." I said with my voice, and a bit too loud, to immediately realize that I forgot that I am not alone. As quick as being burnt, I looked behind me to check if I woke anyone up. As I looked at each one of them, I once again called myself paranoid, that maybe my voice wasn't louder than a whisper, and that in all this silence, where the only present sound are the burning flames of the fire and of some torches, it's normal to sound so loud in the middle of forest, and stillness.

'And to think that I wanted to become part of his army, if they all are like this then I prefer growing potatoes for the rest of my life.'

_"So, Naruto… if you have any question?"_

_She said, almost asked to be asked, and I couldn't help but look back into brown wise eyes. As she waited and I just couldn't form any question while I was filled with them, I was confused, I was a stranger to her and her to me, but it seemed that here, there are just 3 types of people:_

_The first ones were the enemies who obviously hated this town, hated these people who were normal and who seemed to be harmless._

_The second ones were the ordinary people, like her, who try and live like they used to, and accept their limited conditions._

_The third ones are 'His army' and 'Him' in general. They were different, the saviors, or mostly, they seemed to act like they are above everybody, protecting them._

_So, thinking this while I was somehow a bit impressed that she still waits for me to say something after I sorted my thoughts, I've put the tea down beside me, I got up from my comfortable place while she also stood up, a bit alerted by my sudden behavior._

_I put my hands on her shoulders, and I stared into her eyes, attentive and serious and just then, one question arose above all of them, above all of my confusions, above my entire hesitation, so, even though I felt like I've gone crazy or something, I asked:_

_"Sisay, how do I become a part of His army?"_

_-She fell back to where she was sitting, with my hands still on her shoulders, as if my touch and weight crashed down on her. While my hold was light and gentle. The expression of her face was hardened by the lone emotion of surprise and confusion, but mixed together._

_"You want to be part of His army?" She asked me as if something like this was unheard of._

_"Yes. Why are you so surprised? Please tell me what I need to do." I asked her, still, I never took my hands off of her shoulders, but she rose up from her place and walked a few steps away from me, as if getting away from my words, my ideas and touches._

_"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." She said when she looked once again at me with a changed expression on her face. Worried or scared, I could not tell._

_"You're sorry?" I asked because she didn't continue while I waited for an explanation. Even though I thought she won't respond, she responded with a hesitant voice._

_"I don't know what you need to do, because this has never happened before." She said while she put her tiny hands on her now sweating forehead and looked around like a child who lost its favorite toy. Her calm was completely lost._

_"Sisay, stop, and tell me what has never happened before?" I was already getting annoyed by her discomfort, not only because I knew I caused it, but because I couldn't understand the reason why. I once again took her by her shoulder so I got her to look me straight in the eyes and talk to me. To my relief or to my misfortune, she did:_

_"It never happened that an ordinary citizen, that the ones like us who live day by day under His protection to become part of His army!" She started calm, but she end up yelling the last two words. She was at the edge of desperation. But I suddenly understood while looking at the way she was actually looking at me. I was her responsibility and she didn't know what to do with me anymore._

_The one who takes the newcomer by hand and brings it home has the responsibility to show him how everything works. Shows you what options you have. But the truth is another. You have just one single choice because that's what everybody chose before, and in fact, all that you ever have to do with the army is watching them when they come from rescuing another 'new ordinary citizen' and your feelings of gratitude for them. But that's all._

I left her sleeping in her small house filled with different flower scents, without an answer to the same question she kept asking me: _"You're going to be like me, no? You're going to stay here and live a normal life like everybody else, aren't you?"_

I remained calm and quiet, she kept asking but I never responded. Because I couldn't promise, I couldn't lie to her.

'I already promised myself the exactly opposite of an ordinary life.'

I've let my thoughts to get lost into the dense night, and I've directed my eyes to the keyhole. And that's when I also changed the whole direction of my thoughts, but not in the past, but in the present and also future.

'I have the keyhole, so I must find the key. Duh!' I ironically reproached in my head to myself, while I walked slowly and gracefully away from the door, stepping just centimeters away from hands, legs and well, bodies. Searching on their clothes, belts and being attentive at every single pocket, and in the end, for my luck to reach its top, of which I didn't even knew it existed, I found a sheaf of keys attached to the belt of one of the men. It took me more than 10 minutes to take it off.

And when I finally did, I proudly walked, while being careful not to step on anything, probably an eye, to the huge castle door.

'Why does it feel like it took me an eternity to get inside?' I asked myself amused and still happy about my currently good situation, but when the first key of the sheaf didn't worked, the second one didn't either, my happy ending evaporated and an angry feeling took control of my every gesture.

'You must be kidding me!' I yelled once again in my mind, but just then the key went in without any problem, the door made a sound which was specific, announcing that it was unlocked.

Walking inside His castle for the first time in my life while spending enough time outside of it, I was mesmerized by the high stone columns, the clean armors which are shining even in the dark, the red and black velvet carpets, and also the paintings covering the walls of splendor in their simplicity and warmth, paintings by the most talented artists who are struggling between their love for demons and angels.

I had to shake my head for I stopped at the first step I made when I got inside, right at the door when I was attacked by the colors and the finesse of His castle. I closed the door behind me without making any loud noise, and the castle was now even darker than when the door was open, but it didn't scare me. What had made me stop in my tracks once again wasn't even the splendor of the castle but the simple thought that I didn't know where to go.

So, I started moving, without any certain direction, because staying in place never got me anywhere. Even if my steps gently echoed in the silence of the grand place, I continued walking until I found a door at my left. I tried endless times to get it open but with futile attempts.

'It's locked.' I thought and advanced to the next door which was: 'Also locked.' I thought with annoyance. After trying more than five doors, I ended up on trying to unlock one of the doors with my keys. After trying too many keys, one actually worked.

'God! It's open!' I declared triumphant in my head. To hear the old door's creaking while it opened and also disturbed some dust on the also old floor.

'God...it's empty.' I thought with a frown on my face. I unlocked the next door, and then another one to realize or mostly, convince myself that the whole castle is empty. Nobody living in it, and probably, the Throne room is so decorated and clean just for the visitors who probably are allowed just there because the rest of it is empty.

'For the visitors or for the dumb thieves.' I thought as I sighted completely defeated in the darkness and covered in dust from the dusty rooms in which I've previously been.

"Hey! What are you doing here?" A commanding voice yelled to me just a few steps away. For me to stare at one of the guards who in the end haven't fallen asleep as I thought, and so, I started to run for my life on the empty corridors of the castle in the dead of the night with the guard after me.

"I'm going to catch you even if this is the last thing I do!" I heard him yelling behind me and without even knowing why, I childishly responded, maybe because of the adrenaline: "No, you aren't because this is not the last thing I do, I fucking swear!" Though I don't know how convincing I look with my blond hair dancing on my head and running as if chased by a deathly disease.

But after running until I was out of breath, I realized that the only way out it's the door which brought me in but it was impossible to go there. I stared at one huge window and frowned for the tenth time in that hour.

'But it's also impossible to jump from here.' I told myself as I felt something on my arm, to stare at one of the huge guards. 'Damn it.'

"Who are you and what are you doing here? I asked!" He yelled though now I was one millimeter away from him. I still struggled for me to get loose from his grab but none of that happened, instead, he tightened it.

'He can't make me say anything, after all, what can he do now? Kill me?' I thought to assure myself that one guard shouldn't have scared me. He asked me the same question two more times and he already looked like he was about to lose his cool, when from the corner appeared two more huge guards.

"So there really was an intruder." Said one of them, and the one who caught me looked once again at me as he talked to me again: "He is an intruder and I will cut off his tongue because he looks like he's lost his voice." His words accused me, and for one second I was sure that he will do what he said he will. And the other two guards convinced me more than anything to talk.

"No…I can explain…" I said stuttering, trying to buy more time to think about a plausible story.

'I wanted to explore His territory? No…I want to find out more about how I should become a part of His army because I don't want to grow potatoes?' The truth suddenly didn't sound as a plausible story at all.

"Well?" One of them asked and I actually thought that I had to say something, suddenly asking myself in the same time if this is grave enough to be sent to His prison, or, is there any prison in this damned place?

"I thought this was His palace." I said with an honest voice and also underlining 'His' so they realize at who I was referring about. All their faces paled as if they saw a ghost, and then I thought that maybe they really don't believe me, even if this is really the truth of the entire situation.

"You wanted to infiltrate in His place?" The one who caught me asked with a grave tone, and just then while looking at the three of them; I understood what they didn't understand.

"A spy? The enemies sent a spy?" The taller one said and just then I started to move my head to left to right and tried to find my words to explain, but they weren't attentive at me anymore.

"This it's horrible news. He won't be happy at all." One of them said and another one started what seemed to be for them just another statement which needed to be spelled out loud: "But what we should do with him now that we caught him?"

"You got it wrong! I'm not a spy!" I almost yelled with a smile on my face, though panicked and amused at how they really seemed to believe I was capable of being a spy, when the face of the black haired man with His gun directed at me appeared before my eyes, his eyes as black as this damned night, while I was now feeling ridiculous. 'I never even touched a gun before.' But my thoughts and feelings didn't matter as they just sent me a glance after yelling, but the idea already took other forms in their head, there seemed to be no way to believe me now.

'Great Naruto! What would an impostor say in this situation, or a spy? Right… I already said it! I'm not a spy my ass! Has no effect, how did it turn out like this?' Thought quite desperate while looking at their still pale faces, and this time really struggling to get out of his hold, when they all seized this, they all jumped on me, trying to tie me up. One of them really tied my hands and one of them must've put something on my eyes because I couldn't see anything anymore.

'This can't be happening to me.' Was my last thought as I was dragged away, and carried by someone, more ironic is the fact that we all should be by the same side but now I am one of the enemies of which I know nothing about. But I couldn't say or see anything, couldn't even hear anything because it was still a silent night and they were done talking. Going somewhere I don't know, but absolutely sure I will arrive no matter if I want or not, if I see or not.

I've never been more scared in my entire life.

To be continued…

Good to be back. Hope everybody liked it.

Oh, and this chapter is beta'd by konakisen. Thank you!


	5. Chapter 5:Defeated

**AN:** This chapter is beta'd by konakisen. So...thank so much for your hard work!

To be clear: '….' These are thoughts. And when like: *_This_. Then it's the past.

Also, if there are any questions, I'm here to answer them.

Warning: It's rated M for a reason and I mean it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of its characters. Although I'm pretty sure you all knew that...

**The actual (new) chapter:**

The only sound that I could hear was the sound of footsteps, but still, I didn't know whom they belonged to. I couldn't see anything but darkness, my eyes being blindfolded so tight that it hurt. And the worse is that I couldn't move, not even an inch. All I knew is that I was carried by different people now and that I was taken somewhere. But where, I could not tell.

It was all darkness and an incredible dead silence, and I was left without any trace of luck. I've been cruelly tricked by fate. But as they said, the third try is with luck. Though, I never had any guarantee of that.

Chapter 5: Defeated

First, was the cold wind suggesting to me that I am outside, then the torturing silence and at last, doors, closing and opening, footsteps, and the wood which is squawking below; the arms that carried me were surely strong because I've never been put down, after the guards handed me to someone else because they talked even after they caught and blindfolded me. Not to mention, when they told someone that wasn't from their group that I was a spy, sent by their enemies to kill Him.

Second, was my final destination, or this is how I think about it, because after all, I've been put down on a chair. My hands have been released for a second to be tied once again to the chair, but the blindfold that it's above my eyes has never been untied. Therefore, I still don't know where I am, and what they will do to me but what I know is that it must've passed more than one hour, more than one day, more than three and I don't know when it will all end.

They gave me water, and I tend to think that the bliss comes just once per day. But with this, I count the days, even if I have no idea if it really is just once per day, but this sure is how it feels like. Haven't been feed at all, but I slept enough though I think my 'sleeping time' was more like 'fating time', after all, I never dreamed. I was sweating in the day when I finally heard someone talking not too far from me, I was already feeling ill and I couldn't tell if I was about to die from a disease that I know nothing about or it must be because of the lack of food.

But I was just getting sick of trying to know or find out from the pure silence, or trying to make myself get rid of my pride and ask food or anything at all, but I immediately thought I had no energy, no strength to talk and I, once again, felt like the knowing-all-person I don't really am and thought that they won't give me anything even if I ask so, I kept my pride even when I heard the door opening. Still, I was freaking out inside because they just gave me water.

'They never gave me water twice per day, or they want to feed me? Beat me up? Or kill me?' Paranoia was getting the best of me and my new thoughts were assaulting me mercilessly, but even so, nothing could've prepared me, and nothing from my head could've lead me to the relief and terror I felt when the blindfold from my eyes disappeared.

I blinked once, and then I blinked too many times until I closed my eyes out of free will. The relief flowed over my senses that there wasn't anybody in front of my with a knife and that I could see again. As I suspected, I was tied up really tightly to a chair and the room I was sitting in was completely empty. The only furniture was in fact my chair and I was once again paranoid but sure that my own fate wants to play with me. Behind me, at my left, it was a tiny window. I could tell because rays of a weak sun entered from there and played on the floor.

The terror overflowed me from inside out, when before me stood on another chair the reason of my imprisonment itself. Black piercing eyes stared intensely at my blue eyes, as if trying to read something in them with their intensity and nonetheless, they radiated calmness and intelligence. That, I could tell.

"So, you are the 'spy'." After underlining his every word within the silence of the room, with his voice as clear as water, echoing into the empty walls, a grin appeared on his lips, not some amused one or childish, not at all, but diabolic. 'If I thought that it's great that no one's here with a knife directed to me then I was dead wrong. He has no knife, but has a gun and He's pretty good with it.' My thoughts were as active as ever even if they went silent for a second when he also took the blindfold from my mouth off, but suddenly I really didn't felt like complaining, even if after days or maybe weeks of not talking, I suggested in my head, to myself, that I will talk to no end when I will be able, but I didn't say one word, not even a whisper.

_*"Who do you think you are to…kill?"_

_My words got lost within the dusty air, on the ground covered in sand that we've left behind us with each mile the brown haired man crossed, but even so, my ears seemed deaf to my own sentence but not to his ears, while for the first time it seemed like his black eyes were no longer covered with a foggy structure above it, with no life in them, but content that I am there, alive, and existent in front of him._

_He looked at me, not through me, not behind me and not just at my body. But at me. I didn't know how to react but to also look at him, within his black endless eyes, searching for something that I don't know, or understand, with no direction, or precision._

_We stood like this for more than I could estimate, it could've been seconds or minutes. But even so, he lowered his gun a little, while he stopped shooting and while I understood how deep my words cut into his soul, mind and existence._

_The gun was no longer pointed at the men who attack us, whom shot at us, and who want us to drop dead and dance over our corpses. No. His gun was pointed at me. At my head. I parted my lips, ready to take one last breath of air, the air which is still filled with sand, with smoke, with dust and death._

_But even if His gun was pointed at my head, even if the men never stopped shooting and even if I think I almost saw two huge gates opening ahead of us, I was never able to leave His gaze, never able to take my eyes off of His eyes. I was almost content and not even annoyed or bothered that those too black eyes might be the last eyes, the last structures, and the last light and darkness that my eyes will ever see. Before I die.*_

"You won't even plead innocent?" He asked me with a quiet yet ironic voice, with the grin still present on his face and with his black eyes still not moving one centimeter from mine. And I just couldn't move or look somewhere else; it was as if I was captivated by his eyes. I just had the most obvious feeling of Déjà vu from my entire life. 'It's exactly how we first met, just that this time, He's the one who keeps me captive, not the one who's rescuing me and He's worse than them!'

It's like He's been able to hear my thoughts for this entire time, because His grin was wider, almost a smile, and His eyes were warmer as if heated by some blue invisible flame from deep within, but His hands weren't heated by that flame, instead, they were cold as ice but gentle, as they reached my face and caressed my cheek out of nothing but pure instinct, or that's how it seemed when with those warms eyes and cold hands, He wanted to comfort me from the hell I've been dealing with and strongly as it seemed, even for me, I accepted it and wanted it with my entire being.

His thumbs now caress the lobe of my ear and then it slowly went down to my neck just to raise my chin up with the head of its thumbs, to force me to look into His eyes once more. 'He's happy and I really want to find out why.' I thought as He played with my chin, opening my mouth and closing it as He wanted but I didn't say one word because I felt that by my silence, I do plead to be innocent and from His eyes, I feel that He's by my side, that He already knows everything, that He knows the truth. 'Why…why do I feel so safe? I hate it.'

"I never thought that the trick with the fake castle would ever work on anybody, but I was wrong, it worked, on you." He said, really calm and almost like He said just four words, not a full sentence, just like He always does because He stopped many times within the sentence. And just after those words sank in, I felt fury rising from within my throat.

'He's fucking playing with me! Feeling happy that He can kill me now and that no one will say anything because I was 'supposed' to be sent by the enemies to kill Him!' Those thoughts were enough to make me turn my head from His touch and my body missed immediately His touch just because it's been so long since someone touched me or ever cared. The darkness and the silence drove me crazy.

"Your life, it's in my hands." He whispered, suddenly serious and with half an eye, I watched his grin fading considerably and then, disappearing completely. 'I know, so just shut up already. First, you don't talk, now, you say just bull shit!' My anger kept rising and I didn't even knew why until His hand was untying the ties from my legs and then, embracing me once again like the first time we met, with the same closeness, untying the ties from my hands.

He put Himself back on His chair and stared at me and I know he waits for me to move, to rise up, and to make use of my liberty, short as I feel that it might be, but I didn't. Instead, I looked anywhere else on the walls but not at Him, and somehow, I realized that my anger was in fact humiliation. The pure humiliations that I thought for one second that I wanted the touch of a man, no more and no less than this man who's closer to kill me with each time we meet.

"Naruto, look at me." I did, without knowing why, without even wanting, but the mention of my name, so calm and with His deep but clear voice made me look immediately straight at Him. 'Damn it.' I thought as His eyes were now returning to the coldness that they always had and what looked to be His normal look. But it was filled with ignorance and bitterness.

"How come you know my name when I never introduced myself, and not to mention, after I asked you way too many fucking times what your name is?" I asked Him, perfectly calm and with such a normal voice that I was surprised myself. First, that I could still talk and second that I seemed to be so calm when I felt like I was about to explode from an unknown feeling.

"I talked to that woman, Sisay, and she told me everything. " He explained shortly, and I just nodded. 'So that explains a lot.' I thought as I sighted and shuddered at the memory of the poor woman who had no idea of what to do with me, and I almost imagined her so panicked to see Him, himself, standing at her small perfumed door.

"So the reason why you untied me and the reason why you think I won't hurt you it's because you think I want to become part of Your army after this entire charade?" I asked Him with my eyes completely attentive at His every gesture and breath. 'I analyze Him just so I can trust His words, and see if it's a lie.'

"No." He responded once again too shortly. As if that now I finally talk, he doesn't need to talk anymore. "Then why?" I asked Him convinced that I was right. "One day, I will tell you." He said as he got up from His seat.

'One day?' I thought suddenly sad but revolted in the same time in my head, confused about the mosaic of my feelings, so confused and so sure of everything in the same time. 'So sure that everything is wrong.'

"No, I want you to explain it now, right now, everything." I blurted out, calm while still staying on my chair as if I had the need to stay on a chair after so long but even so, His eyes were lit by an invisible flame once again, staring at mine which were content and suddenly, convinced of my words and wishes. "What will happen to me?" I asked, with a low voice, as if asking a secret but after all. 'He's the only one who knows, no?'

Thoughts after thoughts, endless and some of them, indecipherable filled my troubled and tired mind as he stared out the window in silence, but I never asked again, never made a sound or move just because I realize that this might be my last chance to find out something from Him, and really hoping, it's the truth, the whole truth. He parted his lips and that's the moment, even though I didn't realize it, I held my breath and waited patiently and silently for His words, which with the second great relief, came:

"I will keep you under my wing and you will indeed become part of my army." He said but He never looked away from the window and that's when I sighted and then inhaled a great amount of air, taking in His words and His posture within me, trying to understand but couldn't so instead I asked Him: "Why? Why would you do that? All that you know about me is that I was the one who didn't want your help for being rescued and now, that I am some spy from the enemies and still, you'll take me under your wing and also become part of your army?" I asked everything in one breath but He didn't seem to be surprised at all.

"I also have one question." He said calm and collected and turned to look at me, to really look at me. "I'm all ears." I said a bit aggravated that I seemed to have no effect on Him, and He just continues to do what he wants and ignores me when He wants. "After when you arrived in this place and learned about your situation and your options, why didn't you tried to return back home, and instead, try to find out how to become part of my army?"

'His longest sentence ever.' I thought but deep within I was content that the reason why He asked all this and why He answered me with a question is because He really wants to know this because He might be insecure about His own reasons. 'Funny.' I thought while a small smile painted my lips, right before I responded:

"I don't have a home. I don't have a place or a person to whom I can return."

I said plain and confident and He just nodded but then He also continued our conversation: "I was somehow sure of that." He said also too confident in His words and that's when I snapped. "How could you know that? From where and what could you possibly know about me?" I almost yelled but He just looked at me, as He stood. With His body positioned so He faced the window, His whole body was bathed in the rays of the sun, but it just made Him more appealing, while His head was positioned so He faced me, with His eyes connected to mine. As I stood from my chair, almost wanted to yell once again, but this time from the pain I felt from getting up so suddenly and after so long of not moving, resisting the urge to sit back down or fall to the floor.

"You'll find out one day." He responded and then backed down, but with just one step behind him. As my fist collided with his pale cheek, though I was almost sure that He would protect Himself and that I wouldn't be able to touch Him at all but He didn't. Instead, He just stood there with a barely bruised cheek and with enlightened eyes. "Why can't you just answer a question like some normal fucking person?" I screamed and I fell on the floor before Him in a sitting position, while breathing hard from all the adrenaline and the anger that flowed through my veins.

I looked up at Him from my position and met His eyes for the one hundred time, and felt a non-verbal communication between us happening though I just couldn't tell what we were talking about, what we were feeling, all I know, is what happened after what seemed to be the end of our conversation:

"Not yet." He said and left the room, left me standing on the cold floor, and never looked back.

To be continued…

AN 2: God only know what will happen after. Any suggestions are welcomed, questions, or even ramble, I like it. Thank you very much, and the next chapter will be out soon…I hope.


	6. Chapter 6:Appearances destroyed

My eyes were stinging, my legs felt weak, but inside, some unknown emotion took control of me. Guiding me through the blinding sun, while stepping on green grass covered with sweet dew, making it have a special luster which sadly, reminded me of snow.

Chapter 6: Appearances destroyed

"Move already!" He said, as if though it wasn't enough that after a long time, for that I am sure it was, the sun hasn't touched my blue irises, but the darkness embraced them with its arms with such passion that I'm really surprised that I still can see and that I'm not entirely blind. A bit confused by the light, a bit distracted by it, and not to mention, without any idea of where I'm going. The wind ruffling my blond hair; making it also get into my eyes, and annoying me even more.

After making me climb several big stone stairs to the real world, now. He's making me walk into the sun right after he removed my blindfold once again. After He left me on the floor, leaving me to look at the closed huge door, another man, whom I didn't know, and still don't know, came in and blindfolded me once again. But this time, I accepted it, knowing that I have no chance, no choice but mostly, after the fight we had, or mostly, I had, my will to move, to live or anything close to it, gone numb.

I don't know how many days passed after He left that room, after He left me. But His memory, which consisted of His voice, His posture, His actions and His incredibly horrible personality stood beside me on the empty chair in which He just stood when He came to what? Intimidate me? Control me? Inform me? Annoy me? Or I don't know…

What I know is that He came back, untied me again completely, and leading me on old huge stairs to the outside world in the burning sun, feeling somehow calm just because I know that it may be morning because of the dew. After so many days or weeks, or how much it's been, of not knowing anything, and not to mention the surprise I had when I realized that the only room that I was in was somehow, the only room in the outside world, outside, or so I think. The rest was underground and that really annoyed me to no end while I thought at the impressionable but empty castle which pulled the biggest prank on me, now to find out that it's all really underground, not even on the earth, it's even more humiliating than it was before.

"Slow down!" I yelled far from behind Him, and I really thought He wouldn't stop for the life of Him. But He did, looking behind Him, at me, who's panting from walking so fast, and being attacked from everywhere by all the sensations which feel like I've been in that room forever. 'I really don't want to know how the real prisoners from the real prisons feel, I don't' want to ever know or feel that.' I thought as I was hit by the wind, dancing with its unending grace, the sun warming my skin, as the touch of the most gentle lover and the tall grass tickling my body as I stood on it, exhausted.

"I'm not the one walking fast; you are the one who isn't walking at all." He said and I was a bit surprised by how personal the sentence seemed and how long because this time, He didn't stop after every word as if He said just four words.

"What can I say? You won't even let me get used to being outside for God's sake!" I yelled from my place, feeling as the air entered in short amounts, but in a fast speed. But they all went numb. The wind took a break from its dancing, arranging its dancing shoes. The sun closed one eye as if day dreaming and the grass seemed to have no importance as He walked towards me, my eyes opening wide with surprise, though I didn't even realize my reaction, and when He finally arrived, He grabbed my left arm and pulled me up, bringing me to my feet. I stood up, without complaining or feeling any pain from the sudden action but stood there confused and surprised because I really didn't expect Him to do that.

'It's too…ordinary.' I thought as I watched Him starting to walk ahead of me once again. Watching His lean back facing my blue eyes as He gracefully but efficiently made His way towards nowhere I knew. Without even realizing and really without even wanting, I started to walk after Him and this time without any interruption. Trying not to let myself feel more embarrassed when I noticed that He really isn't walking fast at all, but at quite a normal pace, I looked around us just when I saw His hand touching a branch from a tree, to see the whole forest before me.

'Not again…' I exasperatedly thought while I kept mumbling under my breath about how many forests this place has. But this time it wasn't some tropical forest like I experienced in the first forest but an ordinary one. Even though I could tell it was quite old and grand. The high tress, the long branches, the tall grass but no animals, at least, what surprised me at that thought and made me almost trip when I really convinced myself that yes, I'm right. 'There are no sounds from any animals. No birds or at least some insects. Nothing, it's too fucking quiet.' I refused to think further, but it proved that it wasn't hard at all not to think of anything because my mind went blank as I heard voices, voices from men.

"Who…?" I started asking, but He just sent me a glance of His eyes and immediately said as He continued walking ahead: "You'll see." His words, as simple, as encouraging and scary as they were announcing to me that we are almost there, the place where we were supposed to arrive from when we started walking, from when He finally got me out of that room. And I swear I would've cried right there and swore that I will be grateful for that for my entire life to Him, but He was also the reason I got there and the sentiment evaporated completely when I thought about the thoughts and beliefs, not to mention, like a lesson of life, from the ordinary citizens which believed that all you must feel for Him, is gratefulness.

Steps after steps, trees after trees, and voices after voices, but I never stopped walking, but watched His back which was ahead of me as He was also walking but suddenly, He stopped. Sure, He was about 10 steps or more ahead of me, but I couldn't stop the knot which formed in my throat. 'Cause I knew that the men saw Him, and that meant that they were there, because no one was talking anymore. My steps on the wet earth and on the grass, the only existent sound and maybe, the wind dancing with the tress as if they will get lonely if they are left without a partner. But the sun was quite weak because of so many tall trees or it was, until now; when I'm stepping right beside Him, into the light.

Just to see another pair of tall muscled men. But even though at the first glance, I really thought it was some joke, because they were exactly as the ones I met at the entrance of the fake castle; at the second glance, they were totally different. They were soldiers too, they were tall and muscled too, but their eyes were intelligent, vigilant, having a light in them burning with hope and respect for if I haven't known better, it was for Him, but what impressed me was the loyalty which seemed present at each one of them. They weren't standing because they felt obligated, no, it might've just seemed like that to me but they were standing up, attentive at His every move and breath because they wanted to know what He was about to say, they didn't say anything to me yet, didn't even mock me with one single angry or disgusted glance, they were accepting me already, because I was standing beside Him. Beside this man, whom I hate but also feel an inexplicable attraction for what He is. No. For what He really is underneath Him, underneath all those people who are grateful for Him. But even though I first thought that I refused to be the same as others, refusing to feel grateful, now, standing before men more powerful than me, I let myself realize that I just can't feel just grateful to Him, I just can't. I feel, and I want to continue to feel more. Maybe I feel what these men feel. Maybe.

"I'm glad you're all back safe." He said and they all seemed pleased by His words. Just for me to see that He really seems to be a good leader at how they seem to be on the surface. "This is Uzumaki Naruto, the new soldier." He said rising His hand to point out to me as they all nodded their heads as if they understood. But the dense atmosphere which was caused by nothing less by something unknown to me was blown away finally, 'cause it seemed that they were all concerned of something, not me or anyone present here, the silence was blown away by a man who came closer to Him and rested one hand on His shoulder and with twinkle eyes talked to Him: "We lost one." His voice was warm as if trying to console Him with it, but no. His entire being and I guess everybody was consoling Him now, seemed like they were really close to Him on a level I couldn't yet understand though I wanted to so bad.

His words sink in later within me, but when they did, it was like a drop of water had dropped within me with a grave echo. Just when one thought arose from the rest: 'Did he just say that someone died?' My eyes widened but the most, my ears which were way more attentive. But soon enough my attention was centered on one single person, the rest turned into trees, leaves and environment, my eyes were watching his eyes which were directed straight ahead at another man which never took his arm away from His shoulder, His breath was almost intelligible into the still dancing wind, just the slow rise on his chest which indicated that He's still breathing, His eyes didn't betray any emotion, the only motion which was visible, which has been visible minutes ago were His eyelids which lowered one millimeter at what I think it must be, His way of letting the news sink in.

I immediately compared Him with the man standing in front of Him. A man way bigger in waist and hands, while he was tall but slim, but I just couldn't say weaker, because it surprised me even in that delicate moment, I couldn't help but observe that even though the man before Him was huge, from His posture, from His eyes, from everything, I could tell that He was the leader and the bigger one the one who follows Him. Even the rest, some of them were even bigger, taller, more muscular, more in everything which concerned the body, but I still could tell the same thing. They were all His. But He didn't belong to any of them. That was the time when I was convinced and felt content enough to last for the rest of my life the fact that He was born to be a leader.

"I noticed." Those were His words. The silence spread wide around us, but it wasn't awkward or boring. No. But it wasn't because we were all attentive at Him. So attentive that I don't even know if they realize how much they seem to care about Him, not even one looks away, not even one has a glare that could defy Him, not to mention, that for a second I thought that the person who died might've been important to Him, therefore, they should stare at Him with mercy but there was none of that. It seemed impossible, for a normal person like me to understand the edge of their admiration, compassion and loyalty. I felt dirty for how impure I was towards Him, and not to mention, thinking back, I also punched Him, with my words and with my fists, but He never seemed so proud of the feelings of those around Him, at least, not so much as to say something like: You know who I am? You know that everybody loves me? But there was nothing like that.

While waiting in silence for something that everybody was waiting for though if someone asked, I really could not tell what I was waiting for, in my analyze of the situation, in my thoughts and heart, I had to be honest. Though I'm black beside their ,oh, so white feelings for Him, I'm also standing behind Him, also watching Him just like they are but I don't fit in.

'Not with the citizens, not with the soldiers, so…what kind of feelings should I have for Him? '

He didn't sketch any regret or sorrow, just the content feeling of respect for the dead which I didn't know He had, but I couldn't have mistaken how He looked like, what He moved like. So I really thought I was right, but later, He proved that with His own two hands.

I'm now sitting in one of the cars which weren't very far away from the place we'd been, with also, some of His soldiers which are mourning and that I can tell though we stood a bit more after He left first, in that forest, just making introductions while I realized what nice people they really are. Their hearts seem even bigger than their bodies. Though the comparison, I thought about it and it made me laugh a little for myself. And even if I didn't know the person who died, I'm also mourning with them. At unison, feeling so close to them, like their respect flows in the air and it's as thick and solid as any other object existent on this planet. But once again, He also proved me that I will never stop being surprised or impressed by Him because I wasn't prepared for certain to see what my eyes are now seeing.

His pale, slim but strong hands moving with grace but also with accuracy with the shovel as He dig deeper and wider into the ground which looked like everything but absolutely not wet at all. It's still a dessert. That, I can realize. While I am once again on the dusty grounds, now with my feet and not in some car, in the middle of the dessert, where as I see, a fight or war took place. But even though there are many dead people around and cars still burning but far away, the smoke rising to the sky which looks as if nothing had happened on this earth, like nothing can touch it or affect it in any way. His tall body moved quickly, but never lost its grace, not even when He stopped, didn't look at us, but kneeled on the dry sand of the dessert to close the eyes of a dead man. He carried the body with care and gentleness to his grave.

Everything was happening before my eyes and I just couldn't help but think back, way back, though I couldn't estimate the exact time of the memory. Distant, but alive. So alive that in contrast with what was happening it was more tangible, so real that it was almost present, if not, the actual present shocked me that much.

_*"Who do you think you are to…kill?"_

_My words got lost within the dusty air, on the ground covered in sand that we've left behind us with each mile the brown haired man crossed, but even so, my ears seemed deaf to my own sentence but not to his ears, while for the first time it seemed like his black eyes were no longer covered with a foggy structure above it, with no life in them, but content that I am there, alive, and existent in front of him."_

For the first time in my life I wanted to take my words back. For the first time in my life, I really regret what I had said. Still, I swallowed the new pain and emotion which made my palms sweaty and my eyes to lose their lights, but I also knew too well, that if I ever do that, it will be the end of me, for Him, to say that; for Him, though He deserves to know that I knew I was wrong, there is nothing to do about it now, but apologize in another way, without even with a slight connection to the two surely different events, but the words would hurt Him, humiliate Him, because I'm sure it would mean betrayal.

'I'm sure He thinks I'm strong because of everything I've showed Him every time I met Him. I'm sure He thinks I will never take my words back, no matter what. And I won't, but for once, I wish I never found out how wrong I was, never knew the truth, but now, there's no way back.' This thought was the only one which encouraged me enough to raise my head up from the ground and from the sadness which I inhaled and let spread for a second through my entire body.

To look once again at Him, as he carefully places the body inside the hole, then stands and closes His eyes, as they all do, praying for the lost soul. The only one who didn't close His eyes, and didn't pray was in fact me, staring at Him, a bit far, but still in front of me. Staring at all of Him and talking with Him. With my entire being screaming out to Him, non-verbal communicating, and trying to reach Him and embrace Him with if possible, not my words, not my message but with the warmth that I feel and the regret altogether because the message was simple, the words were too little and too insignificant for the huge real feeling, screaming for Him to hear, begging to Him, crying out to Him from my entire being: I'm sorry.

And even though my feelings were pure, I never thought He would also open up His eyes to talk with mine.

To be continued….

Hope everybody likes this chapter, I liked writing it for a reason I don't really understand. Though, wait for it to come, I can't wait to really write some SasuNaru with real touching though I think everybody's waiting for that, but I want them to actually have a bond first, they just met! Hope you have patience; I really don't know when it comes to this but oh, well…soon, soon…

Really important: This chapter is beta'd by hardworking konakisen. Thank you.

The next chapter will be out soon 'cause now I really know where I'm going with this story, so stay tuned.


	7. Chapter 7:Thought I forgot

From the previous chapter:  
><em>For the first time in my life I wanted to take my words back. For the first time in my life, I really regret what I said. Still, I swallowed the new pain and emotion which made my palms sweaty and my eyes to lose their lights, but I also knew too well, that if I ever do that, it will be the end of me, for Him, to say that; for Him, though He deserves to know that I knew I was wrong, there is nothing to do about it now, but apologize in another way, without even with a slight connection to the two surely different events, but the words would hurt Him, humiliate Him, because I'm sure it would mean betrayal.<em>

_'I'm sure He thinks I'm strong because of everything I've showed Him every time I met Him. I'm sure He thinks I will never take my words back, no matter what. And I won't, but for once, I wish I never found out how wrong I was, never knew the truth, but now, there's no way back.' This thought was the only one which encouraged me enough to raise my head up from the ground and from the sadness which I inhaled and let spread for a second through my entire body._

_To look once again at Him, as he carefully places the body inside the hole, then stands and closes His eyes, as they all do, praying for the lost soul. The only one who didn't close His eyes, and didn't pray was in fact me, staring at Him, a bit far, but still in front of me. Staring at all of Him and talking with Him. With my entire being screaming out to Him, non-verbally communicating, and trying to reach Him and embrace Him with if possible, not my words, not my message but with the warmth that I feel and the regret altogether because the message was simple, the words were too little and too insignificant for the huge real feeling, screaming for Him to hear, begging Him, crying out to Him from my entire being: I'm sorry._

_And even though my feelings were pure, I never thought He would also open up His eyes to talk with mine._

**The actual chapter:**

I couldn't explain what I felt. I couldn't explain anything in that moment. I was just present. But not with my legs, my hands or not even with my brain, just with my eyes. Connected with His.

Chapter 7: Thought I forgot

Everything was still and quiet. Just the wind sang its song with the sand of the dessert. While the men all around us were with their head bowed and their eyes closed, praying for the dead which stood before me in the hole which became its grave, and after it, stood the only man besides myself which had his eyes wide open and His mind free of any thoughts, or at least, mine was free of prayers, not of thoughts. Because I wasn't sure if He felt my glace, heard my thoughts, felt my emotions, or finished praying. But no matter which one of them was, I couldn't ask now. Even if I was almost completely sure He wouldn't answer anyway.

His gaze wasn't forcing me to also bow my head like the rest or to do anything else. He just stared intensely at me, within my eyes while my thoughts still weren't done talking: 'I'm sorry for what I said. I'm so sorry. I get it now. You were protecting them. You really care about them. You…you...' But my words got lost, and evaporated as if they were blown away with the runaway sand. His gaze disfigured them, declaring them unworthy, declaring them unimportant and not fit for this moment, these feelings which seem wrong. Suddenly realizing that, my mind unlocked or mostly deciphered the sentence which held an important truth for me: 'These feelings aren't close to some freaking feelings of gratefulness ...aren't they? I mean, they are not my feelings! The feelings of the citizens, of the soldiers, they are not minding…so what is it, what is it that I keep going back and forth with? I'm grateful? Feeling admiration or respect? Both?' The thought bothered me because it had no end. Another part of my mind made me pay attention to another certain thought: 'But why is it so important what you're feeling for Him? Just follow Him if you want, and that's it!' But it didn't convince me.

Because outside, He continued to watch me and I just couldn't refuse His eyes which held some emotion to it, as if it was that blue flame itself burning, but burning just for me. A secret created and designed just for me. Though his eyes stripped me of any thought of gratefulness or anything close to it, I felt naked. He's pulling desperately at invisible curtains which are covering my eyes. And that's when I figured out what interested me so much about my own feelings: 'I'm different than them. First, wanting to be a part of His army without any concrete reason and now watching Him like that without any feeling of what they all have for them, they just don't fit me, I just copy them and make them my own, there's something more, but I just can't put my finger on it to realize what it is.' The thought made the corner of my lips rise a little just at the sudden conclusion: 'I guess I must wait.' But what really made me smile was that it wasn't bothering me at all, I was excited to wait.

After the funeral ended or whatever it really was, there were still some confusing feelings in my heart and mind, but I ignored it with my entire being when I realized that something else needed my attention. 'Cause after it, they all went to different places but I had nowhere to go, I just couldn't turn back to Sisay, it was out of question for me, and He seemed to have realized that because He nodded with His head in my direction, telling me to follow Him and this is exactly what I did. And this time I followed Him underground, willingly. Without anybody tying me up and forcing me to go in some place I can't even see. Therefore, knowing the reason why He smiled when I stepped on the cold stone once again. Going from where we also came back from. Walking on too many stairs to count, deeper and deeper, I wondered if His house or room, is the same like the one in which I was captive for too much to ever feel comfortable in it again.

But it seems that when it comes to Him, I'm just irremediably and completely wrong. I was just convinced of that when my feet reached old but tasteful wooden floor, and nicely decorated walls, not to mention the comfortable sensation the place radiated with its many couches and armchairs, paintings and bookcases, tables and pillows. Felt like home. But I could recognize the loneliness from it, having myself an empty house, or had. Just the one cup of coffee, just the one opened book, just the one disturbed or used place, just one. Never more.

"You can stay as long as you want." He said as a conclusion of my inspection which was anything, but not subtle while He also gave me a glass with red wine though I was so concentrated that I didn't even saw Him pouring it. But my inspection actually stopped at Him as he sat down on an armchair in the corner of the room, where I actually supposed that it's His favorite place 'cause a book on a small table stood beside it with also a huge white mug of coffee. However, it wasn't the underground comfort, but how simple everything was, or He was. The way he comfortably stood on the armchair and not to mention His sentence which was way too ordinary. As if talking to a friend or a lover…

'What am I thinking about? Of course everything's normal.' I convinced myself as I drank a bit too much from the wine. 'If He saves people and leads an army doesn't mean He has to live in a castle. He's just normal, so why am I so surprised? I would've been really pissed off it I saw a servant or a slave.' I thought and suddenly realized that I also nodded my head from left to right in negation, but all He did to my action was smirk a little, as if amused. Embarrassed, I couldn't but fight back a smirk which also appeared on my lips, even if mine was more of a little smile.

"What's so funny?" I asked Him in a casual voice and He accepted it with kind eyes as if He expected me to ask, and if I think better, I would've expected me to ask also, because each time He did something, every time something occurred, I asked Him something, declared I need to know and announced He just won't answer like any ordinary human to a normal question which was true. But I guess lately, it depends on the question. First time we met, He didn't even look at me properly, now He's even talking to me…smirking at me.

"I can only guess what you're thinking, but I'm certain I'm right." He said with the same clear but warm voice, and His eyes never left mine while they also still had kindness and some other feeling I couldn't tell what it was but it wasn't anything negative at all. Quite the opposite, He seemed to be in quite a good mood for someone that just came from a funeral. Not to mention that He's also drinking wine but still, His eyes won't leave mine though his actions are as graceful as if He's looking just at the glass, maneuvering it.

"Where's the castle? The servants? The weapons and the shackles?" He said in some ironic but still amused voice while His smirk never faded and the light from His eyes gleamed deeper and somehow, happier. While listening to Him, I nodded my head in affirmation, saying: 'Exactly.' From without my very core, realizing that yes, He maybe is able to read minds or number two, I really am that predicable when something bothers me as everybody says.

"No, for real, that was what I was thinking about. It's all so…" I said and moved my hands frantically around, trying to find the perfect word to describe the situation, my feelings and His comportment, posture and personality in one single word.

"Natural?" He resumed Himself to this one little word while I also accepted it and let it go, thinking that this is the best word which can describe this. But I never realized that during our conversation, I got closer to Him, and He leaned to be closer to me. He was still sitting comfortable on His armchair while I realized I took steps ahead and now I'm sitting on the floor which is covered with an also comfortable carpet, sitting right in front of His armchair and looking up to Him. He poured more wine from a bottle from the table beside the armchair, to Him and to me. We drank and occasionally made remarks about the men from the army, the one I know nothing about but the ones He's talking about with such warmth and content.

I realized we were very close when the palm of His hand which was resting on his mouth and I swear He wanted to cover His smirk with that gesture, was now caressing my cheek while His smirk was still present and in His eyes I saw a different emotion than the last time I've been so attentive at His black gleaming eyes. I moved my head a bit to left while after He took the empty glass of wine from my hand, to look at the also empty bottle.

I didn't move away when His hand returned on my cheek, but it also reminded me too well about when He first did this and that was in His own cell, some time ago, and in that time He was the same, amused of something. Then, I thought He was playing with me, now, His gesture is so sweet and simple, His eyes so gentle and kind, that I can't move at all. Seduced by His every move, every breath and though at that time I couldn't understand what was happening at all, maybe because of the wine, or maybe because I just felt happy, I just accepted everything He gave me without thinking further though it was quite obvious that He isn't doing this gesture to every man in the army. Though it would look hideous with some huge man which is really part of His army, while He's almost the same as them, though slimmer but still tall, I'm smaller than Him, thinner than Him. In front of them, I'm just some child. In front of Him, He's dominant but I don't mind, and I don't even know why.

"You know…I was wondering…" I started while He never took His eyes off of me and also didn't take His hand. "Why didn't you let us help you with digging the grave for that man? Or more like, why didn't any of them help you?" I asked while looking at the carpet and His eyes lost just a millimeter from their shine, and also His smirk lost just a centimeter from its good mood, still, He responded: " The leader must bury His soldiers, He must do everything Himself, that's the rule." He said with a cold voice, as if dictating or reading from a book right now, but that wasn't why some coldness appeared in His voice, it was the subject, the fact and the reality of it.

"Who wrote these rules?" I asked a bit revolted though I would've made some exasperated move but I didn't. Not to move His hand. But His smirk grew at this question and I could also feel in His voice as he answered me: "I did."

I smiled a bit embarrassed once again. 'Should've figured that out sooner.' I thought feeling a bit out of place once again but as if someone else was speaking through my mouth, I continued something anyone would know not to ask right after a funeral: "But who was He? Why did he die?" But though I really don't know with what power He didn't react to this, He continued to caress my cheek and to stare at me, though I can't tell exactly where. 'My vision's a bit blurry' I barely even heard this passing thought.

"He was a good soldier, but I guess He had bad luck, He was smart, but also liked to drink, more than the rest. I guess He went to the battle field drunk again." He said with a voice which I couldn't recognize as warm or cold. But just content that it was the truth, that He couldn't do nothing about it. That was when I faced His eyes. The picture which stuck into my mind arose once again to the surface. His eyes from when He stood after the grave looking at me, talking to me, and confusing me. But now, His eyes were different, no pain in them, a blind warm feeling radiating from Him but I just couldn't tell why and how.

"You seem… happy." I said though I knew it was a mistake to say something like that but it was the truth and I just couldn't stop myself from saying this, still, it didn't affect Him at all. Instead He leaned closer to me and I felt the need to move closer to Him, thinking that He wants to say something, and in some way He did, but without words. His lips were parted but I realized that He won't talk anymore and His eyes seemed even more content about something, He leaned so close to me that I could feel His breath on my neck. In that moment, I felt so seduced and so blind that I still thought that He wants to say something in my ear but the words never came. I actually believed it.

Though, instead, He grinned into my shoulder and His breath made me ticklish, but it wasn't ordinary, it excited me in some way it never happened to me before. And when He moved His head, His breath traveling from the nape of my neck, his hair tickling me in a way that made electricity rise up my spine, to my ear which was sensible and attentive, and then at the left of my lips, I got up as if burned. 'We breathed the same air.' I thought alarmed as the second when His breath collided with mine, so close, that our lips almost touched. I panicked.

He looked up at me, this time, I wasn't the one looking up at Him and His eyes weren't happy and warm anymore, but worried and blurry. That, I could tell. But the reality came too heavy on my shoulder and I felt my knees too weak. And my eyes were staring at Him, but I still couldn't understand why He did that, or truly, why He positioned Himself so close to me. But I knew, I wasn't stupid, but I didn't want to let myself realize. I refused to.

"It's been a long day and I'm tired, where I can sleep?" I asked suddenly, knowing that I needed to get away because the realization will sink in. 'If I look at Him again I will figure everything out, come on, say it!' I closed my eyes but I guess it was a bad move because I heard Him rising up from His place, and I knew He was standing in front of me and when His hand touched my cheek again, my eyes snapped open on their own, to look up at Him once again. 'He's way too tall.' I thought into the back of my mind, while I felt hopeless, thought that if He does something, I can't stop it. 'I hate it!' I declared as I moved one step back, refusing His touch.

"The door from your left." He said and I immediately looked there to actually see a door. I almost ran to it and I knew it was childish. But I couldn't say I knew what I wanted, couldn't say yes or no, and couldn't even realize why I was so scared. After all… nothing happened.

The door from my left proved to be indeed a room with a bed, nightstands, huge wooden closet but I had no clothes, and what I liked the most was the bathroom connected to it. I almost ran to it, almost hit my leg on the bed, but entered and turned the water on immediately. Stripped and soon enough, warm water embraced me when I sat down in the bathtub. But I couldn't relax. All I did was put my hands on my eyes and tried to refuse the memory of His touch which still bothered my cheek and my neck. "Why?" I asked the silence and the silence answered me.

The fresh memory played into my mind and all I did was to let myself finally realize: 'You saw it coming, didn't you? Always getting into this kind of trouble, but now you're in deep shit; He's the freaking King of this fucking place! You wanted to get close to Him? Now you have it!' I yelled to myself but it had no effect. What really bothered me was in fact how I reacted to the given situation. 'I didn't want to refuse His touch, didn't wanted to get up. And I must've done something to make Him do that, but what? I didn't even think about it. Well, I stared at Him a lot and talked to Him a lot…but just like …friends?'

"I don't have friends!" I yelled and splashed the water all around to look at the glitter of it, the luster, which reminded me of snow. So white and innocent but it's oh so easy to dirty, snow.

"Shut up!" I screamed as I covered my eyes once again and left my head to rest on the edge of the bathtub.

But the memory came closer to me, whispered into my ear until I saw everything, just a trace, but it was enough, just a photo but it made me get up and really run.

_*"You're tired? I'm sure you are. Let me help you get undressed Naruto." The man said as he slid his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him. Despite his actions, he indeed took off my shirt but while staying too close to him. I didn't say a word. I was too scared. But then he took off my pants and my boxers too and I felt a bit shy in my nudity, but I was also too scared to ask him to stop, because I wanted those clothes. But as stubborn as I always was since birth, I told him what bothered me:_

"_I'm cold." I complained and at this, he smiled a smile so mean that I couldn't but want to walk away and never look at him again. A smile I didn't like but had to trust. The man who saved me. I had to trust him even when he touched my nipples and then spread my legs while saying with the same smile on his face: 'I'll help you get warm.'_

_But I still had to trust him because I promised, promised I will. At least until winter ended. And I did, but I had never been the same again. Never trusted anybody again. Just because trusting someone weighed too heavy a price, all the pain and the humiliating pleasure, a scar that never faded away not even when the sun was strong again._

"Shut the hell up!" I yelled into the pillows as I embraced them harder until my chuckles turned white and my hands hurt from the force I applied. But so, the memory went quiet, and in the sudden silence, I've been able to fall asleep. Even though I still wish I never feel asleep that night. Even though, I heard the door from my room opening, I heard footsteps coming closer, but I was too drunk and too tired to care.

To be continued…

Done. Sorry for taking so long. And also,this chapter is beta'd by konakisen.

If you have any suggestions, questions or praising to say, don't hesitate.

The next chapter won't take so long (I hope) Thank you for reading.


	8. Chapter 8:Heartbeats

**AN:** Hello, I know it's been a long time since I posted anything. Been on vacation and sick and blah blah, no excuse for it. But NO, I'm not giving up on this story. Thought about it, to be sincere, but I'm just not a quitter. Read the story over and over, and realized how many mistakes I made that are just dumb, I'll fix them right after I give you this new chapter.

First, I want to thank from the bottom of my heart to 'One With No Name-OWNN' and 'TheDarkWinged' for their reviews, on the 'Important note.' Both of you made me really reconsider not stopping it, just for you two, I'll try even harder, hope you still read this after a long time. And I still write also for the rest of the readers, hope to hear your opinions too.

Sorry also for this huge AN, but I had to say that I also realized you guys are angry because I keep so many secrets in the story. Not that you don't understand what I write, but things like His name, and all the stuff which I'll reveal, though more stuff to come which won't leave you really wondering, but I'm hoping for the word: excited. But this time, it'll be more interesting stuff, not like names and general things. Though I must confess I never Ever intended to keep His name, maybe why Naruto was in there, yes; but not His name, I never intended to make it a secret, or at least not this big.

Anyway, what happened in the previous chapter for short (it was a long time, and I don't want anybody to forget where we're at): So, we first had the funeral, in which He and Naruto practically and theoretically stared at each other in the eyes, communicating nonverbally, but what Naruto tried to say didn't get to His eyes, because after all, he decided he didn't know what he wanted to say himself, he wasn't like the rest after all.

The funeral ended and they all walked in different directions, Naruto didn't had anywhere to go, so He took him underground, which wasn't a cell but His 'kind of' a house. They talked a bit, but more with their actions and eyes again, while drinking some weird red wine, which made both of them very dizzy and in the end, coming closer to each other, Naruto at least didn't wanted it to be that way, just woke up halfway when they were almost to kiss, but he got up as burned and asked for a bed, saying that he's tired. Got inside his 'new bedroom' and took a bath in which a memory showed up unexpectedly in which a man he should trust until the winter ended was, practically taking advance of Naruto, when he was just a child.

The memory played while he ended his bath, waking up a bit from it screaming just when he was in the bed, embracing or more like, fighting with the pillows and sheets. He fell asleep quickly after, though he thought he heard someone coming inside while he slept, but he felt too tired, and emotionally consumed to care anymore.

PS: I know I'm not good with summaries, even if it's my own story, I think you realized that by now, I love details and things I must find out, me, as a writer, and you, as readers. But still, hope you'll still like it and stick until the end, I promise I'll try my best for you not to regret the time you spent reading my story.

**The actual (new) chapter:  
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My eyelids feel too heavy to lift, as my body feels like it's drowning into the soft white mattress. Soon enough, I realize that I'm paralyzed. Something it's pushing against my ribs and something else holds me down by my back. I also feel too tired to even try moving, but when I hear a heart beating into my right ear, my eyes open on their own, just to discover that my head hurts too.

Chapter 8: Heartbeats

I look up to see pale skin, with delicate features; black hair with a bit of dark blue swimming within it, maybe because of the gentle thin lit candle burning just a bit further. Eyes closed, lips with a tint of the color of young peaches, are relaxed into a calm posture as if everything in the world's just alright. And somehow, I didn't get startled by any of this, but found myself mesmerized by a face at which I stare as if this is the first time my blue eyes glance upon it.

I hold my stare for moments that seem endless, but still marvelous in their simplicity and calmness. Created by the silence in which we drown, which is disturbed only by short breaths and steady heartbeats, so close to me that it's like they're my own. I realize my actions just when its head moves a bit to its left, nearer to mine. And as I finally convince myself to raise, a hand which isn't as heavy as I thought in my sleep, but still there, holding me gently by my waist, always brining me closer to its body, makes me wonder why we're sleeping in the same bed, so I forced myself to think about last night.

_*"You seem… happy." I said though I knew it was a mistake to say something like that, but it was the truth, and I just couldn't stop myself from saying this, still, it didn't affected Him at all. Instead He leaned closer to me and I felt the need to move closer to Him, thinking that He wants to say something, and in some way He did, but without words. His lips were parted, but I realized that He won't talk anymore and His eyes seemed even more content about something, He leaned so close to me that I could feel His breath on my neck. In that moment, I felt so seduced and so blind that I still thought that He wants to say something in my ear but the words never came. I actually believed it._

_Though, instead, He grinned into my shoulder and His breath made me ticklish, but it wasn't ordinary, it excited me in some way it never happened to me before. And when He moved His head, His breath traveling from the nape of my neck, his hair tickling me in a way that rose electricity on my spine, to my ear which was sensible and attentive, and then at the left of my lips, I got up as burned. 'We breathed the same air.' I thought alarmed as the second when His breath collided with mine, so close, that our lips almost touched. I panicked._

_He looked up at me, this time, I wasn't the one looking up at Him and His eyes weren't happy and warm anymore, but worried and blurry. That, I could tell. But the reality came too heavy on my shoulders, and I felt my knees go weak. And my eyes were staring at Him, but I still couldn't understand why He did that, or tried to do, why He positioned Himself so close to me. But I knew, I wasn't stupid, but I didn't want to let myself realize. I refused to._

_"It's been a long day and I'm tired, where I can sleep?" I suddenly asked, knowing that I needed to get away because the realization will sink in. 'If I look at Him again I will figure everything out, come on, say it!' I closed my eyes but I guess it was a bad move because I heard Him raising up from His place, and I knew He was standing in front of me and when His hand touched my cheek again, my eyes snapped open on their own, to look up at Him once again. 'He's way too tall.' I thought into the back of my mind, while I felt hopeless, thought that if He does something, I can't stop it. 'I hate it!' I declared as I moved one step back, refusing His touch._

_"The door from your left." He said and I immediately looked there to actually see a door. I almost ran to it and I knew it was childish. But I couldn't say I knew what I wanted, couldn't say yes or no, and couldn't even realize why I was so scared. After all… nothing happened.*_

The memory of last night sunk into a distinctive fog of which I immediately thought it was related to the wine glasses that I saw lying empty with the bottle on the short-legged table, while our clumsy empty hands were unconsciously and innocently touching occasionally in every blurry short flashback of recollection. Just in that moment I definitely decided that I don't intend to wake him up, but keep him sleeping as long as possible just so I can get some nonverbal responses.

I slipped through the crack of its left arm which was still sleepily embracing me, and I almost tripped when I tried to get off the bed, but succeeded nonetheless. But I, escaping the bed wasn't the major problem, but I, staying on my own two feet after drinking, which always leaves me with dizziness and migraines. I realized how forgetful I get of my own health when I have something to do in mind. However, I didn't stop but walked further while supporting myself by the walls.

I arrived at the door of the bedroom and the sound of the old door cracking sounded exactly like defeat to my ears. But surprisingly, I was still the only one awake from the room. Closing the door seemed to really risk my already three leaf clover luck, so I left the door ajar. Still, it didn't change the fact that I had no idea what I was searching for, or where I should be searching for something.

While looking for even the smallest clue around the half-lit room with candles almost running out of wax, I discovered just one fact about this room with my pulsing migraine: there are books everywhere, but the bookshelf it's not even close to one quarter empty. Yet, judging that the King wouldn't be stupid enough to let some really important or secret information open to everyone's view, I advanced directly to the bookshelf, forcing myself to believe that all the piles of books scattered around the room are useless.

I also took the longest candle I saw in the darkness, determined not to burn the place down with it even just by slightly touching every book spine I want to read, hesitantly putting it down, very close to the bookshelf. I rubbed my hands together, but not because I was ready to spy some normal bookshelf, but because it was getting colder and colder.

'Maybe I'm just imagining it because of the headache.' I assured myself with this frail thought, which did nothing but made me embrace myself with both arms, childishly trying to preserve any warmness I had left. Declaring that it won't help me at all, automatically convinced to just get it over with, so I can go back to the warm bed, yet the thought just rose a red flag in the back of my mind, announcing that I should consider myself crazy for thinking of the occupied bed as safe and warm, while the one who sleeps right now in it, is also the one who just some time ago left me to rot into some weird cell, and buried a man. But I also, automatically refused to even think or just lightly reflect on it.

My eyes wondered upon the old and new books, mostly old and dusty, rushing my eyes to get more used to the darkness. Soon enough, I comprehend the stupidity of my still sleeping brain just for ever trying to believe that I secretly, like some undiscovered genius, knew something about this place or this man. I sure didn't, because all of the books seemed to be written in some new language I never heard of. It wasn't Chinese, Latin or math, but it sure wasn't even something that seemed close to it, even the words were written differently, something I never saw before, and absolutely impossible for me to read.

'Of course it's old and dusty, no one knows this language anymore, so why do you still keep them?' I asked myself again, letting the cold air coming from nowhere to make me shiver. While my already brain screamed zeros because of all those signs and alien languages, pushing me to just go back to bed and give up. I almost did that when the candle I placed lit up because of some underground breeze, a book in a language I knew.

'The Uchiha clan?' The title sure didn't decipher the content of the huge book. If it wasn't so big, I was almost sure I wouldn't have seen it, but somehow, it stood out just because that I knew the letters. I pulled it out carefully, because right after touching it, the structure and material it was made of seemed even more fragile under my fingers. I sat myself on the freezing ground and after just seconds; I regretted my decision but stayed put, also opening the book on the ground right before my eyes, while I also put the candle in front of it.

The first pages talked about how old the clan is, but as I skipped many pages of that, because it seemed unrelated to the present, I arrived at the second huge chapter which talked about eyes, red eyes, endless drawings of their types and structures, just to think that this is the type of eyes that the people from the clan had, but it seemed crazy, for not the color scared me the most but the supernatural abilities which they represented.

The third chapter seemed to be the last one, but I was almost sure that this is just some extra detailed fairytale of some crazy writer when I arrived at it, to see pictures of people who died in the massacre of the whole clan in one night. I took pity of them in the instant I saw how many kids have died. Family pictures, ordinary ones with kids playing and wife's cooking, but none of them seemed the happiest human on earth; they had something doomed in their own specific glow.

The pictures were in white and black, as old as the book, or even older, but the eyes from the previous chapter showed that even their irises change, but their eyes seemed normal, a little icy, but nothing more. Under every picture were the names of the ones who were in the picture, and they all ended with Uchiha. Which soon started to annoy me because even if this was an 'Uchiha clan' book, it was like nobody else was ever allowed on their earth.

I was about to close it when I carelessly switched to the last page, prepared to close it, prepared to just to see another picture with another family, but I stopped at it because it was only half a picture. The other one has been torn apart intentionally and I was just sure of it because the rest of it was whole, no matter how old the book is, no page has been pulled out. The remaining half of the photo was of a boy with the name of Uchiha Sasuke. But if the name didn't say anything to me, the photo sure did. I couldn't stop myself from comparing the little smiling boy with the King which was sleeping just in the other room.

"It couldn't be…?" I started asking a question that had no end for I was paralyzed for the second time that night. I tried to convince myself that just because the little boy has black hair and seems to have black eyes like the rest of its clan which seemed to be stuck at dark colors, with a little brown now and then, didn't mean anything, but even the features seemed alike, and in that moment, I could've swore that this was the King when he was just a kid.

'So that is why nobody calls you by name?'

"What are you doing?" I heard a familiar voice talking, almost screaming just behind me, breathing onto my neck. I couldn't say that my heart didn't skipped a beat or two, because I was sure that he'll cut my neck right in that very moment, but instead, warm slim hands embraced me from behind with his head on my right shoulder looking at the book before both of us and closing it. After that, he really embraced me by my waist while still lying on my back with its chest and with its heartbeat beating calmly despite my own desperate heartbeats.

"Answer me." He demanded in a quiet voice, as he rose up from the floor with me still in his arms. We walked back in the room in that position, but I didn't complain at all, couldn't even whisper one single word. I didn't dare. He let go of me just when he closed the door and as if we talked all the way back, I climbed in the warm bed, on now, what seemed to be, my side of the bed, and covered myself with the blankets. He did the same, but on his side of the bed.

He rested his head and back on the wall and looked at me in the still burning candles light which threw random shadows in the darkness. But I continued to stare ahead at nothing at all, while I asked myself why I felt so scared but still calm in the same time.

"So, what did you found out?" He asked me in a calm tone, as if asking about the weather.

"You're from the Uchiha clan and your name is Uchiha Sasuke." I answered as if saying: it might rain tomorrow.

"You're happier now?" He inquired in the same inexpressive tone.

"I should be?" I requested back while I also looked at him, no longer afraid at all.

"It wasn't a secret." He said, and I stopped myself from looking away when His eyes penetrated mine.

"Then why nobody calls you by your name?" I concerned myself with this question one more time, curious but never left his black eyes.

"It's my first order as the King." He answered with no emotion whatsoever.

"You hate your name that much?" The question seemed insensible, but I couldn't stop myself, for I tried my hardest to get some feeling out of his words, facial expression or even his breathing.

"They're all dead, and so I should be." He said, without giving me any satisfaction.

"But you're not. So if nobody calls you by your name, then that means you're not alive?" I said, laughing in his face.

He went silent. Not even approving or disapproving my beliefs. So, just to take revenge, I continued to taunt him:

"Look… Sa-su-ke." I underlined with his name with my voice, smiling but waiting for an outburst. "I said your name, now you'll throw me out of your kingdom?" I stopped, really curious of what he'll say. But the answer never came.

"Why would anybody want to be dead? After all, aren't you lucky to be alive?" My words went on deaf ears.

Three knocks on the door just two seconds later and I was sure he decided to ignore me completely, now, to receive a valid reason to leave me in the dark.

"Come in." He demanded, with a changed voice. Colder, angrier and it was my entire fault.

To be continued…

AN2: Should be longer, I know, but then the whole place and time will change so it will mess the whole chapter up which happened in darkness and silence. Still, hope everybody liked it. One answer down. 10000 to go. (Kidding).

This time I'll keep updating, maybe every Friday, I'll try. Tell me your opinions, still no beta. But still, thank you for reading!


	9. Chapter 9:Bastard mode

**AN:** First, (though I know this might have nothing to do with you, readers), I want to thank Emerald-Eyed Soul for his marvelous review. I will continue this story until the very end. I promise.

So, second, I really updated on Friday, hope God helps me do that next week too, and next week after that, and… you know.

This chapter is beta'd by anazubg konakisen beta...really...so many chapters with so many...letters and all done in record time...amazing indeed...

Enough rambling, I know.

**From the previous chapter:**

_"They're all dead, and so I should be." He said, without giving me any satisfaction._

_"But you're not. So if nobody calls you by your name, then that means you're not alive?" I said, laughing in his face._

_He went silent. Not even approving or disapproving my beliefs. So, just to take revenge, I continued to taunt him:_

_"Look… Sa-su-ke." I underlined with his name with my voice, smiling but waiting for an outburst. "I said your name, now you'll throw me out of your kingdom?" I stopped, really curious of what he'll say. But the answer never came._

_"Why would anybody want to be dead? After all, aren't you lucky to be alive?" My words went on deaf ears._

_Three knocks on the door just two seconds later and I was sure he decided to ignore me completely, now, to receive a valid reason to leave me in the dark._

_"Come in." He demanded, with a changed voice. Colder, angrier and it was my entire fault._

Chapter 9: Bastard-mode

Someone walked in, but I was too preoccupied to stare at him with a glance that could've been mistaken for me, checking him out, but the truth wasn't even close to it. For the first time since I had met him, and then two minutes later, I almost got used to the fact that he's not sociable and not interested in another living being at all. But now, that it happens to be completely ignored once again, after tonight, which was absolutely out of the ordinary for him, and me, not to mention how incredibly close we got, too close, for no reason.

And after we slept in the same bed, too close to each other, again, without a reason; now, I get the same treatment. Even after finding out his name and where he came from.

'Still, I'm sure as hell he wasn't expecting mercy from me, but maybe I was just a little bit…inconsiderate?'

"Good morning, my King. We are all outside, and ready for your arrival." The man said, and just then, I looked his way, while he was bowing his head in front of us both. Or maybe just in front of Sasuke's, but just because we were in the same bed, I felt just for one second inferior and unfit in that bed. After all, the thought rose unconsciously from the back of my mind: 'Why am I in the same bed with him?'

"I'll come right away." Was his response, which seemed aristocratic in its high posture; maybe of his head, but also of his body. Looking down at his soldier, though yesterday, when I saw him staying and communicating with all of them, he seemed part of the group, a bit social, a bit…humanly. Now, all of that is gone. But it seemed I was the only one to think so because the soldier didn't give any sign of discomfort in any way, but rose up with his head still a little bowed, and closed the door after walking out. Leaving us alone, just like we were when he walked inside.

I was expecting to hear the silence singing in the room, just like before, but instead, it's been replaced by sheets and blankets shifting on the bed, and on me, although Sasuke got up from the bed and walked the small distance until he reached the closet, which consists of exactly six drawers. He opened the fourth drawer, and pulled out some clothes. I wasn't really paying any attention to him, but stared at the closed door, until I was hit by something flat in the face. The clothes fell a bit from my face, onto my lap while in that instant, I twisted my neck so fast to throw daggers at him with my eyes that I could've swore that I almost sprained my neck.

"What the heck?" I yelled at him, completely outraged. Refusing to just slightly think that the discomfort and anger I felt was from being ignored.

"Well, if you have any clothes, there's plenty of room in the closet." He sarcastically said with his arms crossed at his chest, throwing back the evil stare I had, right into the dark pits of humiliation, where it came from after all.

I grabbed the pants and shirt from my leap and stared a bit at them. Then I looked at him again, but he was with his back at me already, searching in the small closet for something again.

"Gee…thanks." I tried, but it came out in such a low tone that I was almost sure he hasn't heard me at all, which didn't completely bother me. Though I still felt bad about earlier, it didn't mean I will turn into a lamb for him, just so he'll feel better, after all, in my mind, he still was the insensible one for giving such a stupid order to the whole Kingdom.

Still, no one said a word, until out of nowhere, the words left my mouth so fast, without even thinking about them first.

"You know…I never met my parents either." I whispered while nervously tugging at the blanket. But just after I finished the sentence, I realized what I've said, my head rose up to also realize that I've been unconsciously looking down at the blanket, now, to look at him. To see him fully acknowledging me, looking at me, with inexpressive eyes, but not empty of emotions.

The moment lasted, and hung in the air as we searched in our eyes for something. Not words. After all, since when we meet, and until now, our words are like sharp blades, meant only to hurt each other, no matter how much we'd want to just lightly touch our skin with it, it's still sharp, and it's still a blade.

But our eyes hold the knowledge that there's something more to us. From the first time we met.

I didn't realize he's on the bed, until the bed itself made a sound at its weight. Still, not even then. I wasn't able to look away. Why? I couldn't tell…

"Naruto…who…" He whispered, but didn't finish, his eyes locked with mine. Then, he looked down, at the sheets, but in the dark. He's eyes closed. He got up and took his shirt off. I was taken aback by the sudden events. But said nothing, while the curious person in me protested considerably by the unfinished sentence.

"What? What do you want to say? Who what?" I asked, while he changed his clothes without even hesitating. I wanted to ask again, but I stopped to stare at his lean back, to also see it covered by a blouse once again. My voice recovered.

"Come on. Ask me. Stop ignoring me!" I said, almost tried to shout, but couldn't. Also obviously and blindingly staring as he took his pants off too in front of my face. My cheeks heated up a bit, but I was too concentrated, too curious, about his question, and suddenly, though I'd never admit it, not even to myself, curious about his body.

When he was fully dressed, he turned around to look at me once again, as I fully began to be conscious about my red cheeks. A smirk appeared, and the humiliation from staring grew into anger for him, seeming to do it all on purpose.

"What's wrong with you?!" I asked and this time, yelled, for his smirk grew into an almost whole smile.

"You're enjoying the view?" He said in something that seemed to be a playful voice, and expression.

The change of personality, the change of reactions and stares made me almost ask if he was the same person at all.

'It's as if…he's replaying this…as if…he's talking with someone else…like last night…' The thought had no logic whatsoever, but his eyes showed the same emotion like the ones he had last night while drinking. Although, last night, I thought they were like that because of the wine, but it seemed, he has them when he's also sober.

"No." I automatically responded to his teasing and I got up from the bed as if afraid to stay in it any longer. I almost ran to the bathroom which was at his right, and closed the door behind me. I took the clothes with me, but they fell to the floor as I also slipped down on the door, sighting.

'Who's the one you're talking with?' I asked myself, in my own mind, and as if he heard me, some knocks on the door made me get up, afraid he'll hit me with the door if he wants to get in.

"Be quick, the training starts in a bit." He said, and I was pretty sure he won't be coming in any time soon.

'Wait…'

"What training? Training for what?!" I asked, stunned in place, and absolutely furious now.

"You'll see." Came the calm reply and also, perfectly normal.

'To hell with it.' I thought as I started to get dressed myself with his clothes which were a bit bigger than mine, fit for someone a bit taller than me.

'Trusted me that much to give me your clothes?' I wanted to ask, but I stopped. After fixing my hair a bit in the mirror, thinking I said enough dumb things for the last hour.

When I got out of the bathroom, he was quietly cleaning his sword with what seemed like a clean rag.

After observing this, one step's been enough for me to drop the clothes again, and to start pointing my finger to the shiny thing from his lap, and to start stuttering.

"W-why are you doing t-that? Don't tell me we're training with t-that?!" I started, just to be cut off, with a much flat and non-desperate voice.

"You thought you can be part of an army without fighting?" He asked with some amused expression on his face. As if already declaring me stupid enough to think that pigs can actually fly.

So, in one second, I straightened my back, and let my arms down by my sides, with a shy and unbelievable voice, I unwillingly whispered:  
>"A…no?" I tried to make it sound like I really believed what I was saying but in fact, I really forgot all about fighting. Thoughts like: 'I never held a sword in my life.' or 'I don't want to kill anybody.' passed through my mind out of nowhere ,and my face must have showed it, because he seemed more amused than before, if that was even possible.<p>

So, just to take revenge (for me, it seemed like it), he got up from the bed and stretched his hands out to me, with the huge sword in the palm of his hands, so close to me that if I bowed my head a little bit, my nose would hit the blade.

"W-what are you doing?" I asked while I scratched the back of my head nervously with my hands, trying not to seem surprised.

"There's not enough room in here, but maybe you want to warm up before we go out." He told me, with his eyes so attentive at my every reaction, but I could see how entertaining it was for him to see me like that.

"Warm up…yeah…sounds great…but, you know what, I think I'll do…all that later…" I hoped it didn't show I didn't even know what I was talking about, but he didn't seem to buy it at all, instead he almost hit me with the sword in my chest, forcing me to take it. So I took it, almost sure he'll corner me up with it, just so I'll have no escape.

In the second my hands have touched the structure of the sword, one hand at each edge, he let go of it. I almost fell completely with it, forced my muscles to cooperate and hold it manly, but they all screamed to let it go, because of lack of exercise and refusal to hold such a heavy thing.

"What the hell's this made from?!" I asked, ridiculed to find the sword too heavy to just lift, long and sharpened to no end.

"It's not an elephant if that's what you're wondering about." He answered, and I could hear the joke from his voice, his taunt, and just then, I looked up to him to see a smirk which made me warm. Without any explanation.

"You think it's funny? You'll see how funny I'll be when I'll cut your head off!" I yelled, but words seemed to have no impact while I still struggled not to drop it like the weightless clothes which still stood at on the floor.

"If any consolation, it will fall off by itself when I'll rot in the grave, one hundred years from now. It'll be easier for you at least." He talked back with the same amusement.

I started to get tired, my hands started shaking. This annoyed me even harder. In the end, I let the end of the blade to stick in the ground, while I held one of my hands on it, like a pirate, as if I triumphed over it.

"See…there's no match for…" I started, but the sword didn't enter the ground as well as I thought, while it shifted from left to right, ready to fall with me, still holding my balance on it, though it all lasted just barely one second. The smile from his face disappeared, and in that instant, he took the sword from under me and held me in his arms, as if protecting me. Though I couldn't deny it felt good after feeling exhausted for trying to hold the sword still for just for two seconds.

I stood like that longer than I should probably had, the smell of his skin was that of vanilla, but still manly in some way. His hand which was around my waist was tightly securing me, and embracing me to his chest, closer, even after I was safe, and the sword was in his other arm. Listened to him breathing for a few seconds, and I could swear I felt his lips on the top of my head in that moment.

I hesitantly got away, both falling silent, though when I looked up, his eyes were following me, attentive, and dare I say, lustful. But I ignored it all, because I just knew I wouldn't be able to act the same around him if I recognized that he's one of those guys. No matter how natural it all seemed. Not forced, but fated. It was wrong, so I had to walk away though I know his intense gaze was still on me.

After that, we had to blow every single candle from the bedroom, bathroom and the main room. Couldn't but ask him why there were so many candles, when there were also lamps and chandeliers. His answer was:

"The electricity doesn't work very well at night. And since we're underground, there's no moonlight, so you can easily hurt yourself since there will be complete darkness all over the place."

I immediately wanted to ask if he or someone else, ever got hurt in this way, when he first came here and just after that, realized the electricity problem , but instead, I let it go, declared that this was none of my business, yet.

We stood just a couple of seconds in complete darkness until he turned on the light for the stairs to get out of the place, but even though I've always been afraid of the dark in some way or another, this time, I haven't been afraid at all. But careful to hold him by the arm, while he led me to the stairs.

When he opened the door, and then walked outside, I thought I'd get blind. The sun shone brightly and melted me under its powerful rays. Three minutes later, I was able to acknowledge the breeze blowing softly over my skin and disturbing the trees, making them complain; made me feel the grass sprayed with fresh morning dew, tickling my feet; to hear the birds and the unknown living animals from all around speaking to each other, and even the sun warming my skin right after the wind made me shiver a bit from how cold, yet gentle, it is.

I was able to see again just in time, after I studied the nature. Just because you don't see a forest like this every day. While me, being the modern type of guy, who lived in the city almost his entire life, but always walked in the park each time I got the time, well…it felt as if I was in some new world, a parallel universe, and if the nature surprised me, then finally looking at what Sasuke was looking at, then, that really is a view you don't see any more in these days.

I've seen the army yesterday too. But now, they are all lined up, men of all heights, but mostly tall and muscled men, lined up in front of him. Though they look like gorillas, their eyes show that they're smart. With their heads up as if waiting for orders, equipped in clothes that look comfortable, but especially made for 'training'. I realized that, because they had the swords attached too.

But Sasuke isn't looking at them even though his body's positioned in front of them. He's looking at me. Expecting for me to do something, his gaze asks for me to make a move, to break a bone, and his gaze it's only getting colder.

"What?!" I finally asked when he didn't look away, for me to look at the soldiers which are also looking at me now.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked, completely dumbfounded.

One of the soldiers which is the first in the line, coughed in his hand, to get my attention. He inclined his head to his right, to the rest of the soldiers, so I stared at them all until I was looking at the forest besides them.

"You want me to leave?!" I asked, almost prepared to fight one of them for making me go into the huge forest in which I'll surely die, though I won't get to the forest, but at least I'd die fighting.

"If this is the initiation test for joining the army then…" I stopped because Sasuke finally moved, took me by my arm and forced me to move where he wanted.

"Ouch…stop." I automatically said, because his grip was so tight that I was sure he left a mark, but I said nothing more, when I realized he left me at the end of the line, of the tall soldiers, while I seemed to be the smallest and the skinniest. But just then I realized I should've got in the line. I was one of the soldiers now.

"Sorry…I just…" I tried to explain, scratching the back of my head, but I was cut off by Sasuke's sharp and authoritative voice.

"Silence!" His demanding voice and aristocratic features showed just in that one word. In that place, in the place that I was sure it belonged to the soldier that he buried, I saw him like his soldiers saw him. Because his posture changed, now, for the first time for my eyes, he looked like a real King.

His posture changed, his back, always straight was now even more straightened, his eyes were forcing you to show respect, his voice made you do exactly as he said, even if you wanted to or not, it didn't let you think. No matter if in my mind, I still imagined that picture from when he was still a kid, in his clan, in his world, smiling, with a family. Now, I'm sure he has blue blood running through his veins.

'But then, why did they put you at the end of that book? If you're the son of the King or something, why isn't your family in the first photo from them all, but the last?'

"This is the first day after our dear friend died, but that doesn't mean we'll slack off. He wouldn't want us to do that. Instead, we'll work harder than we ever did. Understood?!" His voice, though using simple words, wasn't shouting, wasn't whispering, but also wasn't talking normally, but just like a King. He was so different from what I saw last night and this morning that it was almost scary.

I admired him for having such power but still, just after he said what he said, I realized that his clothes are black. They're all in black.

'They're all in mourning! Besides me!'

Feeling self-conscious, I looked down at the clothes he gave me and at which I didn't pay much attention because it was so dark and I was so distracted when I've put them on, just now, to see that I'm wearing white.

As he instructed us to run a bit in a circle around him, I couldn't help but be the only one staring at him because I couldn't stop thinking:

'You were the one who picked the clothes for me! You wanted me to stand out or something? It's like I couldn't care less about the guy who just died, but that's not true!'

Even though I couldn't really accuse him, because he's right, and we both know it. No matter how nice I'd want to be. I know nothing of the other guy, and maybe, I never will.

"Uzumaki!"

''The heck?"

He yelled just when I fell on the ground, and one of the soldiers who was running behind me almost stepped on me. In fact, he stepped a bit on my leg.

The King himself looked down on me, as one of the soldiers helped me to get up from the ground as I also tried to take the earth off of my now dirty white clothes.

"Since when do you call me by my family name?" I asked him, though I was sure he realized I'll fall and that's why he called out to me. I didn't fell from what he said, but while I stood on the ground, all it annoyed me was that now, that he was all 'King mode' he's so almighty that I don't even deserve to be called by my first name.

"You're slowing the others down, so you'll do with five laps more than the others." He said, still in the same posture.

"You're kidding me, right?" I almost started laughing while I realized that my right hand got scratched a bit and a bit of blood was getting out of the wound. But he wasn't smiling at all.

"Ten laps." He declared and I raised my eyebrow at the response.

"Twenty." He continued.

I was too stunned to say anything at all when I realized he's all serious. So he just added more.

"Thir…"

"Twenty it is!" I yelled, afraid he'll get to one hundred.

Half an hour later, I was with the King a bit further from the other soldiers. Who are really training with their swords while I was still running the eleventh lap, and I was running out of energy and breath. But when I stopped at the ninth lap, he took his sword out and he looked ready to stick it in me, so I got up immediately and started running again.

He didn't look like he wanted to talk to me at all. The 'King-mode' started to get on my nerves seriously. But I already knew I couldn't do anything to him while he was like this, he already proved it.

But running like this isn't the last exercise I had to do, but the first, so I stole a glance or two at what I was supposed to do next, which meant to fence with one of the soldiers. But my biggest problem was how I was supposed to lift the damn heavy sword. Not to mention that if one of them did the moves they were doing right in the moment I kept running, then I'd be dead after the twentieth lap.

'Maybe joining his army wasn't such a good idea after all. I just wrote my sentence to death.' I thought, as I refused myself the honor and horror to look at the soldiers anymore, to look at their King, who was absolutely expressionless.

When I started to honestly think I won't be able to move my feet just two steps ahead, the recent memory played into my mind:

_*I didn't realize he's on the bed until the bed itself made a sound at its weight. Still, not even then. I wasn't able to look away. Why? I couldn't tell…_

"_Naruto…who…" He whispered, but didn't finish, his eyes locked with mine.*_

"Naruto, my ass!" I yelled at him as I ran faster and faster, and when I finally finished, I thought my lungs will let me die on the wet grass. Not that I minded…but the King won't let his new soldier die! No? No matter how much mercy he'd show if he'd do just that.

"Get up, and get a sword." He said, standing in front of me. I opened my eyes, I held them closed until then, due to the pain which exploded each time I breathed.

The words he said seemed so impossible to do, that I really didn't even considered doing what he said. Until his foot was on my stomach, as if he owned me. He didn't hit me hard at all, but he knew I'd get annoyed if he'd do that. I had to much pride, even if he was the freaking King. But I was so tired that all I succeeded to do was to put my hands on his feet and keep them there, to realize he's barefoot, and his foot isn't dirty at all, but surprisingly clean. If I didn't know better, it looked as if I was giving him a massage.

We both noticed that the gesture was getting intimate, so he took his foot away in the instant I also took my hands away. That's when I also got up from my place, staying in front of him, looking him in the eye.

'Embarrassing truth time.'

I'm the type that would never admit that I'm not good at something after admitting I am. Well, I never said I'm good with swords or guns, or anything close to it. But being part of the army means that I should be. That didn't get to my head until now. So, the only reason I exhaled a huge amount of air, causing my lungs to protest again, and already regret what I'm about to say, is in fact the freaking fear that this time, the thing I said I'm good at, and the truth being, I'm not good at it at all, will cost me my head.

"I don't know anything about swords, besides that they're bigger knives and that they can cut flesh, and I also have no idea about guns, never liked them both. Never touched a sword until today, and also, never touched a gun. " I let it out in one breath but his expression didn't change and in fact, he didn't even seemed fazed, still, a tiny bit satisfied.

"I already know." He told me, making me feel dumb once again for just mentioning it. But I knew that if I didn't say it, he'd just let me fence with the best of the soldiers. I saw him walking in the direction of some swords that were on the grass besides some tress, though; I didn't expect him to talk anymore. But he did, after a long time, not in the King-mode, but in the bastard-mode.

"By the way, you're welcome, for the clothes."

I stopped in my tracks and watched him walking ahead of me to the swords. While I thought back about when we were in the bedroom, and I said 'thanks' for the clothes, believing he didn't hear me.

'I'll kill him one day.' I quietly started planning how to suffocate him in his sleep, when a tiny sword was flying my way, quickly enough for it to cut me completely.

I caught it in the last second.

I sighted, relieved, that I was able to hold a sword and not drop it, not to mention, for the first time, but just in the right time to save my life.

When Sasuke was beside me after two seconds, I yelled so loud that I could've sworn I saw one soldier or two turning their heads to look at us.

"Are you crazy?! You're trying to kill me?!" I screamed, but a small smile still appeared on my face. Firstly, because I was finally holding a sword, glad that there were swords for me too; secondly, because he wasn't looking down on me anymore.

He looked to be back to his normal self.

'But maybe that's because we're so far away from the soldiers?''

"This sword," he pointed out to the sword from my hands, "is the one we give to the kids that want to learn to fight when they're too little to hold a real sword, but want to gain experience." He explained, with the corner of his lips forming a smile, more and more, while my face became a frown and threw daggers at him.

"Is that so?" I ironically asked, daring him to answer me.

Even though I've been afraid from the first time I realized I also have to train, to hold a sword, and then to use it. I wasn't anymore. My opponent wasn't one of the soldiers, but Sasuke. Which, I hoped, will be kind to me, and teach me, slowly and painless, to use it.

At first, he stood in front of me, telling me to come at him with all that I've got. But all I did was to stay there and pray to God he won't come at me! Somehow, he didn't, no one did. He realized, I won't do it, and also realized that if he does, I'll probably run away and kill myself by hitting my head in a tree or something.

So, he put his sword down and stood behind me, grabbing my hands and my legs, positioning me to stay in some uncomfortable position which he names: fencing pose.

He also somehow convinced me to fight with the air a little bit, while he patiently watched me. But even if I tried my best, when I looked at him, he was massaging his forehead as if I was stressing him out.

"What did you do to the pose I made you keep? It's like you're dancing with a stick!" He said while he almost ran to me and stopped me from moving anymore.

"Sorry, told you I never did this." I smiled, trying to get him to be more comfortable, but instead, he looked more annoyed, maybe because I didn't seem to take it very seriously, though I was really trying.

He held me by my shoulders and this time, he was really massaging me.

"A…what are you doing?" I asked him, my cheeks getting to a pink color because his face was way too close to mine.

However, he continued to massage me further as if I never said anything.

I started looking around, to realize that I couldn't even see the soldiers anymore; we entered the forest for real this time, but not too far because I could still hear them. The sun shone brighter all around us, despite the high and old tress. The wind got softer, and the nature was so green and alive that it was like I was in some unreal painting.

When he stopped massaging my shoulders, I immediately missed the comfort. To realize that I was really hurting all over, now my back was really aching, along with my legs, still, my shoulders are the only one feeling just right.

Before I could say anything, he was already behind me, embracing me just like last night when he caught me with the book of his clan. His chest on my back, his leg beside my leg, his head on my shoulder, and now, his hand on the hand in which I hold the sword.

"You must keep this position, get it?" He said, but I barely heard what he was saying.

'What's happening to me?'

"Yeah, I get it." I heard myself saying, a bit breathless.

He started moving, and when he did, I moved too.

'His body's moving mine.'

I closed my eyes because my heartbeats were so quick that I thought I was having a heart-attack, though I realized it was stupid, I really hoped he didn't notice any of it.

He continued moving me, until he was really glued to me, and to my surprise, my posterior was really reacting and glued itself to him. Which I found disgusting…but I couldn't stop it.

"Naruto…" I heard him whispering on my cheek.

"Yeah?" I whispered with my eyes still closed.

"Open your eyes." I opened them, and my sword fell instantly to the ground. Not because it was too heavy, but because his hand was in mine, and I really was hoping that I was just imagining it.

He held my hand while we stood like that, none of us moving.

'I'm about to cry.'

He must've noticed something was wrong with me. Because he was now in front of me, still holding my hands and caressing my cheek in such a caring way that I found it and I felt it... heart-breaking.

"Is something wrong?"

I couldn't speak, couldn't move. I know I should start to walk away, or move, talk, but I can't.

"Look, I'm not making any move on you if that's what you're thinking, I'm just…sor…"

"It's fine." I cut him off because I didn't want to hear that he's apologizing for something he's not sorry for.

'He's only teaching me to use the freaking sword!' I told myself, but in the back of my mind, the me, who knew my past, said something differently: 'Yeah right, he'll really use his S-W-O-R-D on you! Don't worry moron, he's only teaching you, you like it anyway, so just T-R-A-I-N until the end!'

"You're pale…" I heard him saying, and just then, I snapped out of it, to stare into his black eyes, to recognize the emotion I hated to give to people, something I hate almost more than pity, which is: worry.

"We had enough for today, let's go back." He said, picking up the sword from the grass and looking prepared to carry me to the underground.

"No, it's fine. I can do it." I assured him smiling a little, but he didn't believe me.

"Let's go." He said again.

"I can do it, Sasuke!" I told him, my voice being filled with anger this time. He looked taken aback by my sudden change of expressions, but I couldn't take…worry.

For the rest of the day, I really trained, this time, with the bastard-come-at-me-with-all-you've-got-mode, and before I knew it, the moon was enlightening our path. We really took our time going underground, or what I consider now as 'home', because it was a full-moon night. And the sky was filled with stars, despite the town which only had a few, this new sky, was shining.

We were exhausted when we got inside. The luck was that the electricity still worked because it hasn't been used for the whole day. We ate in silence, and then I took a shower, dropping on the bed on my belly with my face straight in the pillow, as Sasuke took a shower after me. He didn't stay in long at all, after barely ten minutes; he was out, in the bed, beside me.

"You're not tired?" He asked, a bit sarcastic.

"I've never been more tired in my life." I answered.

"Then, why are you still awake?" He asked, as he finally let the towel he kept rubbing his hair with, on a chair close to the bed.

"My back hurts like hell." I told him, while closing my eyes, but I sure didn't expect him to sit on me and to start massaging my back.

"You're also tired…you don't need to…" I started though feeling better already and in some way, grateful.

"I know how much the muscles hurt when you just start training." He started as if thinking of the old days, and I just bit my lips, stopping myself from asking who massaged his back when he first started training.

"Some clothes will arrive tomorrow, for you." He continued, now massaging my shoulders. I felt better, but his T-shirt annoyed me a bit.

"Hmm…my size?" I asked, half asleep but half-awake, trying to fully take the pleasure of his great massage, because I wasn't sure he'll be so nice tomorrow too.

After everybody left, we were the only ones still training. Though I knew he was going very easy on me, it's still tiring; a whole day of training still takes a lot of energy. But I guess he was impressed I didn't slack off at all, doing whatever he asked me to. But I wasn't sure I could ever do it again.

"Yes. And many of them are orange too." His voice continued to make me feel even more comfortable, it was like we knew each other for years and I just couldn't get enough of it. I was afraid to fall asleep.

"How did you find out that I like orange?" I asked him with a small smile on my lips.

"Because, I let you have a toothbrush of every color, and you only took the orange one." He responded with a voice which held a smile in it.

"You …sly king…" I started, but I didn't mean it, I was smiling like a fool.

Only two minutes of comfortable silence and heavenly massage, and I heard myself saying.

"Take it off."

I thought he'll ask me: take off what? But he didn't. Instead, he took of the T-shirt as if he can read my thoughts. Not to mention, he continued to massage me after taking it off, skin on skin. In my mind, I swore that if it didn't work out with the King thing, then the next job he should get would be that of a masseur.

"You're so good at it." I complimented him, and I heard him smirking. However, I thought I'd never admit he's good at anything, but it didn't bother me to say it, I wanted to say it.

"I'm good at a lot of things."

"And you're also very modest." I continued, and I just knew we were both smiling. It felt so natural, and so innocent that I couldn't stop this thought:

'I don't want this to end.'

I felt like crying for the second time in the same day.

"Feels better?" He asked me, after a couple of minutes, as he also stopped his hands.

"A lot better." I responded, though sleepy, and also a bit proud of myself that I was able to stay awake after falling asleep so many times and waking up again.

He got off me, and showed me the T-shirt, as if asking me to put it on.

"It'll get cold at night." He announced me, as if saying: if you remember last night…

"I know… but I don't want to move." I mumbled, already closing my eyes, refusing the idea of moving, completely.

But he didn't give up. I was gently lifted, with my eyes still closed, and turned so, that I wasn't on my belly anymore, but on my back. Nothing hurt so I didn't mind even if I didn't see anything. He lifted my hands up and slid the T-shirt on them, not even disturbing me a bit, after all, it was his, and still a bit bigger than me. I let my hands down, felt the blankets covering me, but just when I thought he'd go to his side and put his head on his pillow, because I was already, almost entirely, asleep, still… I felt someone's breath on my lips, just like I felt them last night after we drank too much.

And even though I really wanted to believe I was dreaming, it felt too real, too close. He was breathing on my lips.

But it lasted only a couple of seconds, for I heard him getting off the bed to turn off the light, heard him staying on his side of the bed, and when nothing touched me anymore, I finally fell asleep.

To be continued…

**AN2:** Anybody believes me if I say that this chapter has 6,968 words? This is the longest chapter I ever wrote. In my entire life! And I've written since I was a kid…god. Anyway, I'll update next Friday. I hope this chapter doesn't have too many mistakes. And not too many confusing parts. Many things you'll find out in the future! Don't get me started again with the fact that I'm not the type of writer to give you all the answers in just one chapter..or ten...ahem. Hope you liked it anyway. See you next time.


	10. Chapter 10:No light

**AN1:** Today's Monday, isn't it? Well, I know it's no excuse… but my computer died for a couple of days. No one knew what it was until we checked the sockets, for me to realize that my new kitty probably stepped on the button which turns it on and off or something... Had plenty of time to think of the chapter though, enough rambling so….but still: This chapter is beta'd by konakisen.

**From the previous chapter:**

'_He got off me, and showed me the T-shirt, as if asking me to put it on._

_"It'll get cold at night." He announced me, as if saying: if you remember last night…_

_"I know… but I don't want to move." I mumbled, already closing my eyes, refusing the idea of moving, completely._

_But he didn't give up. I was gently lifted, with my eyes still closed, and turned so, that I wasn't on my belly anymore, but on my back. Nothing hurt so I didn't mind even if I didn't see anything. He lifted my hands up and slid the T-shirt on them, not even disturbing me a bit, after all, it was his, and still a bit bigger than me. I let my hands down, felt the blankets covering me, but just when I thought he'd go to his side and put his head on his pillow, because I was already, almost ,entirely asleep, still… I felt someone's breath on my lips, just like I felt them last night after we drank too much._

_And even though I really wanted to believe I was dreaming, it felt too real, too close. He was breathing on my lips._

_But it lasted only a couple of seconds, for I heard him getting off the bed to turn off the light, heard him staying on his side of the bed, and when nothing touched me anymore, I finally fell asleep.'_

**The actual (new) chapter:**

Dark. It was too dark to see a thing. No structure, no color, no smell, no sound; because there's nothing to touch, nothing to feel, just void and null, just blankness and vacancy, just like...a desert of darkness.

Chapter 10: No light

' _"Hey! Blondie!"_

_"I already want to go back..."_

_"What're you saying there, Blondie?"_

_"Ehh...!"_

_"You're some weird hottie, y'know? What's wrong babe?"_

"_Dude, the drugs have got to your brain and have burnt it, you're out of gray cells my friend, so I'm just gonna take my luggage and just so you know, my name's Naruto, what's your ..."_

_"Not so fast, B-l-o-n-d-i-e." '_

My eyelids opened up on their own. Just to think that my brain really has that protective part which blocks painful memories. Which I personally thought it appears just when you had an accident and survived. Falling off a building, suffocating, drowning, getting stabbed or something close to it, but that was no accident.

Somehow, meeting so many people, seeing so many things, getting kidnapped, then rescued, and then trying to get into Sasuke's army …well, my mind seemed to completely forget how I got into the desert in the first place, after arriving into some town, but this dream in which the darkness surrounded me from every corner and the voice of the hippie haunting me really woke me up completely.

Though, the reality's still sleeping. Sasuke embraces me in his sleep again, I take that back, Sasuke suffocates me in his sleep again.

"You…damn King…" I mumbled while fighting with his long and big hands, nonetheless… beautiful. Though I couldn't help but think bad of it, and I really wished I was the one writing the newspaper around here, just so everybody would know about this side of their oh-so-almighty-King. Though I didn't want to admit it, I stood a bit too much in his arms even while awake, enjoying the warmth, comfort and safeness.

"Stop moving." He said, almost commanded as he pulled me closer to his chest.

'I feel like a puppy.' I thought as I was practically squeezed like a teddy bear.

"What's wrong with you? Let me get up!" I started yelling and fighting, feeling a bit…small.

"Ten minutes." He whispered in my ear and I could feel my face heat up.

I went silent. His breath on my ear and neck sure didn't help. But while staying like that, I tried to remember once again about the actual problem, not the…bed problem.

'Wait…'

"You freaking…! Why are we sleeping in the same bed anyway?! You pervert!" I finally asked to get a sleepy moan against my ear.

'God…'

"There's only one bed." This was his obvious, serious, though still sleepy answer that absolutely made my blush advance in a deeper shade of color.

Minutes passed by slowly, so I lost count on how many, but it didn't bother me anymore. I accepted it without fighting. His hands on my belly, around my waist; his front pressed against my back and his mouth against my ear and neck. I was about to fall asleep again, but when my eyes closed and the darkness covered my view, I couldn't help but shudder at the memory of the haunting voice.

"Sasuke…" I started, a bit unsure about what I was about to say next.

"Yes?" He asked, though he sounded half asleep already.

'Maybe it's better if he's asleep.' My conscience suggested.

"When I arrived into this town…or whatever this is…some hippie guy kind of, welcomed me, and then he took my luggage and hit me in the head with …something, then I woke up where you found me..."

I explained but didn't look at him though I felt no reaction whatsoever, the atmosphere got tense; I felt it getting thicker like a fog. He was not saying anything, so I continued.

"…and…I was wondering why he kidnapped me, why the streets were filled with guys like him…" I talked and smiled, amused by my own new conclusion. "…I mean, from what I remember, the town was practically dead, there were no normal citizens, the blocks seemed empty, the streets were empty, there was not even one tree and…"

A hand against my mouth prevented me from narrating further. I tried to move my lips, but I was completely silenced. My hand against his hand did nothing but touched his, and asked for my mouth to be released. But I wasn't given permission to speak. I thought about biting him, but I just didn't. I tried to move and look at him, but he wouldn't let me.

"There are things with no answers in this world, and this is one of them." His voice seemed to echo in the silent room. I was about to fight back but his hand was still there. Minutes later, his hand moved to my neck and held it there. For me to realize, there were no words or thoughts in my mind anymore.

I felt his lips on the back of my neck as if congratulating me for shutting up. Maybe if he wouldn't have done that, then I wouldn't have spoken ever again about it, but maybe…just maybe, he wanted me to speak about it, and that's why he kissed the back of my neck, making me get closer, if possible, against him, as his hand held my neck and chin up.

"Who 'he heck do you think you're talking to? I know you almost know nothing about me, but I have the right to know why I'm here!" I yelled as he continued to caress my neck, to keep my chin up, against his body and breathe on my neck.

At that time, I had no idea why I wasn't doing anything about that position. About what we were doing, after all, it wasn't normal for two guys to stay like that…but I guess…the two of us just weren't normal to begin with.

"Why you're here? You wanted to be part of my army, that's why you're here, Naruto." He whispered, and my neck sent signals that just made me glue my back and posterior to him.

'Stop it Naruto…'

"I wouldn't want to be part of your army if…hell…I wouldn't even have known of your army if I wouldn't have been kidnapped in the first place! So why the heck…?"

"Shh… Naruto…" He whispered in my neck and I could swear that my lower parts were having their own fun.

'You're disgusting Naruto…'

"Don't shh me! They said you were the one to rescue them all, so why are they kidnapped in the first place?!" I continued but my breathing was quicker and shorter, his felt the same, and we were too close, it wasn't normal. But I just couldn't get up even if I wanted to.

"Why did you come to this town?"

"Don't change the subject."

"I'm not changing it, Naruto. I'm answering you."

"Why does that matter?!"

"If you'd just stayed home and never came to this town then you wouldn't have been kidnapped. That is the way this place is, you're not the first one to get kidnapped."  
>"That's exactly what I'm freaking saying! Why…"<br>"If I wouldn't have rescued you, then they'd have killed you. I saved your life, have a little gratitude."

His voice was deep, serious, but in a breath. Our posture didn't change much. If so, we were even weirder. One of his hands was still on my neck, the other one was on my belly, too low… his lips were still on my neck but it was like on the side of my cheek, so close to my own lips.

'Is this even normal?'

"No freaking way!" I finally got up from that position, but still stood on the bed besides him, breathing heavy, like I just ran a marathon. I was out of breath, out of thoughts…out of me.

"Can't you just answer one damn question like a normal person?!" I screamed, with all that was left in me. I was mesmerized, dizzy, confused, like he just bewitched me, but my question was if his spell was even deliberate.

"I'll take a shower, and then go outside. The training's starting soon. Your clothes are probably in the main room already so just pick some, and then go outside too."

His voice was back to normal, the topic of his sentence was normal, as if I never said anything, as if I didn't just almost sleep with him without even taking our clothes off. I looked at him just when I heard the bathroom door closing, to see his lean back facing my eyes.

Ten minutes later, my heart was still racing with the rest of my body.

'What happened?' I asked myself for endless times until the bathroom door was open again. He's half naked; the only cloth on him is a black towel embracing his waist, contrasting with his porcelain skin.

Water was dripping from his black hair, and from his chest, and if it couldn't be worse. I was staring even after I declared him as being an undercover witch posing as a King.

"Close your mouth, or you'll catch a fly." He told me as he ruffled his hair with another towel.  
>"That's impossible." I answered.<p>

"Why?" He questioned, amused.

"There's no window." I responded with a smile of my own.

I also took a shower, a long one at that. And when I got out, Sasuke wasn't in the room anymore. Not even in the main room. I was all alone. And the whole place seemed lonelier without Sasuke in it.

I wondered back and forth for some couple of minutes, just in a towel, seeing nothing too interesting when I reminded myself that I have to get dressed, which also reminded me of the clothes which were supposed to be in the main room. I intensely searched around to finally see some bags, with orange in it.

I couldn't help but have a small smile, from seeing so many orange T-shirts.

'_Yes. And many of them are orange too." His voice continued to make me feel even more comfortable, it was like we knew each other for years and I just couldn't get enough of it. I was afraid to fall asleep._

_"How did you find out that I like orange?" I asked him with a small smile on my lips._

_"Because, I let you have a toothbrush of every color, and you only took the orange one." He responded with a voice which held a smile in it._

_"You …sly king…" I started, but I didn't mean it, I was smiling like a fool.'_

"You're trying to get on my good side, aren't you, Sasuke?" I talked to the empty room as I dressed myself in an orange T-shirt and gray pants. One pair of sneakers was orange too, and I was certain I'd try and forget the morning events for now, and enjoy the orange fever.

Feeling good in my new clothes, I suddenly asked myself of where I'll put the rest of the clothes. The main room looked like a dressing room all of a sudden. I stuffed the clothes into the bags and took them with me into the bedroom. I opened the first drawer to find it empty.

"Lucky." I snickered to myself.

I folded the clothes as small as I could, but there were still many of them left. So I checked the second drawer to find it also…empty. One eyebrow rose on its own. I checked the third drawer which was no different than the first two. The third one had Sasuke's clothes. It wasn't hard to tell because they were mostly black. The last two drawers were also with his clothes.

'But when did he…?'

I was trying to ignore the suspicion, but thinking back, I've been with Sasuke 24 hours per day since the first day, and I never saw him cleaning up, or making space for my clothes. Not to mention, that it wasn't even planned for me to stay in the same room with him, if it weren't for the wine, I would've slept on the couch for sure.

I sat down on the edge of the bed looking at the small closet.

'There are six drawers, and three of them are empty, three are with your clothes…so…the empty one was supposed to be for someone else, but if they aren't for me, then…?'

I wasn't getting anywhere, no matter how hard I switched and turned everything up in my head, it just didn't make any sense. I didn't have enough information.

"Naruto?!" I heard Sasuke's voice first, then to see him entering the room.

"The training started already, you'll do the warm up alone, again." I heard him saying, but I was still looking at the closet and still staying on the edge of the bed.

"What's wrong?" I felt his pressure on the space beside me, and I knew he sat down and that he's probably looking with worry at me once again. But I didn't let it get to me.

"You won't answer why we're kidnapped and rescued and all that, but at least, can you answer me when did you make space for me in your closet when I surely didn't see you do that?" I asked and the question seemed dumb, even for me.

I looked at him because his answer didn't come. His eyes were expressionless and his body wasn't moving at all. The thought that he's thinking that I'm the dumbest person he ever knows passed my mind, but I trusted my instincts. I've always been one to see the small things, and I needed all the instinct I ever had for this person. So, I listened to it.

"I threw the clothes before you arrived." His voice was normal, but his eyes were icy.

I didn't push it any further because it still didn't make sense.

The practice went the same. Though my body was hurting, my mind was blank. The practice wasn't also any different than yesterday. Maybe just that today, we didn't train so close to each other, but stood with the soldiers and trained with them. I even fenced with one of them, but lost after two mere seconds.

My pride wasn't hurt though. I wasn't good at it, had no talent at it, and no freaking idea about what I was doing, but I was trying my best, and I somehow promised myself that one day, I'll be able to hold a real heavy sword and win each and every match.

The twilight caught us sweaty, drinking water on some rocks from the woods, and just speaking with each other. They weren't mean to me at all; instead, they treated me like a little bother. Which would've annoyed the old me, but they weren't mean about it, so I accepted it, after all, I was the new guy, the only thing which bothered me was when one of them called me 'orange' by mistake, he apologized by saying he has a problem with names.

Sasuke was talking with what seemed to be their commander, a little too far away from us if you ask me. But while I was innocently talking with the soldiers about how bad I am with the 'kid's sword', the conversation caught my interest.

"You are even worse than…him." The face of the man grew darker, sadder in one second, like feeling sorry for even mentioning it, but I just couldn't let it go.

"Him? Who's him?" I asked the man but he wasn't attentive at me anymore. Another one of them answered me with the same low voice.

"The one who died…" He said and shook his head up and down as if regretting for answering.

"Oh, and he was..." I tried to make the conversation get going, but it was a dead end.

"Look…I just want to know a bit about…him…so…please, can you tell me?" I tried, sincerely begged for information. The empty drawers kept bugging me in the back of my mind no matter what I did. His face when he told me he threw them away…

"You're not the first citizen who wants to join the army." One of them started.

"You're the second, though; the first one's been pretty quiet about it. The rest of the citizens never knew where he came from, neither we, none took him in, and that's why they think you're the first, he directly came to us. We found it weird, but the King took him under his wing, just like he took you…they had a…a special relationship."

The man continued and then got up, declaring the conversation, done.

"Under his wing? You mean, he also lived underground with Sa…the King?" I asked, the 'King' thing seemed a bit foreign to my tongue, but I didn't want to get killed for not obeying the freaking order about not saying his name.

"Yeah." One of them said between big sips of water.

'Then…those drawers were…his?'

"And what do you mean by, a special relationship?" I asked, but as if Sasuke heard it all, he stopped my 'getting as much information as possible' conversation.

"Tomorrow is a rough day, so I'll let you off sooner. Sleep well tonight."

All of the soldiers stood up, but me. I just wasn't used to the subordinate place, getting orders and all that, it was an annoying treatment, though I was glad that no one noticed I never got up, his voice wasn't so commanding when he said that so I didn't get the King-mode rush, while they all walked in different directions, leaving me and Sasuke alone, once again.

I was throwing daggers at him for stopping my conversation, he looked unfazed.

"What's with that face?" He asked me as he sat beside me on the cold rock.

"Nothing." I answered but still held my stare.

"Do you have something to tell me Sherlock?" He asked me with a small smile on his lips as he took some blond hairs away from my cheek and moved them after my ear, though they're not so long.

"Who's the guy who died?" I asked him, and his hand stopped on my cheek. His icy eyes returned.

"Do you really want to dig up every single unsaid thing from my whole damn life?" He asked me but with the same, expressionless voice.

"Yup. This is my goal in life. Haven't you heard?" I taunted him, moving my eyebrows up and down with an evil smile and look on my face.

"Why do you care about that guy?" He asked me, ignoring my small joke.

"He lived with you, just like I live with you now, so…I think I have the right to know." I explained. Very calm, and sure of myself, but he wasn't so calm anymore.

"Why do you think you have the right to know everything?" He complained though I really got the vibe which was raising constantly by…anger.

"Chill, I just…I don't know what I want to know. But let's face it; we don't have a normal relationship. And I was wondering if…" I got stuck.  
>"If I had the same abnormal relationship with him too?" But he continued.<p>

"Yeah…" I let it out, while he sighted while looking into my eyes.

"And what relationship do we have? What's so abnormal about it?" He asked me, quietly, as if sharing a secret.  
>"You're playing with my hair, touching me each time you get the chance…it's not…"<p>

"Normal." He finished for the second time, and I already felt bad for realizing all this. I didn't even let myself realize all this and now I was talking to him about it.

"And if I told you that there was nothing between me and that guy, you'd believe me?" He asked me, with a smirk.

"Nope." A small smile played in my voice.

"What do you want me to say? That we were friends? That we were…lovers?"

The word made my eyes burn. Though I wasn't sure exactly why, I immediately blamed the falling sun shining its last rays onto us.

"You…loved him?" The question came out of nowhere. My words were suspicious. Wouldn't even let myself admit I had nothing to do with them. After all, lovers or not, the guy was dead.

"I did, but then I hated him." He took his hand off my cheek and stared at the sun, but I caught his hand while it slipped down. Afraid, or more, embarrassed by it all, and the most, for making him say all this.

"Why?" I asked.

"Why I loved him, or why I hated him?" He said almost laughing.

'Sorry, for making you say all this.' I apologized from the depths of my heart, but I wasn't able to say it.

"Why you hated him?" I inquired as he stared at me once again with big, warm black eyes.

"He betrayed me. Now that you know, you can make sure you won't do the same mistake he did, no?" He almost asked me, and I was taken aback by the sudden change of topic.

I let go of his hand and tried to get up while laughing nervously.

"Whoa..? This has nothing to do with me… You don't have to tell me, I was just…" I tried but the words had no conclusion, I kept scratching the back of my head while I tried to get up but he took my other wrist and kissed my hand.

'I can't breathe anymore.'

"W-what are y-you doing?!" I tried to yell, but it came out as a nervous question.

"Admit you like me." He whispered above my hand.

"Are you drunk or something?" I said while laughing for real this time, tears were starting to corner my eyes.

He pulled my hand until I was one millimeter away from him. He was staring at my lips.

"Admit it." He whispered.

"I don't have anything to admit." I said, strong. So strong and sure, I scared myself.

He didn't look at my lips anymore but in my eyes, trying to see if I'm honest. But I almost had my eyes closed.

'What the heck? What am I? Some chick?' I encouraged myself to free my hand and get up.

He got a hold of my neck and if I didn't pull my lips back a little; I would've kissed him, our foreheads touched already.

"Stop." I commanded, but he didn't seem to care about my plea.

"You want me." He whispered against my lips, a feeling I already experienced too many times.

"We're both guys. Stop the joke."  
>"I'm not joking." To underline his words, this time, he really touched my lips with his lips. One times, two times, feeling the softness of his lips, while I tried hardly to get up, but he was holding me there….forcing me.<p>

_* ' "I'm cold." I complained and at this, he smiled a smile so mean that I couldn't but want to walk away and never look at him again. A smile I didn't liked but had to trust. The man who saved me. I had to trust him even when he touched my nipples and then spread my legs while saying with the same smile on his face: 'I'll help you get warm.' *_

When he tried to part my lips with his tongue, I got up, tripped and fell straight in the grass.

He was staring down at me with sad eyes.

"I told you to stop. Who the hell do you think you are?!" I heard myself yelling. "The king of England?!" …" Okay, you're a King but that doesn't give you permission to kiss whoever you want! I don't like you at all, I thought we were friends!"

My voice, was far…too far… the ground, was…far, under…

"I thought….I thought…" Tears and quick heartbeats. "I thought…" Sweaty and cold.

Trembling, until I lost connection with reality. Until, I only saw nothing.

'I thought…'

Dark. It was too dark to see a thing. No structure, no color, no smell, no sound; because there's nothing to touch, nothing to feel, just void and null, just blankness and vacancy, just like...a desert of darkness.

'If only…you'd be my light.'

To be continued…

**AN2:** Done! A bit shorter than the last one and dramatic, but anyway, it's getting weirder and weirder. And if you're wondering, Sasuke is really forcing himself on Naruto, I know. You'll see why and all that. Though, this was a weird chapter even for me, I mean, I wasn't intending to make them kiss just yet, but it wasn't even a kiss…more like a…forced kiss?  
>I'll stop now anyway. Tell me your opinion on it. At least now you see why Sasuke is all cuddly and always touching Naruto. He was so damn used to it.<p>

See you next time, hope that will be on Friday.


	11. Chapter 11:Sly flies

**AN1: **Hey, new chapter, as you can see. First I want to thank from the bottom of my heart to Floral Hermit and the 'Guest' for their reviews, it's very sweet of you, and it really motivated me to do this chapter on time. As you see, it's Friday and I made it…now I'll stop, but really thank you very much for telling me your opinions. Hope I won't disappoint you. So...now...enjoy.

**From the previous chapter:**

_When he tried to part my lips with his tongue, I got up, tripped and fell straight in the grass._

_He was staring down at me with sad eyes._

_"I told you to stop. Who the hell do you think you are?!" I heard myself yelling. "The king of England?!" …" Okay, you're a King but that doesn't give you permission to kiss whoever you want! I don't like you at all, I thought we were friends!"_

_My voice, was far…too far… the ground, was…far, under…_

_"I thought….I thought…" Tears and quick heartbeats. "I thought…" Sweaty and cold._

_Trembling, until I lost connection with reality. Until, I only saw nothing._

_'I thought…'_

_Dark. It was too dark to see a thing. No structure, no color, no smell, no sound; because there's nothing to touch, nothing to feel, just void and null, just blankness and vacancy, just like...a desert of darkness._

_'If only…you'd be my light.'_

**The actual (new) chapter:**

It was exactly like many years ago when I fainted in the middle of the central park. It was one of the hottest early afternoons I ever took part of in my entire life, and it was also the last time I ever walked on my own in a day when the sun almost blinds you. Aware or not, since then, I always feared the sun, even though, from my skin, from my eyes and even from a bit of my personality, you could tell that the sun adores me.

Chapter 11: Sly flies

"Damn kid…I'll never know why you didn't throw him back to Sisay…that's what you get in return."

They say that the first sense which comes back after fainting, or anything that involves losing conscious, is hearing. And for the second time in my life, I was proved that those who 'investigated' this or lived it; well, they were right. But of course, in most of the movies, the character wakes up hearing their own names, or their mother crying. I heard none of that, but absolutely without any intention, woke up in the middle of someone else's conversation.

"Would you stop complaining? Just…wake him up."

Hearing Sasuke's voice really made me think to keep my eyes closed until I'll probably, fall asleep. Still, my body feels really numb. I tried moving a few fingers, but it was like I had a nightmare and the mattress swallowed me. Nonetheless, even if when I fainted, I was metaphorically, in a real nightmare. However, the other voice which really didn't like me at all has a completely unknown identity for me, yet.

"Do you really want me to wake him up?"

"What do you think?! That I brought you here to sing him a lullaby?"

"No. You know I wouldn't have done it. You can sing to him if you want, but he won't hear you anyway."

'Quite the contrary.' My thoughts were so far and silent, hurting me, or at least, my head. It was a side-effect I definitely didn't remember having the last time when I've been in the same situation.

"But there's no damage on the nerves…"

"This is the third and the last time I'll say it. Even if he hit a pretty hard rock, it seems his head was harder. Nothing broke in there. He can't be dumber than he is anyway, so stop asking already."

'You damn geezer… if only it wouldn't hurt so much to move…' I thought, but then again, something hurt, and I was sure I felt someone's hand touching my head.

'Wait a second…I hit my head on a rock…well…this sure explains the pain, but hell… it can't be more embarrassing…'

"You exaggerated with the bandages, don't you think?" I heard Sasuke mumbling to the man with an unknown face, but who's already on my black list.

"I wanted to cover the kid's damn polluted mouth!"

'He's definitely in the top of my black list!'

"You're the one who's exaggerated here mister King. You're scared that he won't open his eyes just like the last one who was also hit, accidentally of course, aren't you?"

'Why does this old geezer hate everybody?'

Sasuke sighed and took his hand off my head, which is supposed to be bandaged. They made no sounds whatsoever for a couple of seconds in which I tried my best to open my eyes. And when I did, it was only for a second. To see a man in a chair, and Sasuke at my right; I immediately realized that we're in the bedroom, but only after ten seconds I realized that the face of the geezer looks familiar.

_*'"Then when's the best moment to talk? When we die? You won't answer me when everything is calm, and no one's shooting us, but you won't answer …" I wanted to continue, but someone grabbed my blouse so hard that I fell back in my previous place, to look at the brown haired man while he was looking at me for the first time._

_Somehow, I didn't want to know how he can drive in this situation while he isn't looking at the road at all, but at me. But even so, I was curious, I was captivated by his intense gaze, and seriousness that I was ready to listen at whatever he might've wanted to tell me._

_"Listen kid, I don't know who you are, and you don't know who we are, but it doesn't matter if we don't get to the safer area of this hell, so just sit down and shut the fuck up and let us do what we know best."_

_He said and without waiting for an answer, he took his hand off of me, and looked ahead at the road, once again driving, but this time, we were driving straight, the car seemed to have gained its direction and balance once again._

_I stared at the back that was facing me and realized that he is right. While I looked up, but still not moving from the couch, up at the black haired man that is concentrated to where he's shooting, and I realized that the screams of the enemies are louder, and I also realized that we weren't the ones who are losing, so the problem has been me all along._

_"Like I give a fuck!" I told myself even if I also said it in reality, so I stood up once again, and I don't know how I heard the yell of the brown haired man while the screams and the gunshots were still powerful and everywhere to be seen and heard, but this time, I didn't look at the black haired man, I didn't say one word, but I stared at where he was staring, at where he was shooting.'*_

'The freaking geezer is in fact the man who drove me to this damned town with Sasuke!' For the first time after waking up, I screamed in my thoughts, which made my head hurt even worse. Couldn't but think that even if he took part in my rescuing. Though, he as hell doesn't seem to be the type who wants someone else's safeness and good. I couldn't help but ask myself: 'Why the heck did he come?! What …maybe…he's here to take me home?'

Just this thought alone convinced me to open my eyes, and keep them open.

"He's awake." The geezer announced with a voice that sounded almost sad of what he just said.

'Not excited, aren't yea? But if you're here to take me home, I couldn't care less!'

"Naruto, don't…"

Sasuke's voice stopped in the middle of his sentence, as I almost completely got up from the bed, though everything in me seemed to be one wide open wound. But one thing I could tell, even if I had no idea about anatomy or diseases, it all started from the head. I barely could feel anything else but my pulsating head. Not to mention that the bandage was almost covering my eyes, tickling me.

He sat down beside me and gently rested his hands on my arms, stopping me from moving. It was harder enough without his weight.

"You're not allowed to get up; you have to stay in bed." He explained to me like I'm some child. It annoyed me to no end.

"Who says?!" I asked with a voice which I wanted to sound threatening and angry, and it was, but it also wasn't too loud.

"I say." The geezer said. While he's taking a cigar and lifts it to his lips, igniting it. A slim smoke flew above it, then above his head, and spread in the translucent air.

"And who the heck are you?!" I felt my blood boiling in my veins. Sasuke blocked my view, and forced me to stay with my head down on the pillow. It took him a second, and it seemed he didn't even use much force. I refused to think about it.

"He's the doctor, Naruto." Sasuke's voice was much more annoyed than mine. Manly in a way, scary in another way. Just now, that I had my head down, which if I would've admitted, which I wouldn't even if someone cut my head down, felt better now that I didn't have to support it.

"He's t-the…" I mumbled, and then with half opened eyes and a frown, allowed my head to chill and stop any anger which would've covered any clear thought.

'This is the worst day ever.'

'"_This is the third and the last time I'll say it. Even if he hit a pretty hard rock, it seems his head was harder. Nothing broke in there. He can't be dumber than he is anyway, so stop asking already." '_

'He wouldn't have diagnosed me if he wasn't the doctor…duh Naruto.' I strongly wanted to slap myself, but I was almost one hundred percent sure that would knock me out for the third time in my life, this time, for good.

Sasuke was still above me, staring down on me. And now that I calmed down a bit, I took a better look at him, 'cause since I woke up, all I thought about was the geezer but now, looking at Sasuke, I truly thought I've been looking at the wrong person all along.

"You're pale…" I suggested, with my voice barely above a whisper.

"I'm not." He said, with a voice which clearly proved he's not in a good mood.

"You are." The geezer continued between sips of smoke.

"You were worried?" I asked with amusement in my voice. I even smiled a little to show my triumph but he didn't get the joke at all.

"You fainted, and then, two seconds letter, hit your head! How lucky can you get?!" He barely restrained himself from screaming in the whole sense of the word.

"I'm sorry…" The words came out of nowhere. Because that's my reaction when someone screams their lungs out at me out of worry. 'I hate to make people worry.'

However, his reaction to my words was inexplicable. His hands felt weaker, losing his grip. His eyes weren't cold anymore, but warm, so warm that they turned to water. That once intense black…seemed to be washed into a feeling I didn't quite get at all. I couldn't understand what was happening anymore.

"I'll stay with him. You go out. I don't want two unconscious brats." The old geezer almost tried to sound casual, but his eyes couldn't be mistaken, they were fixed on me, as if he wanted to just make me burn just by looking at me.

Sasuke got out as he was told, like the nice brat that he isn't. For the first time since I met him. He seemed weak. As for me…I was stuck in the bed, which was in the same room with the most horrifying doctor ever born.

The only thing I remembered better about him was his brown hair, which now, that I had a closer look owned a few white hairs here and there. His eyes weren't anything special except the burning expressions they could make. Even though I could tell he was a heavy smoker, his teeth were almost too white. He wasn't fat but wasn't very thin either. He didn't look like a real doctor to me, as for, my last doctor and only doctor, was a fat man with no hair on his head.

I had no intention to start a conversation, and after he finished his last cigar, and took another one, seemed to be the indication that he's not talking either. Still, he did, one word: "Brat." My frown was so intense that it hurt my face.

"Would you stop calling me that already?" I asked him with real intention of getting a 'yes.' Instead, I got a:

"No." And that was our conversation for the last half hour.

Or so it seemed for me, though I could've sworn that it last longer, it couldn't. Sasuke wasn't back yet and I never was one for not moving for a long time, so it sure seemed like hours passed by.

"What's your name?" I asked. Looking at the wall of my left. Refusing to look at him. Knowing he's still smoking, hearing it in fact. But I didn't want to look at him. I wanted to talk, to move, to do something! Moving was out of question, since my head was feeling just a little bit better, talking was the only solution I had left before I would've probably gone insane.

"How much do you want to know my name?" He asked back as if he was trading precious information.

"Not as much as I'd want to know why do you keep calling me brat." I continued. And even if it was stupid. I just wanted to do something, so I was one hundred percent sure I'd be glad to talk about anything. Well…almost anything.

"How old are you?" He asked.

"Almost twenty."

"See, you're a brat."  
>I wasn't even able to get annoyed by his words. I was more pissed off that the silence returned; but only outside my head, 'cause inside, it was buzzing like the largest army of flies made a home in it. The dumbest questions came to my mind but I didn't really want to know the answers so, I picked a question that had an answer I was interested about.<p>

"What's wrong with Sasuke?"

"Not your business."

This was the last drop which filled the glass.

"As hell it's my damn business."

"As hell it is!" He screamed, seriously pissed off.

We were both staring at each other. His cigar was one millimeter away from his lips, hanging in the air and dirtying the air.

"Look, I really want to know…" I started but I didn't know how to finish. Thinking back, the fact that I overreacted over something as foolish as an innocent kiss, and fainted due to nothing to certain for me than exhaustion, ;too much exercise, after all, I never been one to exercise, it's been the most effort I've had in my life. And maybe the reason why I fainted last time, freaking out and also lack of any vitamins in my body, I never ate healthy food. Last time I checked, I was dead anemic. Never really cared, until I fainted; to get back to eating unhealthy food, but even so…

"Please tell me…" This time, he reacted. He was still a bit angry. But I refused to give fire to his already well cut wood, and I changed the expression of my face. I was really honest, so he had nothing against me this time.

"It's your fault." That's what he said. And an ironic smile played on my face, while laughing hysterically.  
>"Why? Because I fainted? I didn't want to…" I tried but he stopped me.<p>

"He paled because you fainted, but he's upset because you apologized." His eyes cut through me, causing me to swallow dry.  
>"What the…"<p>

"You've been awake when we were talking. Not entirely. But you heard some. Aren't I right?" He commented while getting the third cigarette.

"Maybe…" I mumbled.

"So, you heard when I said that he's scared that you won't open your eyes just like the last one didn't open his?" His words were as clear as water. He was calm and collected. As if talking to a friend, however, in the back of my mind, I was thinking he's this calm because he has me in the palm of his hand right in this very moment.

'I admit he's good. He knew I was awake, so he probably told Sasuke that intentionally, and he's also a bit…sly."

"Look, I don't know who the last one is or whatever you're talking about." I conclusion, but it was a cheap trick and just because he choose to, he fell into it, on purpose.

"You don't know? When you've been to his funeral?"

_*'To look once again at Him, as he carefully places the body inside the hole, then stands and closes His eyes, as they all do, praying for the lost soul. The only one who didn't close His eyes, and didn't pray was in fact me, staring at Him, a bit far, but still in front of me. Staring at all of Him and talking with Him. With my entire being screaming out to Him, non-verbally communicating, and trying to reach Him and embrace Him with if possible, not my words, not my message, but with the warmth that I feel and the regret altogether because the message was simple, the words were too little and too insignificant for the huge real feeling, screaming for Him to hear, begging to Him, crying out to Him from my entire being: I'm sorry.'*_

"Now…this is by word normal…who's that guy? Everybody's talking about him." I told him, finally giving in to exasperation.

"We are the ones talking about him? Or you are the one who wants to talk about him?"

He asked me with a small smile, showing his almost white teeth, while the cigarette burned right in front of his lips.

And for one second, I stopped breathing.

"You're not asleep?" Sasuke came in just in that moment and in some way, he looked better. While I was sure that I'm the one pale. The doctor got up and took the suitcase I didn't even see until he took it.

"I have other things to do than to laze around with you brats. If anything happens…" The geezer spoke but he was completely turned to Sasuke, mostly, talking with him; both, ignoring me.

"Yeah, I know." Sasuke whispered as if they shared a secret. And if they did, I wasn't in the mood to ask anything anymore.

"Night brats." He said as he got out of the bedroom and closed the door after him.

"Wait, night, as in…" I started, but Sasuke took his shirt off and I stopped talking.

"As in almost morning." He continued.

So, the sun was setting when I fainted. So everything happened very fast, well, almost.

'How close does that guy live to us?' I scowled into my mind.

_*'Somehow, I didn't want to know how he can drive in this situation while he isn't looking at the road at all, but at me.'*_

'At how he's driving, I guess I shouldn't worry about that.'

He changed clothes, and almost jumped on the empty space beside me, which is at my left, which means I'm on his side of the bed. But I really didn't felt like moving and he didn't complain about it after all. But it seemed…weird to think that.

I watched him as he almost melted into the pillow and mattress and I really didn't wanted to admit he looks more than tired, the guilt just kept rising.

"Darn it." He swore, and got up from his place, walking to the closet. I couldn't help the wondering eyebrows at his words.

'He doesn't swear much…to not at all, so…'

"Raise your head." He warmly commanded as he helped me do so. Taking off my blouse, just then to realize that I didn't changed the dirty clothes from the training, and he swore because he was almost falling asleep to remind himself I didn't change my clothes and I don't feel prepared to get up yet.

Not that this was the first time he dressed me up. As I recall, he changed me almost every time.

"I really start to feel like a brat." I confessed with a sneer on my face as he forced the blouse on me.

"I'm confused; you've never been anything else, so when did you grow up after all?" He sustained the pleasant conversation as he took my pants off, and threw them on the ground.

"Ha ha. I'm in fact way more mature than you." I jubilated in my tone but felt nothing like it, but a small happiness that nothing changed. It felt…natural.

"Yeah? Then how come you're not even able to dress yourself?" He continued and smiled up at me as he finished putting my pants on and rose them up as best as he could at my waist.

"It's not my fault I'm injured." I mumbled and looked away from his fading smile.

"Then it's my fault?"

"No."

I answered a bit too fast, and I guess that's the only reason he didn't start to blame himself.

He almost jumped, for the second time, in my side of the bed, but this time, looking up and not at the pillow.

"Why did you faint?" He asked. With no taunt in his voice, with no reason, just pure curiosity.

"I'm…anemic." I answered though, I was sure that my anemia strikes just because of one reason which is the memory of a man I should've trusted in the past, a man whom kept me warm in the winter. A man who saved me. A man who haunts me.

"That's all?" He really looked at me this time. His face was still white. But his skin was never any other color. His black eyes were expressionless but calm nonetheless. And his lips were still, waiting.

"Yeah. Why?" I turned the spotlight to him; I was getting nervous all of a sudden. For the first time, feeling the need to tell the truth about my breakdowns. Which are manifesting in many ways, fainting, and the bath episode after drinking way too much wine and other …ways.

"I thought I scared you to death. " He said, simple.

I started laughing, but my head hurt immediately, so I stopped. With a small smile still present.

"You can't scare me. I was just…surprised."

"Surprised or disgusted?" He immediately bitterly retorted.  
>"Surprised!" I convincingly replied. Never once thinking that of him. 'But of me…'<p>

"Hn."

"Sasuke?"

"Yeah?"

"How old are you?"

"Twenty one, why?"

"Just asking."

'Why am I the youngest? You damn old geezer…'  
>He finally let his head on the pillow and in minutes, I could've sworn he fell asleep so deep that even if I screamed, he wouldn't have heard me. I didn't try, because today, I've also proven how sharp two ears can be.<p>

….

"God…" I moaned as I slowly got up, with a hand on my bandaged head. I couldn't see a thing. It was as dark as darkness can be. I touched every bit of the wall in front of me, searching for the handle for the bathroom. I wasn't ready to hit my head on anything.

'Sasuke must've forgotten to put some candles…' I thought in the back of my mind as I finally found the handle and got inside a bathroom enlightened only by a small candle. But it was enough. I unzipped my pants and finished quick; for I was even surprised I was peeing at all. I couldn't even remember when the last time I ate was. However, I wasn't thinking of food. All I wanted to do was to go back to bed.

I zipped my pants up and washed my hands with soap that smelt like aftershave and mint. Just to see my reflection in the mirror. It wasn't scary. The bandage embraced my entire head, and it wasn't that huge, the tip of my head was visible and hairs were getting out of it from everywhere. I didn't have the shortest hair after all, nor the longest either.

I hesitantly touched the bandage and tried to unglue the end, but I barely even started.

"Slept well?" The voice startled me, and I jumped a bit. Let my hands side by side of my body as a kid caught with his hand in the jar of cookies by its mother.

He came behind me, his reflection blinked behind my own reflection. And I really didn't know what he'll do. However, I wasn't afraid at all.

"I thought I couldn't scare you." His smirk was present in his words as his hands touched the bandage and slowly started doing what I was trying to do before he came.

"I wasn't scared. I was just…"  
>"Surprised." He continued, as he gently unwrap the bandage until nothing's left. He threw it in the sink in front of us, none of us moving, not even a centimeter. I was staring at him and then at me. At my head which looked…undamaged.<p>

He ruffled my hair. Making it look better because it was stuck in the position in which the bandage kept it. And it didn't hurt for him to touch my head. Though the buzzing was still there, present and annoying. The hair wasn't with blood, wasn't any different.

Noticing that I see nothing wrong, he adjusted me so that my right side is positioned to the mirror. He moved some hairs, and I could see what the hit did to my head. However, it didn't look severe; even if the light was dim, I wasn't a fool. The wound was clearly healing. It clearly looked worse when I got it. Now, it was cleaned and disinfected, treated until it looked bearable.

'Doesn't look like a doctor, but does his job like one.'

"By the way, you have some pills to take." He said as he played with my hairs. Still standing behind me.

"For how long?"

"Until your headache disappears completely." He explained as he finally released my hair, and I watched as he took the sole candle and entered the bedroom. I was left in the darkness for some seconds until I almost ran to him. Though, Sasuke advanced to the main room and soon enough, the whole place was filled with light. The electricity was working and that was the only good thing that happened in the past few hours.

"You hungry?" He inquired as he unlit the candles, and walked to what's supposed to be the kitchen, but which is also part of the huge main room.

"Starving." I replied as I sat down at the only wooden table, and watched him as he made all that he could find. As usual. When done, I had to choose from eggs with too many things beside them, a few quick-to-make pancakes, gem and Canadian maple, coffee and tea, not to mention, French toast with lots of butter. Sincerely, I was really surprised he's so skinny when he eats all of this. He's not fat at all, but the amount of food was really too much.

"There's no milk?" My words went on deaf ears as I searched through the stuffed fridge.

"You finished it yesterday, don't you remember?"

"Sorry. I just hit my head and that information must've slipped out."  
>"Very funny. Take your pills."<p>

I took something that had no description, and not even Sasuke knew the name of the pills but I took the risk.

'Anything to make the headache stop.'

We finished breakfast, which was supposed to be lunch. When we got outside, the soldiers were intensely training. However, at the sight of their King. They all lined up and saluted him and me, once again, stood on the wrong side of the line.

The training's been pretty easy on me. After all, no matter how much I wanted to get back to it, Sasuke forced me to sit down and just look and learn. I did and I really had no mood for training, never had after all, but I just wanted to see Sasuke convincing me and pushing me to stay put.

As if ordered, the training started early, it wasn't enough that we arrived at the middle of it, but the sun was still up and shining when all of the soldiers left.

We were on the stairs, going down, when the door where we just came from opened fast and alarmed, to see a sweaty huge soldier kneeling on the stairs in front of the King. I was curious, and a bit…out of place.

"My King, someone arrived in the Town and we have sources that say he's been spotted by the other army."  
>"Let's go, quick." He ordered in the King-mode voice, and just after taking some steps towards the exit door, he looked behind, at me.<p>

"Can I…?"  
>"No. You light the candles and turn off the electricity before you go to bed. Understood?" He told me, as the soldier looked more impatient by the second.<p>

"Yeah." I mumbled as I watched them both running to the door.

"Good night." Were his words before he closed the door…and locked it.

"Good night…" I said back, to nothing but the silence, which wasn't even a complete silence, for the buzzing returned. As if it was fueled by my anxiety.

I walked down carefully, not sure if I wanted to break my neck just yet. And walked straight into the kitchen, to find nothing that I desire. The food lost it's glow. Eating alone wasn't one of the things I liked, quite the contrary.

So I started searching in every cabinet, until I found one which was filled with liquor, but I closed it. And I did as I was told. I took the matches and lit every candle I saw, and then I turned off the electricity. Took a shower at the candle's light. Very romantic. If only I wouldn't have been all alone.

I changed my clothes, this time, I changed them myself. And I really jumped into the middle of the bed. Embraced the pillow and covered myself with the soft blankets.

I embraced the pillow tighter. I tossed and turned on every side, and then I did it again. Opened my eyes and closed my eyes. The buzzing was annoying me, and the silence was scaring me. The place was too dark. So I went to the main room. Took my blanket and my pillow with me. As I rested my entire body on the couch which was very comfortable. But nothing worked.

'I can't sleep.'

'_So I started searching in every cabinet, until I found one which was filled with liquor, but I closed it.'_

'Damn it.'

I got up from the couch and almost ran to the kitchen. Opened the doors of the cabinet and whistled.

"Hello dolly." I sweetly said, as I took a bottle of vodka just besides another bottle of weird wine.

I took one glass but didn't use it. And half a lime. I made myself comfortable on the couch. Drinking a little, drinking a little more.

Drinking until there was only a thin line of vodka, and no lime.

"Weird…I don't feel drunk at all."

I talked to the silence. As I set everything on the floor besides the couch.

I got up from the couch and made one step, two steps, and fell.

It was exactly like many years ago when I fainted in the middle of the central park. It was one of the hottest early afternoons I ever took part of in my entire life, and it was also the last time I ever walked on my own in a day when the sun almost blinds you. Aware or not, since then, I always feared the sun, even though, from my skin, from my eyes and even from a bit of my personality, you could tell that the sun adores me.

This time, I didn't lose conscious, but as sure as hell, couldn't get up.

To be continued…

**AN2: **Done. This chapter is beta'd by konakisen . So...I'd love to hear your opinions, this might not be the longest chapter but I sure enjoyed writing it.

Wondering of your opinions about who's the Doctor? Who's the dead guy? And who's just about to be rescued, or killed?

I sure raise a lot of questions…sorry but that's me.

Thank you for reading.


	12. Chapter 12:More or less

**AN1: **Hello, guess what, the story's going really well, I updated on time again, which is a miracle to me. The reason why I kept my promise (I never kept my promises because then I start to feel obliged, so I'm really surprised myself), is really because I finally got feedback, so I want to honesty and warmly thank the 'Guest' and vocaliodlover16 for their reviews! Made me really continue with a smile on my face and a bit more confidence in myself…

This chapter has been beta'd by konakisen.

So now, enjoy:

**From the previous chapter:**

_"Hello dolly." I sweetly said, as I took a bottle of vodka just besides another bottle of weird wine._

_I took one glass but didn't use it. And half a lime. I made myself comfortable on the couch. Drinking a little, drinking a little more._

_Drinking until there was only a thin line of vodka, and no lime._

_"Weird…I don't feel drunk at all."_

_I talked to the silence. As I set everything on the floor besides the couch._

_I got up from the couch and made one step, two steps, and fell._

_It was exactly like many years ago when I fainted in the middle of the central park. It was one of the hottest early afternoons I ever took part of in my entire life, and it was also the last time I ever walked on my own in a day when the sun almost blinds you. Aware or not, since then, I always feared the sun, even though, from my skin, from my eyes and even from a bit of my personality, you could tell that the sun adores me._

_This time, I didn't lose conscious, but as sure as hell, I couldn't get up._

**The actual (new) chapter:**

It didn't hurt. Though, I'm sure it looked painful. With my face flat on the floor…well, with my whole body flat on the floor, with my hands barely stretched to cushion the fall, but not much; my face looking at my left, but seeing nothing. For I wasn't shocked, but dizzy, no…attacked, after all…the flies returned. And this time, they were stronger.

Seconds, minutes, and then maybe a half an hour passed, I wasn't sure, but I was still on the floor, refusing to get up, and feeling unable to get up, concentrated, and attentive just deep within my mind which was so active, but so tired of fighting. But in fact, what was I fighting? Some invisible buzzing and annoying flies inside my mind? Or, the fact that I was actually waiting for him to get back home?

'But I'm not worried about him…' I convinced myself; as I almost connected my eyebrows in concentration, trying to form just one single comprehensible thought. It turned out to be a really painful process, with much effort but with no real success.

Chapter 12: More or less

For all I could muster was a war for my pride. Assuring myself that I wasn't staying awake for no one, and for sure, I wasn't capable of sleeping because of a little…insomnia. Nothing to do with him. In fact, I actually believed it while I thought I heard the door opening but it might only have been the wind colliding with the, in fact, locked door. Or my imagination's making fun of me, either way, it made me raise my head and look up.

Opening my eyes after a long time of keeping them closed, got my vision blurry and my head spinning. But I knew myself too well, not to put my head back for I wouldn't raise it up again until someone would come and get me off the floor, but as sure as hell, I won't fall asleep until someone will actually come.

I refused to even think about how much it annoyed me to be alone in someone else's house, or more likely scared me, suffocated me. If an underground house counts and it seems it does. Well, not even if I owned the palace, staying on my own with nothing to do and worse, waiting for someone to come when you don't know where they are and almost one hundred percent knowing that person won't come back, because it will get killed. Well…the dumbest thing to do would be staying awake instead of sleeping, making the waiting time triple than the choice to sleep until morning when everybody will be back.

And even dumber than dumb would be for me to pretend to get hungry and look around the house for something to get me occupied, and what can one do, but to get dead drunk by only one bottle of vodka! Though in my honest defense, it looked pretty expensive and the bottle hasn't been anything near small. Falling asleep after getting drunk, because I actually drank on the couch where I could've slept, would've been wiser but no. Instead, to get to the point of being ridicule, I got up from the couch and actually fell from how drunk I actually was. Guess staying still helps in reducing the effect of the alcohol.

I was up, on my own two clumsy legs but I still wasn't moving. Just staying up took enough energy and increased my headache, migraine, or whatever it was that brought the flies alive. I didn't count the minutes, so I really had no idea what hour it was and opening my eyes was the last of my reckless ideas. While one thought influenced the rest to get quiet and listen, even the buzzing silence with a level or two; didn't disappeared for one hundred percent though.

'Go after him.'

'How?'

'Spare key.'

As simple as that. A non-verbal and inexistent conversation between me, and oh…me. I admit, the alcohol pretty much covered the insanity which is having conversations in your own mind, but while being drunk, people change a bit, or a bit more. But what was the real craziness was that I was really considering what the conversation was about. The chance to have a spare key for the exit door really sounded… logical. Maybe, a bit unrealistic. For in the state I was in, moving and searching, or just only thinking of where that key could be. Well, it sounded absolutely …crazy.

Unfortunately for me, my head adjusted to my new position, so I opened my eyes. And looked around, searching with my eyes, but getting no idea, no clue, just like the only information I found out last time when I was completely sober and healthy, was a book which turned out not to be a 'secret book' , or mostly only just some unspoken secret. Well…only for me. Never mind me. I'm just the new guy! So hide everything!

"The heck…" I whispered so low that it was like I didn't talked at all. Even though, there's no one in the room to hear. Staying there, looking around with no thought, idea or plan irritated me. I was clueless.

'What's the chance for a spare key to exist anyway?' I asked myself, giving up on the idea.

'Maybe I should go to sleep already.' The thought was weak, for I was starting to feel ill all of sudden, weak and not so confident that I'll be able to stay up for too long.

So, I entered the bedroom, fell on the bed and closed my eyes. I was already feeling better.

Until the idea hit me. Like a bullet coming out of nowhere.

'What's the better place to keep a key when soldiers come in everyday, besides the bedroom…?'

'But where in the bedroom?'

'The closet is out of question; under the bed it's too childish, so…then…'

"…the nightstands?"

My subconscious complained, almost announced I was getting crazier by the second, talking with myself. Though, I wasn't really talking to myself out loud, but asked myself questions so I will actually think, and sober the numbness of my brain and ignore the song of the flies.

I moved a bit too fast, but I refused to get off the bed so I only advanced moving on the bed until the nightstand on his part of the bed was in reach of my arms. I took the whole drawer because if I wanted to see in there… I should have been an elastic man, which I wasn't. What surprised me was that it wasn't heavy at all, quite light. As I placed it before me on the bed and looked down on it to see some things: a book, some pencils, a lighter, a candle, some matches, and some pennies.

'No spare key.'

I was disappointed because this was the last bit left of my motivation for actually getting the spare key, but what I once did and succeeded, then, why would I succeed the second time?

So, I opened the book. This was no rare or suspicious book, instead, an ordinary book. Which was even more suspicious because he didn't have many 'ordinary books', and to also keep it in his nightstand, then it had to have something…special? And it really had, for when I put the book upside down, a small key fell down.

'Victory.' My mind exclaimed, but it didn't feel near that victory at all, for the road from the bedroom's bed and to the exit door felt long and heavy for my entire body. Too long for the state I was in. Just giving in, accepting to finally sleep, just one minute ago, made me embrace a sleepy mood and relax a little bit, and knowing that I won't do anything anymore and finally sleep. Until my subconscious decided to think again, and do what I wanted it to do before, so I…found the spare key.

But I didn't want it anymore.

In my tantrum, I almost threw it randomly in the room. But I stopped. Maybe it was because of the alcohol, or maybe because of the flies, and maybe because of the empty house. No matter why or how, I got up and walked straight to the door of the bedroom, and then to the stairs. I was shifting my pose from right to left, again and again; it was really hard to keep my balance because I had none. And like all that I've done until now was piece of cake. To see darkness that surrounded the stairs and how many of them actually were, now that I felt unable to just step on one of them…well, let's just say, I had the urge to just sit there and cry.

I felt like a baby, but of course. Even that would've been wiser. Instead, I just stepped on the first step, then the second. And even if dizzy and blind, for there was only darkness, I arrived at a safe place, even if a small space, but safe space just before the exit door.

So of course, taking a lighter, a lamp or just one candle never passed through my mind until I couldn't even find the keyhole. Again, I had no idea how much it took me. But in the back of my mind, I was sure that all my actions seemed to take longer, to be more painful, tiresome, for I was supposed to be recovering after hitting my head, losing conscious and now, drunk. My head lost its sanity for sure. But I wasn't giving up.

'I'm too stubborn…'

The key fit perfectly, and that was like the only good thing happening. Well…opening the door and almost falling on the ground from the pressure I put on the door, without even slightly realizing it, almost got me completely. I was about to fall again, but I held onto the door with all the power I had left. So, I finally got out the King's underground place.

When the irony hit me, like the time when I tried the impossible. That is to get inside the King's place, which in my mind should still be a castle, even if this King isn't like any of the ordinary and sane Kings. Not like I've meet any other King in my life.

The wind was having its dance, all over the place. All over the grass which had such a dark shade, maybe due to the tinted clouds flowing like waves above my dizzy head. However it was, I couldn't process what was happening with the nature. I felt the cold, but I didn't even think about stopping it. I felt the incoherent thoughts that told me to go back, but I didn't even try to stop my legs from walking ahead, into the woods.

I was sickly walking towards nowhere, and stumbling and falling, getting up without bothering to clean my clothes. I didn't even have any idea of what clothes I was wearing. Didn't even have any idea where I was in fact going. All I kept thinking of was that I had to get to Sasuke. But I knew, inside, I was absolutely content with the fact that he won't be ten feet in front of me, not even twenty, not even a hundred. I wasn't stupid, I knew that they used the cars to rescue, well, at least when he rescued me, and I heard a car's sound when he let the door open a bit to say good night to me.

'This is anything, but not a good night for me.' I thought and I realized that my head felt a bit lighter. Maybe because of the clear cold air, but I also felt pale and sweaty. Felt a light fever covering me, and I thought it was my body protecting me from the cold, but I somehow knew it had nothing to do with it. My body was already trying to recover a clear state of mind from hitting my head, and to sober me, after all the vodka I drank. I was a healthy man. I always was, in my entire life, but when I get sick, I get really ill. I stay up until I can't, but fall. I hate feeling ill, because…it reminds me of him.

My steps carried me far. Far away from safety, far away from warmth, and far away from him; while in my mind, I was getting closer to him. My clumsy steps carried me deeper into the woods, so deep, that I couldn't even see the familiar space of the forest, the familiar rocks we often sat on after practice, the familiar entrance to the underground house of the King. Even…from myself.

The trees got higher and higher, until I couldn't see their crown. Couldn't see the forest, for I could only see the trees. The darkness was abundant, flowing in waves from the shadows of every tree, rock, plant and animal. I didn't even realized how cold the air got until I could see my breath lingering in the air as if it was December. In fact, I wasn't even sure what month I was in. What day, what hour and what minute. The moonlight was my only light.

For a second I thought that maybe ordinary rules don't even apply in this world. It's been a town with no nature in it, and then, it's been a whole dessert, and now, a forest. The sun shone brightly but it was like it's never there, its rays never affect the clouds, they never have any color. The stars are many and the moon is powerful, but still…it's like the night is stronger.

Today and yesterday's been quite warm, sunny, with not even one single cloud, but now.

"It's snowing." I said to myself and to the darkness around me as I caught a snowflake in my bare palm. After all, the clouds were those for winter, even the temperature was cold enough to create snow. It was like…

'From summer to winter?' I asked myself or maybe, my subconscious did because my headache was already a constant pain, it wasn't numb but I already got used to it. As if the cold froze it to be forever there, along with my whole body that became an open wound, letting the cold get within.

Freeze my flesh, freeze my bones, freeze my blood, and freeze my veins. Freeze my legs, freeze my arms, freeze my head, and freeze my butt. Freeze my voice, freeze my breath, freeze my senses, and freeze my heart.

That's what I felt when I sat down on the icy ground, already covered with a bit of snow. With my legs at my chest, embracing them, trying to hold any warmth in, but there was none. I was mostly protecting myself from what was happening, more than having any logic in what I was doing.

I rested my head against my knees, and held it there. With my blue eyes closed. For I wanted to block anything else away, but I couldn't, because I still felt the cold air, still felt the snowflakes quietly sitting and melting on me and all around me, I could still feel and hear, but only the snow, just the snow alone, of the memory.

Couldn't even feel the burning tears sliding down my cheeks, and what was worse, in fact, was that not only once, have I thought of going back. Because I was sure, I had no place to return to. Just like in that winter.

*'_I can't even remember how old I was but what I know for sure, I used to have a pretty normal life. I had a father and a mother. I was their only child. We had a beautiful house, well…a huge house. In which, I sometimes got lost. But I adored it, for it was ours._

_I knew my parents loved me for they showed it every single day since I was born. They kept me away from other people, so I didn't talk to many people, but them. But I really didn't want to, since, I was really young and nothing besides playing bothered me._

_Everything was in order, nothing ever happened and my only job was to grow. Until the day when something…out of the ordinary finally happened, and what really hit me in that moment and later in my life, years that were yet to come, which of course at that time I knew nothing about was that I actually prayed and wished for something to happen. I was always in my room and no one ever came but my parents. Of course I loved them, but I was so lonely when they weren't there. The question that if my selfish wish and pray killed my parents has never been answered. And the guilt never disappeared._

_Though, I was prepared to die in that night. And even years later, I was still prepared to die for that night, so, I wouldn't have been the only savior._

_Well, not the only savior, it was me, and the man who saved me._

_My parents told me about this man. I remember it. For it was the only time they ever talked about someone else. They said that there's a man who'll be my savior in a certain situation._

"_What certain situation?" I asked, and this is the answer I got:  
>"You'll realize when that time will come. What you must do is promise us that you'll stay with him until the end of winter? Promise us, Naruto."<em>

"_I promise."_

_First, it was a deafening sound, the song of a noisy alarm playing on and on. I was never able to forget that sound._

_Then, the explosions. I was pretty sure some bombs were involved. I never found out what those were but they exploded and had all kind of effects. Mostly…fire._

_Which started immediately after a few songs of the alarm, the first bomb I heard; and right after the first one and the sound of something burning, the smell of it, and a man came in and took my hand. It was the first time I ever saw him in my entire life; so of course, I started asking all kinds of questions._

_I was still young, and even scared of what was happening, because of course, something bad was happening. Still, I couldn't even remember the last time I talked to anybody but my mother and father. I tried to be nice, never asked them why they keep me away from other people. Was there…something wrong with me?_

"_Who are you?!" I yelled and asked as I ran down the stairs, for he was dragging me after him. My wrist hurt, my eyes and nose were burning from the smoke all around the air, from the pressure of it. Within, I knew the place was burning down, but, something for once was happening in my life, so…I was a bit selfish back then._

"_Your savior." This was his answer and his first words, as he continued to run._

_I still remember all the people that were inside the house. All the people that walked on the same floor I walked, touched the same walls, and breathed the same air. In my house. A house I wasn't even allowed to stay in. Guess I was only allowed to do that when nobody was around. Because now, it was crowded._

_I could tell many of them were butlers and maids. Their clothes made it obvious. But I still never saw any of them, and I wasn't that young. I lived in this house for my entire life. Still, I knew nothing about it. I knew nothing about anything, but my name._

_He continued to run and to hold me by my hand, too tightly, forcing me to run with him. When we got out, the house was really falling apart. And even when we were very far away from the house, I could still see the smoke._

_Oh, did I mention that it was winter?_

_Maybe December._

_Still, none of that mattered to me in that second. For it was a long time since I've been outside too. But the place burned down in front of my face and I could hear people screaming, burning, being crushed, and just…killed inside my home._

_We watched it._

_My hand was still in his hand. As we watched the fire, smelt the smoke, and heard the screams._

_When he turned around, prepared to leave. I couldn't help but ask._

"_My parents? Where are…" I started.  
>"They'll come later."<em>

_Days passed by. Traveling was hard, for a person who never traveled. I would've enjoyed it more if I wouldn't have caught a cold. The fever took over my mind, and I was tired all the time. So while traveling across the country, all I did, was sleep in the lap of a stranger. Pardon, my…savior._

_So, it was like a blink of an eye. Just when we were closer to our destination, I got better._

_We weren't the best of friends when we were almost at the end of our trip. But he took care of me. Doctors consulted me, prescribed medicines that needed to be taken at certain hours. I never even bothered about it. He always woke me up to give me a pill, or food._

_I was in heaven and in hell altogether._

_I actually felt grateful for the treatment I was receiving. After all, he was a complete stranger for me, and so I was to him._

_He said he just needed to get me safe. After we escaped the sinking ship which once has been my home._

_But I was sure, at that time that he wasn't supposed to keep me healthy. Of course, the doctors said it was a pretty dangerous disease, the cold I had but, I wouldn't have died from it…no?_

_When we arrived, I was a bit taken aback by the sudden change. From the huge house, to a small cabana. Well…it was…different and new. Like everything around me. Still, I didn't say a thing. I was too grateful to my hero._

_The cabana still wasn't very comfy even after living in it for several days. The wood was too heavy to carry, and when it was night, it seemed almost useless. The food wasn't better, but at least it existed. And there was only one bed. One toilet, one sink and one bath._

_However, our relationship increased. For we were the only ones there. Because there was no other house around us, not even one human, maybe some animals._

_Even so, asking about my parents was something I did daily. Until one day, when everything changed. Everything I saw around changed, everything I ever thought changed, everything I felt changed, and everything I was…changed._

"_It's still too cold." I complained as I added some wood to the fireplace._

"_It's night and it's snowing. Get used to it already." He said._

'_I don't want to get used to it.' I quietly thought._

"_But we cut wood all day! And this thing doesn't even works." I almost yelled in frustration while pointing out at the fireplace._

_He made the steps which parted us and closed the distance with a smile dancing on his lips at my childish complaint. Or that was…what I thought then._

"_You're tired? I'm sure you are. Let me help you get undressed Naruto." The man said as he slid his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him. Despite his actions, he indeed took off my shirt but while staying too close to him. I didn't say a word. I was too scared. But then he took off my pants and my boxers too and I felt a bit shy in my nudity, but I was also too scared to ask him to stop, because I wanted those cloths. But as stubborn as I always was since birth, I told him what bothered me:_

_"I'm cold." I complained and at this, he smiled a smile so mean that I couldn't help but want to walk away and never look at him again. A smile I didn't like but had to trust. The man who saved me. I had to trust him even when he touched my nipples and then spread my legs while saying with the same smile on his face: 'I'll help you get warm.'_

_But I still had to trust him because I promised, promised I will. At least until winter ended. And I did, but never been the same again. Never trusted anybody again. Just because trusting someone weighed too heavy a price, all the pain and the humiliating pleasure, a scar that never faded away not even when the sun was strong again._

_The reason why I hated the sun and winter altogether was simple. I hated the snow for it was snowing when my innocence and my old self were stolen away. I knew that, saw that, felt that. As I was taken from behind, but I was still looking at the large window as it snowed and snowed, endlessly._

_The purity of the snow. I now, compared it to nails buried into white sheets and my own screaming echoing in the walls, in the dead of the night, in the middle of nowhere. His nails in my waist and back, his teeth in my skin, and even the slaps. For I wanted to get away but I gave up halfway. To cry while looking at the clear wide window. As it…snowed._

_After that, I still childishly or insanely hoped that everything will go back to normal. That my parents will come back when the house will be reconstructed and that I'll return to my room. So…childish._

_Nothing returned to normal, instead. Everything changed. And that was what I feared the most._

_As the days were long and longer were the nights. That repeated and repeated. The rape repeated and repeated. Never stopping._

_The day passed me by, because all I could do was sleep from exhaustion. And in the night...well, you had it all figured out._

_I tried to protect myself. I swear. I tried to make myself to enjoy it. But I couldn't. He wasn't an ugly man, by far. He was a beautiful one. Almost as handsome as my father. But still….it wasn't his appearance that haunted me the most. But his touch, his breath, his voice and his …death._

_I hated the sun for I waited for it. With every fiber of my body. It was the only hope I had left. For my parents promised me that at the end of the winter, they'll come and I wouldn't have to trust my savior; I wouldn't have to be saved anymore._

_But when the sun rose, I was left with no hope._

_The snow melted and the winter ended too. I was sure of it._

_He never gave me a present for Christmas._

_Still, my parents weren't back. So I…wasn't back. And I wasn't going to be back ever again._

_I waited and waited. Until I couldn't even sleep anymore. Afraid that they'll come and that the man will lie that I wasn't here._

_Indeed. Someone did come. But not my parents._

_He was cutting tress a bit far from the house. And the man who came was one line any other. A man who heard rumors of someone living in an abandoned cabana. That once, was owned by someone important, or insane. I never found out which one._

_I couldn't let the chance slip away._

_So, I let him in, heard what he had to say and then, I used up my last chance for living._

_And I won._

_More…or less._

"_He forced you to stay here?"_

"_Not really… please, can you just get me away from here?"_

"_Maybe he's the one the folks been talking about, he's insane."_

_I don't know if he was a cop, I don't even know if he was right but I also feel responsible for his life._

_The man killed my savior._

_Don't know why, didn't hear a thing but saw him lying senseless on the ground before I left to the city._

_I never returned._

_I unconsciously refused to read any paper, any data referred to the great fire which almost burned everything that was around the only actually targeted house._

_I never looked back._

_I've always been a curious person. But only concerning others. I never wanted to find out about my past. For, maybe, just maybe, I was searching into other people's past because I didn't want to search into my own._

_However, I got a job and lived with a family which barely acknowledged me as a human being or as…an existent person. But still, they gave me food and a bed. I never bothered them, also, never loved them._

_At the age of 18, I left the house and moved on my own. Studying so I can go to a bigger city, so I can live on my own and with nobody to tell me what to do._

_It didn't work out._

_When I finished almost everything I had to do, I decided to leave. Anywhere. I was too close to my past. Inside, I hated it._

_Nobody I knew agreed. So, going to this city was like running from home. Just that, there was no one home. I was out of anybody's life. I was on my own._

_In a world that wasn't normal. But I didn't mind. I wasn't normal either.'*_

Freeze my flesh, freeze my bones, freeze my blood, and freeze my veins. Freeze my legs, freeze my arms, freeze my head, and freeze my butt. Freeze my voice, freeze my breath, freeze my senses, and freeze my heart.

And I was frozen.

To be continued…

Chapter 12…wow… can't believe it. Made it just in time. Just a bit late. What I really can't believe is that I reveal stuff to bring other stuff that's to get revealed…a bit too much suspension? Maybe but hey, the story practically asks for it, I mean, he's not from that place and everybody's so secretive and in their own world while in this 'underwater' world. Yeah yeah, I love rambling, next time. Next Friday.


	13. Chapter 13:Black and white

**AN1:** Hey, another Friday chapter. Wrote it yesterday actually which is quite funny, wrote chapter 13 on 13 September…yeah, creepy, I'll try and not think about it.

**Answering reviews:** First, thank you 'Guest' for your review, and your constant reviews, I always look forward to what you'll say and what you say is really true, it was a glimpse of it for sure but there's more to come as you probably realized already, the details mean much more than just the glimpse I showed, so the details will come…one day. You can share your theories with me with no hesitation, I'm really curious of it. And I promise to keep it up, won't stop!

Second, Emerald-Eyed Soul, thank you very much for your review, I'm glad you like the nature descriptions as much as I do because there will be more of them to come in this chapter, I have this thing for colliding nature with feelings and the past and the present, yeah…rambling again. And I think I'll really get you annoyed by telling you that all we had until now is just the surface of the water, it's a long way to go for sinking underwater, hope you'll stick with me though. The Sasuke until now keeps changing his mood, it's a bit funny but still with suspense, at least that's how it seems for me, but I have plans for him, however, if you have any suggestions on him or anything, please don't hesitate to tell me.

Hope I won't disappoint anybody.

So….enough, reading time:

**From the previous chapter:**

_With my legs at my chest, embracing them, trying to hold any warmth in, but there was none. I was mostly protecting myself from what was happening, more than having any logic in what I was doing._

_I rested my head against my knees, and held it there. With my blue eyes closed. For I wanted to block anything else away, but I couldn't, because I still felt the cold air, still felt the snowflakes quietly sitting and melting on me and all around me, I could still feel and hear, but only the snow, just the snow alone, of the memory._

_Couldn't even feel the burning tears sliding down my cheeks, and what was worse, in fact, was that not only once, have I thought of going back. Because I was sure, I had no place to return to. Just like in that winter._

_Freeze my flesh, freeze my bones, freeze my blood, and freeze my veins. Freeze my legs, freeze my arms, freeze my head, and freeze my butt. Freeze my voice, freeze my breath, freeze my senses, and freeze my heart._

_And I was frozen._

**The actual (new) chapter:**

The sky was a painting of black and white.

The background of the painting was represented by heavy black clouds which sustained the white snowflakes, just like they were ornaments attached to the sad heavens. While I usually thought the sky was a mixture of many other colors combined into the celestial sphere, creating one unique piece of art in every second of every single day.

But not tonight, and not in the place I was standing where the time stood still and waited. Waited for me to give my last breath in the frigid air. So, I was receiving all of the anger and the sorrow that was above my head, a head like any other from this planet. However, I had to be the one who witnessed this spectacle, a dark miracle of the nature.

Well, me and him.

Chapter 13: Black and white

A normal person would've got scared. At least a little bit. Because you don't meet a cat, with greenish yellow eyes in the middle of a forest, while it's snowing, every day, to no day at all. But the cat didn't get scared of me, and for a reason I couldn't understand, still blamed the reason on my metal state in that moment, because I also wasn't scared of the cat.

At first, I didn't even notice its existence, until I felt its tiny black nose on my cold cheek. I didn't acknowledge it, not even then, just when I felt its small tongue licking my tears; I opened my eyes after a long time of keeping them closed.

Felt like a long time because it took me some good seconds to get used to the darkness and light altogether, not to mention, the snow which silently settled on the earth around me. Prof that time didn't stand still, as I felt it did, as I stood still myself. Nonetheless, the rays of the moon were the only light in the whole forest, even when covered by the clouds, it still strongly shone through them. Without it, I would've been covered in darkness. The sun refused to show its face though, because it was still night, so too much time didn't pass after all.

Looking in the eyes of the cat, I felt no fear, no emotion whatsoever, only content that the cat was beside me. Watching me, pointing at me, and breathing in me. It might've seemed normal for me that the cat was there, in that moment, in the dead of the night and of the forest, though it didn't look like any ordinary cat, but realization soon washed away my numbness when the eyes of the cat seemed to speak to me. But only for a second.

"Naruto!"

I heard my name being called and in instinct, I looked up to what I thought would be the direction from where the voice called. And after a moment or two, or maybe entire minutes, I noticed a glimpse of artificial light coming from the black blanket of the forest and of its high old trees. Also, in some unknown instinct, I looked at my right where the pale sandy-yellow cat was, or used to be because it wasn't there anymore. Nothing was. There was not even one paw in the freshly collected snow as evidence that the cat had ever been there.

"Where are you?!" I heard the voice screaming again. And this time, it seemed to be nearer than the last time I heard it.

'I'm here…' I thought, but no word left my lips. I couldn't move even if I wanted to. Still, in the back of my mind I told myself that it would be wiser to get up or make a sign, a sound, so they won't go in the wrong direction, leaving me there. When I tried to say a word, again, I only succeeded to part my lips, my frozen lips. Tears threatened to come out from my eyes at how helpless I felt. Unable to move or talk. Unable to do anything but slowly die. Nothing else.

I let my head fall back between my knees, giving up when I saw the artificial light heading in the opposite direction of where I was staying. I almost broke down.

"Naruto!"

The second time when I heard my name being called by the same voice, which called my name the first time too was a familiar voice, of a man, which wasn't desperately screaming, wondering where I was, but demanding for me to show where I was, and in instinct, I looked up.

Warm tears slid down my white cheeks at the recognition, which wasn't even in my brain, but in my whole being. Already feeling the warmth of a body that I knew too well, right ahead, at too many steps ahead of me to even count, or to even see.

'Sasuke...' My mind said.

"Sa..." My hushed voice said as my tears moistened my damp lips.

"Naruto!" His voice demanded for the third time for me to answer him. To show myself.

Tears continued to fall, and I slowly started to tremble, just now feeling how cold I was, but that only proved that I wasn't frozen anymore, my insides functioned once again.

"Sasu…!" My voice was broken, in a tone too low to be heard. But when I thought I saw the artificial light going in the wrong direction and further than it was already… it took me all the strength I had left to scream.

"Nar…"

"Sasuke!" I couldn't hear the last letters which completed my name because I yelled louder than him, louder than the silence, and louder than the darkness. Only once, but it was enough.

Loud enough to be heard.

No voice called my name anymore, instead, I heard steps running, closer and closer to me, and the artificial light was pointed in my direction this time. And at how proud I felt of myself inside, I would've smiled but I couldn't. Tears never stopped flowing and the trembling only accelerated until I felt sick. Well, not sick enough because I still could recognize the face of the man who kneeled in front of me, touching my cheeks with his pale hands.

It was blurry. But it was happening right in front of me.

Familiar arms embraced me, lifted me off the snow covered ground, and held me close to his chest. Something warm, which I supposed was a blanket, covered me whole, leaving just my hands which embraced his neck outside, and my head resting just under his chin.

He continued walking and walking, but in this entire time, all I did was to listen to his heartbeat, while absorbing the warmth of his body and smelling his perfume.

"The car isn't far, my King…" I heard another voice of a man talking, and I instantly thought it was the voice of a soldier which also earlier came to take him away from me. Though, Sasuke didn't say a word, I felt him nod his head in response.

Soon enough, or soon enough for me because I couldn't get enough of his heartbeat, his warmth and his smell, I was forced to let go of his neck but I didn't approved it, held my hands there, though I didn't even open my eyes to see who was forcing me to let go.

"We can't get inside in this position, I'll put you down and then I'll get inside with you, okay?"

I heard him whispering against my ear and with a hesitation I didn't even mentally acknowledge, let go of his neck and let myself be put on something which I thought of as the couch of a car. A door closed, for another to be opened. And my head was lifted to be placed on something that I recognized as Sasuke's lap.

I half opened my eyes to see if I was right and indeed, I was. His black eyes were locked with my blue ones, while his right hand played with my hair and his left hand held my own, reassuring me of his presence and attention.

"Are you hurt?" He whispered, with pure concern in his voice. Not demanding my answer anymore.

Words still felt too heavy to be formed by my mouth. Still, all I did was to shake my head from left to right, responding with a non-verbal, no. For a second, I thought I saw his facial muscles relax after my answer, even a barely audible sigh of relief, however, I was almost sure he didn't even realize his own reaction which was almost invisible to the naked eye.

Not even knowing why, my eyes felt more comfortable to the darkness of the car. There was no wind, just like outside, but the air wasn't as cold, and I didn't feel as desperate as I felt when I was outside. Maybe because I knew I was on my way home, maybe because someone came and took me from there; or maybe because it was Sasuke who saved me. After all, I refused to even think about the small embarrassment which happened only minutes ago when I refused to stay with someone else but Sasuke, for only a second.

"I'm…" I tried even though my voice was still broken, and Sasuke covered my lips with his hand in the instant when he realized what I was about to say.

'…sorry' I continued in my mind as a tear made its existence known for the last time that night, as I also felt warm lips touching my cold forehead. Maybe if the situation would be more ordinary, he'd be cold, and I'd be warm, but it seems even the temperature of your body was reversed, since I almost froze to death, and his blood felt to be boiling underneath his porcelain skin. However, his kiss on my forehead made me close my eyes and relax, give in to his warmth and comfort offered to me.

The touch of his lips lingered on my forehead. He continued to keep his lips above it, breathing on it, as his hands were reassuring themselves that I'm beside him, his body underneath his, breathing, holding me like he was the one who's not fine, not me. But I didn't mind. I was already feeling better just because he was also reassuring me that he's the one holding me, beside me, above me, breathing.

'Cause maybe, just maybe…

'I've been worried about him too…'

That's what I was thinking when his lips lingered on my own lips, breathing on my lips, just above. I didn't mind. Our lips never touched, but I knew that he won't force himself on me anymore, he was only showing me what he felt, and this time, I was sure he won't close that distance anymore, at least, not without my approval.

All I had to do was to put a bit strength in the hand that was already on the back of his head, in his raven hair, just to pull the head a bit closer to mine, and we'd kiss. All I had to do was to push myself up a little bit, a bit closer to him, just a bit up, and we'd kiss.

But for a reason I can't explain to myself, I didn't.

And for another reason that I didn't understand, I didn't find the idea disgusting.

The car stopped.

"We arrived." The man who drove us through the darkness of the forest casually said. Not even looking at us. Well, I couldn't even look at him if I wanted to, even though I didn't want to, I was still embraced by Sasuke in every possible way.

As if scared of the outside world, my eyes half-closed themselves as I was carried once again in his arms. The soldier opened the door to our underground home. The stairs were still covered in darkness, no one turned the light on and that bothered me enough to close my eyes completely. The darkness inside my mind feeling more comfortable than the one from the real world, though I could still feel Sasuke's movements as he carried me down the stairs, every single step making me jump a little in his arms.

Just in that moment, I could think a little bit: 'Why am I letting him carry me like I'm his damn bride?' I asked myself and my eye twitched a bit at the question, but remained unanswered and without any real reaction from my part.

I opened my eyes just when I felt the bed underneath me. Immediately recognizing the smell of his room, the warmth of it, and the comfortable mattress; even the obscurity of the room felt just fine with me as he changed his own clothes in front of me and then started to change my own. Again. But I didn't complain, it finally felt like…home.

I couldn't but notice that while he changed me, he also checked my body, his eyes were too attentive. At first, I thought he was checking me out, I even wanted to make a joke about it, even in the state I was in, breaking the ice, but I didn't, 'cause his eyes were too focused, analyzing every part of my easily expose-able skin.

The clothes were warm, and clean. The blankets were warm, and clean.

And when he stood beside me, embracing me, I was in heaven.

I had no idea what time it was when I woke up, what day, or even where I was anymore. When my mind was sober enough to think, my eyes weren't prepared though. So I just stood there, trying to realize where I was. But even after too many minutes, I still had no idea; all I knew was that I was in his arms.

And that's all I needed to know.

I fell asleep many times, but I refused to completely wake up. However, he woke me up in the end. Quite gently, I might add. He caressed my cheeks until I felt his hand while in my deep sleep, while whispering my name in his sweetest voice, and saying that I have to wake up to at least eat. Opening my eyes took me more than opening my mind.

He carried me in the bridal-style again, but I was almost asleep so I still didn't complain. The only sound that I could muster was when he let me on the hard wooden chair from the kitchen even though the blanket was on me and under me, like a cocoon, protecting me. Just then, I realized he woke up before he woke me up, and left me alone in the bed because a home-made soup was set right in front of me.

He took the spoon before I did and he started to feed me like a three year old child. I scowled at this, because I already felt too spoiled and that really was the last drop from the glass. So, I took the spoon from his hand, maneuvering it like I normally do, but after two times of putting the spoon in the soup and bringing it to my mouth, my hand started shaking. As if we were still outside, the slight coldness of the room made me tremble, so I almost threw the spoon back in the bowl of soup as I embraced myself with the blanket that was all around me.

He watched me silently as I did all this, and at the end of my stubborn try to feed myself, he calmly took the spoon from the bowl, where I left it, and spoiled me a bit more. It didn't mean I had to like it, but I didn't hate it either.

In the end, he fed me like a three year old child.

He carried me back to bed and asked me if I wanted to take a bath. I shook my head once again, telling him no. And when he wanted to get off the bed, I couldn't stop the hand which reached out to him, grabbing his blouse.

I knew that I was blushing at the second when I realized what I was doing. Because this time, I was wide awake, not like the time when I refused to stay alone for a second before Sasuke will be able to reach the other door of the car to get in. Still, he smirked. A bit too satisfied if you ask me, but so was I when he sat down and put himself under the blankets with me, embracing me.

I felt childish and I was hardly considering what he felt in this entire time. Nonetheless, sleep didn't come as fast as I expected. And my eyes continued to watch his also open eyes, watching me, while I found my voice when I expected less.

"I'm sorry."

This time, I said it and I didn't felt as ashamed as I thought I would be the last time I wanted to say these words. But this time, I had to do it. As selfish as it was.

"For what? " He asked, as if nothing happened.

I thought from his point of view for the first time after all the finished events, and I really considered his question.

'Sorry for what? Indeed…sorry for getting drunk and running in the woods…sorry for being worried about you…sorry for leading you on while knowing that you want me more than you'd show…sorry I hit my head by a rock when you forced me to kiss you…sorry… for what?'

"Why do you keep apologizing?" He asked, exhausted, sighing but with his eyes still on me, with his hands still on me.

"I called your name when the soldier was around."

The explanation came out of nowhere. I didn't even think about it before. But I guess my subconscious did, and while I thought back, I indeed called his name when the soldier was close enough to hear, hell, the soldier might've been even closer than Sasuke because he was the one with the flashlight, even though Sasuke arrived first, then…

'He ran so fast that he arrived first?'

"You're forgiven." He let it out as if it was nothing. And he just underlined his point when he kissed my forehead in a protective way.

"You were…worried?" I hesitantly asked him, and I almost closed my eyes, because I mentally prepared myself for him to yell at me for even thinking such a thing but no tantrum came, no pun made.

"Yes." His lone word echoed around the room. And I had to blink twice to make sure I wasn't dreaming or hearing things.

"Why did you run away?" His question was even more hesitant, just a little bit above a whisper.

But I was also a bit mad when I finished the dissection of his question.

'He thought I ran away?' I asked myself, but then…it must've looked that way? After all, I tried and found the key to the entrance, then got into the woods, quite far if I might add, and almost died, while it was clear that the weather isn't so good, I still preferred to stay outside in the snow than stay in his warm underground house. Well, it sure looked like that, but it wasn't like that at all, because that wasn't what I intended to do. However, I first really considered saying that I wanted to go home or something…But it seems that almost dying and being saved for the second time by the same person made me consider and also…say…the truth.

Thinking: 'Embarrassing truth time' for the second time with the same person…well…it hurt a bit.

"I was also worried… I was trying to…find…you." I almost shuttered but in the end, all I did was to stop word after word. I watched him changing his position, looking with confusion or what looked like, amazement in his expression and eyes.

"You're…kidding…?" He tried asking but I already started shaking my head from left to right and just to make sure he understood what I also told him. Convincing myself that he was thinking that I was joking about the finding part; and not the worried part.

"No. I'm not."

He was stunned. His eyes were wide open and even his lips were slightly parted in shock.

"Why you would even think I'd run away is the mystery itself." I told him, and just then, his expression changed and he back downed in defense, just a bit, but I saw it.

"Well, you got out the only time when I wasn't around since you became part of my army…"

It all clicked together…and so, I was really mad this time.

_*' "Why do you hate him?" I inquired as he stared at me once again with big, warm black eyes._

_"He betrayed me. Now that you know, you can make sure you won't do the same mistake he did, no?" He almost asked me, and I was taken aback by the sudden change of topic.'*_

"You thought I was going to share information to the enemy or something like that?!" I screamed and even the action itself hurt. I let myself relax into the pillow again, closing my eyes, because I already felt a headache coming. I was afraid the flies will come back again for a second, but they didn't. Not now.

"No. I didn't. The soldier suggested it, but you can't blame him." He defended himself again, or the soldier, or both. And for once I thought that what I was saying really got through his thick head which felt really invigorating for me, if only I wouldn't have been really angry.

"Why can't I blame him? Come again…" I mumbled while still trying to calm myself down, but when his answer didn't come, I opened my eyes to look at him but he wasn't looking at me anymore, but ahead, with wondering eyes and lost features colliding with the shadows of the half-lit room.

"The dead guy ran away and betrayed you?" I tried joking but after that, and a small forced smile of my own, he finally looked at me with eyes that told me that I got it right.

'Shit.'

"Okay. Would you guys stop comparing me with the dead guy already? I'm not him. Okay?!" I said, well, almost yelled if only it wouldn't hurt to do so. I was really getting frustrated. The only time they talked about me it was to also talk about the dead guy. It seemed that everybody wanted for me to take his place. But I sure as hell wasn't copying or replacing anybody.

"I know you're not him. I'm glad you're not him." His words were cold, and confident. His eyes were icy and distant. They forced me to look away; I refused to meet his intense gaze. I let myself back on the pillow, didn't even know when I got up from it and faced the other way, looking at the wall, while I knew he also let himself on the bed again, right behind me.

Silence embraced everything around, until, after seconds, or minutes, I felt his arms around me once again.

In the middle of the night, or in the middle of the day. I wasn't sure which one. I woke up. Just me. He was still sleeping soundly and calmly. I turned around and looked at his relaxed posture and I started touching his cheeks with no reason. I didn't want to wake him up though, so I just barely and lightly caressed them.

Even after staying one whole day with him, sleeping and eating, talking and sleeping, it still didn't feel real. I really didn't want to recognize it myself. But I've been worried sick, just like a mother is worried for her child. Though, one would say it's the other way around since I've been nothing but a kid for him these days, and he treated me like one, putting himself in the role of the mother.

However, I let it all sink in just in that moment of silence and for once in my life; I was content with what I was feeling. I was no longer hiding it from my own self, maybe a bit from him and a bit more, to everything, from the rest of the world, but not from me.

I couldn't help but recall what happened and now, thinking about it with a clear head. A filled stomach, a warm body and a certain someone sleeping beside me, I realized that the only person that I wanted to save me in that moment was him.

In my confused mind, I was actually confusing what has happened with the snow in my past, when it was also snowing, and I thought about how it would have been for Sasuke to save me back then? Would things be different for me? Would things be different for him, too?

The present would've changed? Would it all be any better, or any worse?  
>I had no answer even now, in the moment when it all passed, happened and been.<p>

But it didn't matter. For I fell asleep once again, while thinking that it really didn't matter if all that pain from winter made me this happy in the present. Brought me right in that very moment, just before I fell asleep beside him.

And this time, I dreamt, and I saw what I was dreaming for only a second, but it was enough to remember it even when I woke up:

_My voice, was far…too far… the ground, was…far, under…_

_"I thought….I thought…" Tears and quick heartbeats. "I thought…" Sweaty and cold._

_Trembling, until I lost connection with reality. Until, I only saw nothing._

_'I thought…'_

Dark_. It was too dark to see a thing. No structure, no color, no smell, no sound; because there's nothing to touch, nothing to feel, just void and null, just blankness and vacancy, just like...a desert of darkness._

_'If only…you'd be my light.'_

And my light, you've been.

To be continued…

**AN2: **Done. Not as long as other chapters, but not as short either. I just felt that it had to end everything there. It's been rough at the beginning of the chapter, then it all comes soft and turns into the ordinary. Still, I guess I only raised questions with this chapter, not answering much. However, it was all needed. This is the type of chapter which is in between. The next will have more…action. After all, there's been too much staying in bed and feeling sick, don't you think?  
>Thank you very much for reading, see you next Friday.<p>

PS: My beta is an extraordinary hard-working one. Name: konakisen, as you know, so, say hello and thank you. I will surely say one hundred thanks from now on, as I did until now.


	14. Chapter 14:Shadows

**AN1: **Hey, it's been a week, so I want to honestly apologize for not posting this chapter earlier in the week, and just when Friday arrived, but I have pretty much the same excuse which is, having a cold. Which only got worse since last time, the past week's been hell for my head, couldn't even think, only sleep, so, really sorry but I really couldn't do…anything.

Now, on with our story:

PS: sorry for the big reminder of the last chapter. If you remember what happened, you don't have to read it all, just go down to the thing with: The actual (new) chapter. The reason why I put so much from the last chapter it's because it's been a long time and there's so much to remember… I also added a smaller summarize after the previous chapter's copy...

**From the previous (last) chapter:**

Silence embraced everything around, until, after seconds, or minutes, I felt his arms around me once again.

In the middle of the night, or in the middle of the day. I wasn't sure which one. I woke up. Just me. He was still sleeping soundly and calmly. I turned around and looked at his relaxed posture and I started touching his cheeks with no reason. I didn't want to wake him up though, so I just barely and lightly caressed them.

Even after staying one whole day with him, sleeping and eating, talking and sleeping, it still didn't feel real. I really didn't want to recognize it myself. But I've been worried sick, just like a mother is worried for her child. Though, one would say it's the other way around since I've been nothing but a kid for him these days, and he treated me like one, putting himself in the role of the mother.

However, I let it all sink in just in that moment of silence and for once in my life; I was content with what I was feeling. I was no longer hiding it from my own self, maybe a bit from him and a bit more, to everything, from the rest of the world, but not from me.

I couldn't help but recall what happened and now, thinking about it with a clear head. A filled stomach, a warm body and a certain someone sleeping beside me, I realized that the only person that I wanted to save me in that moment was him.

In my confused mind, I was actually confusing what has happened with the snow in my past, when it was also snowing, and I thought about how it would've have been for Sasuke to save me back then? Would things be different for me? Would things be different for him, too?

The present would've changed? Would it all be any better, or any worse?  
>I had no answer even now, in the moment when it all passed, happened and been.<p>

But it didn't matter. For I fell asleep once again, while thinking that it really didn't matter if all that pain from winter made me this happy in the present. Brought me right in that very moment, just before I fell asleep beside him.

And this time, I dreamt, and I saw what I was dreaming for only a second, but it was enough to remember it even when I woke up:

_My voice, was far…too far… the ground, was…far, under…_

_"I thought….I thought…" Tears and quick heartbeats. "I thought…" Sweaty and cold._

_Trembling, until I lost connection with reality. Until, I only saw nothing._

_'I thought…'_

Dark_. It was too dark to see a thing. No structure, no color, no smell, no sound; because there's nothing to touch, nothing to feel, just void and null, just blankness and vacancy, just like...a desert of darkness._

_'If only…you'd be my light.'_

And my light, you've been.

**Last's chapters summarize:** It doesn't even cover up what happened, but after all, we got out of the forest, in a car with Sasuke holding Naruto, the soldier driving, they almost kissed, feeling very comfortable with each other and then we finally got back to the underground house, in bridal-style.

They slept together, woke up together, and then slept again. Naruto woke up because of Sasuke waking him up, bridal-style carried again to the kitchen, being feed by Sasuke like he's a three year old child and then back to bed with Sasuke. Naruto only felt more content that he's been worried about Sasuke but it was okay for him. And he fell asleep again dreaming what happened right before he fell and hit his head by a rock because of Sasuke forcing him to kiss him…and still, he's still not disturbed by the situation, or you can put it however you like it.

I'm still horrible at summarizing but I hope it helped; you could've also ignored them both. So, finally done, really on with the chapter this time!

**The actual (new) chapter:**

What impressed me the most was the sky, for it made me look at it as if it represented the entire town. Even though there were a lot of blocks, I could still see the sky, for somehow, the sky wanted for me to look at it.

**Chapter 14: Shadows**

Sweat was dripping down from the sides of my face and on my chest. Breathing deeply and rapidly from the effort which didn't exhaust me but made me even more excited. The adrenaline feeding my boiling blood, flowing through eager veins while the wind hit my entire body, while the car only made my goal seem even spicier, as it seems that the rocks of the desert protested under the powerful and over forced car wheels just to make a damn turn to the left.

The smell of gun powder and blood isn't very noticeable if you're already used to it. I, being a person who hates both of them, actually got used to them very fast in order to ignore them completely. However, I could tell from the screaming of one of my passengers that he isn't used to any of them, and he's about to dirty the back seats of the freshly washed car with what he ate before we saved him, hopefully, his stomach might be empty.

"Faster!" The King of assholes commanded for the third time in one hour, and if I wasn't the one driving then I would've punched his smirking face.

"You…" I quietly mumbled, though I knew that even if I would've almost screamed, no one would hear me. Still, I was too used to use his first name, while our 'passenger' doesn't need to know any of our names, or our 'friendly' relationship. Otherwise, his ears are covered by his own hands, he's also crying, while he's praying and the only minute he stops praying is when a bomb almost hits us all, and the prayer is replaced with a girly scream.

'I can't believe I used to be the one who was saved just months ago, thanks God I didn't look like that!' I thought as I spared him a quick glance, and also smiled a little at him to reassure him that everything is alright. But he only cried more and prayed even louder.

Indeed, I would've never thought rescuing someone from the devil's den would be this easy after you do it just like…ten times? I didn't count. However, Sasuke must've done it like one hundred times, or even more, to have a whole new town filled with people you rescued, well, it must've took a lot of work. However, no one experienced what I experienced every time he'd go alone, and also let me sit, all alone, in the car waiting for him.

One hour. If in one hour he doesn't return, then I'm 'ordered' to leave immediately. And those hours are the worst hours from my entire life. My heart beats like it's about to jump from my chest and that isn't the only health problem I seem to develop while I'm waiting for him to come back or to never come back again. Because, even if he always came back in record time with a new kidnapped guy or girl from the other organization, I'm always prepared to go after him and get him back, dead or alive.

Never had to, and I'm secretly hoping I will never have to. And when I once just slightly inquired I wouldn't leave if he doesn't make it… I received the King's fist. That didn't make me change my mind though. I knew I was selfish when I almost tried to convince him that he shouldn't do what he's doing. That he should stop and put someone else in charge. Because I no longer cared about the ones who are kidnapped, after all, they were all dumb or scared to death each and every time screaming like babies. I only cared about him but he didn't even want to hear it. Looking at me, talking to me with his eyes, proving me wrong. If he wouldn't have done what he's currently doing, I wouldn't have been alive, right beside him. True.

"Stop daydreaming!" I heard him between his own gunshots. And I listened to him, a bit annoyed that he already knew me too well.

"We're gonna die!" The crying man exclaimed right in the second when I noticed the huge gate right ahead of us. Speeding up even more if that was possible, or maybe it was only my relief of finally arriving home after a day of work. Or whatever what we're doing is supposed to be named.

And we did it again. Just when the doors of the gates were by our right and left, we looked into each others' eyes. None of us could ever forget and now that we were working together, the memory was burning with an undying flame:  
><em>*"I've felt so touched by everything, surprised and somehow, saddened that the words just came out of my mouth, they were too strong for me to keep inside of me, just to think them, so I heard myself saying:<em>

_"Who do you think you are to…kill?"_

_My words got lost within the dusty air, on the ground covered in sand that we've left behind us with each mile the brown haired man crossed, but even so, my ears seemed deaf to my own sentence but not to his ears, while for the first time it seemed like his black eyes were no longer covered with a foggy structure above it, with no life in them, but content that I am there, alive, and existent in front of him, looked at me, not through me, not behind me and not just at my body. But at me. I didn't know how to react but to also look at him, within his black endless eyes, searching for something that I don't know, or understand, with no direction, or precision._

_We stood like this for more than I could estimate, it could've been seconds or minutes. But even so, he lowered his gun a little, while he stopped shooting and while I understood how deep my words cut into his soul, mind and existence._

_The gun was no longer pointed at the men who attack us, whom shoot at us, and who want us to drop dead and dance over our corpses. No. His gun was pointed at me. At my head. I parted my lips, ready to take one last breath of air, the air which is still filled with sand, with smoke, with dust and death._

_But even if his gun was pointed at my head, even if the men never stopped shooting and even if I think I almost saw two huge gates opening ahead of us, I was never able to leave his gaze, never able to take my eyes off of his eyes. I was almost content and not even annoyed or bothered that those too black eyes might be the last eyes, the last structures, and the last light and darkness that my eyes will ever see. Before I die."*_

I shook my head as if the memory was attached by my hair like dirt and I had to shake it off, to fall. And it did, only for now.

"Hurray!" I heard some of the citizens exclaiming and I could already tell the gates were closed and I only looked behind me for a second to see the still terrorized man being welcomed with warm and reassuring smiles before I returned to Sasuke's side as we got away from the entire scene.

People were thanking us, and I learned that I don't have to look so pleased with what I was doing; after all, we had to kill people to rescue people. Well, at least Sasuke did. I still couldn't kill, and not because I wasn't allowed to kill but because I didn't want to kill. And to top it with a cherry, Sasuke didn't force me; instead, he assigned me to drive the car while the doctor had more time to heal the citizens, rather than driving a car. And it worked perfectly with me. I was really good at it, and it's been a surprise even for me.

"Home sweet home." I shouted as I crashed on our bed only to look up at Sasuke who started to take his clothes off. Which were covered in dirt and sand from our 'trip'; I also learned that this was his thing, the first thing he did every time he came to his underground home after rescuing someone, after that, he will take a shower.

"I'll go take a shower." He told me, while I only nodded.

I let my head fall back on the pillows as thoughts started to bother my mind again. I couldn't help but feel nostalgic lately. For I didn't have any time to think about what I was doing, at least, I had no time to stay on my own. My private time reduced to almost none since I started to live with Sasuke for good now. That I had no intention of ever leaving his place or his side, since our relationship only got better, still, if I thought about us as best friends, it seemed stupid, however, we spent every second of the day together and if that wasn't enough, it didn't bother me at all.

The only time we were separated was like in this second, when he'll take a shower and when I'll take one later before we go to bed. And that was it. We eat together, read together, train together, talk, roughhouse, laugh, even make fun of each other and to top it off, we sleep in the same bed. To make it worse, we come to a silent agreement that we have no problem with cuddling in bed. Nothing more though.

It's been two months since he rescued me, for the second time, from the freezing woods, brought me back and took care of me until I couldn't even recall what happened and didn't think about it at all. I've never felt better. Even my body felt healthier and stronger though I was still smaller than him, and he was still taller and stronger than me, my determination suppressed him as I never gave up when we trained. Even if the swords still felt heavy, I got better with body on body fighting. Beat him once, lost ten times or more. But still… won once!

Two months passed so fast and so much happened that I can't even believe how comfortable I felt. Around him, around the army, and even around the citizens, well…at least when I wasn't with Sasuke and when I had to walk away from them like we're the bad ones. Feeling a little proud each time I visited Sisay and she would show off with me, calling me hers and praising me to no end. Sasuke no longer liked her as much as he did when he got information about me from her, now, that she was practically claiming and fighting with him, for ownership over me… I was suspecting he was jealous, but he'd never admit it.

"I'm done." I heard him as the door of the bathroom opened to reveal a half-naked King in his glory. The towel barely staying around his muscled hips, threatening to fall down, along with the drops of water from his wet black hair, so… it basically was a nice view. And it was only nicer when weeks ago, I realized I'm the only one who sees the King in this state, a normal one nonetheless.

"What do we have for lunch?" I asked him as he started searching for clothes in the drawers.

"Hmm…I don't know." He responded and I had to look away, blushing a little as he started to dress up.

Any other question died in my throat. So I got up and out the bedroom without looking at him anymore and almost ran to the kitchen, however, he only arrived ten seconds after me, while I kept staring at the almost empty fridge.

"We need to buy some food." I mumbled as I continued to move some contents in it, in order to look behind them, at the far end of the cold shelves, but I completely forgot about food when big hands wrapped themselves around my waist. Only to move me away from the fridge.

An unneeded and unintended frown automatically appeared on my face as I stood beside him, watching as he pulled out things from the fridge instead of doing what I was doing which is, only staring at it, hoping that delicious food will magically appear.

I also didn't move when he started preparing something, only watched with unfocused eyes. As I mentally slapped myself for even feeling something close to disappointment, 'cause every time I acknowledged a discomfort within me for one of his unintentional actions, I got mad…at myself.

Since the day when he thought I ran away in the forest to betray him like the dead guy did, since the same day when I made it clear that I was in fact running after him, and after a couple of days, explained that I was also drunk, he stopped being very…physically close to me. Anything other than sleeping or accidentally touching me, but no action lasted as if he really intended to touch me. This somehow bothered me internally. When I should be grateful. For we are what we're supposed to be, we have what we're supposed to have. Two friends, normal ones. Nothing more, nothing less.

'So, why is it that every time we touch, I want his touch to last just a little longer?' I asked myself as I nodded my head when he pointed his finger absently to my chair from the table, the same chair I stood on when he feed me like a three year old child that night. I sat down like a good child, waiting for the food.

It really was insane, because I should've been pleased with the situation. We were really great together. And I was stuck deciding if I should regret what I did that night or not. For what I did that night made him see me only as a friend. And still, if I didn't do what I did that night, then I would've never 'worked' with him.

I convinced him to let me drive the car with the argument that I was too dumb to wait safely for him at home, that I could help, that the doctor should heal, not drive, and that and that… However, the only argument that convinced him was the one that wasn't said. This was that he'd watch me 24 per 24. Neither of us would be worried about each other.

"What's wrong?" He asked with his mouth half-filled with food, and just then I realized that he was already eating, and that I was also supposed to be eating.

"Wha… I'm fine, why?" Cheerful words with a cheerful smile. However, none of it convinced the King!

"Your head is somewhere else." He continued as his fork took another piece from the plate and into his mouth.

Well, I admit. We started to get to know each other without even talking lately, and also, I've been so occupied lately that this was the only time I stopped and started to think about it. Guess, he'd see the difference, since we've been talking, and doing, and shooting, and driving, and walking, and also laughing like crazy.

So, I picked up my fork and I really asked myself this time, ignoring all the twisted feelings and all the annoying questions and thoughts filling my mind, and just asked myself:  
>'What's wrong with me? Everything's been fine, I'm happy, so why is it that I'm suddenly sad?'<p>

"Sasuke…?" I started as I let the fork down in the same place from where I picked it up.

"Yeah?" He urged me to continue when he saw that I was no longer talking. While I stared at his hand totally not seeing it and then back at his worried face. Another thing that only I will see from him.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked, and immediately wanted to take it back since it had no sense whatsoever.

"No, why?" He responded in a flash, as if already thinking I was crazy for just thinking that, and I was, for he wasn't angry with me but… there was something else.

"Then why are you…like…you're no longer…" I tried and tried. Stopped and then started again but the words wouldn't get out, the words wouldn't make sense. So I closed my mouth and stared into his eyes, wishing he'd understand, because I was in fact the one who didn't understand what was happening with him, with me, or with us.

"King! There's an emergency!"

'So much for embarrassing truth time number 3…' the last thought until I threw my personal feelings aside. Just like Sasuke did in the same second.

"What?!" He almost completely yelled, losing patience as the soldier breathed heavily in front of us, unable to catch his breath and unable to just talk already.

"In t…the city." He finally started just to stop again. Sasuke was already up, his fork down, almost shaking from pure anger. But he said nothing; after all, it was a pure reaction of a body after running very fast and much to need rest.

"Many…people coming." ..."Right now!" He exclaimed when we were already running up the stairs for the exit.

The car was parked right in front of the exit door after all, I was the one driving it now and it was pretty convenient that way. But I couldn't help my reaction when Sasuke stood on the driver's seat and almost sent me flying to the seat beside him.

He started the car before I was even able to complain. I did it only after we were halfway the road to the gates.

"Why are you driving?! 'Cause I'm not killing anybody!" I screamed while the speed made it sound like I was normally talking.

I didn't panic 'cause I already thought he has a plan, he always had a plan. Another thing I learned about him, but I already knew I didn't like it.

"You don't know the road to the city." He said as we waited for the gates to open by some soldiers who also asked if they could come with us and what surprised me even more was that he accepted to take two of them, in the back seats.

No matter how much I hated to admit it, I really didn't know the road to the city. I only knew the road to the ones who kidnap the people who come in the town. When I was once kidnapped. However, he once explained that we also take the people from the city before the other side kidnaps them. But only one or two people arrive into the city to be kidnapped. While we take them right after they arrived mostly. However, there aren't many at all, this place isn't known for being used, there are only people like me who want to escape from the rest of the world that come here, but they also don't know that they will be escaping freedom and leave their entire life behind, also get killed if we don't rescue them. All the options happened after all.

However, what never happened is happening now. A lot of people arriving into the city at the same time. We were informed that they were in numbers of 10 or less. And something that I understood is that there are soldiers in the city too, more soldiers than the ones that I know, but still, from the King's army. Many cars, many other ways to us, or to them. This answered my question to how 10 or less people would fit in a car with only 4 seats, all occupied.

I got even calmer when I heard all of this. From the soldiers of course. Sasuke was as stoic as ever when we are at 'work' and there's something going wrong, while he's planning world's domination. Or stopping it.

However, there was one question the soldier didn't know the answer to, which was: What are we gonna do? This never happened before so there's no plan already made for it.

In the moment I stopped talking with any of them, was the moment when the car finally stopped. And just then, I looked around me to recognize the familiar view of a city. Where there is no sand, no vegetation, and no ordinary human. Not very different from any city, even if this looked like a ghost city for it was abandoned, a long time ago from how it looks like, left only with beggars and thieves, simply put, murders. The blocks are too high or too low. Dirty like the rest of the entire town and its folks.

What impressed me the most was the sky, for it made me look at it as if it represented the entire town. Even though there were a lot of blocks, I could still see the sky, for somehow, the sky wanted for me to look at it.

Nonetheless, the view of the sky was replaced with another familiar thing which was Sasuke's face, as he took my right hand and lifts it from my side, making me stare at it too, as he placed a small gun on it.

And this time, I panicked.

"How many times do I have to make it clear?! I won't…" He covered my mouth with his hands, as he always does when what I say has nothing to do with what he intends.

"It's not for killing. It's for protecting." His words echoed in the back of my mind for many seconds, even after he moved his hand away from my mouth, after he made sure I won't complain by looking into my blue eyes, and even after turning his back to me, to order something to the two soldiers, I could still hear his words.

And without even thinking about it, without even acknowledging the fact that my hand trembled a little on the gun, not because of fear, but because of the anger that I only thought that I might have to use it to harm somebody, not to mention, kill. Still, I put it in my jeans, in the most reachable pocket from my right side.

He was done ordering and I was done with the gun. And when I noticed the two soldiers leaving us alone and heading to somewhere else, I already knew we were on our own. Again.

"What's the plan?" I asked as I ignored the sounds the gun made when he loaded it, looking only at him.

"They'll go and get as many soldiers as possible in a short amount of time, and cars." He quickly but surely informed me as I nodded.

"And we will…" I started, waited for him to continue, and he did, only after he put the gun somewhere, no longer loading it.

"We will find the one who ran away."  
>"What?!" I was getting more and more freaked out by the whole situation.<p>

"One of them ran away because he or she knew something about this place, so instead of waiting to be kidnapped or rescued…"  
>"He or she ran away." I finished for him and he also only nodded. As we started to walk into a direction only he knew. But I quietly walked after him.<p>

I tried really hard not to get pissed because it wouldn't help at anything but it was terrific, and it was just so like him to do the harder job instead of doing the easiest. However, I decided to look around me to stop the nerves getting the best of me.

And now that my mind cleared a bit, I realized that we might be at the end of the town, or at the start of it? Still, the sun was still up but behind clouds, while they borrowed its light and it looked like they changed its color too, as if the clouds above us were so intoxicated that they couldn't be white or anything bright, instead, it looked like it was raining, or that we were cursed, or both. I dismissed the idea of a possible coming rain because I remembered that the sky was the same when I first arrived into this town. It was like it was …its natural color.

"How come nobody talks of this town?"

I tried making conversation after a half an hour of walking through dark alleys and narrow streets, which were surprisingly empty. Dirty, but with no humans or animals.

"What's to talk about?" He answered a question with another question, which meant he didn't like the subject, but I wouldn't give up that easily.

"Well, it's abandoned, that much I can tell. But why is it abandoned?"

He stopped walking and he also turned around to look into my eyes. The action pretty much surprised me, in a way that made the hair from my back stand up and my eyes to open up wider. Why? I had no idea. However, suddenly, I was aware of my position, of the limited space I had, and even more aware because after I made two steps behind, as he advanced towards me, my back hit the wall. Stuck and cornered.

His hands were on each side of my body, also on the wall. He was too close. His body against mine, making me feel small against his power, his eyes on mine, his lips breathing on mine. I should've felt better? For it hurt when he stopped doing anything? Or I should feel more scared, like I did when I didn't know what he was about to do, and that was one second ago, I seriously considered that he'll beat me up or something. I wasn't sure what I was feeling. But I wasn't that dumb.

'He's only…making me forget my question…'

"Tell me." I demanded. Also breathing against his lips. "Why was this city…" I swallowed any shiver which held emotions I couldn't describe. "…abandoned?"

He didn't answer me, he didn't move, and he also didn't kiss me. He just continued to stay like that.

"I'm sorry." He whispered as he finally moved himself off of me. I was still dizzy.

"For what?"

Nothing.

Quiet, silent or dead. All the same. This city held nothing but ruins and dirt.

And now that I had no idea why he did what he did after such a long time of not showing any emotion above that of friendship, I didn't even want to start a conversation. Had no subject which wouldn't start a fight. I was confused. And all of my negative emotions felt worse while we still wondered in this damned city.

We walked several stairs from a certain block which for me, looked like any other block. Still, he decided it was worth investigating. And as a ruined dark corridor spread before us, I saw it.

A pale sandy-yellow cat, with greenish yellow eyes and a tiny black nose. Right ahead. I started running after it, on instinct, without thinking. Recognizing it. For it was the same cat which kept me company until Sasuke arrived to rescue me for the second time. In the woods, right after it started snowing...

I was in front of Sasuke now, and I could hear him calling my name but also running after me. I didn't run much after all, because I stopped when I entered the door which was at the end of the corridor. I didn't have the mind to think about how a cat could've opened a door, however, I already felt it disappearing, almost saw it vanishing, again.

I pushed it open and almost jumped outside. The burning sun blurring my view, and embracing me with its warmth. While the rest of the whole town is drowning in darkness, this place was illuminated as if; this is the only place the intoxicated clouds couldn't reach.

It took a bit for my eyes to get used to the light, and when they did, Sasuke was already beside me, also covering his eyes a little from the too bright light.

When we were seeing again, the whole view was changed. Or at least, different. Still abnormal but beautiful.

For you see...in this town, the black, gray and purple are colliding into the sky, as if it's all an endless painting, some kind of a macabre bomb. However, at a certain hour, and in just one particular place, you can see red, orange and yellow, even a pale pink, and sometimes, the sky looks as if it's on fire, but that's a rare case.

But you have to know when and where, 'cause if you missed the time or place, the next second when you'll look, it'll be so, just few know about it, the folks in this town are already used to these colors, alone: black, gray and purple.

After all, even the rays of the sun can't change these three colors; the weak sun under the rain clouds can't fight the undying shadow, the filth and the sin that eclipses the whole town.

The streets are way too narrow, filled with beggars or thieves, and in some way, with both. Not to mention, the murderers.

The first time when you'll look at a beggar, or just at a human, they'll seem to be harmless, asking quite nicely for a penny or greeting you, the second look it's really impossible, 'cause you'll be falling to the ground into a pool made of your own blood, you'll die while looking ahead, at nothing.

The streets, everybody's hands, and minds are stained with blood, petals of a red rose.

The blocks are high, gray and old. The nature is quite a rare thing too, even if the whole town is on water, that is just another reason for having no foreign folks in it, few ever heard of this town, almost nobody knows of it, and those who knew and came, had never returned home.

The name of this town?

To be sincere, since I came here, I've tried to find out this answer, but no one knows or cares about the previous name of this town before it became the way it is now.

And now, they call it:

"Underwater?"

I asked the silence itself as if it's a living being itself. But in fact, only reading aloud the wooden board I picked up from the ground. Looking as old and as ruined as the rest of the town.

Sasuke was behind me, staring at it too, with blank eyes. He took it from my hands and put it back from where I picked it.

It was like a balcony on earth, like a little piece of heaven where the sun was its God. As we only stood there, looking at the sky more than we probably should've. The beautiful colors slowly lost their intensity and then their beauty itself. After all, the sun was fading, going down, only to be replaced by the moon, however. We've been too attentive, too concentrated and too impressed by those magnificent colors to even realize we were staying on the ground, looking at the sky, side by side.

„So..." Sasuke started, as he got up and looked down on me, offering me his hand. And I took it, only to end up in front of him, incredibly close to him.

"So…" I continued because suddenly, I was at a loss of words.

"We need to find the runaway person." He said and I nodded my head. Until I stopped because he grabbed my chin and gently forced me to look up, at him, as he looked down to me, bowed down a bit, to me.

Our eyes connected, and we were both somehow content this time. There was no fear, no hesitation and no obligation. It was what it was. Our lips slightly touching, my hands reaching out to his neck, staying on my tiptoes to reach him and when his hand caressed the back of my head, into blond hairs, my lips melted onto his lips.

"Bravo!" The voice startled us both. We didn't push each other away, instead, I watched him getting protective of me, putting himself in front of me, holding me closer and tighter.

We both now stared at a woman which smiled at both of us. Clapping her hands and whistling.

"Who are you?!" His voice demanded, and I immediately recognized his King-mode being turned on, after all, I didn't feel ashamed or anything, a bit caught, I admit. But this stranger wasn't scared of us, wasn't surprised to see us, instead, we were the ones who were on her territory, which, sadly, was correct.

"Oh, come on. You were just talking about me."

I couldn't resist the urge to look at Sasuke, wondering if he knew what she meant.

But when he straightened his back, not attacking her or aiming for his gun, I realized he understood. But there were too many things happening at once, so, I had no idea.

"You're the one who ran away?" He asked, or demanded, again. And she only nodded. Her smile never leaving her lips or eyes.

I wanted to slap myself for being so aerial, but I, at least had a reason. While Sasuke…well…he's Sasuke. Always knowing what's happening, controlling the situation and…stuff.

"Finally, we searched all over the place for you!" I started, filling relieved, also, made a step to Sasuke's right, no longer feeling the need to be protected, but he didn't seem to think the same as his hand blocked me from moving, and to stay behind him.

"I realized you were looking for me. After all, why would the King come all the way from his new kingdom to his old kingdom?" She asked, with a wide smile on her face. Beautiful face, nonetheless, but something, was still wrong.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, pushing the note, almost begging for information with my eyes, but there was nothing. Sasuke's eyes were threatening her, and if I didn't know better, if he wouldn't have been protecting me, he would've killed her.

And even though I wanted information, I didn't want it from her. So I just closed my mouth and no longer made any move towards her. Listening to him. Staying away from her.

"Chill." She casually suggested but none of us were able to do that, instead, we tensed.

"There are two options. You come with us. We won't force you though. Or, you'll get kidnapped and then killed. Your choice."

Once again, the words of a King, still, she was as calm as ever, as if she already knew all of this. But that didn't surprised me anymore, what surprised me was that he just took out the option that we'll save her if she gets kidnapped and looking at his face, at his eyes for just some seconds, I was sure he'd let her die.

'Why?'

"I don't want to be one of your citizens." She stated with an easy smile and a warm glance. Still, I didn't want to get any nearer to her. She screamed danger.

"What a pity." Sasuke ended the conversation abruptly, not even trying to convince her, and when I wanted to disagree with his behavior, I stopped. Without any reachable reason, I didn't want to have her come with us.

"Wait." She said after we already made several steps in the opposite direction. No longer towards the door from where we came, but going down the hardest way.

"What?!" His words spit venom, but she wasn't impressed, or scared. I was.

"I don't want to be one of your citizens. So I'll be part of your army." Her smile only grew wider, if that was even possible.

"We're not looking for members, we're too many already." He cut her off completely, again, saying no with his entire being, refusing her, and his grip on my wrist tightening as he forced me to walk after him in the opposite direction, again.

"I'm not like any other member; you don't have any member with my skills. And not to mention, my vast… knowledge."

He stopped in his tracks, and from my position, I couldn't see his face, but his back and arms were tense. It was like she knew something I didn't. Like they already knew each other. Like… I wasn't supposed to be there. Like I wasn't there.

Like…she was an enemy. And just like…she's about to infiltrate in our home.

"Welcome to the army, but don't expect to be treated like a princess."  
>"I wouldn't dream of it, my King." She talked and bowed. But even if this should be made out of formality, and maybe, gratitude, her actions weren't because of any of this. And Sasuke didn't even turn around to look at her, he was still looking ahead, in the opposite direction, and I still couldn't even see his face, but I could hear, I could feel, everything.<p>

"What are you playing this time?"

His voice was above a whisper, but she heard him.

"You'll see."

To be continued…

**AN2: **Well, what can I say? Took too much to write? I know. Much happening, many answers, and too many questions? Yeah, I know. Anything to say? This chapter has been beta'd by konakisen .Hope everybody liked the chapter. See you next Friday.

**Answering reviews: **First, for the **'Guest' **and also known as 'Cassy' in the world of the internet. As I said, not feeling very well, but still, thank you very much for encouraging me. And I envy you for updating once a month, it's easier, but I try really hard to keep this up, once per Friday updating thing, since I never done it myself. It sucks, but I'm getting there! I mean, the plot is getting more complicated, the relationship itself is complicated, everything's twisted, so it's so much to find out or to just reveal so it can be found out, then…there are many chapters to come, and if I didn't do this, once per week chapter, then, It'll take ages to finish this story! 'Can't wait to hear your theory now! And I don't let you, I beg you to ramble on and on: D Thank you very much for your review, and for your every review, make me stick with all of it. Thank you!

For**kiki2222: **Thank you very much for your review, I feel very good to know that you like it, it's okay to just say whatever you want to say if it's good :D or helps me improve. So, thank you, hope you'll still like it as it continues.


	15. Chapter 15:Like a child

**AN1:** Hello, I know I missed one Friday, I'm very sorry, I hope it won't repeat again. Been a hard time for me, I can't write at all. Tried my best so I won'd dissapoint anybody. Information about the next chapter in AN2. Now, been some time, so, I'll spare you from my rambling, reading time:

**From the previous (last) chapter:**

_"I don't want to be one of your citizens. So I'll be part of your army." Her smile only grew wider, if that was even possible._

_"We're not looking for members, we're too many already." He cut her off completely, again, saying no with his entire being, refusing her, and his grip on my wrist tightening as he forced me to walk after him in the opposite direction, again._

_"I'm not like any other member; you don't have any member with my skills. And not to mention, my vast… knowledge."_

_He stopped in his tracks, and from my position, I couldn't see his face, but his back and arms were tense. It was like she knew something I didn't. Like they already knew each other. Like… I wasn't supposed to be there. Like I wasn't there._

_Like…she was an enemy. And just like…she's about to infiltrate in our home._

_"Welcome to the army, but don't expect to be treated like a princess."  
>"I wouldn't dream of it, my King." She talked and bowed. But even if this should be made out of formality, and maybe, gratitude, her actions weren't because of any of this. And Sasuke didn't even turn around to look at her, he was still looking ahead, in the opposite direction, and I still couldn't even see his face, but I could hear, I could feel, everything.<em>

_"What are you playing this time?"_

_His voice was above a whisper, but she heard him._

_"You'll see."_

**The actual (new) chapter:**

The mission ended fast after the incident, or, should I name it, the success of having found the one who ran away. Though, to be sincere, I still considered it to be an unfortunate event. Me! Who had no idea who the woman is, who had no idea why I just couldn't stand her, after all, I didn't judge by appearances. And even if we started on the wrong foot, I would give it another shot without hesitation, but not this time. This was a special case. As they say, there's a first for everything.

Chapter 15: Like a child

Fast, nerve-racking, and absolutely impossible. My description for the woman from the King's army, the only woman, and as if that's not enough; she gives her best to be the last one standing, killing the rest of the army, or just… the rest of the men.

I wasn't on her top list of priorities as it seemed, the King received that spot. However, I could tell her attention is also directed my way, and I could tell she avoided me on purpose, and not because we met in such a strange way, not because she was scared or disgusted by me, but because she waited for the perfect moment to make the perfect strike. Just because she wouldn't want to hit twice, she wouldn't like to just slightly annoy me, or just lightly hit me with words, she wants to take me down by only one final blow.

I was patiently waiting for it. 'Cause I had no idea from where it'll come, still, waiting only made me more anxious. And I was partly conscious that she also knew that.

I barely paid attention to the rest of the mission, because I only walked with Sasuke, hand in hand, until we arrived to the car. He drove us to his men, to his army which gathered and waited for orders after taking care of the rest of the people who had to be saved, the nine of them. Who were also with them in the moment when we finally arrived. While we've only rescued one. The only one who wasn't worth saving? And I still had no idea why I was thinking like that of her, but I just felt it like that from within my very core.

Maybe because Sasuke hated her, it was obvious that his entire being continued to refuse her and to annoy him. Why? Since every time I asked on our way home if he knew her, he first said no, and after that, no matter how much I insisted that he lied, he wouldn't say another word. But of course he's lying because it's impossible to abhor someone that much after just meeting them. Of course, she bumped into us while kissing. But hey, no pun made, still, I knew better. Sasuke isn't that childish.

I am. Since every time she looked my way and talked with her eyes, being way better at non-verbal communication than I'll ever be, my cheeks turned into a pink color on their own, without my approval. It was like she stripped me with her eyes. But not of my clothes, no, that would be too simple. But of what I was on the surface. As if every time I ignored Sasuke's signs of affections, sometimes knowingly, sometimes completely unconscious, she'd look my way and talk with me, with her eyes: 'Can't take it, huh? Want more, huh? You're a bitch, huh?'

Why I felt it that way? I had no idea. Because it wasn't the truth…well, not everything about it. I mean, of course I wanted more, it scared the hell out of me, for sure. But she didn't use pretty words for it, didn't look at it as something that involved feelings, but pure psychical attraction. And as if that wasn't enough, I started to wonder about my own feelings too.

While Sasuke seemed to be even more confident in his actions, even more accurate in his implying, and even touchier…no matter whom was around. I first thought he lost his head when he kissed my cheek during practice, in front of everyone. The reason? He thought I accepted to have a relationship with him when we kissed on the rooftop? I accepted that? Or…I want to accept that?

The thing is, the rescued citizens found a home instantly. Never heard of them again. But not her! The devil with no name. Who moved on Sasuke's couch and decided to take part in every activity of the army, or…every activity I and Sasuke had. So it's really no surprise that we were practically stuck in the bedroom all day, started to eat in bed, talk in bed, read in bed, …practically living in that bed, because the bedroom was the only room she never touched. And the bathroom connected to it.

No idea how or why, but the door I've been very suspicious about, the only room I never walked in, turned out to be a bathroom connected to the main room. Felt pretty lame for me, but also pretty good news, since she uses it, and I have the common sense that none of us will use it, well, not like we used it before. It was much smaller, and the door was like the same color with the walls, and I truly didn't see it at first, then, when I noticed, I really tried hard not to enter for I think it's a secret door to something, or that at least I should investigate when Sasuke's not around. This was impossible, since Sasuke is always around me. But the 'woman' helped me. Or not.

"I'll get us some food, what do you want?" I announced to Sasuke, while he didn't even look up from his book, staying in what it seems to be, a very comfortable position on the bed. With his head on a pillow, his back on the mattress and his legs stretched. While I stood before the bed, looking at him.

"Alcohol." He responded, quite nonchalant.

"That's not food. And I thought you freaking ordered me not to drink ever again after the 'forest incident'" I told him, bored and annoyed, for it was true. He really did make a scene after I explained him that I've been drunk when I went in the forest after him; guess I forgot to mention it, since it still annoyed me a lot. But I only agreed because that was also a part of the deal. When I somehow won (lost a little), by always being with him, at work too, well, driving his car, however, what passed my mind when I agreed was mostly my small fear of what I'll do next time I'd get drunk, for I was no good when anxious and drunk.

"I ordered you not to drink without me ever again." His conclusion as he stood up a little, putting the book on the bed and looking at me with eyes I don't see often. Eyes that tell me that he wants something from me. As the devil woman, he's very good with non-verbal communication too. I am not. Since I don't really get what he wants.

"Fine, fine. Just stop looking at me like that." I begged as I already turned around and made my way to the door. Too fast to have seen the hand stretched out to touch me.

I closed the door behind me as my senses suddenly turned alert without even having a real reason, without even forcing myself to. The room had a few candles here and there, but it still looked slightly darker than usual, or maybe, it was just me. Still, the woman was nowhere to be found. As usual, she took a long walk outside after finishing the training, annoying everyone after and then she would take a shower and then storm outside without even letting us seeing her, and getting back later in the night. Not that her absence bothered us, not at all.

"Booze, booze." I whispered to no one in particular, as I opened the fridge which lately contained more alcohol than food. Why? I blamed her. For she turned Sasuke in a walking disaster. Surprisingly, he didn't get drunk very fast if he hadn't intended it or at least, he didn't show it, and miraculously, he never had a hangover the morning after. The reason why I let him drink after all, he didn't give any bad signs. Though, I know it was no good. He was drinking because she provoked him stress. Why? I was yet to find out.

I inspected all the bottles and as if I wanted to be sure he'll get drunk, I picked the red wine. I wasn't my favorite but was his. And also, his kryptonite. For it was the only thing which got him drunk for sure. I took it out, got two glasses, not only one this time, and walked back to the bedroom.

"Open it." I said as I handed him the wine bottle, as I placed the glasses on the nightstand. He filled the glasses to the extent that the wine was almost able to get out of it. We carefully took them from the nightstand and I only took a sip while he almost emptied the whole glass. Only a thin line remained on the bottom of the transparent glass.

"You're okay?" I asked, whispering more than talking normally. For I could tell he wasn't in the best mood. However, he didn't show any sign of frustration, instead he poured himself another glass and drunk half of it and then, he reached out to me, pulling me closer to him by my waist, making me sit on the bed beside him, almost on him. We were that close.

"You're drunk already?" I asked with a smile on my lips. Trying hard to don't show any sign of worry. But my eyes weren't smiling.

"Not yet, sadly." He whispered too, but into my ear. I was ready to ask about it but he moved my own hand, forcing the glass closer to my lips, forcing me to drink. And I drank. All of it. And I was already a bit dizzy.

"You're trying to get me drunk?" I implied, not expecting an answer but the answer came with a clear nod of his head, proving me right.

"Why?" I asked whispering as I watched his hand filling the two glasses again, giving mine back, and taking his own again. Drinking it all in a flash. Putting it back on the nightstand and then forcing me to drink again.

Why was I letting him do this? Why…indeed.

It's been a week since she installed herself into our lives. Took ownership over the couch and the 'new' bathroom. But not only that, while we trained, she didn't only spar with the soldiers but tried to kill them. But she didn't look like she was set to kill, instead, she was so entertained, so able and passionate in her moves, concentrated that she got lost, and couldn't stop. She smiled all along. It scared us a bit, but it was also impressing and admirable. She didn't kill anybody yet, but the soldiers didn't make any move that they took her seriously, not even after getting a bruise or two.

Sasuke didn't like it at all. Many times, he'll take her away from us all, and walk too many steps away from us, until, they'll be out of view, but not out of our range of hearing for they screamed at each other, fought and disagreed in everything. Not only in what seemed to be her fault but also that she hated the way he did things. Complained about letting even just one person get kidnapped even after Sasuke explained her for hours that they'll figure out how many people come indeed if they didn't let at least one get to their territory, and they'll rescue him or her anyway.

She didn't care. She wanted war, and not only that, she wanted the victory of it.

And those were only examples of their fights. She insulted me many times in front of him. Not even directly. And before I'd even be able to open my mouth to retort, he'll start yelling at her immediately.

I was sick of it. But there was no escape from it. And his only escape was drinking. He told me that he could stop it anytime. He wasn't addicted. And I believed him. But he still continued to do it. Because he wanted to.

And now, he drowned me inside his black bubble too. As he continued to pour wine until the bottle was empty. As he forced me to drink even if I was already drunk. And I could tell he was dizzy too.

I couldn't keep my head up anymore, even if I was already sitting down on the bed. I had to lay my head and back fall on the mattress. Though I knew, I was only inviting him by doing that. I was looking so innocent, so harmless, and so easy to dominate with my cheeks flushed and my eyes half opened, my lips half opened…

He was looking down on me, only two seconds, for he positioned himself that he was now on his knees, on me, like a predator ready to catch its pray. I looked away from his lustful gaze. I realized that we're in the middle of the bed. And that I'm trapped by his legs and by his hands. But even if I wasn't, I had no energy and no will left to get up.

He bowed down, kissed my neck and on instinct, I reached out for his raven hair. I grabbed it, mercilessly and unconsciously. His lips on my neck, his tongue on my skin, and his breath against my pulse. I didn't want to admit it. And it was really easy not to, with my head in the clouds. However, the thing in my pants wanted my attention. No. His attention.

"Sasu…ke…" I whispered, though I intended to sound mad, it ended up sounding like a moan, pushing him to continue. The opposite for what I intended. For even if I was drunk. My mind didn't shut down. Instead, it was away. Dizzy, but awake.

He continued to devour my neck with his mouth as his hands started their own attack. His right hand traveled under my blouse, caressing my abdomen and then up to my left nipple.

"Uh… sto…op." I wasn't convincing, for I was in a world of my own. My head hurt and didn't in the same time. My hand continued to pull his hair, making him kiss with even more eagerness. As his fingertips pulled too, but at my sensible and already erected nipple.

What was worse when I was drunk, one thing only I knew, was the honesty of thoughts, their clearness, no, their iciness. For they judged everything in the coldest and the sincerest way.

'I want this, but I have to stop it…God…'

I was no longer thinking when his right leg accidentally or not accidentally pushed against my painfully erected member. A moan I didn't even want to hear, escaped my lips. I wasn't able to stop him. I didn't want to stop him. Though I was conscious, it was a mistake.

*'_The reason why I hated the sun and winter altogether was simple. I hated the snow for it was snowing when my innocence and my old self were stolen away. I knew that, saw that, felt that. As I was taken from behind, but I was still looking at the large window as it snowed and snowed, endlessly.'*_

'Shut up.' A thought so quiet, yet so demanding as I forced myself to not step into the past, but to stay into the present, and when my eyes snapped open to look at the almost completely black and blank ceiling, it only aggravated things. As I felt his hands and nails burning my flesh, invading my body, defying it, dirtying it. Only for his own pleasure.

_*'The purity of the snow. I now, compared it to nails buried into white sheets and my own screaming echoing in the walls, in the dead of the night, in the middle of nowhere. His nails in my waist and back, his teeth in my skin, and even the slaps. For I wanted to get away but I gave up halfway. To cry while looking at the clear wide window. As it…snowed.*'_

"Hah..." The sound got out as I felt out of breath, while my eyes fought with reality and illusion, with the present and the past, while thin lips,but skilled, probed my own, moving against my own, demanding entrance I wasn't willing to give, I wasn't even aware. I just wanted to get away, as the hand moved from my chest to my belly.

*'_After that, I still childishly or insanely hoped that everything will go back to normal. That my parents will come back when the house will be reconstructed and that I'll return to my room. So…childish._

_Nothing returned to normal, instead. Everything changed. And that was what I feared the most._

_As the days were long, and longer were the nights. That repeated and repeated. The rape repeated and repeated. Never stopping.*'_

"N…no…no…" I almost begged, or I almost screamed, but my words were whispered, too low, too desperate and too moaned to be taken into consideration by a drunk man set on a too-easy-to-take goal.

Still, I was about to cry, but even if I did, he wouldn't see me, for his lips were on my nipples now, not looking up at my face as his hand wondered if touching my member or teasing the skin above is better.

*'_The day passed me by, because all I could do was sleep from exhaustion. And in the night...well, you had it all figured out.*'_

"Please…please…" The words got out somehow, still a bit too low. But in his drunken state he understood something else, and just after saying them, I realized that he understood exactly that I was begging for him to touch me.

Wrong.

Though, I was sure about what he understood, when his hand no longer wondered but slipped into my pants and touched my hot member while his cold hand was enough to let the salty tears roam free from my eyes to my cheeks and mattress.

_*'I tried to protect myself. I swear. I tried to make myself to enjoy it. But I couldn't. He wasn't an ugly man, by far. He was a beautiful one. Almost as handsome as my father. But still….it wasn't his appearance that haunted me the most. But his touch, his breath, his voice and his …death.*'_

"…don't touch…me…please…" I was talking. I was indeed talking. I was begging and crying. Like a woman. But I didn't care. And he didn't either.

*'_I hated the sun for I waited for it. With every fiber of my body. It was the only hope I had left. For my parents promised me that at the end of the winter, they'll come and I wouldn't have to trust my savior; I wouldn't have to be saved anymore.*'_

I pushed myself up, but I had no strength. All I was capable of was to sit on my butt as his hand never left my member, and after what seemed for me to be a long time, his lips left my nipples and looked into my lips.

I blamed it on the darkness of the room. I blamed it on my tears which could be mistaken for tears of joy. I blamed it on my curse. I blamed it on everybody but him. I swear I tried. But when his lips collided with mine. I didn't know whom to blame anymore.

_*'But when the sun rose, I was left with no hope.'*_

"No!" I yelled, pushed him away and got up for good this time, stumbled a bit on my way to the door, but I had enough time to take a quick glance at him, and at his eyes.

His raven hair was in a mess, his eyes were bloodshot and his hands rested by his side, while his body was directed to me, his eyes were watching me, silently. Not blinking, not thinking and not seeing.

I was running again. And once again, I was running from my savior.

But while something stopped me from running, I didn't see, I didn't even knew why I had my eyes closed, if my eyes were closed because of tears or if whatever or whomever stopped me was really there.

I didn't care.

One particular thought kept screaming at me and I had no strength left: 'That wasn't Sasuke. That was him. Your first savior. He came back from hell to get you.'

The voice was mocking me, laughing at me, and it might've been twisted but the thought seemed perfectly logical in my mind, in that moment.

I don't know how much time passed until I felt too tired to keep pushing something away with my arms. When I did, I let them fall by my sides and I opened my eyes, for I heard my name. To see the devil's woman in front of me. Looking at me, with eyes filled with…worry.

"Naruto, what's wrong? What happened?"

Normal words got out of her mouth, a mother's figure replaced her usually prideful expression, a mother's worried voice replaced the usually yelling and demanding voice, as if it was a completely other person. I would've been more stunned if not drunk and in shock.

"I, I…" I really intended on talking, but nothing got out, I barely formed the word with my lips, but she didn't care. Instead, she embraced me and caressed my head as if hugging her child after having a bad nightmare.

And this is what I wanted today to be, just a small…horrible…nightmare.

"It's alright. You can let it out."  
>As if I expected for her approval, more tears started flowing and cries echoed in the main room of Sasuke's house.<p>

We stood like that for a while. Until, she led me to the couch, covered me with blankets, left only one or two candles lit, as she came back to me, embraced me and fell asleep after me, also, with me in her warm arms, a bit wet from my warm tears.

Morning or afternoon. Whatever time it was. My head still hurt like hell and I was in a good mood since I didn't recall any memory from last night, yet.

I sat up with my eyes half closed, stretching out, trying to get the numbness which set in my bones to leave, but it only made me feel worse, for everything hurt, even my hair. The most damaged part of my body? My mind.

That tried to figure out where I was, and what I was supposed to do. But when a female's voice when asleep reached into my sleepy ears, my eyes had to look in that way. And to stay fixed on her face. For just then, I realized I was sleeping on the couch with her, that I was in the main room. Next puzzle. The tenth huge: 'Why?' from the last 24 hours.

Let's say I only had to close my eyes a bit, trying to clear my head and it was enough. For the memory of the King itself above me, devouring me, made everything fall back into place.

My mind was slower than my body for I felt disgusting, for I felt sick, as instinctively and unconsciously, not even thinking about it before, found myself running towards Sasuke's bathroom. A habit, for the other bathroom still didn't exist for me.

I couldn't stop even if I wanted to. For all the wine or all it was left in my stomach was officially in the toilet.

I washed my mouth, washed my hands, twice, and then again. Then, I hesitantly took a peek into the bedroom to discover that he wasn't in the room, quite the contrary, it was so clean that the room didn't even look used.

Declaring myself lucky, well, my body did, and decided for me too. As I closed the door of the bathroom and took off my clothes, refusing to look at my body, I stepped into the shower, turning the water on, as its warmth cleaned me. I refused to touch my skin, refused for any other part of my body to touch with each other, as the water touched it for me.

I got up only when my skin started protesting about the treatment it was receiving. But the warm water's been enough for me, for I got out of the room and entered the bedroom. A bit self- conscious and attentive to be sincere. As I walked to the closet, took some clothes out, and changed a little too quickly for comfort. I was just a bit… ridiculous.

Still, the room looked too clean and when I observed that the sheets were missing too, well, something was definitely wrong.

I walked out and immediately spotted her on the couch, with half opened eyes but focused on no one else, but me.

"'morning." I tried with a forced smile, or grimace. At which, she only nodded her head in the pillow.

"About last night…" I started only to be cut off.

"Don't worry about me. I'm the one worried about you." She confessed as she stood up from the couch and made some steps towards me, standing only two steps in front of me with her hands crossed at her chest.

"A…why?" I dumbly asked while rubbing the back of my head. It was really dumb to ask, after breaking down in front of her last night though I couldn't remember what I said exactly, I still could remember her comforting words, whispering and singing in my ear until I fell asleep.

"You don't remember last night?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

And I really wanted to take the chance and say no. But I couldn't lie. It wasn't my thing; after all, I didn't want to. Still, I wished I didn't remember anything.

"I do. But, I can't remember what I said…to be sincere…" It was the truth; I had no idea what I told her, I only remembered what she told me. And even that was a bit misty.

"Nothing. Sasuke was the one to tell me what happened."

She said and my eyes immediately went wide at the new information.  
>"He did?" I asked, still begging for a negation.<p>

"Yes. I'm surprised you were so freaked out by the situation since…"

"Wait! He thought I was freaked out by the situation?" I cut her off, but I wasn't sorry for it. Instead, I felt a bit pissed. For, only freaked out didn't cover the truth. I was terrified by the situation. Still, I knew it wasn't his fault because I felt, I felt…raped.

"Well, you screamed and ran away…" I couldn't stand when someone misunderstood or lied, I didn't know which was which this time though.

"That was because…" I cut her off, and then, I stopped myself from talking.

I swallowed dry, as my gaze moved from her intense stare to the ground.

'You want to tell her the truth? What's wrong with you?' A voice from my head informed me about my sanity. Because it isn't a secret for me, but something which isn't to be shared with just anybody, or with just…nobody.

"Because?" She urged me to continue. But I only shook my head from left to right in negation as I continued to stare at the ground. Silent seconds filled some good seconds.

"Where's Sasuke by the way?" I asked her, refusing to face her brave eyes.

"Doing laundry like everybody, at the river." She responded as she sat down on the couch again.

I heard that they washed the clothes at the river but I never did it until now. For, one of the soldiers washed the King's clothes, of course. But this time, it seemed that the King wanted to wash them himself. This meant I had to wash mine too, in person.

"Wait… you said his name…" Dumfounded, I informed her.

But she wasn't surprised, wasn't looking guilty like I just caught her with the cat in the sack. Instead, she was as calm as ever.

The longest time I talked with her, turned out to be quite interesting and…scary.

"How come..." I started but this time, it was her turn to cut me off.

"Let's say he can't kill me for that." Using as a matter of fact voice and a proud smile. She was back to her old self. Or whoever she was anyway.

"Why?" I asked, inquired with an obeying voice, still, she didn't like to be questioned.

"Why are you scared of him?" She asked me with judging eyes, yet, with a curious tone.

"I think I'll go wash my clothes." I made an escape, not only with my words but also with my body.

As if already expecting it, she made no move to stop me. Instead, looked away. As I walked back into the bedroom, took my clothes from the closet and put them in plastic bags. And just like she said, his clothes were gone which explained where he was and why the room was so damn clean.

I first let her explain to me where the river is, then, the question as to, why she knew where the river is rose a red flag in my mind. But I kept quiet. She also gave up giving me any indication when she got the idea that I had no sense of direction whatsoever. A miracle how that changed instantly when I was driving a car.

So, she decided to come with me, with her own dirty clothes too.

The river turned out to be a bit too far, took us more than I could estimate to get there. And when we did, the sun was already setting. People were leaving. Well, not all of them, just the majority.

But I was still catching up with reality since I tried to ignore the ache from my chest at the simple thought which passed my mind while walking blindly, which was: This is the longest time I stood away from Sasuke lately, and I don't feel good at all. And if I wasn't thinking about that, I was thinking about the casual way she said his name. As if she said it for millions times before, while, I didn't know what bothered me more, if Sasuke knew and accepted it, if his orders meant nothing, or if I might…just a little, feel a bit weird about the fact that I'm not the only one who calls him by his name anymore. But that's just ridiculous.

"The King's there." She announced to me, and also let me know that I wasn't convincing with those cloths in my hands. The real reason for which I was present was right in front of me, sitting on the grass by the river, with its arms covered in water and soap.

I made one step, two steps and stopped. I was stuck.

What had I intended to do after all? Why did I come all the way from home to the river? To say what, do what? After all, shouldn't it be more logical, normal and sane to ignore him, let him be, and also recover from the repeating trauma instead of forcing the note?  
>'Aren't I dumb?' I asked myself as I sighed before I took the necessary steps, and closed the distance. Standing right behind him, staring at his lean back covered in a black blouse.<p>

'And blind… you're still mourning and I didn't even notice.' I mentally slapped myself, but I still couldn't look away from him.

As if feeling my intense gaze, he looked behind him, his eyes catching my attention. I still wasn't moving or breathing for any matter. But I was there, standing and staring. Waiting for a sign, no matter if positive or negative, something, anything…felt enough in that moment. In those…black eyes.

'_In contrast with his white skin, flawless and just putting in evidence his also black eyes. Those eyes that seem to have no end. His eyes scare me the most, having a hidden pleasure behind its structure which seems to have no crack, no entrance, but still…I can see he is not afraid but content, amused, and alive.'_

"What?" He normally asked me, as if nothing bad ever happened between us.

"Nothing." I responded as I sat myself besides him, taking a pair of pants from my dirty clothes and letting it get soaked with the river's water.

We didn't talk very much, to almost not at all. But it was comfortable silence that surrounded us, a peaceful aura and a very easy mood. I wasn't afraid or disgusted by him, to my surprise. Not even when our hands accidentally touched, not even when everybody left and when I willingly rested my head on his shoulder while looking at the moon which made the river to look like it's pure flowing silver.

I gave in to his hand when he caressed the back of my head or my shoulder. I felt like a cat, would've even purred if that was possible. Everything was like before, if not better until reality kicked in.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you." His words popped out of nowhere. Intentioned of course, because he knew I would've stopped it if I would've seen it coming, but I didn't.

"We sure apologize a lot, don't you think?" I ironically asked him, not expecting an answer, but he still offered me some words.

"We do, but this time, I'm really so…"

"Don't say it!"

"But…"  
>"Shh!" I stubbornly huffed as I continued to keep the palm of my hand in front of his mouth, not looking at him, for I really was mad.<p>

I didn't want to do this anymore.

"What do you say if we make a deal?"

We were really like two kids playing by the river. At least, that's the thought that passed through my mind as we stood there in silence. Maybe it was my thought, maybe it his, or maybe it was a thought brought by the wind.

Whatever it was, I suspected Sasuke thought about it for he only nodded his head, stopping himself from commenting.

"We don't say we're sorry anymore, no matter what. We try and do something else instead of it, maybe something nice, or resolve the problem, but no more apologizing, fine?" I let it out, and immediately regret it a bit, but refused to feel that pain, for it was for the best, and I wasn't the only one to think so.

"Deal."

We returned by the morning with clean clothes in our hands and dirty clothes on our bodies. Still, we were too tired to wash. So we both jumped in the bed and fell asleep immediately. As usual, I woke up half asleep, half-awake while Sasuke was still sleeping while I watched his calm expression and felt the warmth of his body as his hands held me tight.

I still wasn't prepared for anything more. But I couldn't help the small smile which appeared on my lips as I fell asleep right away. With positive thoughts in my mind and heart. For if it would've been anybody else, I would've ran away just like last time, I would've felt fear and disgust for him. But, I just…didn't.

Because, you see…this is a special case, and as they say, there's a first for everything.

To be continued…

**AN2:**Done. Well, hope I'll be done with chapter 16 until …Sunday? Oh, come on, I'm having a writer's block, again and I keep trying to get two words out of me because I'm so late with the chapters but this is all that I succeeded to do, better than nothing, I hope :D. Well, stay tuned for the next chapter, coming soon.

PS:This chapter has been beta'd by konakisen. Like the rest of the story after all. Thank you!

**Answering reviews:**

**Cassy: **Well thank you a lot! Such praising words, so warm and so kind. I'm very happy with every word. And I hope you forgive me for being so late, life's been pretty hectic lately and to be even more ridiculous, I got rid of the cold, well, the old one, now I got it again from my father, yeah, great, hope your're healthy though. Sorry, I don't know anything about the 'Angel Egg', but I'm glad it reminds you of something you liked.

And about your theory, well, it's pretty intresting, and I'd gladly tell you if you're right or wrong, but as you said, fair game, what's the fun of guessing if not knowing what will be? But you'll find out, while I wonder what you'll say about this chapter, it's a pretty big change from the previous mood I left it in but I tried to put two and two together and the act didn't look like rape itself from my words, it was mostly in his mind. So, it's not a very drastic thing. We had to get that out of the way so...love your rambling and the most, your honesty, so don't give up on me! Thank you from the bottom of my heart, wish you good luck in all you do.

**A Fan:** Thank you very much. My first fan, made me smile, thank you again! Glad you like it. Wish you well.

**kiki2222: **Thank you a lot for telling me, happy you like it, you're very sweet. Wish you well.

So, see you next time.


	16. Chapter 16:Black and blue

**AN1:** Well, hello. As I promised, another chapter on Sunday. A bit too late since I had no internet, it rained so… not my fault, the chapter was ready! Hope you all like it. So, reading time:

**From the previous (last) chapter:**

_"We sure apologize a lot, don't you think?" I ironically asked him, not expecting an answer, but he still offered me some words._

_"We do, but this time, I'm really so…"_

_"Don't say it!"_

_"But…"  
>"Shh!" I stubbornly huffed as I continued to keep the palm of my hand in front of his mouth, not looking at him, for I really was mad.<em>

_I didn't want to do this anymore._

_"What do you say if we make a deal?"_

_We were really like two kids playing by the river. At least, that's the thought that passed through my mind as we stood there in silence. Maybe it was my thought, maybe it was his, or maybe it was a thought brought by the wind._

_Whatever it was, I suspected Sasuke thought about it for he only nodded his head, stopping himself from commenting._

_"We don't say we're sorry anymore, no matter what. We try and do something else instead of it, maybe something nice, or resolve the problem, but no more apologizing, fine?" I let it out, and immediately regret it a bit, but refused to feel that pain, for it was for the best, and I wasn't the only one to think so._

_"Deal."_

_We returned by the morning with clean clothes in our hands and dirty clothes on our bodies. Still, we were too tired to wash. So we both jumped in the bed and fell asleep immediately. As usual, I woke up half asleep, half-awake while Sasuke was still sleeping while I watched his calm expression and felt the warmth of his body as his hands held me tight._

_I still wasn't prepared for anything more. But I couldn't help the small smile which appeared on my lips as I fell asleep right away. With positive thoughts on my mind and heart. For if it would've been anybody else, I would've ran away just like last time, I would've felt fear and disgust for him. But, I just…didn't._

_Because, you see…this is a special case, and as they say, there's a first for everything._

**The actual (new) chapter:**

'If there is no struggle, there is no progress.' Frederick Douglass informed us, little ants with no brain. Though, he already said it, we still didn't understand, still didn't do anything about it. For we refused to struggle, we are afraid to struggle, therefore, we made no progress.

And for once in my life, I really wanted to take a step forward, while everybody around me refused, and stubbornly stood still like a statue. I patiently stared, with my hand under my chin, while kicking the air with my leg, temperature rising, not only in my body but also in the room.

Chapter 16: Black and blue

Ridiculous or not, the following day was pretty normal. As if, yesterday, nothing happened.

We woke up as usual, ate breakfast as usual, took a shower, dressed up and then went to practice. And in the middle of it, in the middle of the devil's woman spar with the King, well, killing the King himself, because the one I've met yesterday was gone like she never existed. Well, we've been informed that someone's been kidnapped. Something that wasn't out of the ordinary for any of us from the army, especially Sasuke, who only had to look into my eyes for two seconds to know I have to get the car. And so I did.

I don't even know when I was already so far away from the gates, with the wind against my forehead, and not to mention the sand. Didn't even know when the ride was over, and Sasuke was getting out of the car with a gun in his hand, nodding his head toward the next place I should go, leaving him there. This was harder to do than said. But I robotically did it.

Nonetheless, the minutes passed by in a dead silence. For I was sitting in the car, looking at the sky, not even looking towards the direction Sasuke should come. For I was worried as hell, I wanted him to come back now, but still…I felt like something was wrong. Because my hands trembled at the thought that this was it. I won't talk with her again like that, and not even with him.

We all got back to normal, like we should.

That's the vibe they sent to me each time I looked at them. But I wasn't satisfied. She wasn't even looking at me anymore, while Sasuke didn't look like he made any promise at all, he looked even more guilty than yesterday, and instead of saying sorry with his voice, he said sorry with his eyes. Like I countlessly tried, but he succeeded.

And I hate it.

"Get going! Now!" I heard a voice yelling and just then I realized that Sasuke was back, safe and sound, well, as safe and sound a man with a wound on his head and blood flowing from it can be.

I saw black.

"What the hell happened?!" I asked, mostly yelled as the gunshots covered up my scream, also being replaced by a woman's scream. I didn't even look at her because I already knew how she'll look like in this situation. Something I knew too well, something I couldn't stand seeing or feeling ever again.

"This is not the best moment to talk!" He yelled through the military like sounds, and if I wasn't annoyed enough. For I felt that I cried in vain, for I felt like I walked half the dessert with her yesterday, like we were only taking a walk. Not to mention that just now I realized that she only did it for me because after she arrived, she gave the clothes to some soldier who usually washed the clothes of the King, but now that the King was washing his clothes, she took that option. It wasn't mean, for I saw her walking on her own, to the same path we came, which meant, she was going home only two minutes after we arrived.

And as if nothing at all ever happened between me and Him, I was receiving the same line I got on the first day we met. When he rescued me like any other, but I proved in that day that I wasn't like any other. And somehow, along the way, I stopped and somehow, I fell silent. Letting him do all he wants to me, letting him bring back bad memories, ignoring the fact that everybody on this planet would know why he'd want to get me drunk…no to say that in the first place, why did I even let him drink? Why would a King be so weak that he'd had to drown his negative emotions when they should use it on the battlefield; or better, do something, change something, if Kings can't do anything, then his people are really doomed!

This isn't like me. I changed. And not in the good sense, and I…I had to change back.

'I won't stay still, doing nothing. No way in hell!'

I accelerated so fast, so sudden that both the rescued woman and Sasuke fell a bit on the back seats of the car. And as my anger only made me drive faster, see the road clearer, the gunshots were background sounds which were barely audible by the time I already arrived at the gates. In complete silence. The woman no longer cried, and Sasuke made no sound. But I could feel his gaze on me.

_"This is not the best moment to talk!" He said and he immediately retook his posture and started to shoot again._

_I stood there, with my head on the couch, feeling a bit dumb, a bit confused but the most, feeling annoyed. I stood up again, on the same level as he is and I started to yell at him again, ignoring the fact that he never sent me a glance, like showing me that he hears me, but somehow, I didn't stop, confident, or just knowing that he hears me perfectly._

_"Then when it is the best moment to talk? When we die? You won't answer me when everything is calm, and no one is shooting us, but you won't answer …"_

'Freaking unbelievable!' I thought as I stopped the car, got out of it, slammed the door and almost ran in the direction the King usually walked to get away from the citizens. Usually, with me. But now, I was the first one to leave, without looking back. People moved away, as I practically made holes in the ground.

Soon enough, I was back. In the underground house, almost falling off the stairs, and then ignoring the barely interested peek I received from the devil's woman as I flied with no grace whatsoever to the huge fridge. Opened the door and took out everything and anything. I didn't even look at it. Didn't even hear the exit door opening and closing, signaling someone came after me.

As I stuffed my mouth with different contents, smells and aromas which didn't even fit together, I didn't even want to notice the four eyes which were watching me curiously from the kitchen's opening.

When my stomach was full and practically begging for me to stop eating, I relaxed into the chair and after a lot or a little amount of time, not sure which one, I looked up to stare into black and green eyes. The king's and the devil's woman's, acknowledging me and offering me their precious attention, not to mention, for the first time in their lives, the gift of staying so close to each other without yelling at each other.

It'd be a surprise and I'd congratulate them if only I hadn't been so mad at both of them, and at myself.

Prepared to be the first to start yelling, and for the first time, me at them, I parted my lips, but any sound died in my throat as I realized that yelling won't do any good. So, I continued to stare at them, as they continued to stare at me. The silence's stretching endlessly, but contently.

I bit my lips while trying to think for the perfect way to approach the situation. Now that it seemed I had the upper hand, I wisely thought:

'If there is no struggle, there is no progress.' Frederick Douglass informed us, little ants with no brain. Though, he already said it, we still didn't understand, still didn't do anything about it. For we refused to struggle, we are afraid to struggle, therefore, we made no progress.

And for once in my life, I really wanted to take a step forward, while everybody around me refused, and stubbornly stood still like a statue. I patiently stared, with my hand under my chin, while kicking the air with my leg, temperature rising, not only in my body but also in the room.

Not getting up from my seat, they still didn't feel the need to sit down. I felt like a principal in front of his students, educating them through silence. Seemed like hours but the devil's woman had the shortest spam of patience or the first to call it stupid, because she was the first to talk:

"What?" She asked, only wanting to get things moving, for none of us were talking, making any gesture or giving any sign. Not even our eyes communicated right, we were all thinking of different things. For we all are different people. From different worlds, with different feelings and pasts, but it was only a matter of time for we had to realize that it's time to work with each other, not against each other. For even if we caressed and embraced, we still didn't close that gap which seemed to spread wider than the ocean itself right in this very moment.

"Something's wrong?" Sasuke asked me. They both asked me. As if they had no problem, while they were the problem! It was all about them. If she wouldn't be so proud and do things that clearly annoy him, he wouldn't have had to drink on that night, or in any other night, he wouldn't have brought back painful memories for me, then to make me run to her, to get her all mother –like, and then we wouldn't have to make any promise we knew we couldn't keep. Then to go back to what we had before like nothing happened.

'The woman we rescued today, she looked exactly like we look right now, which is…terrified.'

"Well?" He asked, but I still didn't say a word. I let them look at each other and then back at me.

"For God's sake, why did you eat all that we had in the fridge?!" Outraged, she yelled and asked, a bit of worry escaping from her green eyes, though, I realized that if I wouldn't have seen that motherly expression on her face the day when I cried in her arms, I wouldn't have seen it. They were so alike, while I was in the middle, letting me see their intimacy, the expression no one ever sees if they're not close, and their warmth. Still, I don't even know when I got so close to them.

'Am I even close to them?'

"You're too stuck up and she has too much pride." I started and at this, they only looked at each other to look back at me and start yelling, words I dismissed with a raised hand.

"We need to collaborate and we can't do that if we keep hurting each other. I'm no genius, but I can tell something happened between you two before I got in the picture, but I don't freaking care what, how or when! Just fucking stop yelling at each other, running from each other, we're not kids anymore!"

This only got them to shut up, but this time, they no longer looked at each other, but only at me. With wide eyes, a bit annoyed, a bit resigned for I was right and when I knew I was right, well… I was the one who won't shut up now.

'And damn, this feels good.'

"So…you freaking act like a King, and you freaking act like his soldier." I said, pointing with my finger. "If you don't like what you freaking are then fucking do something else!" I continued, and when they both turned around, I understood that they got the wrong message.

"Hey! Don't you freaks turn your back on me! I'm saying the truth!" I yelled, as loud as my lungs let me. And in response I got even a louder and also, a double response.

"We know!" They yelled, this time, together, in the same time. Just like freaking…kids.

Hours passed by, not as fast as I would've wanted. Instead, it was like the seconds were minutes and the minutes were hours.

After my outburst, and their outburst. No one talked with the other. Sasuke was outside training, instead of drinking. Guess he choose to put his anger in his sword. And she was on the couch reading something. Guess she choose to stay home instead of taking a walk.

It was some kind of progress going on. But it wasn't exactly what I expected. For I was left alone in the bedroom with nothing to do, and what I succeeded seemed a bit unimportant to me since I wasn't doing anything for my own progress.

But for the second time today, I refused to stay and do nothing. So I 'fucked it all' theoretically and got out of the bedroom, walked to the couch and sat down in front of it. She was already looking at me, wondering what I was doing. But I wasn't going to let her have the upper hand, like I didn't all day. Just…not today. At least.

"What are you reading?" I innocently asked. Though it was a dumb question, I could see the title if I bowed a bit, still, with a sigh and with probably, the realization of what I was doing, she answered:

"Poetry."

"Huh?" A bit surprised by the answer for even if I could, I didn't look at the cover. Now that I got my answer, I almost forced the book from her hands to mine as I scanned the page, and only succeeded to read these two short lines:  
>'There's hope left for tomorrow,<p>

But there's no one left…'

For she took the book from my hands immediately.

"What? I like poetry too!" I informed her but she didn't buy it, instead, she let a frown play on her face while her cheeks turned to a light pink color and I couldn't stop the thought which appeared out of nowhere which was pretty obvious:

'She's beautiful.'

Until now, I didn't see her as anything more than what she showed. Didn't see her as a woman at all. Though it was obvious, she had so much pride, so much skill and yet, I didn't see her for what she was… a woman. Hell, when she first acted like one, I was drunk and crying. So…

"Then go find your own book."

"Yeah, yeah."

I said as I got up, smiling. For it was funny. She even playfully hit me with the book as I walked away and left her on her own. For she seemed comfortable and now, even more. Halfway, I found myself walking towards the stairs, and outside. Nothing but grass and a soft wind welcomed me. But I knew he was around here, after all, I still trained with him, even if she annoyed him by being too enthusiast and set to strike, he still took my hand and walked far away from there to the forest where the grass was greener and the tress higher. The place where we first trained.

"Too much energy, huh?" I asked him, still smiling, for it was a warm feeling I was getting from both of them, or it was just me.

"You're one to talk." He responded with a smirk as he hit the invisible person he's sparring with.

"Hey, I had enough training, you've only started."  
>"That's because I like it while you hate it."<p>

"It's not that I hate it, is just…"  
>"I know…"<br>It got personal, but not quite. For anyone could tell I wasn't enjoying fighting. Yes, it made me feel good even if it drained my energy, but I preferred to watch him instead of join him. And that's exactly what I did as I sat on the grass, resting my back and head against a huge old but still green tree.

"So lazy…"

"Leave me alone."

We taunted each other with smiles on our faces.

For it was exactly what I wanted… what I said changed the ordinary.

'This should be the usual.' I told myself as I closed my eyes and inhaled the fresh air.

I could hear him dancing with the air, maneuvering his sword against it, and winning.

And soon enough, I was drowning in the scent of grass and wind, in the song of his body colliding with the air quick and strong enough to be called a song, skilled enough to be dangerous.

Smelling and hearing, but seeing nothing but black, I fell asleep.

I opened my eyes. And from the view I could tell that I slept at least more than one hour. For it was already night and the moon and stars blinked at me from the heavens. While I realized my head was on Sasuke's lap, he's now the one with his back and head against the huge old but green tree, with his hands playing with my hair. He isn't looking at me so he doesn't see I'm awake now, he's staring straight ahead, into the unknown, as I examine his now familiar features calmly. Giving in to his touch. He must've noticed I moved my head so that he caressed it, because he looked down at me.

His expression didn't change much; instead, it only got better, warmer, along with his black eyes.

The night wasn't cold, the wind was soft, barely moving our hair or the trees, just enough so it wasn't too hot. The grasshoppers sang their song in the background; still, the seconds when no sound was heard made me close my eyes as I remembered:

_*' "I'm…" I tried even though my voice was still broken, and Sasuke covered my lips with his hand in the instant when he realized what I was about to say._

'…_sorry' I continued in my mind as a tear made its existence known for the last time that night, as I also felt warm lips touching my cold forehead. Maybe if the situation would be more ordinary, he'd be cold, and I'd be warm, but it seems even the temperature of your body was reversed, since I almost froze to death, and his blood felt to be boiling underneath his porcelain skin. However, his kiss on my forehead made me close my eyes and relax, give in to his warmth and comfort offered to me._

_The touch of his lips lingered on my forehead. He continued to keep his lips above it, breathing on it, as his hands were reassuring themselves that I'm beside him, his body underneath his, breathing, holding me like he was the one who's not fine, not me. But I didn't mind. I was already feeling better just because he was also reassuring me that he's the one holding me, beside me, above me, breathing._

'_Cause maybe, just maybe…_

'_I've been worried about him too…'_

_That's what I was thinking when his lips lingered on my own lips, breathing on my lips, just above. I didn't mind. Our lips never touched, but I knew that he won't force himself on me anymore, he was only showing me what he felt, and this time, I was sure he won't close that distance anymore, at least, not without my approval._

_All I had to do was to put a bit strength in the hand that was already on the back of his head, in his raven hair, just to pull the head a bit closer to mine, and we'd kiss. All I had to do was to push myself up a little bit, a bit closer to him, just a bit up, and we'd kiss._

_But for a reason I can't explain to myself, I didn't.*'_

My eyes opened slowly as I felt tears threatening to get out. But I didn't allow myself to be weak so I didn't let them. For him and for myself. I had to be strong. No matter how weird it is or how different we are.

So, with only one thought in mind, I did what I waited for him to do, but this time, I took it for myself. I wasn't going to wait anymore.

'I don't want to lose you too.'

With this thought, I lift my hand and put it on the back of his head, pushed his head down a bit more as I pushed myself up a bit too. Bringing our lips together.

'So, I just…won't.'

Maybe he was a bit surprised, maybe he wasn't. Either way, he took control right after. Bowing so that I didn't have to push myself up anymore. One hand on my cheek and one hand on my neck.

'I won't let you go.'

I parted my lips on instinct or maybe because he also parted his. I let him taste my mouth as I also tasted his. Our lips, our tongues and our breathing colliding and becoming one.

'I won't run anymore.'

When it ended, we both stared into each other's eyes.

Black and blue.

We hesitantly got up after maybe half an hour of just sitting together, doing nothing but looking at the star-filled sky.

'_The sky was a painting of black and white.'_

When we got inside, she was already sleeping and we were almost too.

Slowly walked to the bedroom and crashed on the bed.

And embraced, we slept. And I dreamt:

_The background of the painting was represented by heavy black clouds which sustained the white snowflakes, just like they were ornaments attached to the sad heavens. While I usually thought the sky was a mixture of many other colors combined into the celestial sphere, creating one unique piece of art in every second of every single day._

'I don't want to remember.'

_But not tonight, and not in the place I was standing where the time stood still and waited. Waited for me to give my last breath in the frigid air. So, I was receiving all of the anger and the sorrow that was above my head, a head like any other from this planet. However, I had to be the one who witnessed this spectacle, a dark miracle of the nature._

'Wake up already.'

_Well, me and him._

_A normal person would've got scared. At least a little bit. Because you don't meet a cat, with greenish yellow eyes in the middle of a forest, while is snowing, every day, to no day at all. But the cat didn't get scared of me, and for a reason I couldn't understand, still blamed the reason on my metal state in that moment, because I also wasn't scared of the cat._

'Wait…there was a cat…'

_At first, I didn't even notice its existence, until I felt its tiny black nose on my cold cheek. I didn't acknowledge it, not even then, just when I felt its small tongue licking my tears; I opened my eyes after a long time of keeping them closed._

'I forgot about the cat…'

_Looking in the eyes of the cat, I felt no fear, no emotion whatsoever, only content that the cat was beside me. Watching me, pointing at me, and breathing in me. It might've seemed normal for me that the cat was there, in that moment, in the dead of the night and of the forest, though it didn't look like any ordinary cat, but realization soon washed away my numbness when the eyes of the cat seemed to speak to me. But only for a second._

"Naruto!"

_I heard my name being called and in instinct, I looked up to what I thought would be the direction from where the voice called. And after a moment or two, or maybe entire minutes, I noticed a glimpse of artificial light coming from the black blanket of the forest and of its high old trees. Also, in some unknown instinct, I looked at my right where the pale sandy-yellow cat was, or used to be because it wasn't there anymore. Nothing was. There was not even one paw in the freshly collected snow as evidence that the cat has ever been there._

"Wake up!"

"Huh?" I said as I rose up as if burned. For the dream didn't want to let go of its grip. It didn't let me move, didn't let me wake up. And all I could remember when I got up were the eyes. The eyes of the cat.

"I made breakfast. Come on." He was changing his clothes, but I wasn't even attentive. Wasn't awake. My mind was filled with questions.

'How could I forget? Damn it…'

This time, I really got up, from the bed. And I really ran to Sasuke's books from the main room. I started pulling one after another, opening them, many of them had no pictures but I really tried not to think about it. The language was still foreign to me.

As if wanting to make a scene like yesterday. Though, none of them were made intentional. They were once again, standing side by side, her on the couch and he besides her standing, looking at me curiously. With wide eyes.

I almost finished all the books from the whole huge bookcase and I felt very disappointed for I found nothing at all. At the end, of course, I kept the only book I knew how to read. 'The Uchiha clan', one page after the other, their history and their eyes. As I recalled for I didn't forget any of it since the last time I read it. Or mostly, looked at it and made an idea about what it was about.

'No information about the cat, maybe in some picture…'

I didn't hear her get up from her seat. But as I stopped at a certain photo with another family but with no cat, my eyes automatically looked at her, while her hand was already stretched out and prepared to close the book. But I already saw the picture so it was too late anyway.

She remained in that position, as I continued to see the differences the time has made over her features. While Sasuke was looking everywhere else but at us. He must've expected this outcome. But I didn't.

"I can explain…" She said, but there was nothing to explain, and she knew it. I wasn't from their clan, I had no idea why they were killed and the book didn't either .However, the only survivor should be Sasuke, but no. This woman was one too. I should be happy for her, for both of them. But from her reaction, I could tell something wasn't good, not even Sasuke, because from his reaction I could tell he already knew.

"You're an Uchiha?" I asked, whispered as she looked at the ground. For the first time, with no pride, but ashamed.

To be continued…

**AN2:** Just in time. Sorry though it's not so long. It's a miracle I wrote two chapters in such a short amount of time, it never happened for me before but I've done it. For the readers of course. Though, I don't want to do it again…see you next Friday…hope it won't happen like this one. But you got two chapters on a row so yeah… This chapter is beta'd by konakisen.

So, wondering who She is? Take a guess or give me ideas (kidding, or not), what about the cat? What about anything and everything. Stay tuned. And don't hesitate to ask me or tell me your theory.

**Answering reviews:**

**Cassy:** Thank you so much for still reading, still reviewing, you can't imagine how grateful I am, and how you ambitioned me to keep on writing, so, honestly, thank you. Don't know if it's about your 'get better wish' or mine, but the cold really passed as quickly as it came. I'm glad the so much for rape but not really, looked and felt like I wanted it to be, for it was meant to be that way. After all, Sasuke meant no harm, as you can tell from what I said, he didn't hurt him, didn't abuse him, he was drunk but he was making love! Naruto felt it that way, from his…ahem, past experience. Oh, and about the 'King' dealing with stress, you'll see about him more from now on and from her too, just a hint :D Well, now you have the next chapter, maybe it helped or only brought more questions but now it's here! The suspense too : ))


	17. Chapter 17:Thunderstorm 1

**AN1: **Well, hello. Don't throw rocks at me yet, the chapter is done so...the white flag up! I know I said it'll be on Sunday but my birthday is on 30th and that's Tuesday, and today is Sunday so I celebrated with my friends earlier, to celebrate Sunday too but with my family. So...no time. But it's here nonetheless, I'm very sorry it took so long, but now I have the plot going smooth again so…there might be no more stops like this is the near future. So, reading time (finally):

**From the previous (last) chapter:**

_"Wake up!"_

_"Huh?" I said as I rose up as if burned. For the dream didn't want to let go of its grip. It didn't let me move, didn't let me wake up. And all I could remember when I got up were the eyes. The eyes of the cat._

_"I made breakfast. Come on." He was changing his clothes, but I wasn't even attentive. Wasn't awake. My mind was filled with questions._

_'How could I forget? Damn it…'_

_This time, I really got up, from the bed. And I really ran to Sasuke's books from the main room. I started pulling one after another, opening them, many of them had no pictures but I really tried not to think about it. The language was still foreign to me._

_As if wanting to make a scene like yesterday. Though, none of them were made intentional. They were once again, standing side by side, her on the couch and he besides her standing, looking at me curiously. With wide eyes._

_I almost finished all the books from the whole huge bookcase and I felt very disappointed for I found nothing at all. At the end, of course, I kept the only book I knew how to read. 'The Uchiha clan', one page after the other, their history and their eyes. As I recalled for I didn't forget any of it since the last time I read it. Or mostly, looked at it and made an idea about what it was about._

_'No information about the cat, maybe in some picture…'_

_I didn't hear her get up from her seat. But as I stopped at a certain photo with another family but with no cat, my eyes automatically looked at her, while her hand was already stretched out and prepared to close the book. But I already saw the picture so it was too late anyway._

_She remained in that position, as I continued to see the differences the time has made over her features. While Sasuke was looking everywhere else but at us. He must've expected this outcome. But I didn't._

_"I can explain…" She said, but there was nothing to explain, and she knew it. I wasn't from their clan, I had no idea why they were killed and the book didn't either .However, the only survivor should be Sasuke, but no. This woman was one too. I should be happy for her, for both of them. But from her reaction, I could tell something wasn't good, not even Sasuke, because from his reaction I could tell he already knew._

_"You're an Uchiha?" I asked, whispered as she looked at the ground. For the first time, with no pride, but ashamed._

**The actual (new) chapter:**

There are cases in life, too many to enumerate, when you know somebody since they were little kids, and even if not, you know someone so well that you already know what they're thinking before they even say it. Their preferences in clothes and music, allergies and favorite hobbies.

But somehow, all of this takes only one second to be shattered, by maybe, a person, a secret, or maybe just that they were someone else on the inside, and even if just one thing is different from what we thought, it can be enough to ruin everything you had for them before.

A person telling you that you don't know who you're staying with, a secret that gets revealed after a long time, or just the person them-self saying that they're not who you thought they were. It's a shame, and you can be forgiven, but you don't know if you will be cast aside instead.

In my case, it only took one photograph to shatter what I had with not only one person, but two.

**Chapter 17: **Thunderstorm (Part 1)

And even if I can't say if I know her so well that I know what she's thinking, because if I did, it would be easier to deal with the present situation. For I couldn't see her eyes which are staring at the plain ground, and I didn't even know if I should be mad or not; however, something in me broke.

'Why didn't you tell me? You knew, but you didn't tell me!'

I was mostly mad at him, not at her. Or maybe I was annoyed with both of them. Nonetheless, I was really mad at myself, for I didn't get it. I felt dumb. And I hated feeling left out of something that I should've known, should've caught from the tension that rose in the room.

But I just…didn't.

"What's happening?!" I was asking them and myself.

I was really confused, for something should've cleared the situation by now. But the only clues were that she seemed ashamed, even though it was the first time I saw her looking like that, I wanted it to stop; and he still pretending that it rained even if there's a ceiling above our head, not to mention that we are underground.

'Somebody give me a hint.'

I was begging with my eyes but no one paid attention to me. They are both absorbed in their own worlds. In their faults, while I don't even know why I should be accusing them.

The book suddenly felt heavy in my hands, for I almost forgot I was still holding it open in front of me, until I had almost dropped it. I was looking once again at the photograph, looking for something, for anything that I should've already noticed.

'But what?'

_*'The pictures were in white and black, as old as the book, or even older, but the eyes from the previous chapter showed that even their irises change, but their eyes seemed normal, a little icy, but nothing more.'*_

Her eyes however, didn't seem to be icy. I don't know how I didn't notice her eyes by the time I first checked the book, though, it must be because she's so small beside her parents.

Maybe because she was a just a child, I think she was the same age as Sasuke when the picture was taken, or only within a year younger. However, she looked happy, not a care in the world. Someone so different from what she was in the present because even if she was calm, she still looked like she controlled the situation; she just gave that aura. But not then. She held the hand of her parent. Looking…safe.

_*'Under every picture were the names of the ones who were in the picture, and they all ended with Uchiha. Which soon started to annoy me because even if this was an 'Uchiha clan' book, it was like nobody else was ever allowed on their earth.*'_

I thought that it was because of the white and black pictures that I got the feeling that everybody's eyes from the clan are, or more or less, were black. Didn't even think twice about the fact that her eyes are green, but now, staring underneath the photograph, her name screamed: she's one of them, but not quite.

'Tamiko Sasaki? Not Uchiha? Then why is she in the Uchiha's book? And why didn't she deny when I asked if she's an Uchiha?'

"I don't get it." I stated as I closed the book harshly in front of my very eyes and of theirs, with a clear sound which had them both look at me, just because I couldn't stop myself from looking at her happy young face or at the name.

And also because… 'I can't stand the silence anymore.' The thought quietly passed and left.

"One of you, explain it. I just don't get it. Your last name is Sasaki, not Uchiha, but still…you're in the book. But why or how…it's just byword me." I calmly told them, but they didn't look amused at my confession, instead, they looked even more negative at the news which was that one of them had to say the truth.

It isn't my business. Why I'm even digging up the mystery of the Uchiha clan when I'm nothing to them, I'll never know. But after finding out Sasuke's name and all that. After getting stuck on this 'Underwater Town' and not even wanting to go back to my hometown which isn't a home anyway, all that I succeeded to do was to also get one more Uchiha around me or…a Sasaki. Nonetheless, someone that is in the Uchiha's clan's history.

'I'm yet to learn if her eyes are indeed…red.'

My eyes kept changing their target. From Sasuke to the devil's woman…no, to Tamiko.

Even though she indeed looked up to me when I confessed that I was completely clueless, she returned her glance to the floor. So my gaze had no influence on her oblivious eyes. So I stared at the only one left, the King itself. But my eyes were powerless against his trained ones or maybe it just ran in its blood for them to look so icy and invincible.

"Tell me…" I talked with him but I wasn't able to beg more than this for his lips parted right after.

"It's not mine to tell."

As if he heard all of internal struggle. But I was still really furious that he said no word and kept it a secret. Not as if he even said anything about him or anybody else. Because I learned his name from a book, and had to ask his soldiers for his personal life.

Well…why did I expect something else? Why had this felt any different?

As if I just called her name, she looked up. Into my eyes. Deep, after them. As if asking for permission to keep quiet, to be left alone, only for one more second. Or maybe for forever. I couldn't tell.

"What's the big deal?!" I yelled as she walked away. Got on the stairs, and outside.

I turned my gaze to Sasuke once again for he was the only one left in the room. The only one who held the answers but he wasn't impressed. He stood straighter.

We ate breakfast in silence. And it was slowly swallowing me. There was pressure on my shoulders. And the tension didn't disappear; instead, it was so dense I didn't even dare to think about it. Only ate and stared at the contents of my plate. Surprisingly, he did the same.

The day passed by, ordinary and quiet. Well, saving people from death is ordinary for us. It was harder at the start for me, but it isn't anymore. I even get to think when everything around me explodes and people die or fly in the desert's sand.

One day passed, two days passed, then, a bit more and I just couldn't stop thinking about it. Searching for a clue, an explanation, in their eyes, in their silence, in the book for I occasionally took it, or like slept with it underneath my pillow.

What I discovered?

Only one tiny thing even if it was probably obvious. But it was better than nothing. In the photographs, the ones who held her small hands had no features like her, or she didn't have any features like them. It wasn't hard to tell. Because even if the photograph was black and white, and old, it was so clear, I could see every mole.

So, now I was one hundred percent sure that they aren't her parents. Not only her surname wasn't Uchiha but not even her blood. But what she was doing there, why did they even take the picture with her in it? No idea.

"Come on Sasuke; just tell me something, anything!"

For the first time, Sasuke was the most approachable. Tamiko was ignoring me completely, as if I was just breathing and screaming air. Since then, I didn't hear a word from her. She wasn't talking anymore. Not with me, at least. Not even with Sasuke. But that wasn't something new. She didn't talk with him before. Actually, it'd be weird for them to start talking.

"I already said that it's not mine to tell." He calmly talked as he turned a page from his book. Sitting in the bed comfortably after a long day of training. Only training, no one needed to be saved today. But I was still tired. And I was also stubborn for I wouldn't give up so easily. I wish I could. It was a blessing and a curse.

"Fine. You don't have to tell me everything! Just give me a clue. The book is useless. And she won't talk to me anymore. I can only talk to you!" I childishly loudly mumbled to him as I jumped on the bed, at his right.

A shock or not, he looked up from the book, closed it after and left it on the nightstand. He moved closer to me on the bed, giving me his entire attention.

I can't lie for it kind of freaked me out because it was the biggest amount of attention I got in the last days, or weeks. And I was scared to enjoy it. I was still thinking about what I said that it made him act like that when his words made it clear:

"And what would you do for a clue?"

'He's not dumb, but I'm not either.'

Of course he saw me struggling to get it over it and call it quits. Of course he saw the book which still made my pillow a bit too hard underneath my head. And of course he'd take advance of it since our last real interaction has been in the night before I had that dream which reminded me of what I had to do.

"It depends…how evil are you?" Bored and a bit annoyed, I inquired.

His smirk proved me that he's completely not in his right mind. I suddenly got all self-conscious and protective of my own body.

"It depends of how much you're offering."

"Stop it there cowboy…can't you just…tell me without anything in return?"

I asked, shuttering, with my cheeks advancing a few colors. Hoping they're only pink and that the darkness that drowned the bedroom would mask it. But his smirk only grew wider and I was somehow sure he enjoyed the show.

It felt like deja vu. The state he was in. This blind happiness, the movements that didn't fit, as if he's replaying a scene again.

_*'When he was fully dressed, he turned around to look at me once again, as I fully began to be conscious about my red cheeks. A smirk appeared, and the humiliation from staring grew into anger for him, seeming to do it all on purpose._

_"What's wrong with you?!" I asked and this time, yelled, for his smirk grew into an almost whole smile._

_"You're enjoying the view?" He said in something that seemed to be a playful voice, and expression._

_The change of personality, the change of reactions and stares made me almost ask if he was the same person at all._

_'It's as if…he's replaying this…as if…he's talking with someone else…like last night…' The thought had no logic whatsoever, but his eyes showed the same emotion like the ones he had last night while drinking. Although, last night, I thought they were like that because of the wine, but it seemed, he has them when he's also sober.*'_

"How many times do I have to tell you, it's not mine to tell… so if I get good bribery, I won't feel so bad."

His principles seemed to evaporate in the thin air. And the sentence was long, in one breath. I was already used to talking with him but it just seemed so different from what he usually says and lately, there were only very short lines. It was weird, but I was prepared to play the game if it means I get to win something in the end.

"Fine, but I'm letting you know. I've got no money. I don't know how the other soldiers maintain their families with the salary you're giving." I complained while already checking my pockets.

But every movement stopped when lips breathed upon mine. The long hair from the front, framing his face, tickled my cheeks but I didn't mind, while his left hand rested positively on my right shoulder. Moving me down, laying me on the mattress.

'What's happening with me?'

I feel bewitched. By his lips, breathing and touch. He barely does anything but from that pink blush I had earlier; I think that now I'm a tomato ready to be sold in Italy's richest market.

"Sa…"

At least I tried.

Just before his lips crushed mine. The heat is invading my whole body. Boiling me at a small fire, driving me insane, for I wanted more; his tongue entered and left my mouth and his hands touched my body, yet, they didn't. Not enough.

And just when I was about to complain, he got up and left me ravished on the also disturbed mattress.

'Why?'

I also sat on my butt, trying to be composed and act as if it didn't matter. But deep down, something hurt. For he looked like he had enough, while I was burning up with desire and disgust for my own self.

'I should know my place already.' I calmed myself while arranging my clothes.

"Well? The clue?" I whispered, continuing our conversation, or ruining it.

"What do you want to know?" He casually asked, but in my cloudy state. All I wanted was to get back one second ago.

'What do I want to know?' I asked myself for the next minutes, hoping it's been only seconds. But I couldn't get my eyes off his lips. And to put a cherry on top, he even licked them.

'God, take me now!'

"W-Who…" I tried but my voice was trembling, dying before it got outside. Whispering so low I couldn't hear myself either.

"What?" Amused, for he was smirking again, he asked for me to repeat.

"Who are the people from the picture with Tamaki?" I asked, still not completely recovered.

"Her adoptive parents." He calmly responded.

"And wh…" He cut me off.

"No. You only paid for one clue."

"W-what? Are you freaking kidding me?"  
>My face was burning red but he seemed to be in a good mood. Though I didn't know how to deal with it, for it didn't sound too bad to me, which annoyed me even more, but I was already forcing the note. One time was a thing, but to do it again…<p>

"Do I seem to be in a kissing booth? Or what?!" I yelled with an anger I didn't feel for him.

"Who said we're only stopping at kissing? The second clue is more expensive, we're both adults here."

"You…pervert King!" This time, I yelled. In embarrassment, of course.

He almost laughed when we both stopped. I even ignored the hand which was resting on my knee, I also ignored the ache I felt when the hand was gone. The knock on the door made us both act like we should and what we are. Friends. No?

"Sorry to bother but there's a soldier who wants to talk to the King." Tamiko informed us, with her eyes still in the floor. Every time I was in the room, she won't even look at me. The only exception would be at the training when she'd fight with her head up, of course.

Sasuke only nodded in affirmation. Deciding he didn't even needed to talk to her. He was a bastard if it wasn't about me. I should've felt proud, his special case. I always did. Until I saw that picture and found out she's also from his clan.

"You could've said a word, you know."

I complained in her name. Though I wouldn't know if it bothered her. For what bothered her, is that he is a King and she isn't. Though that wouldn't surprise me.

'Bring it on, bastard!'

"She understood what I said."

"Yeah and how do you know that? You read minds or something? Just open your damn mouth!"

"I think I just did that a minute ago." He playfully continued, ignoring my anger, taunting me for it seemed he got the message.

'I freaking enjoyed it too much.'

Until now, it'd been comfortable. Something we did once in a while. But now, he's hinting at it, as if wanting to tell something. But making me blush won't get him nowhere, I wonder how much will take him to understand that. Or how much, it will take me to realize what he's really trying to tell me.

After talking, or mostly me yelling at him, and him, smirking at me, we finally got outside the room and it seemed to be important for they retreated in the kitchen, instead of staying in the main room, where I and Tamiko could hear them.

"So…"  
>I started when I was left standing in the middle of the main room, with only Tamiko. Reading a book again, at the same time Sasuke did.<p>

'I swear they're so much alike and they don't even care!'

Of course there was no reply from her. And of course I was too stubborn to give up when I realized what I must do to get something out of the King.

"Look, all I was able to find out is that the ones that are beside you in the picture aren't your real parents, but you're adoptive parents. I'm really sorry for your loss… I kind of know how it's like to…"

"Stop it." She finally talked. Only to make me shut up.

"Why?" I asked as I closed my eyes. To open them again at the sound of a too loudly closed book.

"At the time the picture was taken, they weren't dead. That wasn't why I was adopted by the Uchiha clan."

She finally started to tell me. With no reason whatsoever, or at least, that's how it seemed for me. But I felt a bit relieved. If only Sasuke and that soldier would remain in the kitchen long enough for me to hear the whole story, then, I would be able to die happy.

"Then, why did they adopt you? I don't get it. Just spare me from another headache. Please!"

Her sigh, wasn't one of relief, but mostly, exasperation. But I hoped from the core of my being that it meant that she'll tell me everything.

"Just think, Naruto. What does Tamiko mean? Is that my only name? What about the name I got after? The name Yoko means…?"

This was all she wanted to tell me. Nothing about family names. But her real name and the name she got after. I supposed from her adoptive family. But why were they so important? And they changed her name after…what? Before… what?

I only got more questions.

"I give up."

I confessed to Sasuke between sips of hot chocolate, in the middle of our breakfast.

"You give up what?" He asked between sips of black coffee. No sugar.

"The 'Sasaki' mystery… it's hopeless. All you told me is that those were adoptive parents and then she said that she has two names, one before and one after, before what? After what? The hell?!"

Silence and after it, came the sound of his cup on the flat and cold kitchen's table surface.

"Tell me the names."

"What do you know about the names' meanings?"

"Plenty, now, do you want my help or not?"

Our eyes locked within a challenge. Which he won.

"Fine. One of them is Tamiko, duh, but I have no idea what it means…"

"Child of the people." He mostly dictated and my mouth was left hanging.

"You…"

"And the other name?"

"Yoko and it means sunny child, but it doesn't explains anything, it only makes the adoptive parents look good." I mumbled as I lifted my own cup from the table.

"You're right but there are two sides of this name, it also means foreign child." His teeth clenched when he said the word foreign and suddenly, I didn't see the adoptive parents in such a positive light.

"As if, this is the name she got after and they labeled her to be a stranger for the Uchiha clan, every time somebody called her name? I don't freaking get it…"

"Man, you're dumb lately." He stated.  
>"You son of a…" I started.<br>"My mother wasn't a bitch." The King softly explained to me.  
>"Why am I dumb? You two are the ones who don't explain it to me, as if they gain something from it! I can't change what happened, I just want to help! What's wrong with it, huh?!" I screamed and the adrenaline made me sit up from my chair.<p>

However, he wasn't impressed. He only sipped further and then friendly ordered me:

"Sit down."

I indeed sat down. With no reason but that I felt ridiculous. He wasn't angry or insulting me, he was calm and collected. And in his black eyes, I spotted sadness.

"Look," He started as he put the cup down and played with it between his palms. "Her real name is Tamiko Sasaki, which means 'child of the people', from the start; she was doomed to be given to someone else for fortune or fame. Her real parents had no intention to keep her. So they gave her this name to never forget it until they sold her for good. The photograph was taken before her name changed to Uchiha, before they changed even her first name which is Yoko, a two faced name. For the people, meaning sunny child, for the adoptive parents meaning foreign child. The people indeed loved her, but not her parents, none of them. And they never let her forget that, not even when they died, the real and the adoptive ones. She only survived because of her pride and anger. It's all that she has left."

I was stunned to hear all this, I was completely dumbfounded how clear it all seemed and how it all clicked together, but not…all of it.

"But…how do you know all this?"

"Naruto, does your brain function, is there even one in there?" He asked, with no smile, but with no harm intentioned either.

"Yes." I responded, bored and with a frown. Trying not to get hurt for I knew I had no luck in this case. My mind was simply stuck, on its own cloud, while I still didn't felt as bad as I should feel for not discovering anything on my own.

'Seems I rusted. Maybe…'

"How do you take someone's name, if you're a girl, especially? Now, think!" He said, and with his hand, touched my head. "Think."

Silence, outside and inside my head. It simply didn't function, indeed. No idea came to me. No thought. Nothing, but his big hand on my forehead.

"I don't know…"

"Come on, it's so simple. Girls take boys name, when they…what? When they what, Naruto?"

"When they…" My eyes went wide with realization as his hand went from my forehead to my cheek, caressing it as if protecting me from harm. But it wasn't enough to keep my heart from aching at the first though which finally passed through my head. As I honestly wished my head would've never thought again.

"Marry?"

'With you?'

To be continued…

Well, isn't it lovely? Or insane? But it's done! Not too long but I guess it's heaven since I was able to write this with my writer's blockage still alive…it won't die. So…sorry. But I guess there is better quality than quantity since many things are going on lately. Or is it just me?

Thank you very much, the one who voted my poll. The only one to be more exact. I wish I'd know who you are but thank you nonetheless. It helped me realize what I really wanted.

This chapter is beta'd by konakisen.

The next update will be on Sunday. See you then.

Hope you liked it. Thank you very much for reading.


	18. Chapter 18:Thunderstorm 2

**AN1: **Hey, it's done. Not as long as I wished it to be but for me, it's enough. The next chapter will be longer, I hope, but there are new and many things to say so yeah…this is a hint and an apology for the chapter not being so long. Anyway, hope you enjoy:

**From the previous (last) chapter:**

"_But…how do you know all this?"_

"_Naruto, does your brain function, is there even one in there?" He asked, with no smile, but with no harm intentioned either._

"_Yes." I responded, bored and with a frown. Trying not to get hurt for I knew I had no luck in this case. My mind was simply stuck, on its own cloud, while I still didn't felt as bad as I should feel for not discovering anything by my own._

'_Seems I rusted. Maybe…'_

"_How do you take someone's name, if you're a girl, especially? Now, think!" He said, and with his hand, touched my head. "Think."_

_Silence, outside and inside my head. It simply didn't function, indeed. No idea came to me. No thought. Nothing, but his big hand on my forehead._

"_I don't know…"_

"_Come on, it's so simple. Girls take boys name, when they…what? When they what, Naruto?"_

"_When they…" My eyes went wide with realization as his hand went from my forehead to my cheek, caressing it as if protecting me from harm. But it wasn't enough to keep my heart from aching at the first thought which finally passed through my head. As I honestly wished my head would've never thought again._

"_Marry?"_

'_With you?'_

**The actual (new) chapter:**

There are cases in life, too many to enumerate, when you know somebody since they were little kids, and even if not, you know someone so well that you already know what they're thinking before they even say it. Their preferences in clothes and music, allergies and favorite hobbies.

But somehow, all of this takes only one second to be shattered, by maybe, a person, a secret, or maybe just that they were someone else on the inside, and even if just one thing is different from what we thought, it can be enough to ruin everything you had for them before.

A person telling you that you don't know who you're staying with, a secret that gets revealed after a long time, or just the person itself saying that they're not who you thought they were. It's a shame, and you can be forgiven, but you don't know if you will be cast aside instead.

Chapter 18:Thunderstorm (Part 2)

In this moment, it was the person itself who wanted everything to be shattered.

Or at least, this is how it felt when the hand never left my cheek; instead, caressed it further. And to my own shame, I relaxed into his palm, enjoying the comforting sensation. Even if the pain never released my chest, it felt as if there was no air in my lungs.

"It wasn't so hard, wasn't it?" A smirk appeared on his features.

And this is when my mind went blank; my body drowned in pain, so bad and so fast, that I wasn't feeling anything at all, only the excruciating vividness. As if my spirit left my body, and looked at the present situation with wide blue eyes.

I rose up, and I didn't even feel the movement like I should. It felt like I was floating, like I was drunk, or just…suffocating.

"Are you okay? You suddenly turned pale…" His worried voice annoyed me even more.

I walked away without looking behind, without acknowledging his presence or his questions.

And just when I made the second step from outside the kitchen, I heard someone coming down the stairs, running so fast it was a surprise the person didn't fall.

"Kidnapped…a man…" Like always, talking while catching his breath. I understood immediately. I parted my lips to call the King, just to put them together. I seriously considered the idea of going to save the man by myself.

"What?"

If only the King didn't come after me. Now, his attention was on the panting soldier but I was still in my own world. I was now angry at myself. Just for thinking of leaving him behind.

In a few minutes, there was only me and him, in the car. Driving like mad, only to be left outside the gates of the kidnappers again, and then waiting for him again. Sorting my thoughts out has never been so hard when I refused to think with my entire being. Refusing the pain but welcoming the numbness.

"Done." Sasuke informed me as he sat in the car, beside the stranger.

Though, even in my misery. I still couldn't stop glancing at the person we saved from time to time. For he was dead silent. And even if I wanted to brag about how calm I was, I still screamed when I'd been in his place, not out of fear but anger. But still… I screamed. He said nothing, not even when we arrived. There were no words of gratitude, no questions. Nothing at all.

It should've been a sign for me to stay put. But as I watched as Sisay took his hand just like she took my hand. Something inside me got troubled and disturbed once again.

We got back to the underground house. And Sasuke must've noticed I wasn't in a good mood. But I still believed he didn't get why I was so upset. Hell, neither did I get it. But just the thought that they might be married hit me straight and deadly.

So, he kept quiet and so did I. As we ate, took showers, one after the other and then slipped into warm blankets. The only words spoken through the entire process being: Good night.

But it wasn't so good. Because I couldn't fall asleep for the life of me!

Moving from left to right, the pillow under my head, the pillow beside my head, then the blanket on me, or not. Only to stop my shifting to meet his calm face, his sleeping posture and the ruffled hair. I didn't even think when I gently took the rebel black hairs from his face, and put them back. Didn't realize I was above him, almost kissing him, caressing him. For I didn't want to realize that the pain was gone and that I couldn't think of anything else anymore.

A smile traced my lips as I watched his.

Moments passed by. Didn't count after all, but I only barely noticed what I was doing when he moved in his sleep and intentional or not, mostly not since he's asleep, brushed past my lips in his unconscious movement. And if that wasn't enough, I just couldn't deny the urge, and the desire of my lips to collide with his parted ones.

"Fuck!" I whispered as I almost ran from the bed, to walk around the room like a dog in heat, calling myself names and trying not to look at him.

'But it's so hard!'

My mind screamed as my eyes fixed themselves on the body that was covered with no blankets. Long strong legs and hands lying careless and open, as if in an attempt to make me desire him even more, parted moist soft lips, features expressionless but giving an aura of calmness, of hopelessness. His whole body is inviting me, a bit of his stomach showing, and his skin being as flawless as ever in the darkness of the room, lit up only by a small candle.

The dark hair on the white pillow…

'Stop it now…' I begged myself.

I was getting aroused only by looking at him. Feeling those pale palms around my sun kissed waist. I shivered at the memory of his lips against my neck and his member pushing against my own. Controlling me but also wanting me.

It was the first time in my life when I ever wanted someone.

And I'd lie to myself by not acknowledging the…fear and lust I felt altogether.

I slowly opened to door to the bedroom's room and made my way, silently, to the main room by only a few steps. Stopping in my tracks to meet with the sleeping face of Tamiko and with her body spreading all over the main's room couch. And of course, there were different factors involved.

Her abdomen is flat, just like his but there is nothing attractive to it. Her round and beautiful breasts fitting nicely in her blouse. I had to admit, the curves of her body are flawless. Her skin also white, but not as pale as Sasuke's, but no matter how I looked at her, ignoring the ache that I forgot by looking at the other sleeping person from the underground house, but which reappeared immediately by looking at her, still, her presence, her body and her aura didn't bring out any feeling of desire. Instead, my arousal died a bit.

I didn't even want to think that I compared her with a man, and not to mention, that I preferred the man. It wasn't that I hated her or anything. Quite the opposite, since I learned about her story, I didn't want to show her mercy. So I decided to treat her as always but to stop asking any personal questions. She will notice and she'll start talking to me eventually, bit by bit. But I could wait.

The pain became part of me since I heard what I so wanted to know, but also, the blinding happiness I felt every time Sasuke was around, made me ignore them both. Emotions have been running wild within me lately, but I made no sign that I actually felt anything.

Even though, when they'll be in the same room, I'll just leave like a freak, I just know I won't stand it. But that won't happen often for they still didn't talk very much…to not at all. And I don't think they will, at least… not yet.

Moving on to nowhere. I walked outside, the coldness getting rid of my arousal for good. And though I'm dumb enough lately, not that dumb that I'll walk in the forest again, however, when I spotted the car right beside the entrance. I felt like going for a walk, or a ride.

The terrain car is easy to get into even without keys for the door, because it has no roof. As I stood in the driver's seat, I opened a small compartment and took the key from there. It's almost invisible if you don't know it's there.

The moon's eye was wide open as I drove and drove into the night. In the end, arriving in the citizen's town, I decided it's late enough to pay a visit to Sisay since it's been a long time since I saw her, well, today but like in talking to her, not…

_*'It should've been a sign for me to stay put. But as I watched as Sisay took his hand just like she took my hand. Something inside me got troubled and disturbed once again.*'_

"Shut up, shut up…" I whispered to myself just to stop the memory from playing over and over again in my head.

When I arrived in front of the small house, I was taken a bit aback by the still turned on lights. But nonetheless, I knocked at the door to be welcomed with a smile. A bit…fake.

'You look scared…' I wanted to say when her pale face and wide open eyes got in my view, but instead, my mouth let other sounds out:

"Hey, you look great. It's been some time since I visited. How are you?" I warmly said, though I didn't felt it very much. I embraced her for I was really happy to have an outsider, someone who's not from the Uchiha clan and who's my friend. Though I didn't even think it was right to consider those people friends, for they were not a foe, but still, not what one would call friendly.

"You too…" The words were spoken in a hurry. And when she didn't move aside to let me in. I finally let my intuition roam free and accepted the feeling that something was wrong. But I knew better than to let it show that I knew it.

So, I did what I do better.

'I play dumb.'

"So, you farted in here and forgot to open a window?" I randomly stated. But I guess I should've really thought of it before since this is the most perfumed house from the whole town, or world. So…

'It's too dumb even for me.'

"Or is it me? But no one could tell since everything smells like flowers…" Trying to save a lame joke with another lame joke isn't so smart but hell if I'll stop.

"Sorry if it bothers you but I ate standing or some…thing…" My voice died a little bit as I watched the man we saved today sitting not too comfortable on Sisay's couch. His eyes looked insane. And if the whole house reeked of flowers, the guy reeked of death.

"Well, hello there, nice to see you again." I tried, stretching my hand out to him, but if took him more than five seconds to realize what I'm doing.

He indeed shook my hand, and let go a bit too soon if you ask me.

'Coward.'

"So, you like it here at Sisay's? Don't you?" He only nodded, hesitantly, like a freak who didn't understand what I just said.

"Everybody likes Sisay, she's famous. I'm not sure if you know but she also took me in when I first arrived, so I pretty much know how hostile she is…"

_*"Take my hand." A black woman said to me, while she was in the opposite direction of where I was looking, but even if the happy voices were loud, they weren't louder than the sounds that almost destroyed my tympanum just minutes ago._

_The woman seemed kind and warm, so I took her hand, and I got out of the car, while she seemed to check me for any injury with her brown eyes.*'_

He nodded his head once again, like he's retarded.

"My dear, you see…" Sisay started with the same white face she had when I entered but this time, she looked like she was about to faint.

"He can't talk." She stated with a small smile, that didn't quite reach her eyes.

'She's obviously freaked out by something.'

"He can't talk because…?" She now had my full attention for I refused to look in those doomed eyes unless I had a proper reason.

"He has no voice, he's mute…" She explained, a bit exhausted but she made enough signs with her eyes, with her hands and even with the tone of her voice just to let me know that him, having no voice, isn't the reason why she's so damn freaked out .

"Oh, that's really…unfortunate." I said, mostly to myself than to them.

'That explains why he was so quiet, but still…no one, not even those who are mute would've been that calm, especially those in his condition. It isn't that he's mute, he just doesn't look…sane.'

Lost in my thoughts, I looked down at the floor, at the colored carpets, almost blind for I was so concentrated that I didn't notice that Sisay was behind me, her eyes fixed on something, wide open, just like a cat.

"You were born that way or…?" I don't even know why I said that, I guess I was just trying to make conversation but when he nodded his head, I was grateful for my own stupidity.

"Then…why?" I continued but that was also the moment I felt Sisay squeezing my right shoulder. Not to comfort me, but as to prevent me. No comforting gesture hurts like that.

So, he finally opened his mouth, not to talk but to show me what's inside.

'His tongue is cut.'

I instinctively looked away. But after he closed his mouth and I was able to look at him again, he didn't look impressed or disappointed by my reaction; I guess everybody had a reaction of negation, of rejection, but still…

'Why? And who did that to you?' I wanted to ask but just when I parted my lips, Sisay squeezed further, her nails digging into my shoulders. I was pretty sure it left a mark.

"At least, you know his name?" I asked her quietly as we both whispered with her head bowed down to me, and with me, stretching my neck out to reach her.

"No, and that's not the problem." Her voice finally gave in, or mostly, her panic. The whispering voice was also screaming. Sweat gathered on her small, delicate forehead because of pure stress.

"What's the problem?" My voice also whispered while screaming, so low, I was surprised she heard me, but also, I could tell my scream wasn't justified while she was all but not calm.

"The problem is…Ha!" She yelled, startled as the bullet flew just one millimeter from her head, hitting the wall.

The mute motioned his head for both of us to raise our hands up.

"He has a gun." I stated as I did so.

"He has a gun." She said after me, finally letting the information out.

Minutes later, we were still in that position. I was still sitting down and she was still standing. With our hands in the air, like a white flag, but I somehow knew that she was also thinking how to get out of the situation, the frustration from now finding a solution got her pale and sweaty, not the fear for she wasn't trembling and neither did I. Maybe out of anger, but if so, I didn't feel or see it.

All I knew was that I didn't want him to hurt her. But the gun he was pointing at us made me feel protective over her and over me. We were stuck in those positions with a mute man pointing his gun at us and even if we asked what he wanted from us…he couldn't answer even if he wanted to.

And I was wrong for thinking the head and voice weren't his only problems. His ears were pretty sharp. So much for my sixth sense, for I didn't even realize that the gun's been pointed at us while we talked.

*' _So, I let him in, heard what he had to say and then, I used up my last chance for living._

_And I won._

_More…or less._

"_He forced you to stay here?"_

"_Not really… please, can you just get me away from here?"_

"_Maybe he's the one the folks been talking about, he's insane."_

_I don't know if he was a cop, I don't even know if he was right but I also feel responsible for his life._

_The man killed my savior._

_Don't know why, didn't hear a thing but saw him lying senseless on the ground before I left to the city._

_I never returned._

_I unconsciously refused to read any paper, any data referred to the great fire which almost burned everything that was around the only actually targeted house._

_I never looked back.*'_

My blue eyes stood still on his eyes. Refusing to look away, he also faced me with his empty eyes, like a real man. But I really didn't feel like playing games. I wasn't in the mood to stay there and be killed. Didn't feel any fear or anything else for the matter. For all I wanted to do was to protect her, and that was the only reason I stood still and didn't make any move to take the guy down.

I stood and waited, and Sisay did the same thing. But the mute had no plan whatsoever and even if he had, he still couldn't say a thing.

"What are you trying to do?" The patience was slowly slipping away from our systems, underneath the windows and doors, flowing like waves to the outside world from us. No longer exist for it might have passed one hour or two. And he still didn't move, didn't do anything but look at us with the hole from the loaded gun.

He didn't answer Sisay; he didn't answer me either when I asked him if he even had a plan. I considered telling him to write and that we'll promise we won't do anything harsh if only he'd explain what's happening.

The sun was coming up.

And my eyes were coming down.

'I feel so tired.'

I thought and felt it. But every other feeling other than a tiny piece of panic evaporated when men smashed the front door, entered all dressed in black. Spotted us and took us by force. Tied our hands, covered our mouths and pushed us outside to their car.

'They're definitely not the King's soldiers.' I silently thought as one of them covered my eyes with something.

And all I could see was black.

Once again.

To be continued…

It's so short, and still, it changes so much. I'm not so out of ideas but out of energy. And I really felt it should end like that…It'd ruin the whole chapter if you got the answers. Well, I know there are a lot of questions to be answered already but be patient. It'll be lots of fun on finding them out since in the next chapter… I'll be taking out principal character to….what, whom? You guess.

This chapter is beta'd by konakisen.

Hope everybody like the chapter nonetheless. Thank you for reading.

See yea next Sunday.


	19. Chapter 19:Thunderstorm 3

**AN1: **Hello for the 19th time, can't believe it's almost 20 chapters and I have so much going on still. A miracle...anyway, the chapter is done, though a bit late in the Sunday, I guess you guys are used with me giving late updates...anyway, this chapter is longer than the previous one, and many other chapters so, I hope you'll like it.

This chapter has been beta'd by konakisen.

Oh, and the previous chapter thing is so long because it's hard to tell what happened unless I put it all, skip it if you know what's been happening, I often have to read the last chapter to continue with a new chapter for I read many stories and books at once and yeah…sorry. So, on with the story.

**From the previous (last) chapter:**

_"The problem is…Ha!" She yelled, startled as the bullet flew just one millimeter from her head, hitting the wall._

_The mute motioned his head for both of us to raise our hands up._

_"He has a gun." I stated as I did so._

_"He has a gun." She said after me, finally letting the information out._

_Minutes later, we were still in that position. I was still sitting down and she was still standing. With our hands in the air, like a white flag, but I somehow knew that she was also thinking how to get out of the situation, the frustration from now finding a solution got her pale and sweaty, not the fear for she wasn't trembling and neither did I. Maybe out of anger, but if so, I didn't feel or see it._

_All I knew was that I didn't want him to hurt her. But the gun he was pointing at us made me feel protective over her and over me. We were stuck in those positions with a mute man pointing his gun at us and even if we asked what he wanted from us…he couldn't answer even if he wanted to._

_And I was wrong for thinking the head and voice weren't his only problems. His ears were pretty sharp. So much for my sixth sense, for I didn't even realize that the gun's been pointed at us while we talked._

_My blue eyes stood still on his eyes. Refusing to look away, he also faced me with his empty eyes, like a real man. But I really didn't feel like playing games. I wasn't in the mood to stay there and be killed. Didn't feel any fear or anything else for the matter. For all I wanted to do was to protect her, and that was the only reason I stood still and didn't make any move to take the guy down._

_I stood and waited, and Sisay did the same thing. But the mute had no plan whatsoever and even if he had, he still couldn't say a thing._

_"What are you trying to do?" The patience was slowly slipping away from our systems, underneath the windows and doors, flowing like waves to the outside world from us. No longer exist for it might have passed one hour or two. And he still didn't move, didn't do anything but look at us with the hole from the loaded gun._

_He didn't answer Sisay; he didn't answer me either when I asked him if he even had a plan. I considered telling him to write and that we'll promise we won't do anything harsh if only he'd explain what's happening._

_The sun was coming up._

_And my eyes were coming down._

_'I feel so tired.'_

_I thought and felt it. But every other feeling other than a tiny piece of panic evaporated when men smashed the front door entered all dressed in black. Spotted us and took us by force. Tied our hands, covered our mouths and pushed us outside to their car._

_'They're definitely not the King's soldiers.' I silently thought as one of them covered my eyes with something._

_And all I could see was black._

_Once again._

**The actual (new) chapter:**

There are cases in life, too many to enumerate, when you know somebody since they were little kids, and even if not, you know someone so well that you already know what they're thinking before they even say it. Their preferences in clothes and music, allergies and favorite hobbies.

But somehow, all of this takes only one second to be shattered, by maybe, a person, a secret, or maybe just that they were someone else on the inside, and even if just one thing is different from what we thought, it can be enough to ruin everything you had for them before.

A person telling you that you don't know who you're staying with, a secret that gets revealed after a long time, or just the person themself saying that they're not who you thought they were. It's a shame, and you can be forgiven, but you don't know if you will be cast aside instead.

Chapter 19: Thunderstorm (Part 3)

I guess everybody has secrets. How could we live otherwise? The word 'secret' exists for a reason. And we find our secret or secrets, a reason or reasons. And sometimes, it doesn't even have to be ours. People we care about, people we love and even the people we hate might make us keep their secrets. And in that instant, someone else's secret becomes our secret.

It's a drag, no; it's a responsibility, it's agonizing, for it can be a secret that involves a person, two, or maybe a whole country. People get psychically or mentally tortured just for one single tiny rusted secret. It sounds insane or normal, that's up to you. But I guess if the secret is not ours to begin with and we don't give a fuck, you'll think: secrets exist to get revealed.

But there might be the ones that aren't revealed. You might ask: what secrets don't get revealed? Well, the answer is pretty simple. They never got revealed and that's why you never heard about them. And if you think that every freaking person on this entire planet has at least one secret that never got revealed, not even after their death, well…the number of secrets that get revealed doesn't seem so big anymore. No?

Why am I talking about my own opinion, or you can call it theory, for secrets? You're on to find out.

So where were we?

"Let us go! Who the fuck do you think you're kidnapping?! Huh?!" My neck felt dry and tired for I kept screaming for the moment the thing that covered my mouth had been removed.

Things got ugly and it seems they're about to get uglier.

After they tied us up, forced us, or mostly, took us flying to their car or whatever it was for I couldn't see a thing, to a place that I recognized as the enemy's den, or basement; though is just a room, we were left without being tied or anything, well, despite the fact that we are in a cell, left to probably, die from: a. starvation; b. insanity or c. broken bones for there's no freaking bed.

Sisay however took things more calmly than me, even though, I preferred for her to be screaming her lungs out like me than sitting on the dusty ground with empty eyes, as if she wasn't seeing anything or not even feeling…

I was worried, so worried about her that I screamed and screamed just to ignore her lost expression. But after more than I could estimate, I broke down from exhaustion and when I did, I sat my butt down beside her, both our backs against the coldness of the walls of our cell. Her hands wrapped around my waist and her head rested against my right shoulder. It wasn't like she was flirting with me but reassured herself that I'm here and also reassured me that she's here. We are here.

In a small room with only two cells, we are in the one from the left, and the other one is empty. The walls are white and the floor is grey, the bars are put too close to slip through them and too well made to bend them. The light is on but I guess when it's night; it's when they turn it off. There is only one door, set in front of our cells. As if it's there for us to stare at it until we die. Whether waiting for death or rescuers, both of them will drive us insane.

I suppose it's been only one night for the light was turned off when we arrived, which means it took them one whole day to get us here. And then, the light's been on for too many hours in which I yelled, that, until now, when I broke down. Her warm hands comforted me, her breathing on my neck reassured me that she's alive, and when she talked to me, finally, I was about to cry.

"Please, stop yelling." She whispered on my cheek, close to my lips. Her voice, that of a black woman but with the softness of a young lady; long brown hair with a shade of black, so straight and still so soft, like it comes in waves, framing her face with big brown eyes, like that of a cat and long eyelashes, white teeth beneath caramel lips, her thin though long arms with small writs embraced my waist tighter, her slim black chocolate legs intertwined with mine on the cold floor, her round and firm flawless breasts pushed against my arm. For we kept each other warm, for she has a white cloth on her, she's almost naked and so am I.

They dressed us with these thin and short things as if just waiting for us to freeze to death. So when we arrived after we've been kidnapped, we slept embraced, like lovers. And I don't even know when we ended up in each other's arms, but I guess it was instinct for survival, for warmth or just for…company.

And I'd lie by saying she isn't attractive. For the first time, I saw her as the lady she is, as the warmth and sensuality she radiated through her skin, from her body that breathed calmly underneath such a thin and barely existent cloth. I guess I should consider myself lucky for my cloth consists of a T-shirt and pants, though as thin as her dress, it covers my legs. Both cloths are white, immaculate white, now a bit dirty from sitting on the floor and also sleeping on it.

We stood like that, with her embracing me from my right side and her still breathing, but also trying to gather any warmth I gave her for is too damn cold. And even if I didn't embrace her back yet, I once again wished I could give her my warmth. From birth, I've been very warm, even in winter; I'd never been really cold. But she wasn't that lucky with her fragile figure. Though, at night, I don't know why. It was so cold as if we are in the middle of winter. I'd be cold too, she'd be trembling and we'd stay as close as possible to each other with no shame, just to stay alive.

And through this entire time, all I thought about was…the King.

Every time I yelled, I blamed him for not figuring out I was missing, or that she's missing. But deep inside, I was more worried about her than myself. It wasn't the first time I've been locked up and as hell; it wasn't going to be the last time for I wasn't going to die in here. But she looked broken to me. From the first time I saw her, she's been smiling with a kindness and warmth I never felt at anybody else before. She'd just give you her life for only smiling back at her. And now, all that…seemed to be broken. And I couldn't stand it.

We continued to stay like that. And I was sure that in a few minutes, or hours, the light will be turned off again and I'll fight to fall asleep, fight with the need for water and food to sleep. We'll both wake up from hour to hour because of pain or cold.

"Hello weirdoes!" I looked up too late to realize who talked, only to see two boys entering the door I never thought will ever be opened again.

I immediately observed that the one with the dark brown eyes and the black hair with a hairstyle that matched Sasuke's in a way, has piercings in both ears and on his bottom lip and even on his right eyebrow, a black cross hanging from his left earlobe has caught my attention.

They shared a long striped scarf in black and white at their necks, like it is connecting them.

The other one it's a bit shorter than the other, which is taller, and he has different hair style, a dark red color, and his eyes are a dark green. He also has piercings but not as many as the other, one on his right eyebrow and in his ears.

However, their styles are very much alike, if I look at them like they are in one piece, not two, and the one scarf which they both wear, forced me in a way to look at them as if one piece.

Their clothes are also alike, with dark colors but simple in some way, that if you don't observe the jeans with holes.

I try to think that they are some punk rebels, not beggars.

After I inspected them thoroughly, I was even surer of myself.

'Must be enemies.' But then I noticed the trays of food from their hands and my thought changed radically: 'Angels?'

I felt too tired to say anything, since I yelled all day long and yesterday too, and just when I stopped yelling, someone miraculously appeared, a bit suspicious if you ask me…

'A hell of a coincidence.' The air tasted bitter as I watched the red head placing the trays on the ground as the black haired one opened a tiny door made especially for trays to be sent inside, the red head slid them further and then in. The water didn't overflow to my surprise.

And though we were both looking from the trays and then to them, starved. None of us moved. Instead, I felt Sisay burying her face further into my neck, refusing to look at anything, closing her eyes and a sigh of stress escaped her lips to my neck.

"It's not poisonous. If that's what you're wondering about." The red head informed us and to his surprise, or that's how it looked like, he was looking dumbfounded as if: Why aren't we jumping to the food like animals?

The scarf still connected them, and just now, I noticed the black haired one's left arm that's on the red head's waist, a sign of affection or of possessiveness, I couldn't tell. However, it reminded me of Sasuke. It ached to look at them.

"You two are different." The red head said, to us from the room or thought aloud. But we still didn't talk; the black haired did however continue the conversation.

"From all those locked up rabid dogs." I could tell the red head is more sensitive than the black haired one just from how they're talking.

As if, though linked by that scarf, by an invisible thread of emotions I knew nothing about, looking so content and so made for each other, while their personality seemed to be completely different. That much I could tell by just hearing them talk for only two minutes.

'Or maybe, I'm going insane.'

"You, Blondie!" The black haired one talked. "If you continue to yell, you won't be getting any more food. If you shut the hell up, you'll get food, get it?! These are the shitty rules; we can't do anything about it. Get it?" He said, though with words so harsh, the message wasn't harsh at all, but helping me.

'Maybe they're not so different in some twisted way.'

I nodded my head in affirmation. And somehow, I was almost done with my yelling for it got me nowhere and Sisay was stressed because of it too.

"We'll come back tomorrow morning with food…if you don't yell, alright?" The red headed informed me and once again, I nodded my head.

Some knocks on the door made them turn around and head for the door. Maybe those were signs from soldiers or god knows who for staying too much with us? Who knows, for when they were gone, I really considered eating even if it was poisonous or not. But the strong urge I felt from my stomach could as well wait and die altogether for all I cared. When I stared at Sisay's face which is really the color of black chocolate with a bit of milk, now looked pale, I could tell she's not feeling well.

"Sisay…" I whispered to her, trying to get her to look at me.

"Hmm…" She whispered back or mostly moaned.

"Let's eat…please…" I whispered again, trying to move her but it was hard. Not because she's heavy. But because she holds onto me as if I'm all she has left.

'And maybe I am…' The thought pained me, for I guess I was the only one still hoping Sasuke will rescue us. I didn't let it get to me for I still had hope but maybe, I was her hope. I should've got it when I visited her every time. She had no close friend, besides me. Everybody liked her, that, I knew and seen every time we went outside and talked to people, visited people. But she still kept a wall in front of them. I noticed it every time she talked with someone else but me.

'Why am I so special?'

"Please…let me carry you…" I softly whispered and she barely nodded. If I wouldn't have been so attentive at her, maybe I wouldn't have noticed it at all. Still, with her hands around my neck, with her head on my chest. I lifted her up and carried her to the front of the cell where the trays stood untouched.

There was a lot of bread and water, nothing else. But for me, in that moment, it was enough. I sat down in front of them, with her still in my arms. And as if feeding a baby, I fed her with bread and water until she was able to open her eyes and some color returned to her delicate cheeks.

She smiled to me, and I smiled back.

I felt happy for her. I wanted her to feel good but then she looked at the floor and her expression changed.

"You gave it all to me?" She asked me, still whispering. Her eyes held worry and guilt.

"I'm fine, really. I'm used to starvation, don't worry, please, I'll be alright." I whispered as her hands caressed my cheeks and neck.

"You'll eat it all in the morning." She said, but I already started nodding my head from left to right.

"No. I don't need it as much as you do Sisay. Stop being so protective." I whispered smiling.

"You're the one who's protective…" This time, she talked, almost yelled.

The light's been turned off.

Slowly but surely, I carried her back to the wall and held her close to me. I started caressing her long hair, and then her back, trying to get her warm and comfortable enough to sleep as she still rested her head against my chest, her arms around my neck and the rest of her body on my lap, like I was holding a child.

She's smaller than me, not with much in height but more in body. We fit each other like a glove. And I don't think I ever got this close with someone. Maybe only with Sasuke. But I guess trying to survive gets someone like this. For even if I visited her hundreds of them before, we only talked, never touched this much. I surprised myself by enjoying her touch, the softness of her chocolate skin, and the whispers in the middle of the night saying that we'll escape and that she'll cook for me warm delicious food when we get back. Though I was afraid she'll say: If we ever get back. But I could swear we were both thinking it.

But even though I prepared her well, the best I could. Not to mention, gave her food which didn't happen last night. She still trembled but it wasn't because of me. But because tonight, it's been colder than the two nights we spent before. It was like we are in a fridge, no, in a freezer.

She moved her hands on my back, almost ripping my skin with her fingertips trying to warm me up and herself too, and I did so too. Not thinking about it but mostly, instinctively. Her legs are on each side of my waist, crossed at my back, and my legs would've been up at my chest but instead, with her on my lap, up against her back. Her head is on my right shoulder, her white teeth tightly shut together in an attempt to stop trembling, and my head is on her right shoulder, with my lips pressed against her skin, also trying not to shudder.

And this position could be mistaken for something else, and I only barely heard an unconscious thought saying that when I felt her hardened nipples against my chest every time she moved; hardened from the cold, of course. But I'd lie by saying that my body didn't react to her. I guess she's the first woman I reacted to. But for God's sake, if freezing to death in a cell, and starving it's what took for me to get aroused or just…see a woman in an attractive way, then I must be the gayest of gays. But it scared the hell out of me just like it scared me when I realized I was attracted to Sasuke.

'I want them, both. And it's wrong, with both of them.'

The night's been long, painful and cold. When the morning came or to be more precise, when the light's been turned on, we were still in that position and when I felt Sisay's warm tears wetting my shoulder, my heart broke.

"Shh…" I whispered to her and moved us back and forth, as you move a baby to stop it from crying but I didn't know what to do otherwise. It wasn't so cold anymore, but it wasn't warm either, however. We knew we won't make it like this; we'll kill ourselves if we continue this way, and it was just too much. Being locked up, starving and freezing. All in the same time. So annoyed by the light of the room but so scared that we'll freeze when it'll be turned off.

"Naruto…" She said my name, and I heard it echoing along with her sobs against the naked walls.

"Yes, Sisay?" I asked back and I watched her as she detached herself from my shoulder to look at me, once again, caressing my cheeks with her hands, playing in my blond hair which thank god, isn't short for the last thing I needed was for me to be almost bald, feeling cold there too, and then back to my cheeks only to get to my neck. Sadly, I enjoyed it.

"What's wrong?" I asked her, watching tears falling on her cheeks from her brown cat like eyes.

"I'm sorry." She confessed, only to cry more.

"Why? Why are you sorry?" I was really confused for there was nothing to be apologizing about in all this.

"If we wouldn't h-have stayed friends, if I-I wouldn't h-have l-let you come inside my house …t-then you would've l-left and wouldn't have h-had to be k-kidnapped too. It's my f-fault you're here too… I d-don't w-want you to die, I want you t-to be happy and I…I…" She stuttered and talked, then stuttered some more but continued talking, continued apologizing and crying, and I swear I wanted to kiss her in that very moment. She was crying so bad, trembling so hard, feeling even worse, probably a step away from getting sick or dying and still, all she cared about was that I will die too. Just like all I cared about was that she's not happy, she's not safe. None of us are thinking about ourselves but about each other.

I swear my chest was overflowing with emotions that threatened for it to explode.

I stopped her hands from caressing me by caressing her cheeks, her hair and her neck too, by looking into her eyes with smiling lips, while her tears continued to fall on my hands. She barely stopped sobbing but the tears continued to fell and I bowed only a bit, one centimeter away from her lips, when the door opened.

None of us made any move to have acknowledged it. Tears kept flowing, and I kept caressing her.

"This is a freaking miracle." I already recognized the voice. The black haired man said and she buried her head on my shoulder again and I resigned myself by caressing the back of her head, through soft hair. I looked at the duo from her right shoulder and all three of us could hear her crying from the crack of my shoulder. Her cries echoed in the room.

"God…" The red headed one silently said, but I could hear it, and then he looked at the black haired one with a message under his intense stare.

The black haired one opened the door and I could hear him screaming and I'm sure everybody out there did, even after he closed the door, I could hear him perfectly.

"You fuckers bring a bed and blankets for two people right now or I'll kill you all!" He yelled at the top of his lungs.

I don't know what miracle the black haired one talked about, but I watched them both putting a bed in our cell, not very big but enough with like, 5 blankets and two pillows. Also, there were fruits in our breakfast and the trays were bigger than yesterday.

'Freaking angels.' I thought as I smiled to them. I put Sisay on the bed, watched her eating silently after begging me to eat from her tray too for I didn't eat yesterday, but I refused, only taking a bite from her apple to please her, but with the tears now dried from her face and when she looked at the duo, I could see gratitude all over her beautiful face.

"Thank you." She told them and the red head smiled while the black haired one looked away as if he does this all the time, some pride on his feature, but a good soul nonetheless. I could tell that much.

"The clothes are harder to get but we'll do what we can." The red head said and Sisay only nodded, and as I got up from Sisay, to the bars that separates me from the duo and from liberty.

"I know it's too much to ask, but could you please…tell us why…" But the black haired one cut me off.

"Like hell is too much! All they know about you two is that you've been on the bright side. That's the reason why you didn't get a bed in the first place; the fuckers treat you like shit, when they keep the criminals and the rapists like they're in a fucking 5 star hotel!" He yelled the last part as if underlining it, but what surprised me is his guts, he didn't give a fuck about who heard him, and I could read it on his face.

'Wait a minute…the bright side?'

"I am Ryuu and he's Cloud, and you are…?" The red head introduced themselves, pardon me, Ryuu introduced him and Cloud.

'They don't even know our names though they kidnapped us, or… they play dumb?'

"I am Naruto, and she's Sisay." I presented back, and on instinct, I almost reached out my hand to shook his but that wasn't possible for the bars wouldn't allow it.

Thinking of that, I didn't notice their changed expressions.

"You're Naruto?" Ryuu asked, with wide eyes. And in the same time, placed a hand on Cloud's chest, as if to stop him from any reaction, the black haired man though, only looked me up and down, while a sigh escaped his lips.

"Yes, I am. Why?" I asked with a raised eyebrow. For I really didn't think I should be famous for something. Since though I want to become big in my life, wanted it since I've been little, I never did something extraordinary to be recognized for, or something...too bad.

"Nothing, just stuff we heard." Ryuu changed the subject immediately. "So, you don't know why you two are in after all?"

'Heard what?!'

"Of course not! I wouldn't have asked then!"

"You didn't kill anybody, raped or sold drugs, no smelling shit?" Cloud asked me, in his way, if I'm a sinner, if I'm a criminal, which explains: *'_the fuckers treat you like shit, when they keep the criminals and the rapists like they're in a fucking 5 star hotel!*'_

"No!" I said, outraged.  
>"Sisay didn't either…" Ryuu softly suggested with no harm intended though.<p>

"No!" I screamed even louder.

"Told ya Ryuu, they just don't look like the rest, freaking saints in hell!" Cloud told Ryuu while they both looked at each other, suddenly, talking to each other without words.

"Then why…?" Ryuu whispered and Cloud only looked more annoyed.

"Find out, fuck it!" Cloud whispered as he took Ryuu's hand and forced him to walk along.

"Sorry, see you at dinner!" Ryuu told us as he got dragged to the door, leaving us alone once again.

"Weird pair." I stated to Sisay in now, pure silence as I walked to her, sitting on the bed, on the blankets. Immediately feeling their warmth and her warmth. We once against stood with our backs against the wall, embraced, but this time with blankets covering us.

It wasn't so cold anymore and soon enough, it was warm, none of us trembled anymore, and instead, it felt like heaven. We were filled up with bread, fruits and water, while our bodies fit each other, warmed each other, the blankets made sure we didn't lose any warmth too.

I didn't want to move. Though I don't know when, instead of staying against the wall, we put ourselves on the pillows, as if to sleep. Still embraced, we stood like that, and slept.

"Hey! You saints!" Woken up by the familiar scream, I looked up to see Cloud and Ryuu looking at us with cautious expressions but I didn't care about it. I already spotted the food on the floor and I could tell is dinner time already, however, Sisay didn't wake up from the scream and when I saw Cloud prepared to scream again, I started talking and motioning for him in the same time:

"No, let her sleep." So, he didn't scream.

I got up as slowly and gently as I could, not welcoming the coldness that hit me when my bare feet touched the ground and that also hit my body.

"Something happened?" I asked them when I arrived in front of them.

"We…asked stuff and…" Ryuu tried but stopped, and as I suspected, Cloud continued what Ryuu couldn't say. Scratch that, they made the perfect pair.

"You got kidnapped only 'cause you were on the bright side, not 'cause you guys did shit. That's all." Cloud said and Ryuu nodded, as if approving him.

"Wait, what the hell is the 'bright side' thingy? I don't get it."

"The bright side is the desert's side." Ryuu tried to explain me.

"What?" I couldn't stop myself for it didn't make sense. "We're still on the island, aren't we?"

"Yes, but…fuck! This is the winter side, freaking cold side, dark side…if you'd still be in the dessert, wouldn't it be warm? You've been born dumb or something?" Cloud explained better but in his own way too.

"Winter? You mean, it's snowing outside?" My brain simply didn't function. Maybe because I just woke up and I was already freezing for staying only two minutes away from the blankets and Sisay. Or maybe because it wasn't normal! How could it be that first, there was a town with nothing in particular besides a purple sky? And then a dessert with a tropical forest right beside a normal forest somehow, and here's winter?

"You think so? We're not wearing scarfs and gloves for a fucking fashion show." Cloud really knows how to explain and insult you in the same time. But I wasn't bothered. I understood that it was his personality.

'Nothing to do with me. Though they are both beautiful as hell, I don't get what's his problem with swearing...'

"Fine. I get it. This island is fucked up. What I don't get is..." I talked normally but when I was about to ask, I started whispering: "Who are you two?"

"Ryuu and Cloud." Ryuu said but I didn't buy it.

"You know what I mean, your names don't tell me anything." I said as I embraced myself for I was getting cold.

Somebody knocked at the door, making them turn around again.

"Tomorrow morning, we'll say everything; we have time all afternoon, but not now." Ryuu told me and when they knocked again, Cloud was already swearing. I nodded my head and I watched them leave.

The door closed with a loud sound which probably woke up Sisay, for I heard her moving in the complete silence.

"Naruto…?" She moaned my name in her half-sleeping, half-awake state as I took the trays from the floor and brought them to the bed.

We ate in silence, or maybe, felt grateful in silence since there was meat and boiled potatoes on our trays.

'A real dinner at least.'

When we finished, we let the trays besides the bed and got under the blankets again, and as if they watched us in this entire time, the light was replaced with the darkness.

She embraced me by my right side again, but under the blankets, with her head on the pillow. And I started talking for I knew none of us were tired, we slept all day after all:

"They'll tell us who they are, tomorrow at breakfast." I informed her and I felt her nodding against the pillow.

I thought she'll ask me who am I talking about but it seems she knew. After all, there's nobody else we know besides them.

I stopped looking at the ceiling to look at her, realizing that she's been staring at me in this entire time.

"What?" I asked smiling and she smiled back.

"I'm sorry I cried." I covered her mouth with my hand and my smile was replaced with a serious expression that told her I wasn't joking.

"Stop saying you're sorry. Alright?"

*'_"We sure apologize a lot, don't you think?" I ironically asked him, not expecting an answer, but he still offered me some words._

_"We do, but this time, I'm really so…"_

_"Don't say it!"_

_"But…"  
>"Shh!" I stubbornly huffed as I continued to keep the palm of my hand in front of his mouth, not looking at him, for I really was mad.<em>

_I didn't want to do this anymore._

_"What do you say if we make a deal?"_

_We were really like two kids playing by the river. At least, that's the thought that passed through my mind as we stood there in silence. Maybe it was my thought, maybe it was his, or maybe it was a thought brought by the wind._

_Whatever it was, I suspected Sasuke thought about it for he only nodded his head, stopping himself from commenting._

_"We don't say we're sorry anymore, no matter what. We try and do something else instead of it, maybe something nice, or resolve the problem, but no more apologizing, fine?" I let it out, and immediately regret it a bit, but refused to feel that pain, for it was for the best, and I wasn't the only one to think so._

_"Deal."*'_

'You two are too much alike…' I thought as I watched her nodding her head and just then, I took my hand off her mouth to stare at her lips.

'Do something else, something nice instead, huh?' I thought as reality and past combined in one moment.

It took me some seconds to look up from her lips to her eyes, but when I did, she was also looking at my lips.

To be continued…

**AN2: **Well, now that we're done with this chapter, I want to ask you, what do you want to happen? I'm really letting this on to you, readers, for if you want them to be together (for a while) say it now, if you don't, then well, tell me that too. I really don't know which one, for I want them both but it's your choice. So, see you next Sunday, you have a week for this answer for God's sake! Guess I'll make a poll with if you want them to be more than friends or something so…check it out if you want, if you don't want to, leave me a review, which would be nice:D

Oh, and Ps: Cloud and Ryuu are from another story I wrote, if you know it, then congrats, tell me which one, gets you virtual cookies :D if you don't then, you'll find out about them more than in the other story anyway for that story isn't finished (I don't know if I'll ever continue it) but this one will be finished!

**Answering reviews: ****Cassy: **You're still reading! Oh, I just can't express my gratitude through words! It's not enough but I really thank you from the bottom of my heart. A...This might be, I'm not sure yet, the last chapter of the Thunderstorm series, but I don't think so...well, I'm yet to find out too, but I'm glad you liked it because it is indeed like a thunderstorm, getting hit by the thunder or not, that's the thing. And I don't know really, for I can't write poems but I got so many ideas for this story, is like a half-half situation, but my writer's block's been off for this story, I really liked to write this chapter, and it's not often I like what I write so much, so hope you enjoy it and I'm really curious about your opinion about if you want them together or not, if you want to tell me of course. Thank you very much once again, you're the best. And I don't do compliments if I don't feel them so yeah…:D

Until next time, stay tuned!


	20. Chapter 20:Thunderstorm 4

**AN1: **Well, hello. A new update, on time, once again. There must be something wrong with me…but anyway, here it is. Not so long but the next one will be longer, that, I know for sure. There hasn't been any vote on the pool, but only a review telling me its opinion. So, I listened to both my wants, mostly, to the review, but I agreed to it since it basically told me to continue what I started, which was what I wanted anyway: )).

Oh, and PS, this: **\...\ = means dream**

You'll probably be able to tell from the story when it's a dream, but I put that \, anyway, just to be sure everybody gets it.

So, on with the story:

**From the previous (last) chapter:**

_When we finished, we left the trays beside the bed and got under the blankets again, and as if they watched us the entire time, the light was replaced with the darkness._

_She embraced me by my right side again, but under the blankets, with her head on the pillow. And I started talking for I knew neither of us were tired, we slept all day after all:_

_"They'll tell us who they are, tomorrow at breakfast." I informed her and I felt her nodding against the pillow._

_I thought she'll ask me who am I talking about but it seems she knew. After all, there's nobody else we know besides them._

_I stopped looking at the ceiling to look at her, realizing that she's been staring at me the entire time._

_"What?" I asked smiling and she smiled back._

_"I'm sorry I cried." I covered her mouth with my hand and my smile was replaced with a serious expression that told her I wasn't joking._

_"Stop saying you're sorry. Alright?"_

_'You two are too much alike…' I thought as I watched her nodding her head and just then, I took my hand off her mouth to stare at her lips._

_'Do something else, something nice instead, huh?' I thought as reality and past combined in one moment._

_It took me some seconds to look up from her lips to her eyes, but when I did, she was also looking at my lips._

**The actual (new) chapter:**

I guess everybody has secrets. How could we live otherwise? The word 'secret' exists for a reason. And we find our secret or secrets, a reason or reasons. And sometimes, it doesn't even have to be ours. People we care about, people we love and even the people we hate might make us keep their secrets. And in that instant, someone else's secret becomes our secret.

It's a drag, no; it's a responsibility, it's agonizing, for it can be a secret that involves a person, two, or maybe a whole country. People get psychically or mentally tortured just for one single tiny rusted secret. It sounds insane or normal, that's up to you. But I guess if the secret is not ours to begin with and we don't give a fuck, you'll think: secrets exist to get revealed.

But there might be the ones that aren't revealed. You might ask: what secrets don't get revealed? Well, the answer is pretty simple. They never got revealed and that's why you never heard about them. And if you think that every freaking person on this entire planet has at least one secret that never got revealed, not even after their death, well…the number of secrets that get revealed doesn't seem so big anymore. No?

Why am I still talking about my theory for secrets? You'll find out. I assure you.

Chapter 20: Thunderstorm (part 4)

It also took her some seconds to realize what she's doing, where she's looking but she wasn't quick enough for I caught the lust which was written all over her cat-like eyes while she stared at my lips. Unconscious, maybe, she parted her lips and also unconscious of what I'm feeling, for it is a new feeling I feel, I moved closer to her. She didn't back away or got up, instead, I could feel her moving closer to me.

I realized all of it just when I felt the need to breathe, for I've been holding my breath with my lips parted, a bit too much, right in front of her also parted lips, awaiting.

_*'"How did you find out that I like orange?" I asked him with a small smile on my lips._

_"Because, I let you have a toothbrush of every color, and you only took the orange one." He responded with a voice which held a smile in it._

_"You …sly king…" I started, but I didn't mean it, I was smiling like a fool.'*_

Our lips craved for one another, my hands reached out to her instinctively, touching her waist through thin fabric.

*'_Only two minutes of comfortable silence and heavenly massage, and I heard myself saying._

_"Take it off." '*_

My hands moved the fabric a bit up, bringing her even closer to me, that her right leg was above my left leg, and the other two legs touched and even through my also thin clothing, I could feel the soft skin.

_*'I thought he'll ask me: take off what? But he didn't. Instead, he took of the T-shirt as if he can read my thoughts. Not to mention, he continued to massage me after taking it off, skin on skin. In my mind, I swore that if it didn't work out with the King thing, then the next job he should get would be that of a masseur._

_"You're so good at it." I complimented him, and I heard him smirking. However, I thought I'd never admit he's good at anything, but it didn't bother me to say it, I wanted to say it._

_"I'm good at a lot of things." '*_

Her right hand cupped my cheek as I breathed on her neck with parted lips, barely touching her skin as she pushed onto me, closer and closer until we were all over each other. Until I felt her everywhere.

_*' "And you're also very modest." I continued, and I just knew we were both smiling. It felt so natural, and so innocent that I couldn't stop this thought:_

_'I don't want this to end.'_

_I felt like crying for the second time in the same day._

_"Feels better?" He asked me, after a couple of minutes, as he also stopped his hands. *'_

The smell of chocolate radiated off her skin and at the slightest touch of my lips, it felt the same as her smell. We stood embraced only for some seconds until we felt the need to move, and we did. As I was breathing on her lips, she was breathing on mine.

_*' "A lot better." I responded, though sleepy, and also a bit proud of myself that I was able to stay awake after falling asleep so many times and waking up again._

_He got off me, and showed me the T-shirt, as if asking me to put it on._

_"It'll get cold at night." He announced me, as if saying: if you remember last night…_

_"I know… but I don't want to move." I mumbled, already closing my eyes, refusing the idea of moving, completely.'*_

Her legs on mine, my hands on her waist and back, my chest against her chest, her hands on my neck, pulling me closer, begging for me to initiate something instead of offering her just the touch of a clothed body. Of touches that don't touch where they should touch, for the flame…to ignite.

_*'But he didn't give up. I was gently lifted, with my eyes still closed, and turned so, that I wasn't on my belly anymore, but on my back. Nothing hurt so I didn't mind even if I didn't see anything. He lifted my hands up and slid the T-shirt on them, not even disturbing me a bit, after all, it was his, and still a bit bigger than me. I let my hands down, felt the blankets covering me, but just when I thought he'd go to his side and put his head on his pillow, because I was already, almost entirely, asleep, still… I felt someone's breath on my lips, just like I felt them last night after we drank too much.'*_

Our lips, one centimeter apart, our eyes in a battle of who's gonna kiss the other first.

'Eyes which aren't black…'

_*'And even though I really wanted to believe I was dreaming, it felt too real, too close.'*_

She didn't close her eyes. Not until she touched my lips with her lips and then slid her tongue into my mouth.

_*He was breathing on my lips.'*_

'Why?'

She waited for my response but it was so weak I thought I embarrassed her. Because she's pushing against me, touching me, wanting me, but I just …froze.

_*'But it lasted only a couple of seconds, for I heard him getting off the bed to turn off the light, heard him staying on his side of the bed, and when nothing touched me anymore, I finally fell asleep.'*_

'Why am I thinking about him when I'm doing this? Why did I remember that moment right now, of all times? Why, Sasuke?'

"Nar…"

My tongue moved hers, forcing her to kiss me again. As I tasted the sweet taste of her lips and tongue. As I grabbed her hair to keep her still, to force her to kiss me as I kissed her. A force that maybe scared her, but I couldn't think.

'I don't want to think.'

My right hand keeps her hair as my left hand touches her left naked black leg, and caresses the hairless warm skin, forcing the leg to stay on me. Her right hand is on my chest, not moving, and her left hand is on my cheek.

Maybe the blanket made me feel so hot, maybe the heat between us. Either way, I accepted the blankets or the lust as a good reason to take off the barely existent cloth off her, the white thin dress. And I threw it to the ground, for a second only looking at her flawless body.

_*'Moving from left to right, the pillow under my head, the pillow beside my head, then the blanket on me, or not. Only to stop my shifting to meet his calm face, his sleeping posture and the ruffled hair.*'_

A defined collarbone introducing me to big breasts with erected nipples, a creamy color, different but enjoyable in contrast with the dark chocolate skin. Looking at a flat abdomen with a defined waist, of a hornet, with long slim legs and as I also removed the white panties, still no hair in view but only the warmness of the female organ.

*' _I didn't even think when I gently took the rebel black hairs from his face, and put them back. Didn't realize I was above him, almost kissing him, caressing him.'*_

'Shut up…'

I touched from her neck to her breasts, to her waist, to her ass and then to her legs. To kiss her from the lobe of her ear to her nipples; making her moan in pleasure as she pulled my blond hair gently.

_*' For I didn't want to realize that the pain was gone and that I couldn't think of anything else anymore.*'_

'Shut up!'

She grabbed my chin and changed positions, so that now I'm lying on my back and she's above me, removing any piece of clothing I owned, planting little kisses every time she got the change.

By the time I realize it, we're both naked and her legs are on each side of me, as she kisses my neck and then my nipples, to get down and down, to my manhood.

_*'A smile traced my lips as I watched his.*'_

'Shut the fuck up!'

"No, get up." A voice from the grave stalked, but with my voice, ordering her. And she complied.

Nonetheless, she set herself on my manhood and rubbed against it, but it just…doesn't harden.

_*'Moments passed by. Didn't count after all, but I only barely noticed what I was doing when he moved in his sleep and intentional or not, mostly not since he's asleep, brushed past my lips in his unconscious movement.'*_

'Fuck, shut the fuck up! Shut up, shut up!'

Like that, she continued to rub and to touch my chest with her nipples as she moved, kissing my neck. And in the back of my mind, I was grateful she wasn't kissing me for I wasn't able to return her kiss again. Though, I didn't want to admit the thought.

She rubbed faster and harder, my hands have been on her waist in this entire time but I don't know why, now, I let them rest side by side, on the bed, touching nothing.

_*'And if that wasn't enough, I just couldn't deny the urge, and the desire of my lips to collide with his parted ones.*'_

She suddenly stopped while I was still trying to stop my mind from thinking at anything else, and with blind eyes I watched her as she rose up a little bit, and with a black hand, she grabbed my manhood to put it straight, so it can enter in her.

_*' "Fuck!" '*_

"Fuck!"

I screamed. I was inside her, and she's inside me. But I didn't expect it, was caught off guard, I just couldn't believe it.

'This isn't happening…'

"Stop, don't!" I stopped her from moving. She didn't move, anyway. Not even one millimeter. I'm still inside her and she's still inside me but neither of us is moving.

'It's so warm and so good…but why? Why did I stop her? Why does it feel like it's not …right?'

Looking at the part that connected us for so long that my eyes burned, I felt a tear sliding down my cheeks. And I prayed to God it was because of keeping my eyes open for too much, not because I felt...guilt.

"Don't cry…I'm sor…"

"No. Don't be. You've done nothing wrong."

The words escaped my lips but they weren't mine for I was pissed at her, and in the same time, I wasn't. Because she wasn't to blame, I was. It was all about me.

From the part that connected us, I looked up, at her face.

'Regret.'

Written all over her face.

Her eyes are half-opened, despite her cat-like eyes, now, they're not as big as usually, looking small and sad, with no light, no hope. Lips in a tight line. An expression so upset and so disappointed, and so guilty that…

'I think I'm looking at myself.'

For a second I forgot I'm in a cell, prisoner of God knows who, inside of a woman I care so much about. I just had the urge to bring a mirror and look at myself and say: this is me, and this is you, and we feel the same.

It pained me. It burned me. Seeing her so hurt, and it was all because of me while all I wanted to do was to protect her, to keep her healthy and just a little bit happy. But I just made the opposite happen.

"Listen…" I don't know from where I gathered the strength or just the will to talk, but I kept talking.

So, after this one word, I lifted her up, me out of her and her out of me. But instead of not touching her anymore, I let her fall over me, above me, and embraced her like that. Flesh on flesh.

"It's not because I don't want to, is just that I think it's too soon. I don't think you're prepared, or at least, I'm sure I'm not. It's just that I think we should wait. I really like you; I really care about you and I really…" I rambled, on and on, until her lips covered mine and shut me up.

"I thought this is what you wanted, so I did it…I can wait as long as it takes…there's no problem in here. I've liked you since the first time I saw you and I'd be happy only by staying with you, talking with you, even though I want to kiss you every time I look at you, this is not about having sex, Naruto. I fell in love with you." She finished smiling, and a tear fell from her eye.

While I, at the beginning of her speech, I didn't do any facial expression, then I smiled because she smiled and because I liked what she's saying but then, at the end of it, when she finally confessed it all, I had no idea how I looked like or how I wanted to look. I wasn't able to say anything anymore.

"If you don't feel the same, I'm fine with it. Don't worry, but if you don't like anybody else, then can you please, just…spend a little time with me?"

'I embarrassed her and then I made her regret the fact that she loves me, made her confess she loves me and now she's telling me it's fine to treat her like trash.' This thought said everything. Made it clear for my unconscious state what it's all about but somehow, it still didn't feel real.

It was like I was far away from my body, like my soul left and watched her and I was embraced and terrified.

"Sisay, we don't know if we'll get out of here alive…" I had no idea why I started with that but I just tried to say something, but she continued, as if she knew.

"We don't know, but let's just assume, only for a second that we will. If we will, then, you'll be mine?"

She's trembling in my arms. With a heartbeat so loud and so quick I can feel it and almost hear it. It's like she's dying in my arms. And it all depends on my answer.

_*'My eyes opened slowly as I felt tears threatening to get out. But I didn't allow myself to be weak so I didn't let them. For him and for myself. I had to be strong. No matter how weird it is or how different we are._

_So, with only one thought in mind, I did what I waited for him to do, but this time, I took it for myself. I wasn't going to wait anymore._

_'I don't want to lose you too.'_

_With this thought, I lift my hand and put it on the back of his head, pushed his head down a bit more as I pushed myself up a bit too. Bringing our lips together._

_'So, I just…won't.' *'_

I embraced her again. Hiding my face in the crack of her neck, just because I couldn't take it anymore, so I've let the tears that came out of nowhere roam free as I talked so normal, as if I was just simply staying in her arms:

"I'll be yours. And you'll be mine."

Out of joy, or so I thought. She tried to push me so she can look at me, or kiss me. Nonetheless, I didn't let her. I stood like that and cried. Making no sound, not trembling, not even closing my eyes, while tears just continued and never ended, just like the pain I felt.

She fell asleep pretty quickly, while I was wide awake. Tossing and turning though having no space for it and probably disturbing her a bit too. But I couldn't sleep, again. And I couldn't do anything but wait, since if I got up from the bed then I'd be freezing. So I couldn't get up, could barely move, and what scared me the most, was the silence I had to endure, the silence which made my thoughts the principal actor.

And I was terrified since I'm having a conversation with myself, or, a fight…

'-You're with her now, happy?

-Shut up...we're not…

-Then what the 'I'm yours and you're mine' fuck means?

-Nothing…just words…

-Stop deceiving yourself for God's sake! It's obvious that you're together now.

-So what, what's the harm in it? She's great.

-Yeah, she's fucking wonderful except maybe the fact that she's not Him.

-We might die in here, so why does it matter anyway?  
>-We both know since …hmm…I'm you that you're not scared since you don't think you'll die here; you're filled with hope that you'll be released or rescued tomorrow, so cut the crap! Now you're terrified because you might actually be saved when now, you're most afraid to face the King than to stay in this cell for the rest of your life.<p>

-That's not true!

-Then what's true?

-But I wasn't together with him…..

-No. You were just in love with him, that's all. Oh, sorry, still are in love with him!

-Not true…

-Then how do you explain the fact that you're happy just when you see him, when you think of him, and now you feel guilty for you almost cheated him, well, you did, but not all of it, yet. You're such a coward that you can't even cheat all the way.

-I'm not cheating anybody…

-You already did, and that's not even the end since you agreed to be a couple. Let's see you, Romeo.'

"Shut up." My words echoed in the room, but didn't wake anybody up; I closed my eyes, ignoring the voice that laughed and pointed its finger at me, while the land of dreams was already waiting to offer me a surprise:

\Night. The darkness is enlightened only by a thin tread of moonlight. And I can hear my footsteps echoing on the abandoned streets, still wet from the rain that has just stopped.

I'm running, corner after corner, street after street, climbing stairs only to step once again on the soaked pavement, surprisingly, there's not even one puddle in view, as if the pavement absorbed the water to keep it wet.

The buildings have no bulb, no candle, no warmth, as if nobody lives in them, therefore, the buildings have no light in them, and they have no life, only the perfume of death.

A never ending circle of wet streets and buildings filled only with shadows.

And I run, I keep running for all I know is that it's war. I'm in a war. We're in a war. And I have to run for my life, for I lost. The soldiers will find me, and they will kill me. This is all that I know.

My heart beats so fast that it's all that I hear, for its beats are only echoes of the sound of my feet running. All that I see is darkness, a space lost in time and void. I stopped at a corner for I felt that there is somebody after it, somebody who doesn't wish me well, and now that I stopped, my senses are assaulted by the smell of ashes.

I rest my back against the wall of the also black and soaked building, and I squeeze my forehead with my fingers, trying to think of an escape, too tired to go right and left again without a certain plan.

But I can't think. I can only feel desperate, hopeless and …guilty.

I stay like that, trying to think, thinking of trying to think.

But it all stops as I feel a hand grabbing my neck, coming from the corner I stopped myself from turning.

I'm terrified but only for a second, because I spot a familiar face right in front of me between choking. And when he sees me, he stops tightening his pale fingers around my neck.

'Oh, Sasuke! I'm so happy to see you…'  
>I think it. And I wait for my mouth to speak them, but it's only my thoughts, my real ones, thinking and telling them. While the one who plays me in this shadow town, doesn't care about what I'm saying, doesn't do what I want him to do, even though he's … me.<p>

So I can just watch.

Watch as Sasuke's lips collide with mine; watch his tongue dancing with mine, his hands undressing me, and his member entering me. Right there, on the dirty wet black wall. But it all happens so fast and against my will that I can't do anything but shout: stop. But it's futile.

I look at the sky covered with black clouds, for I'm now on the pavement. Left alone.

And for the first time, the expression of my face from this world, and my thoughts are the same:

'Where did you go? Sasuke?'

I watch myself getting dressed on the dirty ground, and I watch myself fighting to just stand up. I can feel the pain of my body and the most, the pain of my heart.

Turning the corner I didn't want to turn before this happened, I see the soldiers. But there's no one left besides me and Sasuke on the street. And he's in the hands of two soldiers.

They caught him and they will kill him.

This is what I knew, as if the thoughts of the person I'm dreaming as me, let's me hear his thoughts, and probably he's hearing mine. But neither of us can change a thing.

'We're only spectators.'

I look at me, for I'm with wide watering blue eyes, being pulled by a hand, then hands, to be knelt down on the dirty street, with my face watching in front of me, watching Sasuke getting his head cut off, and I don't see it because of my tears but I can hear it and when I hear it falling, echoing all around this shadowed world, I start screaming.

A scream filled with pain.

And as I continue screaming, crying, and struggling to get out of the hands that are holding me by my arms. As I stay kneeling, seeing, knowing, but only hearing my own cry of loss, I can feel my head being cut off by one of them, like a thunderclap.

I can't tell which one.

For all I know is that he's dead, and I'm dead.\

All I see is black, but the black lasts only a second. For I wake up, and as I stand up, trying to recognize all that's around me, trying to remember where I am, what I'm doing, why am I here. I realize how little I know of this place. And how I couldn't care less, even though it takes me too much for my mind to catch up.

And it takes me even more time to realize that what I feel on my cheeks are tears, the pillow from under my hand is wet because of them.

Still, I had to remind myself for one thousand times that Sasuke's not dead. And that I shouldn't suffer from a dream.

'That is all it was, no? A dream?'

I struggle and I fight with the emotions inside of me, while in reality, my head is on the pillow, my body is still, and I'm not doing one single movement or sound.

However, a war has started in me.

I couldn't fall asleep again.

I couldn't even close my eyes.

"Naruto? You're asleep?" Sisay's whispering beside me, after too much time to figure it out.

It's quite the irony that she's been the one asleep the whole night, and without even looking at me, she asks me this.

After all, my head is facing the opposite directions of hers, so that explains it, pretty much.

So, staying there, with my eyes still awake, probably red and tired, I feel her arms half embracing me from behind. Holding me so close to her and so sweet that I feel like crying again, but not because I'm capable of anything else but thinking of that dream.

In the moment when Sasuke embraced me.

She can't see me, neither hear me. But I'm forced to get up, forced to wipe my tears when the lights been turned on, and the room is drowned in it, and I feel like my eyes are burning.

"You're fine?" She asks me as she also gets up from the bed and tries to turn me around, so she can look at my face. But she's distracted and so I'd be if only I wouldn't have to force my eyes to stay open and get used to the light.

The door's opened by no one else but the duo.

I can tell since I finally turned around and they both look at me suspiciously.

"You done dirty things tonight, she kept you awake or something?" Cloud is, as usual trying to joke, but as they say: the truth is told in jokes, most of the time at least.

"Leave me off the hook today; I'm not in the mood." These words are too loud for my ears though they are spoken by me.

"Wuhu, chill bro, and eat. Our stories are long as heck!"

I lift my eyebrows in question at his sentence.

While at the same time, Ryuu slides the breakfast insides our cell, or cage.

Sisay finally took a glance at my eyes, and her face looks concerned. But she says nothing.

'Probably, she thinks it's her fault.' This thought speaks in my pulsating head, out of nowhere as I watch her taking the food from the floor.

"You forgot? We said we'll tell you guys our story!" Cloud sat down on chairs they brought, looking prepared to ramble all day.

"No, I didn't forget." I lied but I couldn't ignore Ryuu's face which got a little sad at our conversation.

"That'd hurt us bro. Ryuu barely talks when it comes to his past, so you guys must be special so have your ears pointed at us."

His words are full of compassion for Ryuu.

And despite the headache, the red eyes, and the fact that I don't remember when I felt worse. I bring the bed closer to the bars, with Sisay helping me. And we both sit down with breakfast in our lap, staring in front of us at the duo, who are also sitting down but on wooden chairs.

I smile at Ryuu, for he's playing with his fingers, seeming hesitant to start.

And he doesn't even after I smile at him, reassuring him that I'm not judging. For there's one hell of a story on my part too.

He's completely silent, as if he's not in this room.

He doesn't look up. Not until I see Cloud's hand taking Ryuu's hand. Stopping him from playing with his fingers, and somehow, that gesture alone, succeeded.

Ryuu smiles back, and just then, starts to say his story.

To be continued…

**AN2:** Done. Again. Hope you liked it. This is officially the last chapter from the 'Thunderstorm' thingy. Next is almost written so if I get many reviews, I might post it sooner, and then get you one on Sunday, which will be two chapters in one week. Well, yeah this is bribery, but hey, it's a win-win situation.

Oh, and the pool is still up. (Since you can't tell from this chapter either if they're really together.)

Next update is up to you guys, sooner or Sunday. See yea, anyway. Thank you for reading.

**Answering reviews: ****Cassy: **This is a bit hardcore too? I actually like dark stories so you can tell… And about your theory, I love to hear those! But you'll find out from the chapters anyway, since that one is up to be revealed soon (hint). I don't know how you'll take this, but it's getting complicated for me too, I have so many ideas, I just need to stick them together, but there are so many…hope you'll like them nonetheless. Also hope you liked how Sisay and Naruto's "relationship" turned out. I had him not taking it so well, but we'll see what happens. Both of us : )) . Well, as I said, I don't think I'll give up on this story. Though I must admit, your reviews really keep me going for real. Though it might not sound so well, you really do. So thank you once again.


	21. Chapter 21:My story (1)

**AN1: **Hey, this is an early update since I got some new readers, which commented so thank you from the bottom of my heart for uchiha hinata21, and Yaoi Tama (though I'm not sure Tama arrived at this chapter), had me so happy…I can't even express my gratitude. Virtual cookies for everybody!

This chapter has been beta'd by konakisen.

Well, now, reading time, earlier since as you can figure it out, it is a reward. There are sad news too but you'll find them out in AN2, until then, I'll let you be happy:

**From the previous (last) chapter:**

_The door's opened by no one else but the duo._

_I can tell since I finally turned around and they both look at me suspiciously._

_"You done dirty things tonight, she kept you awake or something?" Cloud is as usual, trying to joke, but as they say: the truth is told in jokes, most of the time at least._

_"Leave me off the hook today; I'm not in the mood." These words are too loud for my ears though they are spoken by me._

_"Wuhu, chill bro, and eat. Our stories are long as heck!"_

_I lift my eyebrows in question at his sentence._

_While at the same time, Ryuu slides the breakfast insides our cell, or cage._

_Sisay finally took a glance at my eyes, and her face looks concerned. But she says nothing._

_'Probably, she thinks it's her fault.' This thought speaks in my pulsating head, out of nowhere as I watch her taking the food from the floor._

_"You forgot? We said we'll tell you guys our story!" Cloud sat down on chairs they brought, looking prepared to ramble all day._

_"No, I didn't forget." I lied but I couldn't ignore Ryuu's face which got a little sad at our conversation._

_"That'd hurt us bro. Ryuu barely talks when it comes to his past, so you guys must be special so have your ears pointed at us."_

_His words are full of compassion for Ryuu._

_And despite the headache, the red eyes, and the fact that I don't remember when I felt worse. I bring the bed closer to the bars, with Sisay helping me. And we both sit down with breakfast in our lap, staring in front of us at the duo, who are also sitting down but on wooden chairs._

_I smile at Ryuu, for he's playing with his fingers, seeming hesitant to start._

_And he doesn't even after I smile at him, reassuring him that I'm not judging. For there's one hell of a story on my part too._

_He's completely silent, as if he's not in this room._

_He doesn't look up. Not until I see Cloud's hand taking Ryuu's hand. Stopping him from playing with his fingers, and somehow, that gesture alone, succeeded._

_Ryuu smiles back, and just then, starts to say his story._

**The actual (new) chapter:**

The weak rays from the sun enter from the closed windows which once had white persiennes, but now, they are covered with dust, having a dirty yellow color.

To be sincere, the dirty yellow color suits the dirty old pale green color of the almost completely peeled off wall.

The ceiling stays to fall, the whole house being incredibly old, the ceiling it once had was a pale blue color with a certain design, but it's almost inexistent, it exists just in the middle, where just a bulb hangs, dead.

The floor has its own song, the wood which can squeak and which can also sing a different song each time it has a chance.

The few rays reach an old mirror which has some black spots, missing some pieces of it now and there, its frame it once had a golden color, maybe it was even gilded, I wouldn't know, because now there are just some random weak golden parts of it above the lower layer, which in the present are the only ones that hold the mirror, the lower layer it's made of pure old wood.

The mirror is supposed to be one with the wooden table that's below it, the thing still has a few drawers, and some of them still have handles made from wood with some flower design on it, the same as it is on the frame of the mirror.

I imagine that it once has been a marvelous and expensive makeup table, like the ones that the celebrities have or at that time, the beautiful women, and from what I know, it was bought even from when the girls were very little.

"What age were you when it was bought for you, mom?"

Chapter 21: My story (part 1)

This old makeup table is all that I have from you.

'No.' I thought quietly but firm, while I looked in the mirror, the dim light from the rays of the sun making my face visible in the old mirror.

This makeup table, my red hair, the feminine features of my face, my soft white skin and even my weak and slim body are all from you, yours.

'And my green eyes.' I thought while I closed my eyes, blocking the pain like it came from the old mirror.

For me, this is some kind of irony, to stay in the room of my mother, her only room, her entire life she has been here, she has looked in the same mirror, her reflection in it, my reflection in it, our reflection in it.

More, for me, this is some kind of cruelty and I know who the owner is.

"Come here! Now! Or I'll kill you with my own bare hands!"

A voice of a male echoed on the outside of the wooden door, the old wooden stairs shaking under its weight and determination, or mostly, anger.

The owner of this cruelty is also the owner of this old house and like he wants to label himself: The one that owns me.

"Brat! I said now!"

The voice continued to yell, his swearing no longer affects me; I've became immune to many things, thanks to him. One of them are his words, good or bad, mostly swears.

"Ryuu!" The demanding voice has said and I already knew. The rare times when he says my name it always ends the same.

He would usually beat me for unimportant things, but when he says my name, it's the worst of the worst.

'He'll kill me...' I barely even finished my thought for the old wooden door fell on the floor in front of me.

This no longer scared me, it isn't the first time and it isn't the last time either.

But what always surprised me is how my body feels the pain of his blows before he even arrives in front of me, before he even hits me.

The man at the door, with dark brown hair, with a weird color in his eyes, which is just inexplicable, and with a tall and massive body talked to me again:

"I'm the one who made you, and I will be the one who kills you!"

This man is my father.

From what he has always said, I am a mistake on this earth, and from what everybody says, along with him, I look exactly as my mother, and they even say that if my mother would've been a man, then she would've looked exactly like me.

The reason why this man, which is my father, hates me might be because I look like my mother.

Along with the rest of the list: I have dreams, I think too much, I am weak, I am like a woman, I don't work like I should for I don't have the 'strength' of a man and mostly, I am exactly like my mother, I look like her and even my personality is the same as hers.

No matter what I do, this person just hates me more.

I gave up on trying to make him acknowledge me such a long time ago that I can't even remember.

"Who do you think you are?" He screams.

And from the beginning until the end, a leg in my stomach so that I will fall to the ground, one leg crushing my cheek until it turns a bit violet, then the countless kicks in my back, ribs, legs, then stomach again, and all this so he can grab me by my red hair which is just a bit after my jaw and then to hit me with his own head against mine, once or twice, or at least until some blood pours from where he hit me, a fist in my stomach so I'll surely remain to the ground.

Sometimes it's more; sometimes it's less, so it depends. Now, he's a bit tired.

While he beats me, he also calls me names but I hear just the beginning of it, because after the first blows, I don't hear a thing, I barely see something, and I don't dare to move, it only makes everything worse.

It also annoys him if I don't recover fast, not to mention to let others see that I have a bruise or something, if someone comes to complain about me, which has happened only once, then I know that the second time, my destination won't be just the hospital.

And so, I lay on the floor, with my eyes closed until I force myself to move, and as always, I crawl to the bathroom.

The ones of my age usually use their money for buying junk food, manga, games, clothes, to go to clubs and other stuff.

I use my money to buy: bandages, pain killers, ointment for bruises, and many other similar things, and also makeup so I can mask the cuts, bruises and everything that might be visible on my skin which would indicate the truth.

It's different this time. Before, I was scared, terrified of him, and I did everything I could just so I won't be beat up, but this time it's different, the reason why the fights have become such an ordinary thing that he also grew sick of it, is because I don't want to give up.

Our family owns a shop, not a popular or wonderful shop, quite the opposite.

We have a house with two floors, and we also have a store but the house has been the house of my mother and the shop is also hers, which once had been quite successful.

Now, if we wouldn't have this old roof above our heads then we would probably be on the street.

We are poor.

We and the entire town, or mostly this part of the town, if you walk enough or mostly, travel, then you can enter the civilization, where you can see a block or a normal store, or maybe something more than hills and old houses.

'The haunted town' isn't explicit enough.

I am an outsider in my way, I was born here and I lived here my entire life and from what my father says, I will also die here.

But I have no friends here; the only friend I once thought was mine was a paid girl by my father, who just wanted to humiliate me more.

The others are all friends of my father, no matter if it's an old woman or a young boy.

So I keep my thoughts to myself, I keep the truth to myself, and I keep everything to myself.

All that I have are my thoughts, and my life, the life from my mother. The rest, it's not mine, it's his.

I almost fell with each step which I've took on the old wooden stairs, after I masked the bruises, after he left me, walking through the old depraved house toward the shop, the shop of our family.

Even in the shop, the walls are made from wood, along with the floor and shelves where we have our second hand goods which according to my father, they should sell.

And because of an inexplicable miracle, people still buy from here, but just because my father gives them discounts and because they are all his friends, and my enemies.

"'Morning my boy, help your father more often, would you? He's old but he works more than you do."

This old man before me with white hair and who has wrinkles all over his face, and also owns the most annoying accent possible because 'My' it's like a 'Ma', and 'you' it's 'ya' and all of his smiles and words are fake, a lie.

This man is more than old, he was young when my mother owned this shop, from what I know, he has liked her, enough to want to marry her, but she refused because she was in love with my father.

And that's why now he is the best friend of my father and my first enemy, he is the one that has 'assumed' that I disrespect the old ones or something like that, and he has told his opinion to my father, who has beaten me so bad that I arrived at the hospital.

He wouldn't allow me, 'cause I am nobody, to dirty the white page of our family, our respect and reputation. Which in my opinion is already black.

But the truth is that I still don't know what the old man has told my father, what I know is that I hate him with my whole being. He knew my mother, he knows the truth about this family and he is the only one who knows it, but he just wants to push us deeper into the mud.

The first time when I wanted to help my father was when I told him about his 'best friend', but of course that he would never believe me, his own son.

"Good morning, how may I help you Mr. Yasuhiro?" My voice is inexpressive as is my face, so he can't complain; a frown appears all over his face before he speaks with a voice somehow distant:

"One pack of sugar." This is all that he said and his accent didn't even make its usual appearance but I don't want to know why he doesn't look at me or if even his accent it's fake.

I immediately brought a pack of sugar and I told him the price, at this, he looked me in the eyes and said without any trace of his usual accent:

"I know." He said as he put the money on the counter, took the pack of sugar and put it in his old bag and then, he left without looking back and without talking with anybody else that is in the shop, which has never happened before.

I robotically served at the shop all day long, and all I could think of were his words.

'I know the price for the sugar, or I know about something else?' He didn't even bother to smile his ironic smile. And his accent was completely gone.

At the end of the day, some students came and bought some beer with real joy all over their faces.

And so, while I walked back to my room, I couldn't help but think:

'I should be in high school now, but instead; I spend my entire day at the shop, because my father thinks that education is futile.'

This has also been a reason for the constant fights, and also, this has been the worse subject for me.

I study but I hide this fact, I love to read and to paint, I think I really have talent even if I wouldn't know because I can't show it to anyone. I really would like to know more about everything. I like biology, history and romance novels are my favorite. But I will never use what I know but still, this is my only pleasure.

As I said, the makeup table still has some drawers, some of them still have keys even if they no longer have handles, the makeup table is the only thing I have left from my mother and the only thing my father won't touch. No matter what, so all my books and notebooks, hardly obtained, are all in there.

Her bed has been used as wood for fire some winters ago, I slept on the floor for several months, almost one year until Mr. Yasuhiro wanted to give me a present for my birthday, and he gave me the bed that I have right now. Mr. Yasuhiro is the best friend of my father so he often comes to our house, not just at the shop so he didn't throw the bed so the people won't be suspicious.

The mystery is how he found out that I don't have a bed and more, this bed is actually good, big and comfy. Which only makes everything worse.

'Wood for fire' were my father's words when he walked into my room some years ago to make an inspection, not just to beat me and he saw the big wooden closet of my mother, which actually had some beautiful design, it had a beautiful wood if that is even possible, and it also burned so beautifully in the fireplace.

I think the big closet annoyed him from when I was even younger because it was my favorite and almost the only hiding place I ever had.

Now, my clothes are in the corner of the room, where the closet once has been, but now I use that corner and the floor as a closet.

'Not that I have many clothes anyway.' I thought as I closed my eyes, and collapsed on the bed, ignoring my hunger until I gave up.

'I can't sleep…again.'

As if the whole world is against me, the house is no different, the floor squeaks with my every step, it's not like I am fat, quite the opposite, I barely even eat, my hunger is the one that doesn't let me sleep, and it's nothing new about it, but like every day when he has beat me, I can live without food, he thinks.

And so, here I am, in the middle of the night in a dark old house on the stairs that lead to my room, and that also lead to a medium size hall.

I walk slowly so I won't make any sound. And when I finally reach the last step, I stop.

I look at my right where the big dining room is or living room, at my left is the kitchen. However, at this hour, someone is in the dining room 'cause the light is on and now that I reached the last step, I can listen to the voices so I will know who is in there and not to my panicked mood.

"I can't believe this..." I heard a voice saying, outraged. I immediately recognized it.

'Mr. Yasuhiro, why is he here at this hour?'

I thought quietly but in the same time, firmly.

"You can't believe many things, my friend."

The other voice is also of a man, my father and I also know that certain tone, he's drunk and Mr. Yasuhiro is not.

He probably brought some wine for him and my father to 'taste' it. But my father being the alcoholic that he is, has drank so much that he is drunk, and the old man couldn't possibly pass the chance to ask my father some personal questions.

But I don't want to know.

I silently continued to walk, until I reached the kitchen and took half of a slice of bread, I immediately begun to devour it like it was the best food I have ever tasted. And it is.

I made some sounds of pleasure just from the bread until something moved some plates on the table in behind me and a bit at my right, right beside the door.

'Not that rat!'

The rat that owns our kitchen or any place where we have food eats better than we do, or at least than I do.

'I think that even a stray dog eats better than me.'

After I took one last bite, I let myself slip against the old wall to the ground, at my left the door stays closed, I stood there in silence for several minutes until a plate fell and shattered, smashed by the sandstone, the rat being the obvious reason.

Petrified in my place, I stood, I even refused to breathe, I couldn't think, the fear took control of me.

"W...who's in the...there?"

I heard a voice saying right after the door of the kitchen, and I already knew that my father has never caught me stealing food until now even if I barely eat a bite, he will think that the food that was eaten by the rat has been eaten by me.

In his drunken state...

'God take me now...' I thought while I closed my eyes and in the same time, the kitchen door was opened with such force that it hit the other wall.

I didn't look but I realized that the weak light was on, and I could hear that they are both in the kitchen at my left.

"You fifthly rat!" I heard my dad saying and I knew that he wasn't talking to the real rat but with me.

I opened my eyes to see my father with a bottle of wine in his right hand and with red cheeks. Mr. Yasuhiro stands behind him with a both confused and worried face, and then he began to talk to my father:

"William, calm down, he was probably just..." He said but my father cut him off with his screams but I understood every word that he said.

And I don't think I'll ever be able to forget.

All this has happened in seconds or maybe because my heart was beating so fast, it all looked terrifying.

"This is the last time you'll steal from me!" He yelled, his voice, perfectly clear.

And then, I saw red and black, I knew 'cause I could see everything for a while, the bottle smashed by my head, the one that has smashed it, my own father.

But after that, my father left as if nothing had happened but Mr. Yasuhiro kneeled in front of me and put both of his hands on my cheeks, covering them with blood.

I saw his lips moving, I knew that he said something but I couldn't hear, I could just see and I couldn't understand.

My ears howl so much that I couldn't hear anything and soon, I couldn't see anything but black.

I lost my conscious.

When I woke up it was with a severe headache, my eyelids too heavy to lift, my body too heavy to move, and the reality seemed just unbearable.

However, after staying unmoved for more than I could estimate and after falling asleep and waking up without moving for too many times, I finally decided that I should know where I am.

Being completely without any clue but didn't really want to know either. What I knew without opening my eyes was that I am on a bed, the only thing I could realize. It's too soft to be the floor.

And just when I decided that I will never open my eyes again, I heard a voice of a man talking to me:

"Wake up already!"

I didn't know from where it came, but what I knew is that it wasn't a voice of someone that I knew and the tone was annoyed and without patience.

After staying many minutes in silence, I opened my heavy eyelids to look at a completely white ceiling.

'I am in a hospital? Again?' I thought quietly and a sigh wanted to come out but I stopped it.

'It hurts to breathe...' I thought and I closed my eyes again.

"Don't dare to fucking fall asleep again!" I heard someone screaming and without knowing why, I opened my eyes.

I realized that the voice came from my right.

When I almost completely twisted my neck with much difficulty on the white pillow, I succeeded enough to stay like that and to stay with my eyes open, and it was only to meet dark brown eyes, black hair, pale face with a scar on its left cheek and thin lips.

'Another patient?' I thought but I said nothing.

"How the hell can you sleep so much?"

He asked me, and I didn't know how to react, it was like it didn't matter who I am or that I never saw him in my entire life, still, he swears but he's also concerned about me, it's like... he's so...warm.

"...how much..." I asked with a broken voice and it hurt just to look at him but I somehow kept my eyes open just so he won't yell again.

"Three fucking days." He said like he's making the most obvious statement, but still a bit ironic.

"Who the hell brought you in this state?" He asked with a frown on his face.

And it all rushed back to my tired mind:

'_All this happened in seconds or maybe because my heart was beating so fast, it all looked terrifying._

_"This is the last time you'll steal from me!" He yelled, his voice, perfectly clear._

_And then, I saw red and black, I knew 'cause I could see everything for a while, the bottle smashed to my head, the one that has thrown it, my own father._

_But after, my father left as if nothing had happened but Mr. Yasuhiro kneeled in front of me and put both of his hands on my cheeks, covering them with blood._

_I saw his lips moving, I knew that he said something but I couldn't hear, I could just see, but just couldn't understand._

_My ears howl so much that I soon couldn't hear anything and soon, I couldn't see anything but black. I lost my conscious. '_

I wanted to cry but just when the memory stopped playing in my mind, I heard him talking once again:

"I'll kill the guy! So tell me who he is!" He said, with a demanding voice.

My eyes were staring so wide, that it hurt me, at him with confusion and shock.

I continued to stare at him and he continued to stare at me, right in my eyes, exploring.

And even if it hurt, I smiled.

"Why the fuck are you smiling? Are you a masochist or what?" He said and I continued to smile, I almost begun laughing, he also smiled back and just then after so many years, I smiled for real and laughed for real.

It didn't hurt.

To be continued…

**AN2: **You arrived at AN2 and as I said in AN1, there is some sad news. Things happen very fast for me lately, and there is a lot of things going on and my head is all occupied with all the things I need to learn…so, I don't think there will be a new chapter on Sunday. Sorry though. It's kinda almost done but my beta has to be sure it's readable, so, see you next week. Hope this doesn't disappoint any of you, I might not even be home Sunday so yeah…I'm really sorry but I'll make up.

Oh, and Yasuhiro means: 1) calm and leisurely; 2) most calm; 3) most respectful and 4) abundant tranquility. Just so you won't have to search for it because it's annoying to find, I wanted to name him like truth but I thought that he is very calm and all that, anyway, you will know more.

I know it's a bother for both you and me for another 2 or 3 chapters with part 1 and part 2, etc but I just can't do it differently.

See ya next time, thank you for reading.


	22. Chapter 22:Our story (2)

**AN1: **Hello my dear readers, here we go with another chapter, well, as you can already tell, it's the continuation of part 1, there will be 4 parts (I think), but it'll get more and more interesting and then you'll get plenty of answers as a reward for your patience, you're about to find out (after these chapters) questions you all asked and twisted.

This chapter has been beta'd by konakisen.

But until then, be patient and enjoy:

**From the previous (last) chapter:**

_I wanted to cry but just when the memory stopped playing in my mind, I heard him talking once again:_

_"I'll kill the guy! So tell me who he is!" He said, with a demanding voice._

_My eyes were staring so wide, that it hurt me, at him with confusion and shock._

_I continued to stare at him and he continued to stare at me, right in my eyes, exploring._

_And even if it hurt, I smiled._

_"Why the fuck are you smiling? Are you a masochist or what?" He said and I continued to smile, I almost begun laughing, he also smiled back and just then after so many years, I smiled for real and laughed for real._

_It didn't hurt._

**The actual (new) chapter:**

When you are young, is normal that at first, you won't have any friend, or you have a bad relationship with your sister, brother or even with your parents. And sometimes, you don't even have sisters, brothers or parents.

What I know for sure is that I have always complained within myself, I have always thought the same-old question: 'What if…?'

I have always blamed the missing people from my life. 'What if my mother was here?'; 'What if my father would've been different?' and 'What if I actually had friends?' Of course these will always remain questions with no answer.

I have even blamed the way I am, the relatives whom I don't have and the friends that might be missing because of who I am; personality, looks or both.

I have always thought that I have all the wrong people in my life, and that one special and perfect person that might be able to change everything, is missing.

Strangers are a gift from God. Because no matter what the circumstances are when you meet a new person, you might always feel the same.

The stranger doesn't know what you have done in the past, doesn't know what you're afraid of or what your gestures really mean, if you are a really shy person or not, he makes the first impression you give him to be your personality, even if it's the complete opposite of who you really are or who you have been until that very moment.

Strangers are the start of a new path, a bright light at the end of the tunnel and a totally brand new chance that the stranger might be that certain special person which you have longed for your entire life.

When you meet it, you have nothing to lose, the things he doesn't know make you feel confident in yourself, and sometimes the total opposite of who you are or were.

In the eyes of a stranger, you can be anybody you choose to be in that second, because maybe you'll never see the stranger again, or you will, but he will know just the small piece of what you've showed him.

The truth is that I have never actually believed in fate, destiny and not even in coincidences either, but what I believed in without even wanting to believe, is that a new person in your life, can change the past, the present, and the future.

And also, I strongly believe that the person you make yourself to be in front of a stranger is sometimes more real than the one you make yourself to be in front of people you know you'll be meeting every day from then. Because you know it has no consequence after, so you'll show the stranger, the real you.

The stranger can make everything brighter or darker, it is also his choice. Don't you think?  
>Chapter 22: Our story (part 2)<p>

He continued to ask me questions like: 'Why are you laughing?', and the questions were always followed by 'stupid' or other colorful swears, but it only made me laugh harder.

The expression of his face was nothing close to anger, but smiling, and swearing in the same time, asking me the same question but with different words, repeatedly.

The noise I hear echoing in the small white room, it's my laughter. Strange at first, really unfamiliar, but after laughing more than I could estimate, I realized. It is mine, with my voice, and with my joy within it.

This scene continued until I was exhausted. I stay on my butt on the bed; trying hard to catch my breath, to calm down. And with an unknown power, I brought my fingers to my eyes.

'Tears of joy?'

Shocked, or terrified? I couldn't tell. As I stared at my hands, with my head close to them, like this is the first time I really see my hands, like I have been blind my entire life until now. A little wet, with tears, my eyes, and also a bit, my hands, with a few tears on them.

I stood like that, leaned, or more like waiting for my tears to fall on my hands. Like the earth, prepared, for the rain to fall on it.

But no. Not even one single tiny tear. It was like they refused to fall...

"Why are you crying?" He asked me with a completely different voice than before, worried, sincere and more than anything, a voice so clear...

And my tears have begun to fall, like they were waiting for his words, for his approval.

But despite what I thought, my tears were tears of joy, at a certain moment, but they actually have turned into tears of pain as the image of my father has appeared into my mind, and along with my entire past.

But I made no sound, I just watched with wide eyes, as the tears fell from my eyes, in the palms of my hands.

'Dirty way of crying.' I thought but I said nothing, I didn't move but something moved me.

"Stop..." He whispered, as he embraced me from my side, a voice so warm and also, a body so warm.

Tears fell a little longer, and as I stood like that, with him embracing me and caressing my red hair, surrendering to his warmth and with my head on his chest, his steady and calm heartbeat has played the sweetest lullaby to me.

I fell asleep like that.

I woke up to the same room but with the light turned off, and for some seconds, I asked myself why I woke up in the first place. My mind has automatically responded to my question.

'I had a nightmare...No...It wasn't a nightmare.'

In fact, I had a calm and beautiful dream; and that, is what scared me. It was so calm and so beautiful that I woke myself up, afraid that it will turn into a terrible nightmare with every passing second.

The comforting darkness with the rays of the moon as the only existing light, asthey're barely gently entering from the window with its pulled curtains, the silence, and the warmth...

I opened my eyes just once, to look at the windows, and then I closed my eyes again, even if I woke up, I guess it became a habit after refusing to do so for more than I can estimate, to just ignore everything and close my eyes.

Even so, in the dense silence, there was one sound, so very close to me.

'Someone's ...breathing...' this thought made me realize that just the blanket alone wouldn't be able to provide me such warmth, and comfort.

I opened my eyes, to realize that he's in bed with me. I am embraced by him, this time, totally.

His embrace is warm, and it's like he's protecting me. Just then I realized when and how I fell asleep.

_*'"Stop..." He whispered, as he embraced me from my side, a voice so warm, a body so warm._

_Tears fell a little longer, and as I stood like that, with him embracing me and caressing my red hair, surrendering to his warmth and with my head on his chest, his steady and calm heartbeat has played the sweetest lullaby to me._

_I fell asleep like that.*'_

And despite what one would think, I would normally have had jumped and freaked out by now, this has never happened to me. Not even once in my entire life.

'But this person...' I thought and I entered further into his embrace.

'If it's him, I don't mind.' I thought, and I closed my eyes.

Once again, I fell asleep.

Days have passed since then, but I still remember that moment, and my body still desires his warmth.

Even if I'll never admit it, not to mention say it to him, out loud. He'd probably just laugh anyway.

However, right now, he's still with me in the hospital, even if we're still strangers to each other.

All that I found out about him is that his name is 'Cloud'. But he never said his family name; he didn't even mention his family, not even once.

I just don't dare to ask the questions that have bothered me for quite some time now: 'From where are you?' or 'How did you get here?' and many other countless questions tightly connected to his past.

But every time I pick my words carefully in my mind, and every time I feel even just a little bit ready to ask him, I just say his name and he looks at me, with his big brown eyes, like dark caramel, and he looks into mine, already knowing what I want, and with his eyes, he asks me not to fulfill my wish.

As if saying: 'Not yet.'

And every time it ends the same:

He says "What?" with a voice so sincere, but never looking away from my eyes. He's always stopping me with that certain glance.

And I swallow my question, and I respond with a simple: "Nothing."

I completely gave up on asking him something that he doesn't wants to tell me.

So I decided to wait for whatever might come.

And now, he's on his bed, and I'm sitting on mine.

Before me, a doctor and behind the doctor, a nurse and everything, the walls, their clothes are all white.

"You're doing very well; you can go home when you want." He said smiling to me and I just got more confused than I was before, if that was even possible.

The doctor and the nurse made signs that they wanted to leave, when the doctor reached the door, I begun to speak to him, stopping him in his tracks. "What do you mean, when I want?" I asked and for the first time, the doctor just stared at Cloud.

Since I woke up, nobody checked up Cloud, nobody even looked at him twice. It's like he existed just for me. He was a bit cold to everybody, but me, or mostly, he's cold with everybody else but me, but I'm still clueless about everything.

A question which should have appeared into my mind from the first time when I woke up, weeks ago, or a month ago, just now, it finally made its appearance:

"Who brought me here?"

I asked nobody but me, and still, I asked the question out loud, and the doctor completely turned, and continued to stare intensely at Cloud, which looked away from his persistent gaze.

Usually, Cloud would already yell something like 'What are you looking at?', but none of them says a word, none of them seem like they're planning to respond to any of my questions.

Just then, I got the idea that Cloud knows something that I don't. And without restraining myself further, I stopped staring at the doctor, and instead, I stared at Cloud, who looks out the window, at the trees.

When I looked back at the doctor, he already made two steps toward the door, and I just opened my mouth to say something, but then, I closed it back. I looked at the nurse.

And, the nurse is staring at the floor, and she won't look up, as if she's embarrassed about something, as if she has ...orders.

'Even the nurse...'

I heard the door closing, but I wasn't looking in that direction anymore, instead, directly at the opposite direction.

Soon enough, when I didn't get any reaction, not even a glance, I almost tripped while I was running to his bed. I put myself on it, right in front of Cloud, certainly in front of his body, but not of his eyes, because in front of his eyes it's a wall and a window.

"Cloud, tell me..." I said with a calm voice, but with a heavy tone. From my every word, you could hear the importance and the seriousness of the subject.

But Cloud refused to look at me. So, I put my arms on his shoulders, then I said his name, and then, I started shaking him, but he seemed immune to all that was around him, including me.

"Cloud, please, tell me what you know, I don't even want to go home so it'll be okay, no matter what it is. Cloud?" I said, begging him, and just then, he looked at me, even if it's as though he doesn't sees me.

'Why are you looking like you're in pain?' I wanted to ask, I thought, but I kept quiet.

He just stared at me, took my hands from his shoulders, and kept my hands in his hands.

'My hands are so cold and yours...so warm...'

I thought but again, I waited, waited for him to speak; he opened his mouth, but with no sound.

We stayed like this for several minutes, I almost lost my calm, and when I was about to shout, he brought my hands to his lips, and he kissed them.

I felt my cheeks burning a little. Refusing to think about anything, but he kept his lips on my hands, and all I could do was to look.

With his lips very close to my hands, while he kept them with his own hands, he whispered:

"Some guy, Yasuhiro, has brought you here." He said, and then he stopped, but he didn't look up.

"Yeah, he's a friend of my dad...but why ..." I said but he cut me off, talking from the same position.

"He gave enough money for you to stay here for two years, and he spoke to me, not to the doctor, because he said that he doesn't have the time to wait for the doctor to come..." He said and I waited again.

'So what?' I wanted to ask, but what I understood was why the doctor was acting as if we could stay here no matter what, both me and him, and the only questions that I asked him, every time, he answered, but just the questions about my health, now, I get it.

'He looked at Cloud, because he's the only one who can answer, he's the only one who knows, and he, as a doctor, has done his job and that's it, but...'

"What did he say?" I asked, and I hated how my voice sounded.

From the same position he answered:

"He told me that your father will never accept you to live in his house again..." He responded, and in the back of my mind, I could just comment: 'my mother's house' but I continued to listen as he spoke.

"And he said that if you want to live with him, then he'll gladly raise you, like his own son, and he even gave me an address, and he said that he'll never bother you if you chose not to live with him, and also..."

In a way, I already knew why he didn't had time to stay with me, he just gave money for them to take care of me, for me to be able to have a new start, and as soon as he knew that I am safe, he moved from his house, from that town, far away from there, from my father and also, from my mother.

'After all, he really loved my mother, and to do all this...' I thought and I closed my eyes but immediately opened them as I felt Cloud moving.

And when I opened my eyes, was to look directly into Cloud eyes, at one centimeter distance.

"And also, he told me that right after your father hit you and….all that …he… he killed himself..." I heard the words, and somehow, I could also see.

'I remember...'

_My head hurts, and I feel the blood on my eyes, it bothers me._

_"God, have mercy..." I heard a voice saying very close to me, and I immediately recognized it._

_'Mr. Yasuhiro?' I thought, but even thinking seemed to be hard, my thoughts moved slow, it was like I was reading a line, letter with letter, not understanding what word they're forming, barely understanding what the sentence means._

_I felt like something moves me, and I felt the urge to tell the person who moves me to stop._

_'I don't want to move, I want to sleep...' I thought and soon enough, it felt like I was no longer on the floor, which bothered me._

_Weak light entered through my closed eyes, and with an unknown will and reason, I opened my eyes._

_In front of me, the living room's door is open, the light comes from there, and I see my father, standing on a chair, with a rope in his hands, he binds the old chandelier with it._

'I knew all along. But I refused to remember, I refused to think or to acknowledge.'

I closed my eyes, I realized that when I see the memory of what happened as if it's in front of me, but I don't see Cloud.

'Mr. Yasuhiro was so worried about me, carrying me with so much gentleness, while praying to God, but still, I wonder if he saw...'

I opened my eyes and I refused to think about it further. Instead, I looked at Cloud who seemed worried, who looked at me as if I was about to break in two, and my hands were still in his.

His hands holding firmly but gently, my own hands.

"It's fine." I said, because I couldn't think of anything else to say.

Instead, he ignored my lie.

"I'm sorry..." He said and I avoided his worried gaze, with all my might, but I know he searches for the truth in my eyes. But there is none.

"It's not your fault." I said and it was the truth and still, just then, it clicked.

_*' I wanted to cry but just when the memory stopped playing in my mind, I heard him talking once again:_

_"I'll kill the guy! So tell me who he is!" He said, with a demanding voice._

_My eyes were staring wide opened at him with confusion, and shock._

_I continued to stare at him and he continued to stare at me, right into my eyes, exploring.' *'_

'Why? When I cried and you told me to stop, and even when you slept with me in the same bed, when you embraced me, when you seemed to care just about me, you've talked just with me, these whole weeks, not because you liked me, not because you cared...'

All these thoughts have crushed me down, and so, I took my hands back, I got off of his bed, and this entire time, I could feel my chest burning.

"Ryuu?" He said my name as I started to run away, and soon enough, I was on the corridor, running, and he was running after me.

But I got tired, and after I opened the door, to go down the stairs, I slowed down a bit, and that's when he caught me.

Pushed me to the wall, and kept me there.

"Let me go!" I screamed, and I hit him with my fists, with my leg a bit, but he continued to embrace me, he continued to receive all of my blows, I even scratched him, but he didn't say a word. He didn't even make one sound of pain.

"What's wrong with you? Let go!" I screamed and kicked until I began to cry. I slipped on the wall, and he did the same, along with me, embraced.

I tried to push him away but he didn't move an inch.

I looked into his eyes and he looked into mine. I immediately felt the urge to run away again.

I feel as if he looks at someone who needs help, who is sick, who is weak...

"I don't need your pity! Do you hear me? I hate you! I don't need your pity!"

I screamed and tears started to fell from my eyes, the second time when I cried, and he's still here to see me.

I still look at him, and I cry at the same time, but he has no expression on his face.

"What pity?" He asked me and I was so startled that I couldn't but scream, outraged.

"It was pity from the start, wasn't it? You took care of me this entire time and you put me above everybody else, just because you know that my father brought me in this state, and that he also killed himself! What did you think? I'll help the orphan; he's weak and stupid anyway! Wouldn't it be nice to...?"

I cried, and I screamed, until my words have died in my throat.

With wide opened eyes, and with tears slowly falling from them, I stared at closed eyes until mine, also, have closed.

No sound could be heard, after I yelled so much...

Ironically, at one certain second I thought that he's the only one who would've been able to make me shut up.

And it's ridiculous, how in the same time, I thought that this is, probably, the only effective way.

I am exhausted, so I don't have any strength left to push him away, even if my hands are on his chest, but I just keep them there, feeling how quick his heart's beating.

His right hand holds my hair, protecting me from hitting the wall, but also holding it rough, pulling it a little.

His other hand was on my waist and now it slid down, to my thigh, on my right side, pulling me very close to him, while I feel a little weird. With my head against the wall, with his hand there, pulling at my hair and with the rest of my body, against his, as he pulls me closer to him and he also pushes himself on me, closer to the wall.

His lips on my lips, since my lips were already parted, 'cause he begun to kiss me when I was screaming, so his tongue dances with my tongue, and now, he bites at my lower lip, but when I want to say something, he kisses me again, entirely making the words to turn into moans.

'I can't move.' I thought somehow rather quickly, but then as his actions have slowed down, I couldn't, but to think again: 'I don't want to move.'

However, his actions, indeed, have slowed down, but that only made me feel even more pulled in, into his haze, into his heat and into his everything.

After the kisses have abruptly stopped, I opened my eyes, to look into his eyes, which are staring directly into mine.

Like you were waiting for my approval, a smile, a word or mostly a sign that I didn't felt disgusted by it, or anything close to it.

Even so, I stubbornly refused to show any sign of pleasure or disgust.

However, my expressionless face and my hands around your neck are two different signs.

'You're waiting.' I thought, and a sigh has escaped through your lips, and in that moment, I was caught, I could see it in your eyes.

'Why am I staring at your lips? Or … why can't I look elsewhere?'

It was enough for you, or at least that's what I thought when you hungrily started to lick my bottom lip, then to bite it, and then again, to lick it. After that, our eyes have met again.

But then I couldn't see yours anymore, as I raised my head a little, unconsciously giving you space for you to kiss my neck.

'It's too much...' I thought in the second when I was able to open my eyes to see the white ceiling, then to close my eyes again from the intense pleasure.

'My cheeks, I feel them burning...' This thought was the last one that has passed through my mind before I could no longer think straight.

"Stop ..." I said, in a rush as you've started to take my blouse off.

What surprised me is that you've actually stopped.

'And I was so sure that you'll never listen to me...'

I thought somehow relieved while you've arranged the blouse on me.

'The way he acts with everybody, and even with me, never letting me say no... Who would've thought...?'

These thoughts were proved while you checked me for any bruises, and further arrangements of my clothes, and then, your hands on my waist, and a sweet peck on my lips.

After this scene, we silently walked back to our room; we didn't utter one single word. However, everybody from the corridor was very curious and worried about what has happened, with the one that has crazily yelled before, now walks calm to his room with the other boy who has never had a quiet reputation from the beginning. Me and him.

You climbed into my bed, like a thief sneaking into a house, and while I let you embrace me, you've quietly whispered to me:

"What's your decision?" you asked me and I was a bit confused about the sudden unknown subject.

In the warmth of the bed, the silence of the night, with my eyes closed and the comfort from the white soft pillow and your embrace, it all has put me in a sleepy mood very quickly, but somehow, I've found the strength to continue our conversation:

"My decision about what?" I said, slowly and sleepy, in a whisper.

"You'll go and live with that guy?" You asked rather quickly, but very clear. However, it took me seconds to realize what you've just said, and when I did; my eyes have opened, wide and attentive.

When I opened them, I met your eyes that had the same worried glance in them.

'You're waiting for my answer...' I thought and I closed my eyes. I tried to think about my answer.

'Do I really want to go to live with Mr. Yasuhiro? And if I stay, what I'll do? Where will I live?' I asked myself these questions, and a voice louder than my thoughts has spoken from outside, from reality:

"I'm asking you if you want to live with me..." When you finished your sentence, I opened my eyes to stare into yours again.

'The question is: Am I able to leave you behind?' I asked myself this and I continued to stare into your eyes.

'If it's you...then...' With my eyes on your lips, I said:

"If you're fine with it..."

It didn't seem that you were convinced, so I quietly, but clearly whispered to you:

"Yes."

The moment I said this word, a smile has appeared on your lips, and you kissed me until it was fine for us to stay just embraced.

'Just now I realize why it took you so long to tell me about Yasuhiro…'

With this thought slowly said into my mind, and with a final glance at your closed eyes, I fell asleep.

And as always, I woke up in the middle of the night, in your arms, in your warmth, and the only sound that only I can hear it's the lullaby of your heart beat.

As the memories of today played into my mind; and mostly, the memories before we fell asleep today, a thought has crossed through my mind, and a smile through my lips.

'Who would've thought that you actually care about me?'

However, none of us could've predicted what was about to happen in the following day.

To be continued…

**AN2: **Yeah, I know this has become a bit …romantic….is like a bit of pink in the middle of the black, huh.

1000 Thanks for Uchiha hinata21 and Kiki2222. Made me think of what they said, hope you'll all like the turnout.

PS: The next chapter won't take very much, I hope, but reviews will make me update faster o (yeah, I'm evil).

See you next time, thank you.


	23. Chapter 23:Our story (3)

**AN1: **Hey, here's the new chapter. However, I must say this chapter well…you must read to find out. Hope you like it kiki2222.

This chapter is beta'd by konakisen.

Now, enjoy:

**From the previous (last) chapter:**

_"What's your decision?" you asked me and I was a bit confused about the sudden unknown subject._

_In the warmth of the bed, the silence of the night, with my eyes closed and the comfort from the white soft pillow and your embrace, it all has put me in a sleepy mood very quickly, but somehow, I've found the strength to continue our conversation:_

_"My decision about what?" I said, slowly and sleepy, in a whisper._

_"You'll go and live with that guy?" You asked rather quickly, but very clear. However, it took me seconds to realize what you've just said, and when I did; my eyes have opened, wide and attentive._

_When I opened them, I met your eyes that had the same worried glance in them._

_'You're waiting for my answer...' I thought and I closed my eyes. I tried to think about my answer._

_'Do I really want to go to live with Mr. Yasuhiro? And if I stay, what I'll do? Where will I live?' I asked myself these questions, and a voice louder than my thoughts has spoken from outside, from reality:_

_"I'm asking you if you want to live with me..." When you finished your sentence, I opened my eyes to stare into yours again._

_'The question is: Am I able to leave you behind?' I asked myself this and I continued to stare into your eyes._

_'If it's you...then...' With my eyes on your lips, I said:_

_"If you're fine with it..."_

_It didn't seem that you were convinced, so I quietly, but clearly whispered to you:_

_"Yes."_

_The moment I said this word, a smile has appeared on your lips, and you kissed me until it was fine for us to stay just embraced._

_'Just now I realize why it took you so long to tell me about Yasuhiro…'_

_With this thought slowly said into my mind, and with a final glance at your closed eyes, I fell asleep._

_And as always, I woke up in the middle of the night, in your arms, in your warmth, and the only sound that only I can hear it's the lullaby of your heart beat._

_As the memories of today played into my mind; and mostly, the memories before we fell asleep today, a thought has crossed through my mind, and a smile through my lips._

_'Who would've thought that you actually care about me?'_

_However, none of us could've predicted what was about to happen in the following day._

**The actual (new) chapter:**

Someone wise has once said: "Home, it's where your heart is."

Chapter 23: Our story (part 3)

"So, what do you think?"

Your voice clear and serious, while I still looked around, inspecting, searching for something, for anything.

The small apartment, cozy and sweet, seemed to be perfect, if not, then it seemed to be just enough for me.

After I agreed to live with him, he wasted no time in that hospital. You could say that he almost took me by force to leave the hospital at once, with him, and to come here.

From what I understood, he owns this apartment. Though, his father pays for it.

But he said that he lives here all alone, he studies here, eats and sleeps.

While watching the table with a carpet under it, I can almost see him with his head on the low table, exhausted after hours of studying.

The clean, but not too big kitchen, and yet another table on which a white mug stays. I can imagine him, drinking from it in the morning, right in the chair that's in front of it.

In the massive principal room of the apartment where in the very left corner it's a huge comfy bed with its white sheets and a very big fluffy blanket, the only bed from the whole apartment, I can imagine him sleeping peacefully in it, while his hair is spread on the big white pillow, with his lips parted, and the blanket just halfway pulled over him.

"Why are you spacing out stupid? Ryuu…come here…"

He said, firm at first, and then gentle, in a whisper, as I stared at his stretched hand. Just to realize that I was staring at his bed while thinking, imagining or mostly, day dreaming.

'But I wasn't implying anything…'

As if he got jealous on his own bed, he quickly sat on it, blocking my view on it, just for me to stare at him.

With his hand stretched, I hesitated while I still stood in the middle of the room.

But when reality hit me, I've begun to make small steps toward him.

Even though, for a second, I was surprised that he actually stood there with his hand stretched for me to take it, for more than two minutes, he watched me and my every move, and with my every breath and step, it felt as if I was too far away from him, until I arrived in front of him and accepted his hand.

He kissed it.

Outside, heavy rain wets the earth and as I can see, the windows of the apartment.

However, even if it's the middle of the day, outside it's a little bit too dark; the dense rain covering everything, the sky looks as if he's crying.

'For what or for whom? I can't tell.'

So I wondered why, because for the first time when it rained, I didn't feel lonely, not anymore.

His lips on my pale hand and his eyes wide open, staring at me, later to realize that he's been staring at my lips, while I unconsciously bowed to meet his waiting and already parted lips.

With one hand still in mine, while with the other on my waist, he gently pushes me toward him, our lips making short noises in the quiet room.

The only other noise is the rain, outside, its cry echoing all around the apartment, but not a disturbing cry, instead, it's comforting.

He licked my lips, and then bit my bottom lip to explore with his tongue the insides of my mouth. And a slow dance has started, but the kiss is so tender and so slow that it only turns me on more.

Without realizing, he succeeds, because he guided me above him, while he stays on his back, on the bed.

But this position didn't last long. He caught my tongue with his white teeth and I somehow pulled my head back a little, to have my tongue sucked back into his mouth.

He switched us, with small movements. His hands under my T-shirt, big warm hands touching my back as he tenderly put me under him. However, not even once he stopped kissing me.

Until, at once certain point, he decided that we've kissed enough. I felt a little bit impatient, even though I couldn't tell what I was expecting, but I felt drunk, because I can't think clearly anymore.

His lips, teeth and tongue on my earlobe then slowly advancing to my neck, and with his hands still under my T-shit, one close to my nipple and the other one a little bit lower, under my waist.

'I can't think…' I complained into my mind as though I felt the need to think rationally about my feelings and about his actions, mostly, about what we are about to do.

Because the impatience grew stronger and stronger, making me to occasionally grab harder to the back of his white shirt.

Even though, when his tongue tasted my jaw, I gave up on thinking.

I feel drunk because of his smell, even if I can't tell if it's his perfume or his own smell, but it's intoxicating.

'I can't get enough…'

I feel drunk because of his gentle actions, which are slowly driving me insane, with each kiss and lick after each sweet bite, as if saying sorry for causing even the smallest pain, but for me, it's a good pain, a pleasure that I've never felt before in my entire life.

'I don't want this to end…'

I feel drunk because of his big hands that are embracing me, guiding me to be where ever he wants me to be, touching me, caressing every bit of skin that he can reach. Long slim fingers with a bit tanned skin looking like chocolate on milk, because of my skin that's very white.

'Touch me more…'

For a second, I felt confused when I couldn't feel his mouth on me anymore, and his hands, then to realize that he's taking off my T-shirt, he pulled it up and took it off, he threw it somewhere on the ground, then he put his hand on my now ruffled hair, and he pressed his lips to my lips, his chest to my chest, and his hips to my hips.

The hand that was on my red hair, slowly slid to my ear, it felt ticklish but in a good way, then to my neck and then to my nipple, and when he pulled at it, a moan escaped my lips while we were still kissing, and then he continued to kiss me, but not my lips, again, my ear, then my neck and then lower, and when he formed small circles around my nipple with his tongue, and then he bit it, I couldn't stop my moans, but right after, I could feel his smirk on my nipple.

He must feel pleased with himself, for making me make such sounds.

I also heard them, echoing in the room along with the still pouring rain. They were strange, unknown, because my own voice seemed unfamiliar to me, as if it belonged to someone else but soon, I couldn't hear myself anymore.

The pleasure has clouded my mind.

However, I started to unconsciously tremble and to dig my nails into his wide back.

Because he traveled lower and lower, until he was at the hem of my pants. My green eyes, attentive and somehow, alarmed, my heart beating too fast, and also, breathing too fast.

With one hand touching just a bit after the hem of my pants, he looked up at me, and also came up to kiss my lips.

And with one hand on my left cheek and his lips with just one millimeter away from mine, together breathing in each others' mouths, with his other hand, he advanced to my butt and grabbed it.

"Ah…"

Was it a moan? Was it something else? I couldn't realize, my eyes on his parted lips, and all the feelings that took control of me, didn't prepare me an answer for his question.

"Are you okay with…?"

As if saying the rest of his question, he again but this time, more gently grabbed the left cheek of my butt.

In that second, everything stopped. I didn't look at his lips anymore, even though I still felt the warm breaths on my lips, colliding with my own breath.

I searched into his eyes, as he searched into mine.

I could again hear the sky crying outside; however, the wind was unreasonably quiet.

We stayed like this for seconds or minutes, even so, after all, he seemed to have lost his patience when with his hand that was still on my butt he pushed me toward him, into his groin, and then he rubbed up and down along with mine, another moan escaped my lips, and my eyes were no longer focused and reasonable, but clouded, my thoughts nowhere in sight, just emotions.

And after he bit my lips, and pushed himself into me harder and also pushing me into him closer, I barely heard myself when I responded:

"Yeah…"

The answer was half of a word and half of a moan, but he took it as a complete affirmative answer, and he kissed my lips with desire, as if he was hungry, and we tasted each others' mouths for several seconds or maybe minutes, still, it didn't feel like enough.

He then traveled down as he bit my nipple along the way, but even with this small comfort from him, I could feel myself starting to tremble once again.

He gave a small peck to the skin above the hem of my pants.

And then I could feel his hands taking off my pants, lower and lower, until I could no longer feel them, and then to hear something that fell to the floor, because in the dense silence, it was impossible not to hear.

Or maybe I am too self-conscious…

Even so, I didn't realize that he took my boxers along with my pants until I felt his lips on my naked member.

I grabbed the white bed sheet because he was too far so I couldn't touch his back anymore.

So, I dig my nails into the blameless mattress.

Then I felt his tongue giving it a long lick to all of it.

'My cheeks are probably red by now…'

This was my quiet thought because then I felt his hand caressing it.

I looked down at him, just to catch the moment when he took it inside his warm mouth, because after that, I've dug my nails harder into the mattress and pushed the back of my head into it.

I can't keep my head up…

With my mouth open, I tried to hold back my moans but didn't completely succeed, as he repeatedly took me into his mouth, fully, up and down, and when he stopped, I, without knowing why, I rose my head as best as I could, a little, to watch him and when he realized that, with one hand still caressing it, he made small circles at the tip of my member.

My head crashed onto the bed again, and I could feel his smirk against my skin again, as moans echoed in the silent room, I cried along with the sky.

When he took my member again into his mouth and licked all around it, I put my hand onto my eyes and pulled a little at my hair, for a second, but the pain from the rough treatment I was applying to my hair seemed inexistent for me.

With my eyes closed shut but my mouth wide open, and my hands still grabbing the bed sheet nervously, I tried to speak:

"I… coo…m…"

I couldn't even finish one word, but he seemed to have understood what I was saying, because his mouth wasn't on it anymore, just his hand and then, when I said it, his mouth returned to its place.

I came into his mouth.

'I can't believe it…' I thought this as I grabbed the pillow, and I've put it on my red face.

"Don't cover your face; I want to see it…"

He said; sounding really disturbed as he gently tried to take my hands off the pillow.

But he was gentle while I am stubborn and I hold on strongly and confident to the pillow with my both hands.

Nevertheless, he refused to use the same method, so he used his own.

I don't know where his hands were for some seconds, because they surely weren't on me, however, he didn't get off me because he still was above and on me.

Then I felt quick and sure, one of his hands, moving my legs, spreading them but I didn't had time to react at all, because I soon felt a warm and wet finger entering me in the next second, a cry of pain, of pleasure, or maybe both.

The pillow was thrown to the floor along with the other clothes. I stared into his eyes and he stared into mine, as he pushed the long and slim finger deeper into me.

Tiny cries escaped my lips as his finger explored deeper.

But just when I felt a bit used with it, he took it out and I stared as he unzipped his pants. To also realize that he took his shirt off and that his chest was completely exposed to me, still, I was barely aware that on the other hand, I am completely naked, even my socks have mysteriously disappeared, even if I didn't feel or seen when he took them off.

I was distracted by his naked chest that was beautifully tanned and muscled, and on each side of his shoulders, my skinny white legs stood, even if I don't remember putting them there.

His eyes were still looking down so when I stopped inspecting him, so I arrived on his face then to look at where he was looking, it was to meet his naked huge member that was just one centimeter away from entering me.

I didn't have one second to react when the intense pain spread from my butt to my whole body. I started to tremble again.

He put himself on me, so my hands were now again on his muscled back, holding tight, his mouth above mine, breathing together, but then, he entered a bit more again, and the pain was excruciating.

I bit onto his shoulder from the pain; I moaned and screamed; I dug my nails into his back so hard that at one certain second, I had no strength left into my hands. But he didn't complain at all.

He entered a bit further and this time I couldn't but talk, completely at my limit:  
>"It hurts…Cloud…it… Ah…"<br>My screams of pain seemed to arrive on deaf ears because he continued to enter, he continued to push further.

'I feel like crying…'

Even my thoughts seemed desperate, so I continued to moan and scream, to dig my nails into his back, and occasionally bite him, as he entered completely.

He stood still, for some seconds and then he started to move and with the strength that has returned to me, even though I felt very weak, the pain made me use my entire strength to try and keep him still.

"Don't…it… hurts…" I said between long painful breaths.

He refused to stay still, and continued to move until he had a slow pace and the pain was fainter with each thrust.

My pained screams and nails digging continued until my hands embraced his neck, quite relaxed but exhausted, and my mouth was covered with his, small moans parting our lips sometimes.

At one certain moment, I felt pleasure above all pain and above all the dizziness that covered my brain, eyes and body in some way.

I realized that he was fully inside of me, and his thrust was deeper and longer each time, as he hit one particular place each time.

'It doesn't hurt anymore…'

From slow, to a bit faster, then faster until we were strongly holding on to each other, together entering in each other, pushing, further, closer, both sweating, trying to kiss, bite, lick our mouths and necks, until I came and he also did, inside of me.

We meet halfway in that moment, kissing each other.

And so, outside it's still raining, that much I can tell, and I suddenly feel warmth and then a sweet peck onto my lips and then onto my cheek, I opened my eyes to see his eyes staring into mine.

He kissed me again, and embraced, we both fell asleep.

When I opened my eyes, it was to look at the white ceiling and then to unconsciously start searching with my hands all over the bed after him, but he was nowhere to be found.

I rose up a little to look all around the room, but there is no one around, the door of the kitchen was open but it was empty, at least the bit of it that I can see form bed, and the bathroom door is also open, all the lights are off, and the whole apartment is drowned in silence and in a comforting darkness.

I twisted and rolled all around the bed, until my head rested onto his pillow, just to meet my first thought in the late morning, very close to afternoon:  
>'The bed…smells like him…'<p>

An image from last night appeared into my mind, and I quickly closed my eyes, refusing to think further, refusing to realize or to acknowledge the reality, or past.

I open my eyes to look at the closed window, to see that outside it no longer rains, but the sky still looks heavy, gray clouds covering the sun.

I rolled again until I was looking at my right, at the rest of the room, in the direction of the door but also to see the only nightstand of his bed, while the other side it's collided with the wall and on that wall, the window.

On the nightstand, I see a white sheet, and I lazily but precisely stretch to take it, and then to try and read it.

On the half of a page, he wrote with a beautiful but messy handwriting, if that could be, a message for me: 'There's food in the fridge and painkillers on the kitchen table, I'll be back soon.'

A frown automatically made itself known on my face, as I finished reading and I've put the sheet back on the nightstand.

I rose up, a bit dizzy, to realize that I am still naked and I lazily walked to the only closet and picked up a big white T-shirt even though, it might be exactly his size but for me, it's too big, but it feels comfortable, while his smell lingers on it, and I also found my boxers on a chair that was right next to the closet where he folded all of my clothes.

However, I wanted to wear his T-shirt, I suddenly felt too lazy to put any pants on so I headed to the kitchen, at the halfway of my road; I felt my back attacking me with no mercy.

I struggled while I made the next steps toward the kitchen in the silent and dark apartment.

With my bare feet on the sandstone, I immediately felt a bit cold but the pain from my back was way stronger than any other tiny emotion.

I spotted the bottle with pills that was in the middle of the table, so I can see it, while other plastic bags with different things covered the rest of the table. I figured out that it was food, but they looked touched, so the actual food was really in the fridge but while I took the small bottle of pills into my hand, a thought appeared into my mind:  
>'You left in such a rush that you didn't have time to put all the groceries back to their place?'<p>

But I didn't have the time to answer to my own question that the pain stokes again, when I tried to make another step, so I immediately walked to the sink, took a glass and filled it with water.

"Shit…" I said as I slid to the floor and I've put the glass beside me, and my butt on the cold sandstone felt nice for some seconds while I opened the bottle of pills and took one, took it with water then I, without reason stared at the bottle to see that the price tag it's still on it.

"Where did you go, Cloud?" I asked the silence, even though in the back of my mind, I was making myself crazy because I already knew that no one will answer to my question.

However after three seconds, I heard the sound of keys in the apartment's door. I quickly rose up from the floor, and with the pain bottle falling from my hand along the way, with the glass still on the kitchen's floor, I almost ran in the middle of the room, to stare at the door that was being opened from the other side.

"Cloud?" I asked before the said person had enough time to actually enter in the room, and in my view.

But before I could even smile, without even knowing why I felt so desperate to see Cloud again, a cold shiver ran up my spine and then I felt sick and weak, as an old man stared back at me with a stern but a bit confused expression on his face.

"Who are you? And what are you doing here?" He asked me, and I opened my mouth just to close it again.

Somehow, in the silence, in that second, I missed the rain, because just now, I realize that the sky wasn't crying, wasn't sad, and wasn't to make me feel lonely, it was protecting me, protecting us.

Until now.

To be continued…

**AN2: **Well, don't kill me now. I know you want the same thing (almost) but with other characters but you must wait for that! Still, I'm feeding you with what I can. :D Oh, and there are two good news:

First: There will only be one more chapter left for this series of Ryuu's and Cloud's story, though they might be sad news for those who like the couple, I adore them, but I'm sure you all want to know what will happen in the present. You wait.

That brings us to the second news: I currently finished chapter 26 and unless my computer breaks down or viruses take control of it, I'm way ahead and I prepared you a feast with answered questions but maybe some frowns, but hey, you'll read (I hope).

See you all next Sunday, and if I get many reviews I'll post the next chapter sooner, all up to you. Thank you very much for reading!

**Answering reviews: ****Cassy: **You don't need to apologize for not reviewing the other ones, though I was worried you didn't liked it anymore and gave up, but I'm so happy now to hear from you again. I like how you understood it for it's just right. Can't wait to hear your theory :D I'll keep up the good work though I really need your opinion on not the next chapter, but the next next chapter and the next next next chapter. Well, you get it, when we get to the present. You'll find out if your theories have been right or wrong. Well, hope you like this pair too, I don't want you bored, I just love this couple…now, I'll stop rambling. Thank you very much, very very very much for reading!


	24. Chapter 24:His story (4)

**AN1:** Finally, this is the last chapter of 'Their story' series, so, review and you have the next chapter which will tell you a lot and it's in the present! Hope nobody stopped reading because of these series because I feel like I'm the only one who liked them...yeah...anyway...

This chapter is beta'd by konakisen.

**From the previous (last) chapter:**

_"Where did you go, Cloud?" I asked the silence, even though in the back of my mind, I was making myself crazy because I already knew that no one will answer to my question._

_However after three seconds, I heard the sound of keys in the apartment's door. I quickly rose up from the floor, and with the bottle of painkillers falling from my hand along the way, with the glass still on the kitchen's floor, I almost ran in the middle of the room, to stare at the door that was being opened from the other side._

_"Cloud?" I asked before the said person had enough time to actually enter in the room, and in my view._

_But before I could even smile, without even knowing why I felt so desperate to see Cloud again, a cold shiver ran up my spine and then I felt sick and weak, as an old man stared back at me with a stern but a bit confused expression on his face._

_"Who are you? And what are you doing here?" He asked me, and I opened my mouth just to close it again._

_Somehow, in the silence, in that second, I missed the rain, because just now, I realize that the sky wasn't crying, wasn't sad, and wasn't to make me feel lonely, it was protecting me, protecting us._

_Until now._

**The actual (new) chapter:**

Blind it is called, the one who does not see that what is too good is almost impossible, or not. The one who does not understand that everything that is too good always ends, probably, very quickly.

But you know what? This dream actually happens in reality, and it lasts the same amount of time of a real dream, illusion, mirage, that's what is beautiful about it, but when you realize that everything that has happened is really just too good to be true, then that's just the start.

You've arrived just at the beginning of a real nightmare.

'Blessed are those who do not wake up, the rest are doomed.'

Chapter 24: His story (part 4)

Pain dominates my entire body now because of my short but fast running, or more because of my short blind happiness; because now I'm staying in front of a stranger, while I'm wearing only boxers and a shirt too big for me and with a pain that I can not explain to him, or to anybody else, however, the confusion and the millimeter of fear growing and created by the tone of his voice, which sadly for me, resembles very much with the tone of my dead father, and that's why, it completely petrified me, which is a good thing for him, but nothing good for me.

'Move!' I ordered myself, but without any visible results.

"Are you deaf? I asked who you are. And how did you get in this apartment without my permission? Or do you have permission from my son?"

The man asked me and I understood immediately.

'This man is Cloud's father.'

"I am ..." I began to speak, a bit comforted by the new information, or so I thought until I couldn't speak anymore, not even with a trembling voice. His intense and attentive eyes are burning me.

Although I wanted to say that I am innocent, just a friend who slept overnight, although I did not like to tell just half of the truth but this time, the whole truth is simply unspeakable; still, above everything, we are friends, but I also automatically realized that I do not even know Cloud's family name, so I can't address to his father properly.

But normally, if we would've met in normal circumstances, then he would've told me his whole name. No?

'But I still don't know why he was in the hospital in the first place…'

And my silence only prolongs his disbelief for my words.

'What kind of friend am I? I do not even know his family name, what chance do I have for this man to believe me? What proof do I have? Wait, I just slept with him ... and I actually know almost nothing about him, the only proof is the pain of my back, another thing which I can't tell, and which he also can't feel...'

I immediately panicked, while I felt my hands suddenly sweating.

I contradicted each and every idea that appeared, more like popped desperately into my mind, until I declared war against myself, while the silence was extended enormously in reality. I was back to reality only after the man has started talking in a firm and serious tone.

"You refuse to answer me and if I do not get an answer in this second, I'll call the cops. If you're not his friend, then you can only be a thief."

I wanted to contradict him, realized that my stupid silence is completely misunderstood, and while I decided what I can say and what I cannot has already put me in a worse situation than the previous, which was also in a critical state.

"But I'm not… I am his…"

But the man continued to talk and I reduced myself to silence once again, but this time, curious and attentive to Cloud's father's speech:

"At first you had the nerve to rob the house of the son of a respectable politician, when this is simply crazy, and then you refuse to answer me. You are pure filth! Nothing! I can crush you just by saying one word. You just don't know with whom you've messed."

'Only ... Why ...?'

My thoughts got stuck while I'm floating on black, while I feel absolutely nothing but numbness, pure void of so much pain that my senses can't even contain it all so it turns to a dizziness so strong that it's like I look at myself from the corner of a room. A boy standing in front of a father, with wide green eyes and a face that gets paler by the second.

Although he does not know anything about me, he is the kind that believes that the wealth is above the poor, and above everything else existent, because after all, I am poor, but no, I have no reaction for I am neither proud of it but neither ashamed. I just don't know how to react.

'I cannot believe that this man is his father! My father was just the same ... This can't be happening.'

I thought in mere seconds until everything listened to the new person, who now struggles to open the front door, again, which is also behind the man who also now watches it patiently.

But I still barely registered what I was told.

'The son of a wealthy politician?'

In those seconds that seemed to be a lot for my troubled state, though they really were just seconds…this lone question continued to bother me, to appear and reappear into my mind.

Until the one who tried to open the door so far has succeeded.

'Cloud ...'

My whole being dared to whisper his name slowly, but continuously.

But by the time when my thoughts were left unsaid, in reality someone else's mouth said them, the voice of someone else, not me.

"Cloud."

His voice is colorless, the same tone he used with me, a stranger, and he also uses it with his own son.

"Welcome home."

His voice is not warm, but cold, false, re-bound, just ... horrible.

"Dad? What are you doing here?"

Then the voice of Cloud, with a tone that I have never heard before, he never used it with me and I don't think he used it with anyone else besides his father.

"I came to visit, and look what I found!" He said, pointing at me while I realized that in the last ten minutes, I did not move but only watched, listened, questioned, and seemed to be completely petrified.

But before Cloud could tell something, exactly what had happened to me, it also happens to him; his father spoke with a tone that cannot be ignored and also, he spoke above everybody else, even above his son.

"A thief! A miserable! I think he steals your clothes!"

Cloud has an unreadable expression on his face, although I realized that he looks exactly like me, pale like his immaculate white shirt which I'm currently wearing, and he's a covering sweat on his forehead from pure stress, but without any other reaction.

Somehow a fear arose in my mind above this whole stupidity:

'He'll put me in jail for nothing.'

But his father was incredibly sure of what he was saying, while I didn't say anything and neither Cloud, but I somehow waited, because I am a stranger and he is his son, so the man will believe his own son, not me. At least this is what I supposed. Or hoped...

But Cloud just watched me. Silent.

We've haven't been friends for years, but I've already seen him in many ways: nervous, sad, funny, sleeping, hungry, vindictive, competitive, and in love.

And many other emotions, states, but in this state? Never. He always jumped when there was something he did not agree with, regardless of where they are, no matter what happens, or who is involved, I was not even an exception when he didn't agree with me. But was he ever silent? Never.

And everything was a lie, something he honestly told me that he hates.

However, now his father has a totally wrong concept about me, but he does not react. It's not like he's supposed to tell him that we're together, eventually, maybe, or not, but even if he never told me that he likes me or that...

'He loves me? Or everything was just a nightstand? He's rich and his father has a horrible personality, so maybe, just maybe…No, no, and no! '

Shock! That was all I felt, that was all that I was in. After all the confusion, all the feelings that entered and escaped my body, my entire being, the last one got stuck in me, pure and inevitable shock.

"This is outrageous! I knew that the thieves were of the lowest class, but I never thought that they even steal your clothes! And look at him; he doesn't even have the courage to run away! A coward! This is…"

The man continued and never stopped, but he basically said the same things using too many words, so his voice transformed into pure background until Cloud has finally spoken:

"Father."

However, the man didn't stopped talking at all. It was as if he was even more fueled now.

"Such a disgrace and such a disgusting society with…"

"Father!"

The voice that I knew echoed in the room. The man stopped talking and I hardly stopped myself from smiling because I was still not sure of what he was about to say.

"Son, this is the truth, what…"  
>"No! This is not the truth!"<p>

Cloud yelled again but this time, I couldn't help but to smile. I was completely filled with relief.

"This boy is my… my friend, and I will not allow you to talk about him like he's some trash!"

"This boy? Your friend? But I never saw him in the meetings! What's his family name? But I never forget such things or important faces, and I…"

"Father, he's not one of the rich puppets of the society."

Cloud responded, and he's rather calm, even though I could tell that the remark wasn't used for the first time because his father immediately reacted and this time, with a visible frown on his perfectly stoic face.

"Then he's nothing. Why not become friends with …"

"I won't be friends with any of the rich ingrate brats!" He yelled to his father.

The old man no longer looks at his son, but at me. With bored eyes and with an expression on his face that it's showing his total disinterest, as he looked me up and down.

Then he looked into my eyes, forcing me to watch myself in his eyes, but this did not last more than one second, the intercalation of our eyes, but it was enough for me to see the only message conveyed within the eyes of a father:

-You're just dirt. You do not deserve my son.-

And for the first time in my life, I was ashamed of myself.

After that, he looked at his son; his attention is totally captured by anything but me.

'For him, I do not exist.'

And then, I could not take my eyes off the floor.

It was the last time when this man, when I, or when we, have ever looked at each other.

"Son, what is this unsalted joke? I will not recognize poverty as someone, or something in the life of my family. So be honest with me, he is here to clean?"

His voice was full of irony, of pure evil, and although I was still not without the right to watch them, I could see his defiant eyes in my mind.

"Yes, you will, because I care about this person and I will not give up on it."

So sure of himself and sharp, his voice filled me with happiness but also fear.

His father's eyes were the eyes of a man that always gets what he wants.

'He could kill us both, Cloud, I will not blame you if you give up on me. I'll be fine. Just let me get out of here!'

I gave up so quickly and I already hated myself for it, but all I could do was to close my eyes tight and listen while I was aware. Aware of a pain from a wound on my head, the scar that remained after my father almost killed me with his bottle.

'It's the pain only in my mind? Or the wound has opened? How is it possible? '

I hesitantly pressed my fingertips on my head to check, and then I looked at it.

'Nothing.'

"I love him."

I heard those words which seemed distant. While fear absorbed my ears, and my attention was on my imaginary wound as the conversation never stopped, and the only words that made me attentive were those three.

I looked up at Cloud. Who looked at me with an innocent but pure smile and kind beautiful eyes.

"You love a poor man?"

Words filled with hatred that made me shiver.

And in the next seconds, Cloud was slammed to the wall by his father's fist that has hit his left cheek.

I do not know when or how, but very soon, I was in front of Cloud who was down, still, I stood and protected him from the blows of his own father.

But it did not take long, because Cloud casted me aside once he realized what was happening.

"Stop! You're not going to solve anything by beating me! You don't understand? Because of you, she left us! You broke this family! You have lost your wife, and now, you also want to lose your son!"

The man took a few steps back, as Cloud stood before me, highly protective, while I was still on the floor with a little blood flowing from a wound that I still could not identify.

"Yes! You are the same as your mother! Two whores!"

"Do not dare!"

'You also grew up without a mother Cloud? That's why you can understand me so well? 'The thought was quiet while my hatred for Cloud's father also grew, stronger but silent. For I had no saying whatsoever and I resigned myself with this. For behind it all, this man protected his son as he knew best, while my father wanted to kill me slowly and painfully, as he knew best. He never protected me. I found respect for his father, just because of this. What I hated is that Cloud will suffer because his father will never understand him, will never protect him in the way he wants to be protected. I was angry at the low ability or capacity of selfishness, of the limited boundaries of the human's mind and heart, connecting with each other, destroying each other.

"Choose! Now! I, your father, or this miserable bum?"

"I do not have to answer you. My mother already answered your question for me too, and she did the best decision of her entire life."

Cloud said with a cold voice, ironic but sincere in the same time. Then he knelt in front of me, and began looking if I am injured, or at least this is what I thought, still, I was too stunned by everything that happenes in my face while the old man still did not move.

And with the same cold voice, he spoke to his son:

"I do not want to see your face ever again, even after I die. I want you to leave this apartment until tomorrow, and I also inform you that you will not receive any money from me, never again, and from now on, you're not my son. You are nothing but trash."

Cloud's father slammed the door behind him.

It was the last time when I saw him. And since I've been living every minute of my life with Cloud by my side since then. I am sure that was also the last time Cloud has seen his father.

After that, everything moved quickly, and a bit odd, without any questions.

We did not talk while we did pretty much the same things, extremely sure of every action, as if we speak through telepathy, by looking in each other's eyes. Talking without a word said, not even one single sound.

We took a shower together. We washed each other on the back, in the pure comfortable silence.

Then we dressed together.

His dark brown eyes and his black hair, his piercings in both ears and on his bottom lip and even on his right eyebrow, a black cross hanging from his left earlobe fits nicely with the rest.

We share a long striped scarf in black and white at our necks, as if it is connecting us.

Just then, I realized that I'm a bit shorter than him, he is taller, and I have a different hair style, a dark red color, and my eyes are green, my mothers. I also have piercings but not as many as him, one on my right eyebrow and in my ears.

However, our styles are very much alike, like we are in one piece, not two, and the one scarf which we both wear, connects us.

Our clothes are also alike, after all, I wear his clothes, with dark colors but simple in some way, that if you don't observe the jeans with holes.

And so we both left the house, hand in hand. On the streets, and after a long time of wondering all around the town, with nothing in our pockets and with no destination at all, something has finally happened.

_Like a black butterfly, he opened his wings in front of us, prepared… to fly._

*End of 'their' story*

Ryuu shifted on his seat as he continued by saying:  
>"We survived out of the kindness of the people, of strangers, more from those who were old and who didn't care what will happen to them, they just wanted to do a good deed for the youngsters, like us. We tried to get jobs, to get somewhere to stay but it was impossible since Cloud's father, as the respected politician that he was, threatened everybody's life and even the families of the ones who will give us a helping hand. No matter if it was about a glass of water, a warm bed or a job. I don't remember a young person with its future ahead of it to have helped us. There's only one who responded to Cloud's angst when the young man said: I have a family at home, I have to feed them, they are kids about your age, so I'm sorry but I can't help. At this, Cloud told him the following: Imagine we are your children, left alone on the street and we search help from another father who doesn't help us because he also has children at home. After this, he offered us a job, far away from him though…he helped us a lot. For every penny we earned, we used it to get as far away from Cloud's hometown, and even mine. To escape any influence, good or bad, his father had on us, mostly bad. We accepted strangers as our family. Our new and only family.<p>

Cloud continued when Ryuu stopped:

"What I hated the most is that my father told everybody, even on TV, newspaper, and I guess on internet too, besides that threat… that if they want to help Ryuu, then they're free to do so, as long as he dumps me, as long as I don't receive anything from him. Basically, tried to make Ryuu to give up on me, and when we really had no luck in some towns, I really considered that, I really begged Ryuu to just leave me, for I'll manage something but I wanted for him to leave me, I wanted for him to live, but he wouldn't have it. He never gave up on me. If we starved, we both starved. If we were too cold or too hot, we were too cold or too hot, together. And no matter what happened, no matter how bad we got, he never gave up on me. And I really wish someday I'll meet my father by accident only to tell him how much I want to thank him for trying to get Ryuu to give up on me in the way he did, for since then, and even now, I've never been more sure about a person who sits beside me in my entire life. And as the son of a politician, I had it up my throat with fake people so… yeah…fuck it.

He ended his own opinion in his own usual way, and I also noticed as he held Ryuu's hand even tighter.

To be continued…

**AN2:** There's only one person who answered my poll, with 2 votes, out of tree, the poll questions was(and still is)

-There are too many characters that aren't in the anime\manga which I created, and who bother you?-

Nr 3: you should consider to stop at the ones you're already having

Nr 6: It bothers me that I hear about their story more than SasuNaru

The two votes of the same person, she\him voted for nr 3 and 6. The ones I wrote above, the rest were more...positive on the matter. Which really made me think I'm the only one who liked these series but this is the last chapter, I couldn't end it like that, at the part 3...it's not normal, the most, this chap is my favorite out of the 4, but still... thank you very much for whoever voted for its sincerity and also thank you for everybody who stuck with me, with this story, didn't gave up on it just because of these four chapters that are just about the ones I created, I hope it'll make more sense in the future, why I did and created what I created.

And, the review for the next chapter to be posted soon is still up, for the last chapter didn't get any review, it is just that I got scared :D and hey, I'm talking about the next two chapters that are finished, unbeard but finished! And God, I can only say...God. What I've done there.

Well, that's it for all.

Thank you very much for reading.


	25. Chapter 25:A wandering soul

**AN1: **Hello dear readers, I know it's not Sunday yet but tomorrow it's a really busy day and a day I don't think I'll even be home so I thought I will give you the chapter now so everybody will be pleased. And if you've been waiting for us to finally come back to the present, well…here it is.

Oh, and I am sorry to say this is Not beta'd, at least not yet.

**From the previous (last) chapter:**

_Ryuu shifted on his seat as he continued by saying:  
>"We survived out of the kindness of the people, of strangers, more from those who were old and who didn't care what will happen to them, they just wanted to do a good deed for the youngsters, like us. We tried to get jobs, to get somewhere to stay but it was impossible since Cloud's father, as the respected politician that he was, threatened everybody's life and even the families of the ones who will give us a helping hand. No matter if it was about a glass of water, a warm bed or a job. I don't remember a young person with its future ahead of it to have helped us. There's only one who responded to Cloud's angst when the young man said: I have a family at home, I have to feed them, they are kids about your age, so I'm sorry but I can't help. At this, Cloud told him the following: Imagine we are your children, left alone on the street and we search help from another father who doesn't help us because he also has children at home. After this, he offered us a job, far away from him though…he helped us a lot. For every penny we earned, we used it to get as far away from Cloud's hometown, and even mine. To escape any influence, good or bad, his father had on us, mostly bad. We accepted strangers as our family. Our new and only family.<em>

_Cloud continued when Ryuu stopped:_

_"What I hated the most is that my father told everybody, even on TV, newspaper, and I guess on internet too, besides that threat… that if they want to help Ryuu, then they're free to do so, as long as he dumps me, as long as I don't receive anything from him. Basically, tried to make Ryuu to give up on me, and when we really had no luck in some towns, I really considered that, I really begged Ryuu to just leave me, for I'll manage something but I wanted for him to leave me, I wanted for him to live, but he wouldn't have it. He never gave up on me. If we starved, we both starved. If we were too cold or too hot, we were too cold or too hot, together. And no matter what happened, no matter how bad we got, he never gave up on me. And I really wish someday I'll meet my father by accident only to tell him how much I want to thank him for trying to get Ryuu to give up on me in the way he did, for since then, and even now, I've never been more sure about a person who sits beside me in my entire life. And as the son of a politician, I had it up my throat with fake people so… yeah…fuck it._

_He ended his own opinion in his own usual way, and I also noticed as he held Ryuu's hand even tighter._

**The actual (new) chapter:**

'The easiest way it's always the wrong one.'

'Why am I thinking about it like it's all in the past now?'

Chapter 25: A wandering soul

We finished our breakfast, maybe hours ago, I couldn't tell. I've been so caught up in their story, since it first was Ryuu's story, then it seemed like Cloud's story, no matter what, it involved both of them and I'd lie by saying it wasn't sad or even scary, for their stories somehow connected them, made them what they are today, though I'm not pretty sure what they are besides good people tried by life in every possible way. Just like their scarf, they are somehow …connected.

"So, you cool with it?" Cloud's words were followed by a small smile that didn't quite reach his eyes for I could tell that I was still yet to blink, I still couldn't believe it was over. I felt that there were questions that still had no answers, and which assaulted me the moment they stopped narrating, however, the questions came in waves of emotions, of pain and sorrow, nothing happy or bright. There was none of that.

In the corner of my eye, I could spot Sisay nodding beside me and I could also tell it was an absent nod since there's nobody who wouldn't have been impressed, or at least…revolted.

'Absurd.'

The only thought which passed through my mind as their eyes fell on me, waiting for my approval or disapproval for their own existence. With small smiles that didn't reach their clouded eyes which were a little bit still stuck in the past, after being forced to remember and see it, again and again, for us, for some… strangers?

"So...any questions?" Ryuu shyly started by catching my attention with his intonation, directed at me but I was annoyed by it.

'What do you expect for me to say? Who am I to judge you people? To say you were not guilty for all the bad that has happened to you both? I'm sure of that now. But who am I to say something, to approve or disapprove life itself? Your lives! To question it, have doubts or what?'

A scowl that might've been misunderstood because Ryuu's smile got even smaller and I was easily feeling incriminated by possibly acting like a cold bastard, which I is not true. However, their attention changed to Sisay who finally talked after an entire moment of uncomfortable silence.

"I get what happened, but what I don't understand is how you two got here? Isn't this the evil side of things? Since the King rescues the ones you want to kill, like you plan killing us, since we're locked up…?"

Sisay's question spoke volumes, a bit clumsy in her explanation, but still, a question that involved both them and us, a cleaver one if you ask me, since I couldn't even form one word, though, I was really curious and really concentrated on them, on their facial expressions, if their breathing rate increased, but I wasn't able to tell any of that. The only change that took place in the next second was the loss of their smiles.

"You think that if… if we'd be the criminals? You think we'd be standing here, helping you and telling you guys our stories only to kill you both after we end them?" For the first time, Cloud said a whole sentence without swearing which alarmed me more, didn't calm me one bit though.

"So, you're not the criminals, but what about the ones you work for? They are saints? How did you guys get here, and what will you do to us? These are the questions I have."

Sisay was calm, so calm it was ironic because I was having a heart attack and she's supposed to be the woman here!

I can't say I don't agree with her questions or that I'm not having the same questions, but I'm honestly expecting them to grin and say: 'Kidding.' To get a gun or a sword out of nowhere and end our lives in that instant, but none of that happened. Instead, they both looked at each other wide eyed.

"I wouldn't say they're saints but they're not evil either. And we got here just like you two, and we take people from your King since he's the one murdering them! We rescue them! And make them part of our family."

Ryuu's words didn't fit, at all, with the image we had. In fact, it seems like they were the good people and we were the bad ones. So, after too much time I couldn't ever estimate, I finally talked:  
>"You think is normal that when your side rescues someone, they end up locked in a freaking cell? Or you bring them to your village and let them do whatever they want to do like our King does when He rescues someone?"<p>

They went pale and I could see realization in their eyes. I could see the years they spent taking care of the prisoners, believing that they're doing good deeds for the right side, that the prisoners will leave the cell alive to live God knows where, hating the other side but knowing nothing about it or their King, knowing nothing of the way we've been brought here, kidnapped in the whole sense of the word, and that what our King does is indeed rescuing.

They've been so blind to all the signs, intentionally. And they were attracted to us, they choose to tell us their story because they felt that we could give them the answers and now, even now, they deny it though they already know. Their whole being knows but they're too scared to admit it, too scared to face it, or to start fresh again, afraid to go through hell again. Since they're protected by the hell's side itself.

"You're wrong." Ryuu said but he didn't believe it. Cloud didn't say anything, he seemed far away in thoughts, or in the past, putting two to two together.

"I am not wrong! Think about it! They let us freeze and starve here! This isn't the way to treat someone you want to rescue! You ignored their lies so bad that you started believing them yourselves! I don't know your reasons or maybe I can get where you came from now, and how afraid you both are to stray from a place you now call home again, but believe me! The other side is where you two belong! You're good people! And so are they, us and the King! His people! His army! You know it! You just don't want to believe it!"

"Enough!"

Cloud yelled, silenced me and also got up from his seat. With such force that the chair retreated a bit from its original place, his eyes are cold and with hate, since he's refusing it all, with good knowledge, I can tell.

And he only proves I'm right when he takes Ryuu's hand, makes him stand up and brings him closer to his own body only to speak with him.

'You're protecting Ryuu! You knew all along!'

"We have no business with liars Ryuu. Let's leave, you know they're fucking liars Ryuu, let them rot in their lies Ryuu."  
>Repeating his name over and over again, driving him numb, since Ryuu's eyes are already half closed but I could tell they're filled with pain. Since is true, they can choose to ignore the truth or face it. And when Cloud drags Ryuu out the door and then closes it, I can guess their choice's been made.<p>

'The easiest way it's always the wrong one.'

We were left in complete darkness only seconds later, and I could tell we won't get any dinner tonight. The day passed so quickly because of their story that we were yet to meet our empty stomachs in the bed we now finally put in its original place as we silently put ourselves under the blankets.

I felt disappointed by them. They didn't deserve the darkness they lived into since they weren't at fault at all. But now, they are to blame! They refuse to fight, therefore they pay for it.

'Trying to remain blind when you're no longer blind is not easy at all. I should know…'

Since I've lived in darkness most of my life until I was forced to meet the outside world, to see only its ugliest side, to want to go back to the good, but with no option left but to fight since I've never been a quitter. I had to be something, do something, if not marvelous then at least something I won't hate myself for, like giving up the life my mother and father gave me. So I choose to wonder through the dark tunnel until I meet the light.

The light never really existed because not even today, I don't really know what I'm supposed to do. I search in people's pasts but I really don't want to search into my own. I can really understand the duo. But somehow, we're different. I still have the time, I give myself the time to recover and hope that one day I will be strong enough to face my fate, my past and my goal in life.

They gave up on it and choose to stay in the darkness, forever.

'They ignore the light.'

I never gave up fighting, since though I hate to admit it, when I search into people's pasts… I tend to hear my heart in my ears; it beats so fast that it hurts. I always expected to see a small connection to me, to my family, to my own past and until now, it never happened but I've been patient and ignored the fact that I'm still fighting for myself.

I'm a bit selfish but it's been the only way I've been able to let myself to still fight, for me but for my family too. Never admitting it, made me to continue and do it.

Being kidnaped and then being rescued by Sasuke has been the best thing that could ever happen to me. For I've became part of his army, learned many things and my life was worth something. Even if I took part of killing people, since I drove Sasuke's car while he shoot people, I also took part of rescuing people's lives! I couldn't possibly ask for more.

'Why am I thinking about it like it's all in the past now?'

I closed my eyes for the headache returned, my eyes still hurt and that reminded me of my sleepless night. I rejected the memory immediately since I started to think it's the time to let the sleep to take me away from this horrible reality. But Sisay helped me reject the memory, but also stopped me from falling asleep by calling my name:  
>"Naruto?"<p>

"Hmm?" I murmured without opening my eyes only to feel her shifting closer to me.

I was prepared to fake feeling numb from staying all day in bed and start walking through the small cell with the probability of freezing to death until she falls asleep to just avoid her body. Talking with her was still a pleasure or so I thought…

"You think they're the only ones who don't know they're not on the good side?"

The question really passed through my mind too but it was really impossible for me to tell since the only people I've meet from this damned place have been the duo. Who will probably never visit us again.

"I don't know. Maybe yes, maybe not. But even so, I think the number of people who know they're not on the good side outnumber the ones who are not sure if they're on the good side."  
>"What makes you think that?"<p>

"Ryuu and Cloud knew it too, before we told them. But is just that they prefer remaining blind. They're probably not the first to realize it and so, the others maybe got killed so now, they're protecting each other by remaining blind…?" I clumsily finished an idea I still didn't really think about much.

"Yeah, I think so too."  
>We both turned and started into each other's eyes without any real reason. We both looked exhausted; even she looked tired though she slept last night. It wasn't only physically, but also mentally. We were drained of powers, and now that the duo won't take care of us anymore. Fear returned. Fear that maybe they will take the bed away and we'll have to sleep on the cold floor again, fear the we won't eat anything but bread and water from now on, hoping that we'll eat at least that, and fear that maybe somebody will separate us.<p>

And from her eyes, I could tell that the greatest fear of them all was being separated from me. There won't be any sanity left.

No warmth provided by bodies, no talking to anybody, not being cared about, nothing; only the coldness of the cell and the hope of dying a quick and maybe a painless death.

Waiting for something to happen. Waiting for something to hit or help. Will probably drive us mad sooner or later even if we remain together. But at least…we'll lose our sanity together.

If only I knew, in that very moment that we'll stare into each other's sane eyes for the last time. If only I knew that this is the last time we'll be this close and this calm. If only I knew that the peck on my lips she placed in those final seconds will be…our last kiss.

If only I knew…I would've kissed her back without regretting it.

I swear.

Today, I've been the one thinking that being blind is not good for anybody. Thinking that I've refused being blind until now and that I've never been more sure I'll never let myself be blind. But just like Cloud, and even Ryuu, I've been blind for only one second, for somebody I love and care about; but in the last second when I felt the fur that only a cat can have, brushing against my back, as if…comforting me.

I…ignored it.

Countless steps barged inside in the still unlighted room. Feet wearing heavy boots, that of an army, supporting muscled men that only in seconds…they…destroyed everything.

We didn't even have the time to look behind us; we were staring in our eyes in the moment I heard steps and then the gate of our cell being opened, its usual annoying squawk. Only to feel hands grabbing my arms and forcing me out of bed with a painful hold and what I'll never forget until the day I die is… Sisay's scream as she was forced to her knees just like I was. To have my eyes covered with something, my hands tied up and all of this, happened in only mere seconds.

She didn't scream anymore, in fact, I wasn't even sure if she was with me anymore. I wasn't sure of anything. For all I could hear were the boots of the men and their hands pushing me to walk without stopping. No voice other than that of a man which also pushes me or so I think while screaming:  
>"Walk weakling! Walk or I'll kill you!"<p>

Of course I walked since it isn't like they made such grave damage with their boots in my stomach, but I could tell they were lenient, however, even if those were not so powerful blows since I made no resistance though I wanted to, very much, I was sure that if they also hit Sisay, for her, those would make some bruises or even break a bone…I just hoped they realized how fragile she is! But why would they care after all?

Why would they care about whom I care?  
>After walking and never stopping, after being turned right and left until I couldn't tell if I was even in the world as we know it, with strong harsh hands, one of them pushed me so hard that it was planned for that blow to make me kneel and after getting so confused and so desperate, already feeling sick, I fell on my knees waiting.<p>

I felt sweat rolling off from my forehead to my cheek as I stood there in complete silence, on the ground, waiting for something, anything or probably, only waiting for death; though I really couldn't welcome it while knowing that Sisay isn't safe. In fact, being sure that she isn't safe.

And with Sasuke's smirking expression facing me in the darkness, as if he was saying: I trained you for nothing. And damn right he was. I was pissed and afraid in the same time.

"They're here."

The familiar voice of the man which ordered me around echoed through, I could only assume, a bigger room since it was capable of having the echo of a voice.

"I can see that."

Another voice, unfamiliar and colder, and if it's possible, it made me feel like I had no hope left. That voice sent shivers down my spine and that voice made me fall even lower than the ground. I was assaulted by pain as if a spell took control of me.

I couldn't even cry, I couldn't even breathe until I felt that the pain disappeared or at least…became more bearable.

"Women first."  
>My heart felt the pain forming and then exploding as I heard the cold voice speaking, and I just knew.<p>

'Sisay is with me, in this room, and she's the first to die and I can't do anything about it.'

I expected to hear a gunshot or a sword being pulled out. I tried releasing my arms but it was just not possible, I only hurt myself and even if I'd get up, there'd be no way I'd know where they are, since I can't see anything.

But the voice that spoke after the piece of silence I felt even in my very core was familiar and heartbreaking.

"Plea…se…you…c…an …kill…me…ju...st...do...n't…ki...ll...him!"

'She's …protecting me?'

Sisay's voice proved that she's in pain, and as if hinted, I was sure the pain I felt earlier was just a joke compared to what she's feeling now but nobody hit me when I felt that pain, nothing touched me, it was just…pain.

"Oh, you're protecting your little friend? How kind of you. But you should be thinking about your life before you start protecting someone else who might not be worthy of it."  
>I approved to the emotionless voice, I didn't care if I ended up dead, I wished for her protection, her well and her life, though the only voice who still talked seemed to have no intention of that, still, I assumed he's the 'King' of this side. And my King wouldn't be pleased by letting its citizen die right beside his soldier.<p>

It is as if my shame intensified to the roof, even if I had bigger problems now…so odd…

"Besides, who said I'm even considering letting one of you live?"

I gritted my teeth and as if that caught his attention because he stopped talking, the pain returned. In full force; I felt my teeth hurting, bleeding…

As if convincing me that even the tiniest disobeying act, feeling, or movement is visible to his eye and will be punished, without exception.

And then, it was gone.

"Sit, woman."  
>Silence covered everything for the next seconds only for his voice to fill it again, as if he's everywhere, besides me, in front of me, behind me, and within me.<p>

And I was somehow sure it had nothing to do with the wideness of the room that can leave an echo, for his echo was within my very organs, mind and soul.

"Now, I want to hear the story of your life."

"What?"  
>Her voice was clear, this time, not in pain. But that only lasted for one whole word since the next thing I hear is her scream made out of pain. I tried to get up but I also felt pain that forced me to stay down. Again, nobody touched me.<p>

"Don't make me tell you twice."

He's not yelling, but it's as if he's vibrating through us, he owns us, completely.

"I've only been a young girl from Africa, living like the rest of the women there, until our enemies killed my family, and burned the small village we had, out of jealousy for the peace we lived into with each other, they killed them all, I was one of the few who survived but I got lost and somehow ended up on a boat which took me far away from Africa, and some hippie guy led me to an airport, telling me I'll be able to start a new life to the destination that the plane had. I had nothing to lose so I accepted. The next thing I know is that the King soldier's took me away when I arrived in that empty and haunted city and then gave me a house and protection, and since then, I've been living there."

'A hippie guy? Unbelievable …'

"Therefore, you don't hate anybody? You don't hate the ones who killed your family, burned your house and not even the one who brought you here? Don't you want to get …revenge? Not even on me for wanting to kill your friend?"

The voice suddenly spoke to her, not to me, not to anybody else, the vibration from within I felt all the while he talked until now was barely existent and I was sure it was all concentrated on her.

Her answer will decide her fate and somehow, I was sure this is how he proceeded with the ones he wanted to take under his wing, but only those he thought they had some hate in them were worth sparing. And it was no surprise that Ryuu and Cloud got accepted, I know their stories now, and Ryuu had almost no regret over his father's death and Cloud hated his father for sure, it was clear that they somehow fit like a glove, but still…they are good people, just like Sisay.

However, something must've been different when they first arrived here since they've been accepted.

But despite it all, I wanted for Sisay to say she hates the ones who destroyed her life and brought her here. I wanted her to stay alive no matter what she had to do for it. For if she dies in this moment, there is no way I'll be able to save her.

'Even if you don't hate them, lie! Please Sisay!' I prayed, but somehow I knew…from the very first time she took my hand when I arrived with Sasuke's car, and even after she gave me tea in her house and got all worried because I was different and wanted to become part of the army, I knew because she wasn't worried something will happen to her, she was worried that this is unheard of and that something bad might happen to me. Even now, on the verge of death, she protected me instead of her. So I knew, just like I know now…there's no hate in her heart. Not even one…bit.

"No. I don't hate anybody. I don't want anybody to get hurt. And I don't hate, not even you. Though I really wish you'd let my Naruto live and go back to our King."

Her words once again, held no pain but my whole being felt it for if she realized the trap she felt into, she ignored it, maybe because of having the wish to die, or the wish to rescue me, no matter what made her say the truth, it was the first time I ever hated the truth, and the first time I wished somebody would just lie instead.

"You don't feel any hate? You don't want revenge? Not even if I kill your precious Naruto before your very eyes? Not even if I want to kill the King who rescued you?"  
>Silence fell upon and stood still too much.<p>

And then, what covered my eyes fell to the ground. This time, because someone took it off and that was a man, the only man which I assumed was his soldier, or commandant of the army because he was the only one left in the huge room, besides me, Sisay and a man who stood on a chair that looked pretty much as a throne.

But my eyes had troubles adjusting with just seeing, after being kept in the dark for so long even though the room wasn't in particular, bright, quite the opposite.

I had no idea why they choose to restore my sight, but my dilemma was soon cleared up when I couldn't take my eyes off Sisay who has been indeed sitting on a chair before the throne, but I wasn't looking at the throne, I could only see Sisay as she fell from the seat and knelt on the floor, on her own, without nothing tied at her hands or legs, not even eyes, without being forced by anybody, she just fell. And only one second later I realized she's in pain, as a scream echoed all around and killed me inside.

She struggles on the ground, left and right, as if she's suffocating, she even hits herself, scratching her chocolate skin with her nails and tears fall from her cat-like eyes as she rolls on the floor and screams in pain.

"Stop! Don't do it! Don't hurt her! Please!"  
>I begged the one from the throne but I didn't look at him at all, I couldn't look away from Sisay even if I wanted to, my eyes couldn't look away as if forced and stuck on her. I tried to get up, I sent the sings for my feet to get up but my body didn't respond to me, instead, it did just the opposite. It stood still as my eyes watched and cried in the same time, my vision not even being blurred by the sea of tears.<p>

Minutes later, the screams stopped and I was allowed to feel relief, I was allowed to close my eyes, allowed to get up and I did. Only to fall besides her body, this time willingly to realize why she's not screaming anymore.

Her eyes are watching the ceiling as if watching the blue sky of Africa. Her chocolate skin got even darker as if becoming one with the earth and I could tell she's not breathing the air of this world anymore.

I was wordless.

And mad.

Tears fell as I got up and looked with all the hate I've been capable of in my entire life at the man I knew it was responsible for this. And even for my feelings as for, he let me feel relief because she died, he let me close my eyes while she kept hers open but without seeing, forever, he allowed me to walk when she'll never walk again. Tears barely dried on her cheeks while mine disappeared out of anger and too much pain to let out. He let my body free while she's forever free of her body, only a soul now. A wondering soul.

"Why! You …why! She did nothing wrong!" This time, my voice echoed and my tears stopped, they still burned the back of my eyes.

"That was the problem with her. She did nothing wrong, nor did she wanted to ever do something wrong." His voice is so calm, it drives me insane.

But just when I could see his whole face in the darkness he's surrounded into, the expression of anger from my face evaporated immediately, not completely of course, to be replaced with curiosity or plain surprise which left me breathless.

When his dark hair that framed his face shone even in the darkness because of his porcelain skin, just as his black eyes hold lights enlightened by a feeling I couldn't define but something evil, just as his lips rested one upon another in a straight line…in my mind, the ripped photo of the 'Uchiha clan' book popped into my mind, the last page of it, the half ripped photo was completed for I felt he is exactly the one who stood smiling a smile he never smiled again in that photo beside…Sasuke.

To be continued…

**AN2: **Ta da! How do you like the first chapter after all the 'past thingy' though the next one is even more interesting, in my opinion at least, I want to hear your opinion on this one! And if you guys are nice enough to tell me something, I will post the next chapter on Christmas, as a gift! What do you guys say?

PS: Hope nobody hates me for having Sisay…well…you know. Sorry, but it was inevitable. See you next time. Happy Christmas!


	26. Chapter 26:The kiss of death

**AN1: **I will be going to my relatives tonight so there's no way I will be able to send this chapter tomorrow since there's no computer there but anyway, I hope you all enjoy your Christmas gift from me (though it's not a happy one, it's from me so hey...you should've get used to it by now).

Read on:

**From the previous (last) chapter:**

_Her eyes are watching the ceiling as if watching the blue sky of Africa. Her chocolate skin got even darker as if becoming one with the earth and I could tell she's not breathing the air of this world anymore._

_I was wordless._

_And mad._

_Tears fell as I got up and looked with all the hate I've been capable of in my entire life at the man I knew it was responsible for this. And even for my feelings as for, he let me feel relief because she died, he let me close my eyes while she kept her open without seeing, forever, he allowed me to walk when she'll never walk again. Tears barely dried on her cheeks which mine disappeared out of anger and too much pain to let out. He let my body free while she's forever free of her body, only a soul now. A wondering soul._

"_Why! You …why! She did nothing wrong!" This time, my voice echoed and my tears stopped, they still burned the back of my eyes._

"_That was the problem with her. She did nothing wrong nor did she wanted to ever do something wrong." His voice is so calm it drives me insane. _

_But just when I could see his whole face in the darkness he's surrounded into, the expression of anger from my face evaporated immediately, not completely of course, to be replaced with curiosity or plain surprise which left me breathless. _

_When his dark hair that framed his face shone even in the darkness because of his porcelain skin, just as his black eyes hold lights enlightened by a feeling I couldn't define but something evil, just as his lips rested one upon another in a straight line…in my mind, the ripped photo of the 'Uchiha clan' book popped into my mind, the last page of it, the half ripped photo was completed for I felt he is exactly the one who stood smiling a smile he never smiled again in that photo beside…Sasuke._

**The actual (new) chapter:**

In my entire despair, I had the strength to close her eyes and touch her forehead with mine and prayed for her arrival in heaven, for it was well deserved.

'They'd be insane not to let you in, and recognize you as a freaking saint.'

Chapter 26: The kiss of death

This thought, and the fact that this will be the last time I'll be able to touch her as a warm body for the color drained quickly and even the warmth seemed to evaporate beneath me, allowed my tears to fall upon her beautiful face.

"I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to save you." I whispered to her, and even closed her mouth which stood as if in a small cry of pain which was stopped just when it was about to get out or just about to say something. I even wiped away the tear which was yet to fall from her right eye.

And I gave myself only two more seconds to mourn her loss, and my incompetence.

Then, I got up and looked ahead at the 'King' who looked my way with a different expression as if he didn't understood something, but I didn't care about his dilemma.

One step, two steps, and then three in front of me, left her corpse behind me, going ahead to the one who killed her.

My eyes held no tears, my soul held no pain, and my solution felt as clear as crystal water.

My senses were so sharp that I even caught the moment when he shifted a bit on his throne.

I felt the pain attacking me as I got closer and closer to him but it wasn't as intense as before and though a red flag rose in my mind, when I realized that his spell maybe isn't working anymore, I continued going without any thought in mind and without any emotion other than the love I held for the woman who died in front of my very eyes.

Love as a friend, love as a lover, and love as just a person who watched someone so pure leaving this world in front of its eyes just because the world was too filthy for her.

His eye twitched, just almost, in front of me. There were five steps and then I'll be facing him.

At the first step, I felt my muscles growing weak, so weak that I had to ignore them and just walk without acknowledging them, but I was able to do just that.

At the second step, my bones felt like cracking but there was no sound, it was just their pain, it was the pain I felt but there was no real damage, so I walked.

At the third step, I felt like suffocating, but I ignored it with all my might and continued to breathe despite the fact that I knew I felt like I was suffocating, but my chest still rose and fell, like I was still breathing.

At the fourth step, I felt like I was having a heart attack, like my organ was ripped out of my chest slowly but surely; however, there was nothing touching me there, nothing wrong, just the feeling of it.

And at the last step, her face assaulted me, for I saw it in front of my very eyes, her smell assaulted my nose, her touch assaulted my skin, her voice assaulted my ears, and my love for her assaulted my entire being as if she was right beside me, but my whole being screamed that she's gone and that only meant he wanted me to break down and cry in front of him, only to have my head cut off.

But I closed my eyes, inhaled the dirty air with no smell, let go of any feeling my body could have, shook my head a little to prove myself that there's no sound other than the silence and my own breathing, and I accepted my love as it is, and as it will always be, and in the name of the love I felt, I stretched my arm as I was one millimeter away from grabbing his neck.

"Don't! Don't do it! You'll die if you touch him!"

Ryuu's voice and even Cloud's voice echoed all around and in instinct, I turned around to look at where they are and indeed, they were at the door, running to me, to us, and so… I forgot about my stretched hand and in the next second, I felt his cold hand on mine.

My world was crushing down as if life itself was drained from my body, and this time I knew… it wasn't just a feeling.

I watched with blurry eyes as he even kissed the palm of my hand as he held it with both of his hands with a smirk on his lips, as if devouring me.

'Just like Sasuke's smirk.' I thought, in the back of my mind.

His eyes got wide, and their black met my blue.

'Just like Sasuke's eyes.'

He caressed my hand further, making me numb but somehow, I felt it through my blood.

'Just like Sasuke's touch.'

He pushed me.

And I fell in all my pain and in all my shame, on those stairs to the ground and soon enough, I realized Ryuu and Cloud are above me, checking me for any possible injury.

Cloud's voice echoed: "He's stronger than you are, than we are, you're not able to kill him. Let him live!"

The pain was gone, a pain so deep that it was like there was nothing grater or above it, and even though I was wide eyed to see the man who hurt me with his kiss, who gave death through his kiss on the palm of my hand, in my mind, I could see my mother and my father, I could see my childhood and I could feel, the loneliness of it and the hurt, but then, the love I held for them was my weapon for I felt it was wrong, felt that his idea of my childhood was formed only from pain was wrong, I responded to him by saying: I loved them too.

In the same time, he let go of me, in the same time I was sure he hears my thoughts and was assaulted by them which told him that his brother and him are very much alike.

He got up from the throne which might've been a surprise because Ryuu's hands shivered on me a little. Though now that I was far enough from him, or at least, proved I can beat him, I felt no pain and nothing crawling at my skin, I was in control of myself and that never felt better.

And I could tell he had no control of Ryuu or Cloud at how they acted, at least, Cloud was standing so that should be a good sign.

"Why should I let him live?!" Their 'King' said. His voice was still echoing but not inside of me this time.

"Because you want someone who's strong, someone who's byword simple hate, that's what you've been looking for, and now you've found it."  
>Cloud's words proved both me and Ryuu that Cloud is more than a simple soldier. Ryuu's expression proved he's as surprised as I am at the simple idea which passed through both our minds in the same time.<p>

For…'Cloud's advising him.'

Ryuu's expression said it all. He didn't know what was happening either.

For Cloud was standing, unafraid, in front of his 'King', with an expression that made him look like they're friends or at least, close, like they talked for a million times before. The impact it had on Ryuu… I wasn't even capable to realize how this can hurt and does hurt him now. I was sure I wasn't even near his despair. I just knew it hurt him more, one thousand times more than me. And I was also feeling hurt because of it.

Don't get me wrong, none of them were smiling but just the tone they used …a tone one uses with a familiar person.

"And what do you suggest, Cloud? Let him sleep beside me so I will be sure he won't form a rebellion against me? Let him kill me in my sleep with his own hands? Or let him go back to my brother so he can tell him we look alike?"

Cloud was silenced by three mere sentences, but I was back, in full force.

'They are talking about my life here. And I won't let anybody else fight for it anymore, but myself.'

As this thought crept its way into my very core, I caught a glimpse of Sisay's body which stood still on the cold floor. The commander, or soldier, or whatever that man was, left for I couldn't see him anymore but he was the last in my worries now.

So I got up, ignored Ryuu's plea by staying on the ground, faking death.

I straightened up, rose my head, and even though he's high and mighty on his throne, I feel above him. And he knows it.

"We make a deal."  
>His eyebrow rose immediately at my voice which now echoed all around me for I've just been on the verge of death and now I stand like I am the winner already.<p>

I took his gesture as a sign to continue and I immediately started to talk again, forcing everybody to remain quiet until I finish what I have to say.

"You let me take Sisay back to her house and bury her, in your brother's side of this hell. You let me take what I have there and make sure your brother won't come here to take me or Sisay back. And you let Ryuu and Cloud alive on the other side, not here, let them alone for the rest of their lives and in return, I'll stay here with you and do whatever you want me to do, won't threaten your life in any way, but I won't take your brother's life either, however, you have the strongest soldier and I'll be all yours in exchange of this deal."

I knew I was forcing my poor note in the moment I thought about it. For I wasn't the greatest soldier alive. I was just immune to his 'superpowers' or more like 'evil powers'. But I had to fake it and make myself sound grand to save the lives of the duo for I wasn't prepared to lose another human being any time soon. I wasn't prepared to tell Sasuke goodbye, I really wanted to just see him one more time, and just embrace him until he'll say I'm suffocating him, but I had to do it. To keep the duo safe, to keep myself safe and sane.

I realized that he might know I'm not such a threat since he can put his men to kill me and I can't win against an army, I can't only win against him, but still, something made me think I'll be useful to him. Maybe it was just an idea, maybe it was his idea.

But all I knew is that I had to sacrifice myself, I had to do my best because I just couldn't stand and watch somebody die in front of me… again.

'And if this is the price I have to pay, then I'll freaking pay it.'  
>"You tell me I have to trust your word for going back and then coming back here without an army or without plotting anything?"<p>

He was amused by my words, but I wasn't.

"Yes. If you look in me, and I know you can. You know you can trust my word, you know I will do exactly as I said. You know it already."  
>'I don't know if I have any blue blood in me, but I start to sound like Sasuke.' Inside, I smiled for I was surer of this more than anything for this is what is inside me and it was absolute, he couldn't doubt me. But still, he did.<p>

I felt his 'thing' invading me. I felt it taking a firm hold of my body and then of my mind, and soul. Searching for doubt, for hidden plans and all he could find, and I was sure that is what made him smirk. My need to embrace or kiss his brother. However, he knew I'll leave him after, he knew I'll do that for him, to keep him safe, to keep everybody safe. He didn't care weather I slept with him before I come back, he just cared to come back without interfering with his deals.

And somehow, I started to understand him, to feel him too for this is how much he used his power on me. How immune I was to his imaginary pain, I was so byword it that I started to feel his thoughts about my feelings too. I felt them, didn't hear them though, it was clear, so clear it scared me but it was to my advantage after all.

And the tension which took a strong hold of my body, mind and soul suddenly let go of me, disappeared into thin air. Though I was wondering if he knew I was seeing what he wanted to see from me. But in the moment I looked at him, I knew he knew. And maybe I was the only one who ever did that, which could do that, the only exception.

"I agree."  
>His words brought surprise to the duo's faces. They seemed to think it's a joke, or a miracle.<p>

I didn't know much about the guy but looking at him, as he tried to hide his almost invisible smirk, while I was so used to see even if hidden…I was the only one who sees them, because this is the way Sasuke smirks too, is just so familiar to me. Sasuke was seen as a cold bastard when I arrived, but he slowly changed bit by bit. He's the devil but he has a soft side too.

But I know nobody else but me realizes how amused the man in front of me is.

While I feel no fear, no pain and no doubt.

All that I'm afraid of is the moment when I'll have to walk out of Sasuke's door, out of Sasuke's kingdom, and out of Sasuke's heart.

And this has nothing to do with this 'King'.

Cloud and his 'King', and almost officially, my 'King' too, shared a glance that was full of meaning. And I was yet to find out what it meant.

The next thing I knew is that the King mysteriously disappeared from my view, even from my insides. I was free of his control and so looked the rest of my companions.

They gave me clothes and they gave me clothes for Sisay too. Though it was a torture to dress her up in that state. I did it without any spilled tear which to be sincere… still threatened to get out every time I looked at her.

And as I walked through dark hallways with the duo by my side, Ryuu at my right and Cloud at my left and with Sisay in my arms, we got outside of what must be a huge castle which is filled with men and women who just reek of alcohol, hate and death.

I ignored the fact that I'll come back to this place and I'll have to face each and every one of them and their smell will linger on me too for probably, the rest of my life.

I ignored it and walked outside though I realized that the 'King's' orders are absolute, for nobody hurt us, nobody attacked us, nobody even talked, they just let us pass and sent a glare here and there. And though I could tell there was no good person in there, even with all that hate and death in them, they did just what their 'King' told them.

That was the only good thing I could find in the whole damned place.

A car awaited, almost covered whole in white snow. For it was snowing and it was so cold I thought I'll freeze on our way back. But in the car, it was nice and warm and the man, who drove, didn't bother us one bit, didn't even spare us a glance all the way to Sasuke's kingdom, as if he's in his car, all alone.

Though, I must admit that the hours of driving there were spent in silence, as Cloud kept Ryuu warm. Embracing him, kissing him as if already missing him, while I spent those hours staring at Sisay's dead body, caressing her cold skin, and when the sun covered the car and melted the snow away, I talked to her in the silence of the car, and I knew they all can hear me loud and clear, but I didn't care one bit:  
>"We're home, Sisay."<p>

We took the heavy clothes off and Ryuu and Cloud were so surprised by the warmth of the sand, the warmth of the place, so different from where we just came from and I just knew I'll miss it all, for I won't be coming back any time soon.

When I barely spotted the two huge gates ahead, the car stopped and the driver spoke for the first time and also, for the last time:

"I can't drive you there because they'll shot. You go there because they know you. I'll wait here, and then drive you back."  
>It was pretty simple but I was a bit alarmed by thinking that they will shoot Cloud or Ryuu. Though, none of that happened. They both raised their hands as in: we're not hurting anybody. And it worked.<p>

There were only two guards which meant something was wrong somewhere, which worked to my advantage. I really didn't want anybody knowing about us but the guards were inevitable in our situation. But I still explained that these two will be ordinary citizens and won't hurt a fly, but they don't have to tell the King about them, or about me, or about Sisay, though I had to lie that she's feeling ill not that's not breathing in my arms.

They promised.

I knew the streets that were barely visited by the other citizens; if they knew about them, I never saw anybody walking on them, besides an old man whom I only saw once, when I visited Sisay at 4 AM, and he waved his hand at me, as if I'm his neighbor and even in that early hour, it made me smile, and now, it made me cry for I knew I will never walk on this path again.

"You'll get food delivered when they see someone lives here, just like Sisay, or maybe they'll think Sisay is back but anyway…and Sas…a…the King will be the only one who doesn't have to know about your existence while everybody will learn that you're good people. Make a good impression so they don't call the King to check. Try and get out as less as you can and when there are people gathering, or walking towards something it means they're going to the gates to receive new citizens the King will bring, don't go there, ever!"

I explained, on our way to Sisay's abandoned house and when we got inside her house, I still explained without stopping.

"This is your new house and if you see somebody that looks alike your 'King', has black hair, black eyes and most of the times, dressed in black, pale skin and …handsome, ignore him. Don't let him in. Don't even breathe when he's anywhere near you."  
>Cloud smiled at 'handsome' but I was desperate, I was freaking out and I felt like crying the whole time.<p>

But I knew I had to be strong.

I told them all about Sisay's house, what was where because I knew everything about the way Sisay lived which only made me remember her, each conversation we had, every night we didn't sleep because we were playing cards and drinking nice scented tea.

We took all the shovels we could find but there was only one which was big enough, the rest of them were too small, so I even borrowed some from people I knew they won't ask why and how, and won't tell anything to anybody as we dug a hole, stole a coffin, though I left the money on the counter for the man who made them and when the night approached, we were done.

I dressed Sisay for the second time that day, but with her favorite dress, after I washed her, after I combed her hair, even put her favorite caramel lipstick on her lips, and in the end, the white laced dressed fit her perfectly with the white heels that suited her best.

I cried.

As I put her in the coffin and as I said all the prays that I knew, and as Ryuu said his too, and then Cloud recited a whole book of prayers and we both looked odd at him in the middle of it all, with tears in our eyes, only to have him saying:  
>"What? I had to learn them. My mother was a religious person. "<p>

We both looked at each other, both thinking: Nobody could tell at how much he curses.  
>I cried as I threw earth in the hole she'll forever rest into.<p>

I cried as I knelled in front of the hole and had both Cloud and Ryuu to console me.

I cried as they took me in her house that still smelled like all the flowers of the world in one room, and cried again when I sat myself on the couch we usually talked onto.

I cried until I had no tears left.

And I continued to cry without tears as I let the duo in her house, said goodbye and left to go to Sasuke.

To finish what I promised I'll do.

I got lost, twice. In the woods, 'cause I usually got there by car and the road was simpler that way, but I was so tired and filled with pain, starving and the sun was one millimeter away from disappearing just after I almost froze too many hours ago, here, it was too much heat. And I was about to faint when I arrived in front of the underground house.

But the door opened in front of me to reveal a man which changed my life. A man who drove me crazy. A man who buried the one he loved in front of me and then let himself wide open in front of me, a stranger. And now, that I buried someone I loved too, I felt that I understood him too well.

I felt the need to touch him, to embrace him, to kiss him, to have him pin me to the ground and never let me go but instead, I said:  
>"Hey."<br>His eyes looked tired, his body lost weight and my heart broke at the sight of a man which must've been worried to death about me.

_**'She suddenly stopped while I was still trying to stop my mind from thinking at anything else, and with blind eyes I watched her as she rose up a little bit, and with a black hand, she grabbed my manhood to put it straight, so it can enter in her._

_*' "Fuck!" '*_

_"Fuck!"**'_

'Shit.' I thought as blame hit me straight on. Like he slapped me but the only thing he did was to stare at me but I avoided his gaze for the memory replaced anything I felt before.

For I felt I was unworthy of his worry…

So I passed him by, and walked down the stairs. And I could hear, in the silence of the room, the door closing and then the key locking the door up, and then his hurried steps down the stairs after me. And halfway my road to the room, while looking around passively at the bottles of wine that were all around the once cleaned up room, and there was also no sign that Tamiko still lived with us…no, with him. I was stopped in my tracks by his grip on my arm that turned me around in the instant he touched me and I had no time to speak or breathe as my lips were covered with his.

I tried to push him, to refuse his embrace and kiss but he kept me there, he kissed me and I kissed him back because the truth is that I wanted his kiss him, but I felt that I didn't deserve it. I didn't come to do this. It was a mistake.

But even though he lost weight, he was as strong as ever or maybe, even stronger as he forced me to walk the remaining steps which took me to the bedroom, threw me on the bed and pinned me there, leaving me without any will left to fight him.

His tears were warm against my skin as he kissed every part of me, bit and licked. And I wiped every tear that left my eyes but I was sure he didn't see them in the darkness of the room, though I still made sure the tears didn't touch him.

I was sure that even without my approval, he would've made love to me in that moment if only this wouldn't have been our first time together, and I was sure he didn't want it to be this way. And that's why he stopped halfway.

And I just had to take advantage of the second he stopped to refuse him, and tell him I don't want him. Tell him I don't need him. Tell him I don't love him. And wish that he'll believe me, and in the same time, hope he doesn't.

I am in a war with myself, in a conflict between his well and my selfish love...

'Cause as he cried into the crack of my shoulder, above me...

And as I cried with him…

I was sure I love him.

And that meant I had to make sure he's safe.

I had to make sure I make no mistake to show him where I'm going.

I had to make sure I leave no trace for him to follow.

I had to make sure he hates me.

I had to make sure …I won't lose him too.

"Get off me!" I yelled, and pushed. I wiped my tears as he stood in front of me and off the bed, with endless black eyes filled with infinite pain.

"I didn't come here to stay, I'm here to leave." My words were filled with anger. But despite how it sounded, I only hated myself, I only yelled at myself, reminded myself that staying will kill us both.

"What are you saying, Naruto?"

My name coming from his lips had me silenced a too long second, but I tried and continued the show without facing his eyes.

"I'm saying I choose Sisay over you, and I will live with her from now on."  
>I assured myself he won't step into Sisay's house ever again.<p>

"What?"  
>"You heard that well, so leave me the fuck alone! Never search for me, never say my name again. Got it!?"<br>This is as fake as I can get, but at how drunk he must be, how tired he must be, he doesn't even realize this is not me talking. And even though it hurts me, his horrible state, protects him…from the truth.

"So, now you're bi or something?"  
>"I'm not bi, I'm not…"<br>"You choose already, you chose me. When you first arrived, you choose me over Sisay!"  
>"I didn't choose anything, it just happened."<p>

"It just happened!? We…" he pointed at me and at him and then continued "We, just happened?"

"It's not like that! Why do you have to act like this?"  
>"Act like what?! I thought we had something, we connected, we… happened!"<br>"What's wrong with you?!"

"What's wrong with me?" He ironically inquired pointing at himself, "Tell you what, so you two just 'happened' "he underlined the words, still ironic, "so what if we happen to just fuck here, right now!"

He covered me with his whole body, biting my neck, forcing me to stay still. Making bruises all over he touches, and it hurt, for it's just like…rape.

"Stop it! Stop!"

I screamed and pushed him but he'd just come back and start again, continue where he left of. And ten seconds later, I had no power left to push him and when I tried, he's immovable, firm on his ground and I feel so weak and … well punished.

'Rape me; rape me so it won't hurt so much for I'll leave an asshole behind. Rape me so I will be able to forgive myself for cheating you. Rape me so I'll stop loving you…'

But he didn't and at the end of my thoughts, inside, I knew that even if he rapes me, I'll never stop loving him. And that hurt me more than anything.

That gave me the courage to get up and take the first bag I see and fill it with clothes. Gave me the courage to take the book of the 'Uchiha clan' from his own bookcase, and gave me the courage to run when I saw him getting out the bedroom to see what I'm doing.

Loving him gave me the courage to stir the key from the exit door he forgot there and also take the key with me since I knew he had a spare one, and it gave me the courage to run with all my might without looking back though I saw him standing in the doorway looking …dead.

Just my luck that it was night. The darkness covered everything but I knew just the path that led me to the gates. I knew that the soldiers knew to open the gates when they caught a glimpse of a man running in the darkness, just like I told them, and I knew that when they indeed closed the gates behind me, they stopped their King from running after me.

And when I arrived at the driver who's supposed to take me back, I was ignoring the fact that the tears never stopped while I ran and thought that today felt unreal, felt like a nightmare and I just wanted to wake up, and look at my left to see Sasuke sleeping.

And in my exhaustion, and in my wish for it to be just a dream, I fell asleep with tears in my eyes on my way back to the 'other side' to the 'ice side', or just to his brother's side.

But when I woke up, it was to feel too cold, and to fell the silent driver moving my shoulder to wake me up. I was right in my thoughts… that he will never talk if not absolutely necessary.

By now, I was sure that what happened today wasn't just a mere nightmare.

I had to meet the pain and the memory that will never disappear as long as I live.

Sasuke's hurt expression, ravished hair, and cried eyes at the door of the underground house as I ran away.

And I also ran in the castle which welcomed me with its coldness, with its devils lurking in its shadows and with Sasuke's brother which waited for my arrival and who knew, that in the moment when I looked at him, I saw Sasuke in his place.

And that was the only reason why; I kneeled in front of him.

To be continued…

**AN2: **Well, Happy Christmas to all my readers! Thank you for reading me, it's a pleasure for me to write and find out you like what I write so it's really a Happy Christmas to me too. Hope you all have a great holiday, be healthy and happy. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

See you next Sunday.

**Answering Reviews: **

**Cassy: **Of course I forgive you! But you don't need to apologize! This holiday is pretty crazy at me too but I just can't let my readers down… I take any free second I get to write, to post, and do whatever there is to do. I don't know what shadow you've thought about when you wrote the review, I pretty much know there are a lot of things going on and will go on in the future, it will turn out…pretty ugly :D hope you'll like it nonetheless. Well, I am glad you don't but it seems many of them didn't like it, though I will use one or two from now on, it's inevitable, you'll see why.

And well, don't worry if you're yet to have a theory, I know some ideas are introduced about the reality of things but it's not yet concrete (I underline yet) so…this is my Christmas Gift? What do you say? I think it's crazy and the next one is crazier but hey, no more hints, I am already giving you a lot of suspense, no? Well, thank you very much, you just keep me writing and it makes my holidays happier to know you'll read and like it. Then again, A Happy Christmas to you!


	27. Chapter 27:No shame

**AN1: **Well I know everybody is now busy with the new year coming, even I am…though, I still find the time to wish you a Happy New year! …From now since last Sunday will be too late…So, the holidays make us happier and my story only gets sadder but I still hope you all enjoy it and though I forgive you all for not telling me your opinion for the last chapters since you all been busy, I hope you catch up and tell me a piece of your mind (I am not asking for being praised, just worried:D ) But hey, nothing can stop me from writing! Haha (the stress got me).

Oh, and this chapter is beta'd by the amazing beta: konakisen (working even on holidays! Come on, that's something!)

So, enough of my rambling, on with the reading:

**From the previous (last) chapter:**

"_What's wrong with me?" He ironically inquired pointing at himself, "Tell you what, so you two just 'happened' "he underlined the words, still ironic, "so what if we happened to just fuck here, right now!"_

_He covered me with his whole body, biting my neck, forcing me to stay still. Making bruises all over he touches, and it hurt, for it's just like…rape._

"_Stop it! Stop!"_

_I screamed and pushed him but he'd just come back and start again, continue where he left of. And ten seconds later, I had no power left to push him and when I tried, he's immovable, firm on his ground and I feel so weak and … well punished._

'_Rape me; rape me so it won't hurt so much for I'll leave an asshole behind. Rape me so I will be able to forgive myself for cheating you. Rape me so I'll stop loving you…'_

_But he didn't and at the end of my thoughts, inside, I knew that even if he rapes me, I'll never stop loving him. And that hurt me more than anything._

_That gave me the courage to get up and take the first bag I see and fill it with clothes. Gave me the courage to take the book of the 'Uchiha clan' from his own bookcase, and gave me the courage to run when I saw him getting out the bedroom to see what I'm doing._

_Loving him gave me the courage to stir the key from the exit door he forgot there and also take the key with me since I knew he had a spare one, and it gave me the courage to run with all my might without looking back though I saw him standing in the doorway looking …dead._

_Just my luck that it was night. The darkness covered everything but I knew just the path that led me to the gates. I knew that the soldiers knew to open the gates when they caught a glimpse of a man running in the darkness, just like I told them, and I knew that when they indeed closed the gates behind me, they stopped their King from running after me._

_And when I arrived at the driver who's supposed to take me back, I was ignoring the fact that the tears never stopped while I ran and thought that today felt unreal, felt like a nightmare and I just wanted to wake up, and look at my left to see Sasuke sleeping._

_And in my exhaustion, and in my wish for it to be just a dream, I fell asleep with tears in my eyes on my way back to the 'other side' to the 'ice side', or just to his brother's side._

_But when I woke up, it was to feel too cold, and to feel the silent driver moving my shoulder to wake me up. I was right in my thoughts… that he will never talk if not absolutely necessary._

_By now, I was sure that what happened today wasn't just a mere nightmare._

_I had to meet the pain and the memory that will never disappear as long as I live._

_Sasuke's hurt expression, ravished hair, and crying eyes at the door of the underground house as I ran away._

_And I also ran in the castle which welcomed me with its coldness, with its devils lurking in its shadows and with Sasuke's brother who waited for my arrival and who knew, that in the moment when I looked at him, I saw Sasuke in his place._

_And that was the only reason why; I kneeled in front of him._

**The actual (new) chapter:**

The cold night air crawled from beneath the huge metal doors like black smoke. Sending shivers up my spine like spiders walking on my back. And as I stood on my knees, on the grey dirty sandstone, his power gently entered me, searched in me and made me see his brother once again, made me live what I just thought had ended and while he saw it all, making me see it again, I spotted his outstretched hand, helping me to get up off the floor.

Chapter 27: No shame

We walked, like old men on dark hallways, barely lit by candles on the wall, but I appreciated his hand in my hand, his hand on my waist, guiding me, and reassuring me I am not alone. Though, I didn't think about the fact that maybe I am receiving special treatment, but after all, I didn't think of anything.

I only let the warmth of his body radiate against mine, his strength to compensate with my weakness, and I've even thought of him as being Sasuke, for I didn't want to realize the loss I felt, the emptiness, the guilt and the pain.

When we stopped walking, it was for him to open a door, this time made of wood, and though I barely registered the fact that we're in a different place from the previous one, a special place from the castle and I was proven right when the huge wooden doors led us to an enormous room, clean and well kept.

One could've called it cozy since the fireplace made it all look comfortable; with the big and old furniture, then the huge bed only added as a plus. But I had little time to observe it all. For I was invited in his personal bathroom with no words, but I felt so drunk, so easy to manipulate that I had no power against whatever he wanted to do with me.

The huge bathroom and its steaming pool, not bathtub, should've given me an idea but in that moment, it didn't.

His power made me feel on cloud nine, so high above the ground that I felt no pain, no discomfort but I had no brains either, not even one thought passed through my mind. Therefore, things were just happening, but I did nothing, I only watched as they happened.

And I knew, when the feeling first took control of me, that I could stop it, that I have some influence if that power wants to control me but this time, his power gave me comfort, not pain and that was the reason why I didn't want for him to stop.

After all, I had nothing left to lose.

I made my part of the deal, I came back to his castle and now he is my King. And I have to do whatever he wants, even if that means to let him give me pain or...pleasure.

So I watched with half lidded eyes.

He took my coat and threw it on the floor, my blouses, then my boots and my jeans, and soon enough, I was completely naked in front of my new King.

He took my hand once again and led me to what's supposed to be a bathtub. The warm water forced me to close my eyes, or maybe it was still his power which made me feel so comfortable in it. And after more than I can estimate, I watched as he washed me up.

From head to toe, as if a ritual was happening, one I knew nothing about. He washed me like he wanted to rip off my skin, wanted to rip the sunrise off my skin, the sand and every part his brother touched were cleaned rougher than the rest of my parts.

With my head against the wall, with messy half wet blond hair, I watched down at the man who cleans my foot with a rug. And though I am naked, I feel no shame.

Instead, I wait for I feel it in my very core. I long for his touch, I long for more comfort and he refuses to give it to me since I am not purified yet. He feels the pure influence his brother had on me. He feels it and it disgusts him.

I look down with emotionless eyes, in his black eyes and he looks up at me with an expression which made our positions to not matter. For I am looking so high and mighty but even if he looks from down there, he still feels like he's above me.

But it doesn't bother me.

And gently, with his right hand, he moves the rug soaked in warm water from the toes of my left leg to my thigh to my already erected member. But when he touched it, grabbed it, it's like he gave me a blowjob all along for I feel an orgasm approaching and I know it's the doing of his power. It can increase even the smallest pain, one you never even knew you had but your body knows it and even the smallest pleasure.

And in my haze, I still knew he just touched it, he just held his hand there, nothing more but just the thought of him touching me, or his brother had my member as hard as stone. And when he indeed touched me… I had an orgasm.

I thought I was about to cry when the white liquid spilled on his wet hand.

But still, I wasn't embarrassed.

I was sad.

Just sad.

He washed me up again; he gave me clean clothes and covered me with his own blankets in his own bed. The room was filed with darkness, the only light came from the moon, when he also put himself beside me and in all my loneliness; I allowed myself to rest my head on his naked chest.

I should've felt surprised though I didn't have the courage to check if he had any pants on. But I really didn't care after all. It was what it was. For I am what I am, now. And what I am, and who I am, now … it's all… his.

I closed my eyes.

"My King! Please! My King!"

The voice of a woman woke me up but I was yet to lift my eyelids when I felt something underneath me moving and then leaving me with my head in the air, to fall on the pillow that was once occupied. So, I looked ahead at a window which portrayed a forest, covered in snow. Wide eyed, I stood there, not believing any of it. I even closed my eyelids back, waiting to wake up again.

"I am awake!"

The sound of a door being opened…I ignored it.

The quiet conversation given between a man and a woman…I ignored it.

The sound of the door being closed rather hard…I ignored it.

Then, the sounds of footsteps against a wooden floor…I ignored it.

And then, the feeling of someone's hand against my shoulder, my neck…I ignored it.

His breath against my left ear…I…tried…but…

"This is real."

I couldn't ignore it.

In that second, I snapped my eyes open and in the same time roughly forced myself out of his hold but he was already above me, pinning my writs with only one of his hands. I moved my head right and left on his pillow, refusing, denying anything and everything.

"Stop, you spoiled child!"

Like I have a crisis, and indeed, it felt like I had one. I moved from left to right while being held down by his whole body and his hands holding my wrists. And I even felt his power trying to invade me but I was so freaked out that there was no way I was letting him to calm me down.

"Humph." The unconscious sound I made when he slapped me. Only one time, on my right cheek but it was enough to leave my cheek red and to silence my mouth and my body.

"Look at me." He ordered me, when I let my whole head to face the right way, with blond ravished hairs in my blue eyes.

"Look!" He said again but this time, he grabbed my chin with the same hand he slapped me for me to look into his eyes.

"We might look alike and we might both have a weakness when it comes to you, but that doesn't mean I will treat you like a god damn Prince like he did, so stop acting like a child!"  
>His words brought tears to my eyes. Not because I was scared of him, but because I was back to reality, back to a place I knew nothing about and I just didn't want to face any of it yet. I didn't want anything else but to dream that the chest I slept onto is Sasuke's chest. Wanted to forget what happened yesterday in the bathroom, that shameful act, the pleasure I felt when I should've felt pain for pain was all that I inflicted lately.<p>

Killed a woman, abandoned a man, put two friends on a foreign land with the possibility of being killed in any moment, discovered and annihilated while I already knew there's no way they'll say where I am and also no way that my 'last' King will ever rest, not until he finds me.

I know that now.

I realize that now.

And my new King knew it from the start.

And he also knows I can't do anything about it now.

And even though I'd rather die than admit my tears are tears of shame, for I want him to drive me numb again.

To set me on autopilot, let me roam all over the place without feeling anything, barely seeing anything, and having no opinion at all.

And though I might never admit it, not even after death, the pleasure I felt last night wasn't from this earth. I wanted it, again and again.

Tears continued to fall as he tried to calm me down, or more like, listen to him. He saw it, or felt it, the need I had for him to control me though I didn't want to believe it myself, the desire for me to feel that pleasure again, to be on could nine again.

To be alive and dead in the same time.

"You want it again?" He asked me, smirking at me with well lined up straight teeth, white as the snow outside, covered by beautiful lips.

'Just like Sasuke's.'

The smirk disappeared.

"If you want it again or even better…"

My eyes lighted up at his words, tears almost stopped, ears attentive, just like an animal.

"You have to earn it."

I didn't know how to feel, I was both disappointed and relieved about the idea, or just the slight possibility that I will feel that way again.

Either way, something calmed me down.

I was suddenly feeling very comfortable on his bed and with him above me. Black hair tickled my cheek as his face got closer to mine. Smirking on my lips, I sank deeper and deeper into the soft mattress and into his now, also soft touch as he let go of my writs to caress my cheeks.

I felt him crawling even in my very core, I felt him all over me, like he's the whole universe surrounding me. And when his lips pressed against my cheek I turned immediately, wanting to meet his lips but he got up and his influence was gone and I felt the coldness of the room, the pain and guilt up my throat and when he headed towards the door…I…I was losing it.

"I will come back tonight, until then, think of the way you want to earn it." He smirked, closed the door and my ears didn't hear anything else but the key stirring in the key whole and when he took it out, he was all out of me, gone. And I was left alone, all alone.

With my head on the pillow, and my whole body tensing on the bed, I was panicking and I felt my heart pumping in my body as the lone organ I owned. For I was terrified, not of him, but of myself.

Because yesterday…it was one thing, he comforted me; I am sure of it, even now, and even then. I still blame myself only for feeling so much pleasure or just that lone act.

Anyway…but now, I want him to continue to console me, to own me like a play thing, and I am fully conscious of it, and what's worse about it is that I wish I'll be controlled right now only to forget this moment of strife, of confusion and hurt.

'He'll come back tonight…' I thought as I got up from the bed, went to the fireplace and took some already cut wood from beside it; put it inside to make a bigger fire which will provide me enough warmth.

The fireplace is big and the whole room is big enough for a whole army to fit in, and looking outside at the insane forest, it seemed like I just landed on some unknown world and I wanted to sleep and dream, dream and sleep, without ever waking up.

Looking at the table standing in the other corner of the room, I saw the plates and only when I came closer, the warm food in them. I ate the soup without stopping to breathe and the potatoes like there is no tomorrow and when I finished, I was praying to God that I will fall asleep and wake up just when he'll come back.

But when I finally let myself under the covers, in the entire warmth of the room, I felt cold. Though there's a splendid view of the forest from where I stay, and though the fireplace makes some sounds one thinks about before they fall asleep to dream peacefully but all that I can see, hear and feel when I close my eyes is Sasuke's hurt expression, Sisay's scream and the dirty pleasure I received from Sasuke's brother.

And maybe the Gods only wanted to punish me already and get it over with or really had some mercy on me, not sure which one, but I fell asleep rather quickly with a dreamless sleep, and I was woken up by the same hand which woke me up in the morning.

"Brat…"

The voice whispered as it shook my shoulder.  
>"Stop calling me that… bastard…"<p>

I whispered back in my sleep and the hand stopped moving my shoulder.

"Bastard...huh…"

"You…Sasu…ah…"

The fingers wondered underneath my blouse and pleasure tingled so sweet and so powerful that it had an immediate effect. Breathing on my neck, touching my already erected nipples and then with another hand grabbing my member, had me coming two times in not even two minutes, it was heaven but even heaven… has a price.

"You thought about a way to earn this?"

With half closed eyes, I looked into black eyes, and I consciously refused to see more for those eyes looked so alike with Sasuke's that I didn't want to let my mind and body realize it's not him. But having the full control of my body, mind and soul, he opened my eyes with his power.

I had to stare at porcelain skin on a face that was different than the one I wanted to see. Black eyes, unsatisfied lips, and long black hair had me back to reality, as gravity pulls me in its trap. For the pleasure stops, but not because I now know who is the one who gives me pleasure but because he wants to, not to mention that he let me hear the thought when he informed me that he won't let me see the face of his brother instead of his own.

For the free drug ran out, and as any good drug dealer who respects himself, I have to start paying for it.

"What…do I have to…do?"

I asked, with an unusual voice, one I don't even recognize as my own.

"First, prove your loyalty to me."  
>"How?"<p>

"Like you did for my brother."  
>"Drive his car…'<p>

I only felt it before but now, he even has control of my own words, searches through my mind and makes me say the truth even when I don't allow it.

'God…'

"No. That didn't prove anything…you're mine now, aren't you?"  
>"Hmm…"<p>

"You have to kill for me, Naruto."

"Kill?"  
>"Yeah."<p>

He breathed in my ears and made me tremble from head to toe.  
>"But I never killed anybody before… I don't want to…"<p>

"Shh…"

He licked my ear and just then I realized that my member is still in his hand, I felt it growing harder as he licked my ear and bit it.

"You will kill for me, Naruto."

Next thing I know is the pleasure which sent me to the roofs, pleasure I never felt before and pleasure, I wanted to feel for the rest of my life. I came so many times I couldn't count, there was nothing left in me but the pleasure was still making my toes curl, my mouth moan and my nails dig into his back while he did nothing more than hold my member and casually kiss my neck, earlobe or forehead when I scream too loud.

When I woke up, I felt nothing.

The room was just the same, the food was also the same and the weather didn't change at all. The only difference was that he wasn't in bed with me when I woke up.

And in the middle of the day, when I was just checking the bookcase filled with weird books, somebody knocked on the door and then opened it and I even ignored the low curse I barely registered in the back of my head, cursing myself actually for not checking the door today.

"You're prepared for your first mission?"

My mouth was half opened at the foreign sentence which was clearly directed to the only person left in the King's bedroom.

"First…what?"

I stood in the middle of the room looking dumbfounded until the woman came inside and handed me an envelope which was clearly for me, from the King.

I had to sit down as I read it again and again.

But the envelope only contained one sentence after all: 'ARATA MITZUNE'.

After seconds or maybe minutes, I finally cleared my throat and had the courage to talk:

"Who is…?"

"I will take you to him." The woman said as she handed me something carefully wrapped in clean white rugs.

"King said you are not allowed to look inside, not until you see the one who wears the name."

I was glad she said that quickly for I was just about to see what's inside, I couldn't tell from the weight or form, I just suspected it's another note.

"Fine, take me to him." I said, trying to sound sure of myself but she sure seemed to know what she's doing because she completely ignored me as she opened the huge wooden closet and handed me some black clothes.

She stood at the door as I changed into a black blouse and black pants.

'Looks like I'm dressed for a funeral.'

The mere thought which was barely even heard sent blows that spread pain from deep within, pain I hadn't understood where it came from.

'Funeral…Sisay…'

Trying to remember why the word 'funeral' hurt me took me more than changing my clothes.

Finally, I exited the comfort of the King's bedroom and followed the woman, who calmly walked through passages which looked exactly the same to me but there had to be something that differentiates them for she looked like she knows where she's going while I was sure that if she leaves me in any of the corridors, I will die.

We didn't get lost, though I felt completely lost; when she stopped walking, I also stood still behind her.

I was suddenly alert as tonight's memories came back to me, as if the King was right behind me, reminding me:  
>*'<em>"Hmm…"<em>

"_You have to kill for me, Naruto."_

"_Kill?"_

"_Yeah."_

_He breathed in my ears and made me tremble from head to toe._

"_But I never killed anybody before… I don't want to…"_

"_Shh…"_

_He licked my ear and just then I realized that my member is still in his hand, I felt it growing harder as he licked my ear and bit it._

"_You will kill for me, Naruto." *'_

"He's the man you're looking for." The woman said to me, slowly and silently enough, just for my ears to hear.

For we are in the shadows, the shadows of the castle, and there are barely five steps ahead that if we step, we'll be into the light and the men who work will see us but as long as we don't move… we're like ghosts, we don't exist therefore we've never been here.

The wall seems to have been bombarded or something, either way, it's currently being repaired by the men ahead of us. We are at the lowest level, there is the sandstone of the castle covered in shadows and then grows the barely alive green grass covered in some snow.

Just now, I allowed myself to take the thing that's been wrapped in white rugs and unwrap it to meet the sharpest knife I've ever seen.

And for a moment, a ray of the weak sun hit the blade, and only for a second, I thought I saw one face that matches with one man from the ones that are currently working just steps ahead.

'I'm seeing things now…'

A barely audible thought, in the back of my mind, for in the next second, as if commanded, I look at where the woman looks, and I met exactly the face of the one the blade shown just seconds ago.

But my mind, my drugged mind…makes no connection.

As if I've been trained to do so, my entire life, since I've been born, I throw the knife with such accuracy that it hits ARATA MITZUNE right between his brown eyes.

Though, I don't understand why his companions are screaming and crying, I don't get why they are so pained to see the skull of that man in two, and I don't feel any fear if they even see us leaving the scene, not even running but casually walking.

Before I know it, the woman left me in the King's room, with new ordinary clothes and a warm meal, and by the time I'm finished. The King enters in his bedroom with a smirk on his face and when he arrives in bed, beside me, he whispers in my ear:

"Well done."

And then caresses my leg, up and down, to whisper in my ear again:  
>"You earned it."<p>

To be continued…

**AN2: **Tada! Horrible chapter, well…I know, I am pretty proud of it though you all must be thinking: what the hell is happening? Well, this is currently happening and I am just about 99 percent sure you all want a happy ending already or at least…something happy but how would one appreciate a good thing if no one shows you how bad things can get? Hmm? ( I stand no chance, do I?) Anyway, I won't say things will get better soon or not but either way, you must read to find out (Aka, beg you read to find out).

I think this story has one year, from when it's been published? Am I wrong? Hmm…doesn't matter. Love you all! Though I'm really sorry because I am being so…positive today or just pathetic with all those (…) but I started to like them…hope it doesn't turn out into a habit…

Either way! Happy New Year! (again) Thank you all for reading my story.


	28. Chapter 28:Looking up

_**AN1: **_Hello! For the 28 th time, this chapter was really quite something to write, you'll find out why. Hope everybody likes it and oh, inuyasha78, this chapter is mostly for you or I can say, because of you.

Well, on with the reading to know what I mean:

_**From the last (previous) chapter: **_

_The wall seems to have been bombarded or something, either way, it's currently being repaired by the men ahead of us. We are at the lowest level, there is the sandstone of the castle covered in shadows and then grows the barely alive green grass covered in some snow._

_Just now, I allowed myself to take the thing that's been wrapped in white rugs and unwrap it to meet the sharpest knife I've ever seen._

_And for a moment, a ray of the weak sun hit the blade, and only for a second, I thought I saw one face that matches with one man from the ones that are currently working just steps ahead._

_'I'm seeing things now…'_

_A barely audible thought, in the back of my mind, for in the next second, as if commanded, I look at where the woman looks, and I met exactly the face of the one the blade shown just seconds ago._

_But my mind, my drugged mind…makes no connection._

_As if I've been trained to do so, my entire life, since I've been born, I throw the knife with such accuracy that it hits ARATA MITZUNE right between his brown eyes._

_Though, I don't understand why his companions are screaming and crying, I don't get why they are so pained to see the skull of that man in two, and I don't feel any fear if they even see us leaving the scene, not even running but casually walking._

_Before I know it, the woman left me in the King's room, with new ordinary clothes and a warm meal, and by the time I'm finished. The King enters in his bedroom with a smirk on his face and when he arrives in bed, beside me, he whispers in my ear:_

_"Well done."_

_And then caresses my leg, up and down, to whisper in my ear again:_

_"You earned it."_

_**The new (actual) chapter:**_

It's like the sunrise after one year of moon rises. It's like rain after ten years of draft. It's like having the best meal you ever had after stealing food from garbage for your entire childhood. And it's like finding your soul mate after being alone your whole lifetime.

And there's no way that I can explain the pleasure he's giving me. For it has no boundaries, it's limitless, and it's just unimaginable, irreplaceable, the pleasure only God knows. But maybe He doesn't, since God might consider such pleasure as being a sin. Either way, it's not from this planet or this man who offers me all of this, and who only asks for me to throw some knives once in a while.

Well… wouldn't I be dumb to refuse him?

Chapter 28: Looking up

Every passage leads to a different place, no passage interferes with another and there are several secret passages no one knows about. Not even the woman who gives me the letters with names, or targets. The only one who knows about them is Uchiha Itachi. Who showed me where they are and how to open them up.

I used them a lot lately since they all know death knows about them, so when one of them dies…they no longer stay put and scream the name of the one who died but instead, with tears in their eyes and anger in their heart, they look around, sniff and run like mad dogs all around, desperate to find the one who brought death upon their friend.

So I don't go on the normal corridors but on the secret ones. No one ever found me there.

"Somebody stop the death rows." That's what they pray about. That's what they think about. That's all they talk about. Write about. Laugh and cry about. They even die, many of them committed suicide because they've been too afraid to be the next victim, or maybe, paranoia killed them. Either way, it didn't concern me.

What has me bothered are simple thoughts that want to annoy me by trying to tell me something, all the time, though I'm doing my job pretty well…I have to also deal with a constant headache, which never stops. When asleep, I have nightmares. I dreamt I was yelling at myself. And though I talked to my King about it, he said he can't do anything to stop it.

I first thought he's punishing me with the headache for something bad which I did. Though I found nothing after mostly…tried to think about it, but my head felt like a fog, one made of insects that never sleep or age. So many of them that they could kill a country, so many and they're all saying something, each one of them, and they're all driving me insane.

"How are you feeling today, Naruto?" Uchiha Itachi spoke to me, in a tone I couldn't quite identify, maybe unconcerned would be the perfect word to describe it but my mind couldn't go so far.

Or, I must admit, my mind isn't able to just exist. I am not even able to stand up when it attacks, so I end up on the floor with my head between my knees and with my hands on my head, as if I am protecting myself from something, maybe the attack itself though it's quite clear that it's all in my head.

I estimate it's been a month since I first arrived, though I can't really recall from where I came from, I can absolutely remember the headache started after the first week.

In the dead of the night, the night when I had to kill a woman, the only woman I killed since doing this job, and since then…the headache appeared, out of nowhere.

The woman I was ordered to kill was named Mujitsu Asakura. I still have no idea why I had to kill her since all she was doing when I found her was singing quietly while she washed clothes. Her brown hair threatened to get out of the white cap she was wearing and her dark skin only stood out more in the white dress. The headache has stroke me as I noticed her features. I still don't understand why the headache got me almost dizzy, pain in my chest had me breathless and almost stopped me from throwing the knife but one thought had me doing it: 'You'll have to wake up if you don't kill her.'

I pretty much don't remember anything that happened in the first week, before I shot the woman, or anything at all. But that's okay, no?

"I asked you if the pain is bearable." Uchiha Itachi said to me again and just then, I realized that it's almost midnight, and we're standing on a dark corridor, like fools, only because I don't answer his question.

"Yes, I can take it." I responded, to which he only nodded and continued to walk ahead of me, in the darkness with a long candle in his hand. But as I watched the shadows dance on the walls, I heard a voice.

"You called me?" I asked the King or maybe the silence as I heard a familiar voice call out, again and again, incompressible words. It had me on my knees, with both hands on my ears, behind the King which suddenly stopped walking. Maybe he stopped because of the sound my knees made on the wooden floor in the silence of the night. Maybe.

I was looking down, at the floor with half-lidded eyes as I continued to beg for my mind to stop screaming while my hands continued to push against my ears with force that hurt me, but it was nothing against the damned voice, which maybe, was all in my head. And though I knew it, I felt it; I refused to believe it or to acknowledge it.

"Naruto." He called my name.

"Yes, my King, what were you saying?"

I looked up at the King who looks at me as if I am crazy.

'And maybe I am.'

"I didn't say anything."

I heard the King talking and I knew it was the King talking this time. But who talked first then?

I looked to the ground again, to see his knees in front of me, for he knelled in front of me too and he rested his hands upon mine. And eased the pain I inflicted on my ears. But the headache was untouched, even stronger if possible. As if it got annoyed.

I had to stop myself from crying out loud though some low sounds must've came out of my mouth, either way, I finally looked up at him, thinking I will thank him for helping with what he can help at least. But in front of me wasn't Uchiha Itachi. In the barely lit corridor, in the dead of the night, with only a ray of light from a long old candle to lit a face unknown and familiar in the same time.

Maybe it was the shadows praying tricks on me, but the sea of thoughts from my mind were getting clearer as I watched the beautiful face which looked so alike with my King.

'The hell is he your King! You mean your puppeteer! That's what he is! You, freak thing, just wake up already; I'm tired of screaming here!'

My mind talked to me as if a real person talks to me.

My eyes went wider and wider in shock as I tried to convince myself these are my own thoughts but I never thought of any, I couldn't think of anything, my mind was another's territory.

'Someone who sounds just like me.'

'Listen here and listen closely, baby doll. I got tired of you using my body; killing innocent people…I don't want any of that…so just stop now! Stop Naruto! Stop it! Stop!'

When I thought, I actually could only hear his thoughts, hear him thinking: 'That's all I've been shouting about, but you were too busy killing people I told you not to kill, but you listen to the motherfucker instead of me…'

His thoughts, long rows of sorrow and disappointment, for I heard it all in his thoughts, my body realized, and my mind realized…I realized. Or maybe, he did.

As he rambled on and on, knowing I'm listening: 'You know… think of my like your freaking consciousness, I am all that's awake, but what the hell? You're just a freaking doll now, and the real thing, is me! I don't even know how to explain this shit…but no matter whom you are or who you're not, you're wearing my face! Using my hands to throw knives in people! You're using my feet to run! I am at blame no matter how mindless you are! So freaking wake up! I am fucking tired of sitting here, watching you kill, watching you listen to this man who's not even your King! He's the brother of your King! You don't get it, do you? You're not real, you're created with his power, the freaking power takes control of the body and it's like…a new person it's installed there. It can bring pain to the body, to the mind, bring memories back, activate thoughts but it's not real. Just like you did in the throne room…like I did…anyway…just refuse him! There's a freaking fragment of your consciousness, actually mine but anyway, that doesn't want to wake up, you're afraid to face the consequences but you must face them now! Until you don't do worse, until you don't kill more people! Just refuse! Activate the moment when I refused the power in the throne room!'

It had both logic and no logic in the same time. However, all I could muster back as the face of Uchiha Itachi was still replaced with someone's else face that looks similar to him. But they're not the same.

'Why?'

'Why refuse him? Why! I will freaking drive you insane! … No…you don't get it, stupid power…it's now about why you must refuse him, it's because you have to refuse him. It's enough. For even you noticed you don't work on me, you worked only because I wanted you to work and if it wouldn't have been for this freaking fragment in me that's afraid to refuse, I wouldn't ask you that, I would've refused you long ago! But you felt it, you felt me…not just my body. When you killed that woman, you thought she is someone you should've taken care of. She looked a bit like Sisay, her skin and hair… And now, the man I'm making you see is your real King, The man you have to take care of too, a man you …fell in love with. So freaking let me control my own body! You're only his power taking human form!'

'Why…'

"Because you're in fact sad, you're not a human being, you don't have your own mind or body. You're just a …emptied soul. Held captive."

My voice echoed in the dark hallways.

"I freaking won again, bastard!"

I screamed and raised my fist and hit Sasuke Uchiha's brother right in the face.

Meanwhile, on what one could name the other side of the world, though is in fact the other half of the three spiltted island: the dessert side, the winter side and the center, well known as the ruined city 'Underwater'. The winter part had its problems with its stolen citizens, but the warm side of it all; the dessert part wasn't doing any better, maybe even worse if possible.

For their King's facing really grave problems which the doctor prescribed as 'mental problems' with a frown and a cigarette between his lips but in reality, his problem was his heart. Lately, the King only did anything to get away from his 'royal duties' to spend his day locked up in his underground house drinking alcohol. He'd only get out to get some more.

Rumors had it that his lost 'soldier' has been killed. One of his still alive soldiers which were in charge of the main gate saw him running to a car which looked exactly like one of the cars of the enemy. And they even saw a man dragging the lost 'soldier' into it. So, the King lost all logic, all reason and hope.

While, two who once have also been soldiers though now enemies to where they're currently living; are the most confused and troubled of them all. Holding the future of the dessert side in the palm of their hands.

"I told you Cloud, forcing those soldiers to say that, when the King got crazy about where Naruto left was a bad idea! This is a nightmare! Anything else would've been better! Everybody's talking about the King and his bad mood, if Itachi hears…"

"There's no way Itachi will ever know, and if he would've find out that Naruto is alive, then the crazy motherfucker would've run after him! He's nuts! What's it to him anyway, Naruto is just one soldier from an army!"

"What are you saying Cloud? Naruto is a great guy. Don't you dare insult him when he's not even present."

"Ryuu! I'm not insulting him; I'm just saying the King's acting like his mother died! The whole island rules without him in this very moment because he's crying over Naruto's death. There's something that the blond didn't say to us, there was something more between them…"

"What do you mean?" With a troubled face, Ryuu sat down beside Cloud on what once used to be Sisay's bed.

"Wait a minute…" Cloud exclaimed all of a sudden with a thoughtful expression.

_*'"This is your new house and if you see somebody that looks alike your 'King', has black hair, black eyes and most of the times, dressed in black, pale skin and …handsome, ignore him. Don't let him in. Don't even breathe when he's anywhere near you."_

_Cloud smiled at 'handsome' but I was desperate, I was freaking out and I felt like crying the whole time. '*_

"When Naruto first brought us here, he described the King like he described himself, and also called him fucking handsome, Ryuu!"  
>"That doesn't prove anything." Ryuu turned around from the convinced face of his lover.<p>

"Come on, why would you name your King handsome if you don't have a crush on him or something? He couldn't help himself when he thought about his 'handsome' King."  
>"Maybe, but even if Naruto liked the guy, that doesn't explain…"<br>"You really don't use the brain you have in your pretty head?" Cloud interfered and grabbed Ryuu's chin roughly with one hand, forcing him to look right into his eyes.

"It's clear that Naruto left for the sake of the King he liked, and if the King acts this way towards the loss of the blond, it's crystal clear that the King liked him back. What we don't know is whether they were in a relationship or only had the hots for each other but at how the King acts; I doubt they were just friends."

Cloud calmly explained to which Ryuu only nodded as a response, finally seeing why Cloud's so sure. Still having small doubts but he ignored them. As Cloud let go of his chin and got up from the bed, Ryuu also got up with a concerned face.

"So you're basically saying you suggest we do what? If we tell the King the truth, he'll go after Naruto!"

"And why would that be so bad in the first place?"

"He'll get himself killed! That's just what Itachi wants!"

"Why do you think he's so weak?"

"Cloud, be serious. He lived under sunrise his entire life while there is Antarctica and at how light headed he is lately, he'll go there by himself in the best case, and even with an army, he'll have no plan for sure. And don't make me go on about how he has no 'superpowers' like Itachi has."

Ryuu finished by crossing his arms at his chest, with the expression of a winner though inside, he knew he didn't wish to win this battle. And as Cloud's stubbornness spread over his features, Ryuu didn't win after all.

"Why are you so sure blondie's King doesn't have any superpower?" Cloud asked with a small smile and a raised eyebrow.

The job of a doctor is never easy, even when the disease doesn't require anything more than an aspirin and a bandage, the case has been too easy so it's either troublesome or annoying, thinking that in that half an hour, you could've saved a life of a dying human while the doctor there doesn't have the time 'cause he's in the middle of a complicated surgery.

However, so far, Rafael Mamoru has had a nice life altogether, one which gave him good things out of nowhere but also took from him when he expected less. Been a pain in the ass when young, a rebel and then studying the same ass off until he got into medicine while the grades from when he was young only got in the way of his goal; what in fact helped him was his stubbornness, his passion for medicine since it was the only thing he liked and all he had lift.

Things only went for better when people who tested him discovered he's a natural talent. Like he's been made to hold a scalpel, and he proved he was when he's been at the top of anything that regarded his interest. Even those who had been studying for it since young and taking all the courses a rich brat can take, didn't do as good as him. A yet undiscovered medical genius.

What didn't help though was his actual situation behind the whole charade he put up in the hospital. For he's been broke from the start, well, at least his family was. The situation of his family was what first drove him to be a badass punk with nothing better to do than drink, smoke, and bother anybody who looked happy, no matter age or sex.

His mother left him when young, and his father barely came home, already having another family in another town; the only sign that he ever had a father were the letters he kept sending with money every month for the lady who took care of him, an old lady almost blind and with one foot already in the grave, who barely used the money his father send for him, he only fed him to keep him alive, only that.

He hated himself for sinking so low and giving satisfaction for both his father and the greedy old lady when he was young, so he started to hate all youngsters without even realizing the scowl which automatically appeared when he saw a young unconcerned spoiled expression of a kid or adolescent.

He found out he liked medicine when he caught himself going only to that lesson from all the classes he was supposed to take, or at least, not falling asleep in that certain lesson. Which was of course biology, and at how famous he was for being a troublemaker, all the teachers kept an eye on him, though, when the biology teacher realized that the kid's actually listening to her and actually responding correctly at every question or quiz; she took advantage and almost forced the kid to take good grades at the rest of the classes and finish school, she paid many of the things he wanted, mostly things he should already have, but he mostly asked for her to teach him. He couldn't believe his eyes when he entered high school. But even then, he barely cared about anything else but biology, anatomy or chemistry. Teachers pushed him to go up, try and try, and forced him to finish high school too since they all talked to him like he was a grown up adult, and a doctor at that.

He practiced medicine at many hospitals, being praised every time and gained well deserved experience. He never looked back, at where he came from when he took the first plane to other countries where he continued his studies. After a while, he got stuck at a famous hospital when a way too smart female doctor laid her green eyes on him. She was also rich and will become his wife in the latter years. He fell in love with her, but never out of love.

She was more than just a crush for him, soon enough, she meant the world and not to mention that she was planning to build a better hospital in which she planned to get him into too, with a full salary. They married soon after the said hospital was built and was working really well. But all good things have to stop at one point. His wife was soon diagnosed with Alzheimer. And not only had she broken his heart without even knowing by asking him again and again: Who are you? But also ran away from where she was taken care off right in the middle of the street where a car killed her.

He never got over it; he swore he'll never hold a scalpel again since even if he was the best, he wasn't ableto cure his own wife with his talent, with all he knew, he was useless. The only person he ever had, the only person he ever trusted, the only person he ever loved and who also loved him back.

He wanted to get away from that country so he packed all he had and got into a random plane which was supposed to take him to an island from what he got in his delusional state. And it did, only to get him kidnaped and then rescued by a youngster also known as the King of his part of the island, a dessert with weird tropical forests colliding in one. Weird stuff happened in this island and he noticed, but like all the citizens in it, he didn't give a damn and ignored anything out of sorts. He will live and die here anyway.

When the King found out that he's a doctor when he couldn't help himself from saving a woman from a painful and cruel death, though he couldn't remember what happened to her not even in the current day, he only knew she had the same color her wife had. And when the only youngster who ever touched his heart and made him care for him was now making a foul out of himself just like he had when he was young.

He wanted to strangle the black haired brat to death for its stupidity and its childish behavior.

But instead he kept pestering the black eyed brat while he stared as he made a mess out of himself. He locked him up several times, but even when he let him out of his own room, the brat would still drink, and sleep in a circle without edge.

So he now let the brat drink to the content of his heart while he gave him pills enough to keep him alive no matter how much he drunk though he knew that one day, if he continued, the pills won't be able to replace the food he wasn't eating, the days he wasn't sleeping or the days when he won't wake up. His brain will be damaged enough from all the alcohol he drank that he'll be beyond repair.

And though he resigned himself to the fact that a brat is still a brat, and that it was a horrible mistake to think that this brat was ever any different than the old himself or any other brats from the entire damn planet, he'd still come back and scream at the said King until he ran out of breath, until he'd smoke too many packets of cigarettes, force the brat take some pills not only for food but to also protect his stomach and brain, and then wait to carry the brat to bed when he drank enough to be unable to say a word and then leave to his empty home while swearing the brat enough for those who hear him to never look him in the eye ever again.

However, today, he had enough. He was out of patience for the kid's polluted brain to wake up and realize what he's doing to himself and to his damned Kingdom. At first he understood the pain he felt, he understood the loss of someone he cared about pained him very much, it's normal, though the blond brat was even worse than the brat King, he started getting angrier by the day for the King wasn't planning to get back on its feet any time soon.

And though, he hated lying, even to himself. He admitted that maybe the anger was only more fueled since even now, he saw himself in the King brat. Because he's acting exactly like Rafael acted when he lost his wife, he left everything that he worked so hard for behind to consume an inconsumable sorrow, pain and guilt. Guilt because he couldn't save the life of the one who died. So he took all the anger that ever existent in his heart, once directed to his own self, now all spilled in the King's ears to hear. It wasn't fair. But he just wasn't going to lose without trying this time. He'll make the brat listen.

From what he understood when he interrogated the two soldiers or morons who told the brat King that the blond brat died, even though he's been on his own when he interrogated them, it took him less than 5 minutes to get them talking. He had his own methods, still, what they said left him wide eyed and if someone ever asked, he'd stick to his story. The cigarette which fell from his lips when they finished narrating fell because of a strong wind, not because he was shocked or cared.

What the two morons actually said was that they watched the brat King yelling at them with eyes burning, really red at them, though they both tried to convince themselves it was because they stood outside in the sun all day, even if the thing happened whe it was almost night and they were still confused about the King's eyes for they could swear they've been red when he frantically yelled at them to open the gates for he wants to pass. But though they were scared as hell of their own King, they tried to explain while opening the gates that the soldier might be dead for somebody took him in the enemy's car. But the brat King being the brat he really is, didn't give a damn, only screamed louder, to run like a rabid dog in the wideness of the great dessert after a car which already left. They said he was headed in the right direction but there was no way he could catch the car by foot with the disadvantage, for the car was long gone already, not even into view from the high point above the gates from where they stood and watched.

Truth be told, the scream of the King when he saw himself defeated and alone wasn't heard only by the two morons who called themselves soldiers, but even some citizens who were not very far but also not very close to the gate heard it. And though the doctor would never admit, he had a bad feeling since he woke up in that very day and could've sworn he also heard something in the same hour the whole thing happened.

The kid was that close to the doctor.

The brat King interrogated the soldiers after this whole episode of madness, and really listened this time, and they really talked normally and calmly to him for they were also a bit glad his eyes returned to their black self. Even more, they tried make the conversation longer, to convince their scared self's that what they saw was only in their imagination.

And though the doctor had been pretty, almost, calm while listening to the whole thing. Something got under his skin while looking at the two men when their eyes that looked like ones remembering something so clear like the said person they're talking about it's right in front of them, they said something which made his cigarette fall and his eyes to open wider.

"His eyes flashed red. I don't know how to explain it…it's like for a second they were completely black but when we told him we believed he might be dead, his eyes went red as blood and then he blinked and they were back to black. When he left, we both sighted in relief at the same time which made us talk to each other, and then we confessed and realized we saw the same thing. We kept trying to say: we're crazy, but how can two people go crazy in the same second, and see the same thing?"

The doctor had the sudden and inexplicable urge to protect the damn brat King by asking them what they did all day and make them believe that for real, it was the effort, the sun and anything else he could find in that moment to excuse the 'red eyes'.

He even made up a disease for what they saw. They looked like they believed them but their eyes shone, eyes which will never forget what they saw.

The kid is still too close to the doctor.

For today, he really had it up to its throat. So when he arrived at the underground house and realized the door is locked…he snapped.

"You good for nothing damn brat! You call yourself a King! Well, listen to me, you're nothing else than a poor sucker afraid to step out and take its life in both hands! A disgusting brat crying over the loss of somebody but guess what! The more you stay there, more people will die because you weren't there to protect them! There'll be a day when they'll come in front of this damn door and pour cement on it to make sure you never get out!"

In one breath, he screamed louder than he screamed in his entire life. For the second time, the brat made his cigarette fall from his lips, and when he finished screaming and realized that too, his mouth automatically went wide, prepared to insult him further.

Something touched his shoulder and stopped him from yelling, he spun around in the same time the voice started talking.

"Wow, old man, chill, why're you yelling? The whole island heard you."  
>"Not yet…"<p>

The doctor turned back around, facing the door and opened his mouth again but another voice spoke before from behind him.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but is there a way or…another way, we can talk to the King?"

The doctor closed his mouth with a clearly annoyed expression on his face but it quickly faded as he thought he must've seen every single citizen from the damn dessert since everybody is sick at least once in a lifetime, so he knows them all. Being the only doctor, he's there when a child is born, when one gets a cold or a snakes bites a leg. The last doctor's been an old man who died pretty quickly after he arrived, leaving him alone and nonetheless, he thought he'll be as old one day and then another damned doctor will come and spare him for at least one day, before he dies, of sick annoying people and not to mention, brats.

So, the doctor turned around, finally. And intensely starred at the two boys, looking so much alike but very different in the same time and tried his hardest to think if he ever saw them. And even if they've just been rescued, he'd remember since the blond was gone and he had to drive the damn car through hell and back again with many other soldiers who tried to do the job of the brat King who refused to do it.

'Half an army trying to replace one brat, hilarious.'

The one who touched his arm and spoke first once again talked in a casual, relaxed voice but the doctor saw the signs that he was already getting impatient by being stared at and doing nothing but standing.

'Another damn brat, in fact two damn brats. Do women plan to kill us all?'

"Who are you two?" Doctor asked with no tone whatsoever, he even searched in his pockets for cigarettes and when he found them, he lit one, let it hang between his lips, and in the back of his mind swore nothing will make it fall, nothing until he decides to.

"We're…new." The one who talked secondly after the one who touched his shoulder inquired and the one, who stays in front of him, seems to protect the one from behind.

'New my ass. Still, Interesting brats.'

To be continued…

_**AN2: **_Another finished chapter, so many questions, so many new things in some way, so much left to say. Hope you all stick with me. See you all next Sunday. Thank you very much for reading.

**Answering reviews: **

**Cassy: **Well, yeah, I guess you figured that you need to remain at the same story to continue it without stopping, maybe you'll have a writer's block at some point but that's another thing. I think that's the secret actually, stick to only one story. Wish I could give you a prize for that theory that proved itself to be true in this chapter. Moreover, I really want you, along with the rest of the readers, to see exactly that journey and see the nature, the base, the core, of the characters; I rather created since you can tell they are not the same as in the anime, not at all. And see them the way I do, lead them to what I want them to be, and what they really are in this story. We slowly sink underwater, we've only seen the surface until now but we slowly got to at least once millimeter in the water. Thank you very much and they kind of are the opposite sides of the same coin. Hope you liked this chapter too.

**inuyasha78: **Thank you very much for commenting and for such sweet words, I'm so glad you said what you said and felt what you felt for my story. It brightened my day when I read it, so thank you from the bottom of my heart. And I'd give you a hint about Sasuke but I guess you'll find the next chapter very …intriguing. Hope you'll like it. And as you might've noticed, I took your idea in consideration and I'll slowly show you what's going on the other side. Your wish really helped me since I really thought about 'looking' at the other's King side too but I thought it'd be a bit out of place since we only had Naruto's point of view, but your comment made me go for it. If you have any other idea, do not hesitate to tell me. Hope you like what you'll read from now on. Thank you very much once again, wish you all the best.


	29. Chapter 29:The calm before the storm

**AN1: **Another Sunday update…though it's a miracle this time for I didn't had any time to write it so it's basically been written today. Thank God, I had an idea set in mind… Either way, I am really sorry but this is not beta'd. And it's my fault, my beta is not to blame. It is just impossible to correct so many pages while I have to post it…ahem, now. No matter what, I corrected it, as I knew best. Reread it too many times, but hey, I am human, so expect mistakes. :D If you see any that really annoy you tell me where. I also want to improve, as a writer too, so… be harsh if you must, this is how I learned English, but don't kill me.:D

Still, I hope everybody likes this chapter; I liked writing it though I think you will be quite surprised of what is happening. (I mean…I've also been surprised.) But I beg all of you, dear readers, to let me know your opinion of what should happen next, what you want to happen next in a review, or PM, or whatever you want to let me know because I'm taking your theories and wants into consideration and it's a pretty big thing, deciding many things. Well, I'll tell you more about it after you finish reading.

Sorry for the big AN, read on and thank you.

**From the last (previous) chapter:  
><strong>_"You good for nothing damn brat! You call yourself a King! Well, listen to me, you're nothing else than a poor sucker afraid to step out and take its life in both hands! A disgusting brat crying over the loss of somebody but guess what! The more you stay there, more people will die because you weren't there to protect them! There'll be a day when they'll come in front of this damn door and pour cement on it to make sure you never get out!"_

_In one breath, he screamed louder than he screamed in his entire life. For the second time, the brat made his cigarette fall from his lips, and when he finished screaming and realized that too, his mouth automatically went wide, prepared to insult him further._

_Something touched his shoulder and stopped him from yelling, he spun around in the same time the voice started talking._

"_Wow, old man, chill, why're you yelling? The whole island heard you."  
>"Not yet…"<em>

_The doctor turned back around, facing the door and opened his mouth again but another voice spoke before from behind him._

"_I'm sorry to interrupt, but is there a way or…another way, we can talk to the King?"_

_The doctor closed his mouth with a clearly annoyed expression on his face but it quickly faded as he thought he must've seen every single citizen from the damn dessert since everybody is sick at least once in a lifetime, so he knows them all, being the only doctor he's there when one child is born, when one gets a cold or a snakes bits a leg. The last doctor's been an old man who died pretty quickly after he arrived, leaving him alone and nonetheless, he thought he'll be as old one day and then another damned doctor will come and spare him for at least one day, before he dies, of sick annoying people and not to mention, brats._

_So, the doctor turned around, finally. And intensely starred at the two boys, looking so much alike but very different in the same time and tried his hardest to think if he ever saw them. And even if they've just been rescued, he'd remember since the blond was gone and he had to drive the damn car through hell and back again with many other soldiers who tried to do the job of the brat King who refused to do it._

'_Half an army trying to replace one brat, hilarious.'_

_The one who touched his arm and spoke first once again talked in a casual, relaxed voice but the doctor saw the signs that he was already getting impatient by being stared at and doing nothing but standing._

'_Another damn brat, in fact two damn brats. Do women plan to kill us all?'_

"_Who are you two?" Doctor asked with no tone whatsoever, he even searched in his pockets for cigarettes and when he found them, he lit one, let it hang between his lips, and in the back of his mind swore nothing will make it fall, noting until he decides to._

"_We're…new." The one who talked secondly after the one who touched his shoulder inquired and the one, who stays in front of him, seems to protect the one from behind._

'_New my ass. Still, Interesting brats.'_

**The new (actual) chapter:  
><strong>And until the last day of my life.

I will regret the fact that I did not chase them away in the moment I saw them.

Try to make them change their minds about trying to help the King brat.

Or just, kill them both for a tiny gun is right in the pack of cigarettes.

Chapter 29: The calm before the storm

"When did you two arrive?" I asked with a firm tone this time.

"Not a long time…weeks ago…" The redhead tried to trail off.

'His voice's trembling.'

"Look, it doesn't matter. We just want to talk with the King...only one minute."  
>I scowled at the other one as he pretty much saved the redhead whose sigh of relief was clear when I changed my target.<p>

So I lit another cigarette and talked with a passive voice while doing so.

"I'm afraid the King doesn't take any visits lately. Moreover, you either have been deaf when everybody's been rambling about his state; either not been living here so you would not know the rumors. Small Island, dirty mouths."

I half smiled, ironically, expecting to leave them mute, but none of that happened; instead, the one who touched my shoulder continued the conversation nonchalantly.

"We heard and that is just why…I think we can get the King back to how he was before…"

He told me and then smiled a smile so sincere that I cursed deep within.

'I won't let another brat get me!'

"Then go ahead and tell him what you need to, get him back or whatever."

I said as I moved a step away from the door, letting him take my place but he didn't.

"Somebody needs to be with him…when we…tell him..." His eyes looked to the ground and I immediately got the feeling that they both have something either suspicious or either something possibly working.  
>"Tell him what?"<p>

"You can hear too, I guess, if you don't tell anybody else."

"Why would I? I hate them all. Spill it out." I said with a feeling of small discomfort at the thought of someone thinking of me as a person who can't hold a secret. However, I dropped it since the brat does not know me, of course.

'How would he know me? Why would he?'

"I…can't…at least, not yet. Can't we just make him get out, or let us go in?"

"Ha! Be my guest. This thing," I said while pointing at the door, "has been here even when the enemies found it and tried to destroy it and it's still intact. And how do you want to get inside an underground house? Dig a whole? You can try but I won't help you when you hit the walls."

I replied as I finished another cigarette I thrown and smashed underneath my shoe. For the conversation was going slowly, terribly, hell, turtles are moving faster. I talked fast but their answers, mostly his, were slow but probably… he knew what to say, it's just that he's choosing his words carefully, afraid to say anything that can divulge their objective.

'Smart brat, not afraid to keep quiet for so long in front of a stranger, I could've been insane, but he calculates every word and gesture. Hmm…'

I smiled deep within.

"You're a friend of his, one who knows him, aren't you?"  
>He suddenly asked and my smile only got wider.<p>

"Yes, I am."  
>I casually said while I lit yet another cigarette.<p>

"You can make him come out, you know where it hurts him, make him get out."

I was already grinning like an idiot.

"Roger." I said, and smiled even outside.

So, I threw the unfinished cigarette and retook my spot, in front of the impenetrable door.

"Hey, brat! Guess what, everybody was right, you proved them right!"

I counted to ten seconds and then screamed my lungs out again in the still locked door.

"You are just like your father, you never would've guessed. No one would have after all!"

Another ten seconds, and I think I even heard something falling inside.

"A brat like you, it's only natural for you… to do… what your father did!"

I slowly screamed and counted five seconds this time and I heard something again, but I couldn't identify what.

"To your mother!"  
>Ten more seconds.<p>

"Both of you like to drink and you two also have something else in common, do you know what?!"

Five seconds.

Something on the staircase.

"Not only do you love to drink like your father, like alcohol is water, but you're also alike at something else!"

Footsteps, I heard footsteps.

"Remember that boy you liked before the dumb brat? Oh, you did that to him too!"

A key entered in the key whole.

"Runs in the blood, you and your father, so good at …"  
>A cold slim hand wrapped around my neck with a painfully strong hold, and looking down, smiling down at him, at how much weight he lost, it was a miracle his hold was so strong. But as a doctor, there were several cases when strength comes even to the most loosen muscles when angered. Emotions cannot be controlled. Even with pills, they never really disappear; they just wait the perfect moment to explode. And what doctor I'd be not to admit the marvelous concept that anger or even love can have against the body, even when diseased, or about to die, doesn't matter.<p>

And not only the King brat got underneath my skin since we met but we also told each other our stories, between sips of whisky, in the good days. I think I probably know everything about him and he knows almost everything about me. But it'd be too foolish and naïve to think I know him, no one knows another human completely, we can't even trust our own self's sometimes. However, even if the person changes, its past never changes. That, I know for sure. If you add a little bit of information, which you found out in the present or future, that's one thing but the base…never changes. So, I can proudly admit that I also got underneath his skin.

"Another word and I'll kill you." His eyes are closed but I can feel anger flowing out of every poor from his pale skin.

And though I never meant to think so, when he puts me down and still takes some seconds to open his eyes, I find myself thinking: 'You closed your eyes, for they were red, weren't they?'

He looked at us, expressionless as if we're on Mars and he's on Pluto. He reeks of alcohol and even so, he's still clean, clothes, hair, everything.

'Crazy brat.'

I take one cigarette and my lighter, the lighter my wife gave me on my birthday and lit the cigarette as I know, he's staring at them. Trying to recall their existences in his fogged memory but as all Uchihas, he's also doomed since their blood is from the rivers of hell! For I am one hundred percent sure that even in this state, he remembers every damn face he ever saw since he was born.

'But they look at him with eyes that…search. What are you searching for, brats?'

I stay in the middle and I can tell the King brat already realized they're not from this island, as I did. In addition, already looks prepared to battle, while the other two brats look lost in their words.

'Sure they forgot what they came to do here.'

"Well, we…we just…"

The redhead tried talking but once again, failed. To which I observe that it woke up the smart one who took the lead immediately.

'It's like they're connected.'

"There's something you need to know but you must calm down first, we're not here to harm anybody, and absolutely not trying to start a war, so can we just go inside, you sit down and let us explain?"

Cursive, as if talking to a long lost friend, he explained and with no fear in voice or looks, but with fists, instead of relaxed hands, as he spoke, asked or maybe…begged.

With the corner of my eye, I spot the King brat nodding weakly but clearly. So all four of us walked down the stairs, cleaned the place a bit for it was crowded with all those bottles. Let the door open for the smell to get outside. Though I expected for all four of us to suffocate in here, I expected for the horrible smell of alcohol to force us all to remain outside, but I once again was wrong. No bad smell whatsoever, plenty of air too.

The brat King sat down and then I also sat down, and the two brats sat on the couch while we were on armchairs. No matter what, I felt prepared for hell to break free; in fact, I wanted hell to break free.

'I had enough of storm clouds approaching, closer and closer, just rain already!'

My last thought as the smart brat opened his mouth.

And until the last day of my life.

I will regret the fact that I didn't chase them away in the moment I saw them.

Try to make them change their minds about trying to help the King brat.

Or just, kill them both for a tiny gun is right in the pack of cigarettes.

I did not have the redhead at heart after the conversation we did not share.

Nevertheless, the smart one got me somehow and I started thinking there must be a reason why he was with, and liked the redhead, protected him even.

'Nah…I'll let it run its course.' I thought, the last time I considered taking the gun out each time I took another cigarette. In the end, I didn't. Though I already felt I'd pay for it, but if the youngsters remained alive, I had no say in it.

"My name is Cloud and he's Ryuu. We're …well, it doesn't matter what we are. Basically, what I want to say is that…Naruto is not dead."

"What?!" The brat King screamed while he also stood up, something in his eyes shone but not red eyes this time, just pure joy, and maybe something else I couldn't describe.

"He's…on the other side. Living there."  
>"Why?" I asked for I couldn't let the smart one end at this question which blamed the dumb blond brat as hell, as if saying: He betrayed you. And the King brat would go insane for real this time.<p>

"He got kidnapped by them, with a woman, Sisay. Moreover, they were imprisoned, then…the King killed Sisay and then Naruto wanted to go bury her here, and he also took us from there, saved us all. He buried Sisay in her backyard and left us here safe, while he said he'll work for the King."  
>I think the King brat also noticed he used 'King' for his damned brother, while he is the King in here. Therefore, it goes without saying, from what he said and from the way he talks… they've been his soldiers. Either way, the dumb blond brat turned out not to be a betrayer.<p>

'I thought he was dumb from the first time I saw him, even though he was out of it, he looked dumb…and when he opened those eyes, I was sure.

'He'd give anything for another person, even his life…a dumb blond brat.'

I looked up at the King who looked really taken aback by all the information. And though he looked like he's about to faint, he didn't. Took a step back, balancing himself instead of falling and on instinct. Because after shock comes instinct. He turned around, went to the wall with some swords attached in a setting and took one from them all.

"W-what are you doing? He didn't betray you."

'The redhead finally talked; and oh, pardon me, Ryuu finally talked, nah, still redhead. '

"You will take me there. Get me inside, we take Naruto back."

"You crazy?" Cloud asked, with what seemed to be his real language for he talked immediately, for the first time.

"No, why?" The brat King asked with a twitched eyebrow.

"He's so fucked up to probably sleep with him in the same bed. He knows he's been yours so of course he's with him for fucking twenty-four per twenty-four. "

'Yeah, bad mouth, this is his real tongue for sure.'

"I don't care even if they bath together, I will bring him back no matter who's against it and if none of you noticed, you two are in a land where you're not so welcomed, and I don't even need to tell my citizens about your existence, I can kill you both in a second!"

'The brat King's losing it.'

"Everybody calm down!" I heard myself screaming as I took only one glance at Cloud who seemed to do a great effort to stay calm as his teeth almost rip the skin of his lips, and his nails dig into the flesh of his leg.

'I can tell… his personality is violent, though he's smart, he's also conscious of his bad mouth and his immediate anger, so he controlled his words until he decided it was enough, but he calculated the brat King wrong. However, how's anybody supposed to know that when the King brat hears the word 'Naruto', he snaps? Not to mention that I sense he's more protective of the redhead, more than of himself, for he started to inflict pain on himself, to mostly stop himself from attacking at the mention of both of them being killed, he immediately got conscious of the redhead, spotted him with his eyes. '

"I am calm! But they need to understand that I am the King now, their King!"

Cloud got up from his place as if burned. The red head didn't move though, but with his eyes, he begged Cloud to sit back down and take it, without causing more trouble. However, what the brat said might've triggered something.

"If we wouldn't have told you that Naruto is alive, you would still be drinking your ass off until you would've died. And now you order us around to fucking take you to that deathtrap while Naruto, our Friend! Would hate us for doing that…we even risked our lives because we were worried about your Citizens! And just so you know, even if you would've been the fucking King of the fucking planet, that doesn't change the fact that you're an asshole!"

The King only blinked. That was his reaction. One quick blink of his eyelashes on his black eyes. One moment but it was his response to the insult. Moreover, his expression was one that I knew well and one I did not see very often since I've met him.

'Realization.'

As if he's been asleep for the entire time, though he's in fact been drunk or hungover, he now realized he screamed for the entire time he's been asleep and disturbed everybody else's silence. In addition, we are talking about his entire Kingdom. So basically, the reality finally set in, sunk in, and destroyed something for the lights of his eyes faded for a second, quickly but surely. I was so attentive that I was rudely staring at him, but I was not the only one. The three of us looked at him, analyzed and maybe, they were capable of seeing that the brat realized he had once been a man and he returned to being a boy, and that he put in danger too many lives to enumerate, too. However, he's still childish enough to let his Kingdom take care of itself while he'd run off to rescue only one life, not the rest he swore to protect, but all three of us knew, and felt that there's no turning back now.

That even if the King Himself would back down; we'd still need to bring that dumb blond back.

'He belongs here, with the rest of us, since we're all alike, we're all dumb.'

Hours later, I passed the phrase of us being dumb, for we are all straight retarded.

This is what I was thinking about when the two 'new' brats started drawing the insides and outsides of the castle they've been soldiers at; now, drawing all of it at the order of, guess whom. Another King, who somehow managed the guts to apologize and explain to the two brats that he lost so many people he loved, he refused to lose another one and that's why he was ready to do anything in order to protect what he had left. They nodded in understatement and accepted for the King brat to order them around. More or less satisfied about it.

Even more, since the two brats started drawing, the King brat analyzed and tried to memorize everything or at least that is what he seems to be doing. Either way, I just stood on an armchair and enjoyed my cigarette as if it's popcorn while watching the two brats crazily drawing and the brat King annoyingly pacing around the room with a sheet in his hands.

'At least he's awake, but now, he's too awake.'

A sigh escaped my lips in the same time with the smoke and in that second, I did not notice the King stopped pacing like a dog in heat. However, he indeed stopped and looked ahead, at nothing but blank space, probably thinking about something. But I only noticed when the sheet fell on the ground, the sheet not making enough sound for the duo to stop but they also looked up at the brat King who seemed to be so caught up in his thoughts and so happy about them, that it was scary.

"Something wrong?"

Cloud asked but he was the only one who dared as the brat King almost ran to my chair and rested two arms on each side of it, capturing me in between while glaring at me with eyes that could probably kill. After all, I've seen him killing.

As he clearly said with brand new lights burning within his black eyes:

"I have a plan."

On the other side of the same coin, the real Naruto was having a hard time, the worse he had since he arrived in the winter side. Which was inevitable after all, because since he woke up, and hit his new 'King' as much and as bad as he could, the King ordered that he'd be locked up until there will be a sentence with his punishment.

The conflict however was set in both minds. Naruto having once again the upper hand while smirking, though tied up, thinking that there's no way the King can punish him in his 'usual way' because once again, he was immune to his powers.

He swore to himself that he'd never ever let Itachi Uchiha's power to control him, no matter pain or pleasure. He was done.

'Damn, it hurts.'

He thought as the handcuffs refused to give in, to let some air breathe into the tired arms, for he's suspended on the wall, with his hands above his head and a huge cannon ball tied up to his legs just to make sure it was a painful process. And not to mention, those were too tight around his ankles too, leaving marks.

'Fucking assholes! All Uchiha's are assholes!'

He screamed deep within but no sound came out. He was powerless.

'At least, when Sasuke tied me up, it wasn't this painful and he made sure I was feed.'

Not even water, he didn't receive anything and he wasn't sure how long it's been since he was tied up and imprisoned in the dark room. Where the only furniture was a table made of stone, or that should be a table, more like a level ground sculpted rock, while the ground was also made of gray rock along with the walls, and his only companies were the mice's who traveled freely from one side of the room to another.

'No way am I your dinner, you fat bloodsuckers!'

He swore inside as he tried to move his foot and kick one mouse that has been trying to steal the nail from his middle finger from his left leg for too long now. However, besides will, he had nothing else. His arms felt so numb he doubted he'll ever be able to move them anytime soon, his legs were forced to the ground in such a painful way he felt nothing else but them, however, he was somehow grateful for the pain of his legs for it helped him forget about the hole his stomach became.

He would faint and he would wake up after he'd have a quick but sure nightmare. One he cannot remember when he wakes up all sweaty and panicked, about to have a heart attack. He started to get paranoid and seeing things in the darkness. Paranoid when his eyes would see the metal door being opened by his new 'King' and then having illusions or maybe, fantasies that Sasuke is in the same room, that he came to rescue him. Nevertheless, no matter how hard he yelled, inside or outside, giving even his last breath, Sasuke would only smile at him and promise he will help him and Naruto would tell him to just do it already, break the chains and lead him out of this hellhole, but he never did it.

After he started getting angry with Sasuke, his already exhausted body and mind had projected the presence, and perfect human copy of Sisay, sitting right in front of him. Telling him to calm down while he'd beg her, with no voice now, he used it all on Sasuke, to release him, set him free, take him with her. However, she'd nod her head from left to right, saying no.

'Why, why not?! You're so angry with me? You hate me so much?! If you want revenge then fine, I am sorry! I am so sorry…'

He'd faint while crying and all this repeated so many times he thought he lost his mind; after all, it wasn't out of the question.

Still, one day, or night, or whatever it was, he woke up, still sweaty and tired but his mind was more lucid than it has been in weeks. He stared at the dark room, and he could see for his eyes were, of course, used to the darkness by now. However, this time, no one visited him. There wasn't even one mouse. He was alone. But not quite.

For he looked down at the ground when he felt something on his bare feet, and he saw a cat blinking up at him as she warmed his feet with her or his fur. No matter what, this was the craziest illusion of them all, or so he thought when the cat blinked again and he swore she or he's trying to tell him something. However, what scared him in fact was the reality of the cat. How he could feel every part of her body, for after all, how could a ghost provide him warmth? It was above his mentality, and though, he was conscious this time, therefore, he did not faint, he also did not even feel the hunger or the pain from his legs, and he could only feel the warmth of the cat and its eyes staring at him with such intensity…that it scared him.

"What are you trying to tell me? What are you?"

His voice was so clear and his neck felt so normal, no longer dry, even better if possible. Still, the cat did not answer, only blinked its eyes once again at him.

'Familiar.' The cat looked familiar to him, felt familiar but in all of his calmness, it just didn't quite click where he saw it, where he felt it before. All he wanted after all was for the cat to stay there, on his feet, to never leave, and for him to never feel such pain again.

Outside, his conscious mind protected him, refused to let him recall the comfort when the same fur offered him comfort… like before he and Sisay had been separated, and she's been killed not too long after. He pretended he didn't remember and maybe it was because of the cat that he didn't feel the pain and message his insides sent him as if saying: Something's coming to get you this time.

Therefore, in the minutes or maybe just moment of peace, he wasn't able to think of anything or feel any pain. But when the metal door was really slammed open by his new 'King', who entered the room, but only him. He looked ahead, only to look down only to see sand on his bare feet. He barely even cared about the sand, didn't even think that they're now on the winter side and the possibility for the sand to arrive from there at his feet, in probably, the dungeon of the winter castle was quite impossible.

For he only panicked, feeling all the pain assaulting him at once. He could feel his heart beating in his ears, like a frenetic drum, his ankles and wrists burning, the rest of his body covered with cold but not smelly sweat, and his throat tightened within his neck, feeling drier than the desert itself.

All of this as the 'King' entered inside the room, opened the door only to slam it closed again. There was only one bulb hanging from the ceiling now, moving from left to right as if in the middle of an earthquake, the poor bulb never finding its balance to stay still for only one second.

Naruto didn't even noticed it while in all the darkness, he saw it existed only when it was turned on to light the dense darkness, at least a little bit, for it wasn't so powerful, though, it was strong enough to make his eyes go blind for a second. Maybe it was because of the panic. For even though he didn't admit that the cat was comforting and announcing him once again that something terrible will happen, he knew, the state he fell into was so close to insanity that he was so prepared and so unprepared in the same time, that it killed him from the core of his very being.

The steps the King took from the other side of the room to him were pure torture. It echoed in every cell of his brain, and his ears were ringing, his heart racing, and his body trembling. Maybe anger, or maybe fear.

For no one would believe him, no one would be able to understand what you feel when you see his eyes. Red eyes. Staring at him with no mercy, confident and all mighty, Uchiha Itachi stared at him, from his feet to the last root of his blond hair.

Staring at him with those two red piercing eyes.

After all the mental torture and even the physical torture, he thought he has gone crazy.

However, when the red eyed man stuck a bottle at his lips, forced him to drink it, while he barely realized is water for he was far too terrified to feel anything else, he realized is real.

The taste is real; the relief of his neck is real.

Everything is real.

The 'King' threw the empty bottle to the ground as Naruto panted from all the water he drank too fast, though his body was screaming for it, longing for the so much needed liquid. He felt better after drinking something but he also wasn't naïve enough to think that the devil standing in front of him was giving him any mercy whatsoever. Not to mention that there wasn't not even one scar or even the smallest sign that Naruto had ever hit him, touched him with one single finger.

'You just want to make sure I feel the pain, not the thirst or hunger.'

"How are you feeling?"

He asked the question so cold, and so indifferent of my answer that I felt like spitting in his face, but I inhaled and exhaled with patience.

'I need to calm down, don't make things any worse…'

_*'"How _are _you feeling today, Naruto?" Uchiha Itachi spoke to me, in a tone I couldn't quite identify, maybe unconcerned would be the perfect word to describe it but my mind couldn't go so far.*'_

'Why am I remembering things now?'

"I quite like how you treat your guests, my body never felt better. How are You feeling?"

I thought about being reasonable or at least docile, but it seems I have a bad temper even when I don't want it. Thank God that I stopped at least at only being ironic.

"I've been thinking lately, about your situation."

"My…situation?" I started whispering for he's so close to me that's impossible otherwise. His hands are on each side of my body and his lips are millimeters away from where my ear meets my neck.

"Yeah. I was wondering if you are prepared to kill for me again."  
>It wasn't a question, it was a request. That much I could understand as his breath sent shivers down my spine and as his right hand touched my waist, which feels slimmer now that it's touched.<p>

"I never killed for you in the first place."

I said, smirking back for a small laugh that held no humor within it echoed in my ears.

"Sure you did. Those were your hands that accepted the knife, took the knife, and threw the knife. Not mine, Naruto."

While he spoke, I saw it all. I saw myself doing exactly as he said; I saw the people who cried, people who desperately run after someone who killed their friend, their father, or their mother. Seeking revenge or just justice. I saw their pained eyes as they died alone, in agony, not even knowing what's happening. Falling to the ground with tears in their eyes, without making one single sound.

"How…how can you still get inside my head?"

I asked him with tears threatening to get out.

"I am not. And you know I am not doing anything. I am conscious of how alert and immune you are now of my powers. However, what you did when my power set you in the back of your own mind, only needs to be said aloud and the brain will show you everything it keeps hidden. It is quite easily for you to remember everything, and I mean everything."

The power of his words worked more than any supernatural power in the world right now.

I was absorbed by fear, fear I never felt before. Every time I felt fear, I replaced it with anger. Anger directed at not only at those who made me to feel fear but also damn furious at me, from letting myself feel it.

However, this time is different.

'I am afraid, of myself.'

His tongue licking my ear and biting it had me awake in seconds but still trembling.

"I am quite confident you remember that you promised me something. After you bury the saint, free two of my soldiers, you will be all mine. That was our deal."

I didn't even have to see to remember that horrible day. Nevertheless, even if I wanted, I couldn't.

His hands traveled from underneath my blouse to my left nipple.

I was disgusted of myself for feeling even the smallest pleasure, for my body to react to the red-eyed man turned my soul from white to black.

"You said you won't do anything to escape." He whispered against my chapped lips as he pulled the nipple enough to have my lower regions respond.  
>"I didn't do anything to escape."<p>

"You didn't, but you said you will be mine, do all I say. But you still hope my brother will come and save you."

'How did he…?'

"You were quite out of it last time when I came; you confused me with my brother, Naruto."

"You damn…ah…"

His teeth grabbed my lower lip and sucked at it while with his right hand which has been on my nipple, now grabbed my butt. My pants felt tighter in the front.

'Why the hell is my body responding?'

"You are quite confused and angry right now because your body wants me. Aren't you?"

I did not answer but I turned my head to the left in the moment he let go of my lower lip. I felt blood slipping on my chin.

"Maybe because you're so used to be forced, you started liking to be forced. To be raped."  
>"You're wrong!"<p>

I found my voice at this, but in the moment I yelled and looked him straight in the red eyes; He grabbed my manhood with the hand, which used to be on my butt.

"S-Stop touching me!"

My voice was clear as water, screaming with confidence but somehow, his movements silenced me each time.

"I believe there is a circle. When you start your sexual life forced, you will find pleasure in sex only when forced. If I understood well, when my bother offered you love, you freaked out. You have no idea how to work with that….but with me…Hmm…"

He smirked as my erection grew harder in his hand and my eyes got angrier with every word he spoke, as I understood that while I've been 'in the back of my own mind' he freely saw everything I ever saw. Maybe things I do not even remember for my brain was so shocked he spared me the pain. Nonetheless, I feel anger now, but it has been so short-lived for a part of me says that he's right in what he's saying.

'Love scares me. Real affection, real feelings, real gentleness scares the hell out of me. However, I always thought it's because I don't believe in any of them, but then… I believed Sasuke, though I refused to let myself see that. I believed he loved me when we were together, however… I still felt like running. Running feels natural to me, way easier though painful for me to play the role of leaving him there, alone, for I know how to get hurt, how to hurt, how to play the dramatic role, the victim of my own anger. No way have I known what to do in a real relationship with no problems, with a happy ending and with pink butterflies flying within my tummy. I get scared… '

"You see? I know it has been a long time since anybody entered you, because you were so young….how old you were then after all?"

"Shut the hell up!"

I screamed, whispered and then...moaned.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!"

I really yelled as he got me off the wall but I am still tied up and I am sure he does not intend to release my hands or feet. However, I was wrong. He unchained my hands but not my legs. In addition, the thing that hangs from my legs is heavy enough for me not to be able to do at least one step, so I am pretty much still stuck.  
>"We will get to that too. Don't worry."<br>I heard him saying with a smirk clear in his voice.

He took my entire view of the rest of the room, for he stood so close to me that I forgot about the moving hanged bulb, but as he carried me with unreal strength for he lifted me up along with the cannon ball as if we are as heavy as the air is. Quickly, he stood in front of the rock table and he left the cannon ball to fall besides it as he also placed me down on it.

However, I didn't get what was happening.

The bulb made odd shadows, lighting his face, his red eyes only to leave them in the dark seconds later. The rock felt hard and cold against my tummy and as I tried to stand up with trembling arms, it was only to be pushed back down by his hand.

He got a tight grip of my quite long blond hair, pulling it, moving my head as he pleases. And I barely even realized how many clothes I have on. Or how many I don't have on anymore. I just felt cold.

Staring blankly ahead, as if in a dream or nightmare, as the bulb moved from left to right, shadows disappearing and reappearing, again and again. I felt blood coming out of my mouth at how hard I've been slammed against the hard rock table. However, I felt his other hand he didn't have in my hair, scratching my back and then stretching my naked legs apart.

Still, I looked ahead at the face that appeared and reappeared. Pale skin, beautiful body and marvelous face features, black hair and big warm hands. However, something was changed. His eyes…were also red. Just like the eyes of his brother.

To be continued…

**AN2: **Well, yeah…many things happening. Not all good though. Still, as I said in AN # 1, I want to know your opinion. If you think, the one from the shadows is the real Sasuke or just Naruto's imagination, call for help or however you want to name it. Which makes me go to question number 2, which is if you want Itachi to continue his … ahem…rape? Or not. It is pretty much both your desires and my own. However, I am counting, if I get 10 people wanting the same thing it's pretty much, yeah, I will do that. If you people have no opinion, I will do what I please. (And of course you'll find out only by reading the next chapter :D, yeah, evil)

So yeah, also check out the new poll. (If you want of course) see you next Sunday.

**Answering reviews:**

**inuyasha78: **Wow, it's one huge compliment to say that. Made me feel so good, thank you sincerely! I am so happy you liked them all. And of course I take your opinion in consideration, it really helped me write chapter 28 so, tell me without hesitation. Don't worry; I will keep that in mind. Just knowing that you are reading them and that you like them, is the best of them all.

**uchiha hinata21:**Thank you so much for saying that, I'm glad you liked it, hope you like this one though, for it's a bit...hmm...different? :D Either way, you're so sweet for saying that. Reviews keep me writing even when I am stuck or really have no time or mood, so thank you, even 2 words are enough to make me smile and to continue.


	30. Chapter 30:Dysfunctional family

**AN1: **Well, first, I want to honestly apologize to anybody who patiently waited a new chapter all day but I've been trying to write it all day and it's still not finished. And it's past middle of the night and tomorrow is quite an important day for me, quite a hard one too… and it's my problem, I know, I should've had it done by now but it just isn't all done. This is barely half of it, but still, I thought you all deserve to know what happened next since I let you all hanging in the last chapter and …I guess I'll tell you all more in AN2. Not to mention, I hope I finish this chapter within this week and not in the next Sunday when a new chapter should be posted.

I am sorry once again, hope nobody's too upset…on with the reading:

**From the last (previous) chapter:**

'_Love scares me. Real affection, real feelings, real gentleness scares the hell out of me. However, I always thought it's because I don't believe in any of them, but then… I believed Sasuke, though I refused to let myself see that. I believed he loved me when we were together, however… I still felt like running. Running feels natural to me, way easier though painful for me to play the role of leaving him there, alone, for I know how to get hurt, how to hurt, how to play the dramatic role, the victim of my own anger. No way have I known what to do in a real relationship with no problems, with a happy ending and with pink butterflies flying within my tummy. I get scared… '_

"_You see? I know it has been a long time since anybody entered you, because you were so young….how old you were then after all?"_

"_Shut the hell up!"_

_I screamed, whispered and then...moaned._

"_Fuck, fuck, fuck!"_

_I really yelled as he got me off the wall but I am still tied up and I am sure he does not intend to release my hands or feet. However, I was wrong. He unchained my hands but not my legs. In addition, the thing that hangs from my legs is heavy enough for me not to be able to do at least one step, so I am pretty much still stuck.  
>"We will get to that too. Don't worry."<br>I heard him saying with a smirk clear in his voice._

_He took my entire view of the rest of the room, for he stood so close to me that I forgot about the moving hanged bulb, but as he carried me with unreal strength for he lifted me up along with the cannon ball as if we are as heavy as the air is. Quickly, he stood in front of the rock table and he left the cannon ball to fall besides it as he also placed me down on it._

_However, I didn't get what was happening._

_The bulb made odd shadows, lighting his face, his red eyes only to leave them in the dark seconds later. The rock felt hard and cold against my tummy and as I tried to stand up with trembling arms, it was only to be pushed back down by his hand._

_He got a tight grip of my quite long blond hair, pulling it, moving my head as he pleases. And I barely even realized how many clothes I have on. Or how many I don't have on anymore. I just felt cold._

_Staring blankly ahead, as if in a dream or nightmare, as the bulb moved from left to right, shadows disappearing and reappearing, again and again. I felt blood coming out of my mouth at how hard I've been slammed against the hard rock table. However, I felt his other hand he didn't had in my hair, scratching my back and then stretching my naked legs apart._

_Still, I looked ahead at the face that appeared and reappeared. Pale skin, beautiful body and marvelous face features, black hair and big warm hands. However, something was changed. His eyes…were also red. Just like the eyes of his brother._

**The new (actual) chapter:**

Chapter 30: Dysfunctional family

His black eyes sparkled in the darkness like diamonds and I just couldn't look away, I just did not want to while he looked down at me with pity and sorrow.

"Sasuke?"

"Yes, Naruto?"

"Why don't you come and save me?"  
>I said with half a smile and with blood sliding from my lips on the table underneath, as I felt the 'King' forcing my legs to spread wider. And with the little force I had, I resisted but continued to look ahead, the bulb going from left to right above our heads.<p>

It enlightens his face and then he becomes one with the darkness when gone.

"I am coming Naruto."

"Hah!"

I ironically huffed, bitterly laughing at his words, with the blood still running and then, tears flowing and colliding with it as I felt something painful, something that in my mind didn't register, something I wasn't yet able to identify.

"Yeah right, do you think I am that stupid to believe that? You sly King… you only stared at me when I left, didn't you?"

The taste of blood felt like metal on my tongue and the salty tears affected my view, while I watched his inexpressive face staring down at me, but then the painful feeling became unsupportable, as if I've been stabbed from behind, no, something worse. There was no greater pain, nothing else that I could feel and that could top the excruciating pain I felt in the moment the man entered me with brutal force, again and again, with anger, gripping at my blond hair as the pain reached such limits that I wasn't even able to scream.

I only blinked once, then twice, but my eyes closed on their own as blessed numbness never released me but I knew I was about to faint from all the pain, one moment or later, and I couldn't ask for more in that moment, however, I still heard the familiar yet inexistent voice of Uchiha Sasuke talking to me, reassuring me and still, lying to me.

"I will come and save you, Naruto. I promise."

My boots protested in the sand as I stepped out of the car and looked straight ahead.

"What are you doing brat? We don't have the time to take a walk in the desert right now; we need to reach the winter side!"

The doctor yelled at me, as I tried to get the black hair out of my eyes for I tried to get a better look at what I thought I saw when I was in the car and screamed at the doctor to stop it. The duo didn't protest, but stood silent. I walked a bit, and then bowed down at some tress in the middle of the dessert which is plainly odd, but this island was never normal to begin with. I looked closer trying to recall what I thought I saw when the car was still moving and tried to see if it fits.

But there was no cat after the bushes or tress.

'There's nothing. Moreover, even the tress look like a mirage. Nonetheless, the animals are rare on this island, not to mention, a cat in the middle of it all.' I convinced myself as I started walking back to the car.

"Found what you were looking for, brat?" The doctor ironically asked as I slammed the door and sat my butt besides him on the front seats.

"Not really."

Usually, the doctor would've pressed me further or just would've plainly refused me when I asked to stop the car but even when I sat down and he started driving again, he was worryingly distracted by his own thoughts, not by driving. After all, he was the best at looking somewhere else other than the road while still driving perfectly, even better than if he would've stared at the road like he was glued.

"What's wrong?" In the dead silence of the car, I finally asked, thinking I broke the ice but the ice remained, strong and cold.

"Hmm?" Not paying any attention to me whatsoever, he continued to space out into his own world. I bit my lower lip in annoyance as I heard Cloud mocking me with Ryuu on the back seats because of my utter failure.

I wouldn't admit for the life of me, at least not yet, but those two already felt like part of our dysfunctional family.

"Don't 'hmm' me! I am your King for God's sake." I tried but I knew it wouldn't work. Knew that it would only annoy him but it would at least make him pay attention.

"Oh, your Highness, don't forget to get down from that throne once in a while if you care for that head of yours." He ironically smirked at me when he finished his sentence, moving the unlit cigarette from the left corner of his lips to the right.

"Besides being your King, I am also something which is way harder to be."

"Like what?" He asked with a twitched eyebrow, a sign that he really has no idea what I am talking about.

"Your friend, Rafael. So tell me what's concerning you."

I could feel the eyes of the ones behind us, both staring at me, begging for me to look at them and to smile and then say: I'm playing a role now. But I am not playing anything.

'It's the pure truth and I am not ashamed of it.'

"My friend huh…Well, if you waste so much space in that little brain of yours thinking about me instead of thinking about the possible holes in our plan, then I sure have a reason to be concerned. Don't you think?" He simply stated with the same ironic smile but this time, warmer. However, it was his own way of telling me what is concerning him so, I twisted his words and it turned out quite weird in my opinion.

"You think I am the one who's distracted?"

"You dare ask me if I'm only considering it? Ha! I am one hundred percent sure!"

"What? Why?"  
>Dumfounded of his belief, I quickly asked, though, didn't realize my normal, unconcerned self, wouldn't ever have said something without thinking about it first.<p>

"Well, since you just left your citizens and your army to take care of itself on its own and forced us all to help you save only one citizen which never brought anything to your Kingdom but troubles."

"You're not telling the truth. Naruto learned to fight in a short amount of time, he drove your car while you healed the citizens, so he pretty much has been a great soldier and also been a helping hand to the citizens."

"That' exactly what I am talking about! You've been blinded by this blond! He changed you! Look… Just imagine another soldier would've been captured, you would have left him to die! Never would've drank so much, never would've locked yourself up and never would've risked everything for only one life! When there are thousands left to be protected in your hands already! The army is just a façade, what keeps them protected is in fact you, and the pact with your brother! The one you're about to break by letting me drive you there! I am the hands that will lead you and your Kingdom to war!"

A horrible headache attacked me in the same time as his every word hit straight and deadly, with poison.

I knew the terms, I knew what I'm risking but I also considered my own side. A side a King wasn't allowed to consider.

He was right in his words, he was right and I was insane while all I could think about was in fact that I won't be able to protect anybody else if I can't protect the one I love.

Still, I had my hands full. Like always, from the moment I was born and conscious of it.

'I am not allowed to choose favorites. And all I can hope is that I can get in and out unnoticed, which it's pretty much an impossible mission.

"Listen." I started, still unsure of what I was about to say next. I massaged my temples out of frustration and covered my eyes with them as I continued: "I know what I'm doing. I just can't live while knowing I left him there. You know me. I just can't lose somebody, anybody, again…"

The car stopped in the middle of nowhere. However, not because we reached the destination but because the driver is about to snap. The only sign you can get from him when he's about to break down is when he throws his unlit cigarette. Even if it's unfinished, he's not throwing it the same. You'll notice for his hands are trembling from anger and his eyes are wider than usual. He gets pale and simply, unstoppable.

I stood corrected as he grabbed my neck with firm hands, hands that touched too many necks to enumerate and as a doctor, he knew exactly where to touch and squeeze so it'll hurt like hell.

And that's exactly what he does as I lose air and he spits in my face with every word:

"You spoiled brat! It all comes to your fucking pride, doesn't it? You just don't understand that you can't save everybody! Nobody can! Only God gives and only God takes! I am a fucking doctor! I live to save lives, I spent my entire life learning how to save lives, to be confident I have the best ways, but I wasn't able to save everybody! I was able to save somebody's lover, somebody's wife but I wasn't able to save mine! We don't own that luxury. You and I! And you know it! We're doomed! So why the hell? Why do you keep risking everybody else's wife and lover for your own?! Huh?!"

"Because just like you, I gave up trying to save lives when I lost the one I loved, what am I saying? I lost everybody I loved! You never even loved your family! So don't you dare judge me 'cause when I met you, Rafael, you were nothing but a quitter, nothing but trash hiding behind a tough face and attitude, pretending you don't know anything, pretending you can't do anything else but breathe because you couldn't live with yourself! You couldn't because deep down you knew that no matter how many people you save, you will never have another chance to save your wife! So now, kill me because here I am, having the chance to not quit and regret I couldn't do anything like you still do, able to risk everything while you didn't have anything else left to risk! It wasn't your fault; nobody can fight an incurable disease! But if I don't go now, if I don't do something now then this is my fault! My fault I stood back in my Kingdom, pretending to be able to protect them all when I don't even know them all! Look at them and ask for their sincere loyalty and undying love while I am not able to protect the only one I know and love!"

**The rest of the chapter:**

We were almost unable to catch our breathes, stubbornly staring in each other's eyes but panting so hard our lungs were protesting. However, we both stared at the one who talked next without complaining.

"Are you guys okay?" Cloud's voice held concern within, which made me realize what we just said, how we just acted in front of two complete strangers.

"I am. He's not." The doctor inquired as he changed his glance from the duo, to me and then in front of the road.

I continued to stare at the duo with an apologizing expression, but they seemed to be stuck in what happened in the last few minutes, in the show that just transpired before their very eyes.

They look stunned, or at least Ryuu did. Cloud just looks like he doesn't know what to do next.

"You will follow my plan. Whether you like it or not." From feeling ashamed, I started feeling angry. A joke in front of two people who used to be the soldiers of my brother.

My attention was completely directed at the doctor. So, I watched as he bit his lip, almost to draw blood. His quiet resolve and disapproval of my words but no matter what, he chose to stay silent and do as I say.

I was one hundred percent convinced of it when the car started again to lead us down a road only the duo heard about, and a road no one would want to drive on. No one would want to ever feel guilty about it; no one would want to feel responsible for.

Stubborn as I am, since the day I've been born. I refused to see behind its frozen features, icy glare and pale skin; underneath mean words, incriminating suggestions and subtle small looks thrown my way in the entire time he drove the car and forced his lips to remain tied shut.

Being so stuck in my thoughts that I barely noticed him or the never stopping discussion going on the back seats and the changing scenery.

From sand to pavement, from the burning sun to the night sky filled with stars that looked too beautiful to be real, like falling upon us attached to such marvelous strings that they are invisible to the naked eye.

Street lamps on the driveway and their insects dancing around the poor light making no sounds whatsoever; escaped my view as I found myself in the middle of nature and in the same time, not in it. I could only look up and feel like the sky weighted heavy on me, covered me, astonished me and left me breathless.

We are still on my territory, and there are amazing stars where I lived too but these are …different.

I was still out of it, or how my dear companion named me, 'distracted', by the miracle of nature and how I felt like it punished me with its own marvelous beauty. When the doctor finally pulled over and discarded his belt announcing with not such an enthusiastic tone that we finally arrived.

The duo looked around and I could see that even in the middle of the night, they still tried to recognize the place, see its familiarities fitting with their memories and the changes the place naturally got over time. Only when Ryuu smiled in one certain direction I previously had no intention on looking at, because we first were like in the middle of the road, just us and the car, while the left and right were covered in pure darkness.

However, I looked behind me after I stepped out of the car to see… houses, and if one that goes on the road, by foot or car, just looks around carelessly, like anybody else does in the give circumstances…that means being in the middle of nowhere, has all the chances to miss them for they're blended perfectly with the darkness. Not even one lit candle or a weak bulb into view, and no more streetlamps. As if the whole road exists only for these people to go unnoticed, unobserved, and practically inexistent.

"So, if you don't know there's something here, you can't see it? Am I right?"  
>I heard the doctor asking Cloud as he practically proudly nodded while I could only feel small and insignificant before the houses that could as well be endless, too many that got lost in the mirage, in the darkness that unfolded too far away for the human eyes. And I felt so bad about it because I am still the King…we are still in the dessert side after all, even with all the pavement, on each side of it, there's sand. But I never saw or heard anything about this community, never noticed though I remember traveling on this road at least once in the past, I've been blind. And I still am. I feel that if I stop blindly believing that here are…people breathing, living, mating and eating, they will all disappear for me.<p>

"Are they…real?" Doubt filled my words nicely but Cloud didn't nod proudly this time but looked at me with precautious eyes and only then responded:  
>"I am not sure. In fact, nobody's sure. Since they seem to be as old as time. However, there is a possibility they are, and a huge chance they're freaking not. Either way, if you believe they're here, if you believe in them, they will open their doors for you. Ryuu and I have been able to believe in them and when we arrived here, since our…last King has been searching for them from as long as we know him, and before too. Nevertheless, he's too proud to believe in their existence or just chose not to, even so, if we ever let our heart transform into stone and bring him here, he'd still be unable to see them. "<br>"Wait, what do you mean with 'if you ever let your heart transform into stone'?" The doctor asked.  
>"Believe it or not, this…community is covered in darkness, be it day or night." Ryuu answered with a genuine voice.<br>"I can see that." I ironically commented.

"So, to enter it, or to be like…accepted in it, become part of them, unseen by the rest of the world, or just…the normal world; somebody, a citizen, must take you in." Ryuu finished with a small smile as if nothing could be more fascinating than this.

"First time we came. We didn't see anything but we just…felt something was here. Then we came the second time, then the third time and in the end, at night, we just believed something is in here, and guess what? A house appeared, but only one from so many… and this little girl came to us, took our hands and led us inside her house. Before we knew it, there were millions of houses, people and animals all around us and we couldn't even see the road anymore."  
>"You're joking, right?" I asked, not so convinced I don't believe them for they looked straight ahead as if it happened yesterday. Though I realized that the only reason I can see them is that I am at least sure they're not insane, well, more or less. On the other hand, since I came here believing that real people are actually living here could be an important factor.<p>

But now, looking at what seem to be abandoned houses, I had the feeling nobody will take us in even if we know something is in there, even if we believe there is.

"Why did that girl take you in after all?" The doctor was wondering the same thing as me, but he said the words while I patiently waited for the answer.

Ryuu stared at Cloud and Cloud stared at Ryuu, but none of them said a word. In the end, Cloud looked at the doctor and with an obvious shame in his part, answered:

"The truth is…we never found out."

"How the hell? You've been here ages ago! Didn't you think about it?" The doctor didn't do anything but snap at him.

"We did, believe me, we thought about it, for years…but, we couldn't explain it ourselves. Because just like now, we saw the houses, but nobody took us inside. Just once. Even if we came years later, even if we stayed here for hours… nobody invited us, let us in…" Cloud defended themselves as he practically explained their own dilemma.

"So, you practically say we came all the way here to look at imaginary houses? To look at something that might be a mirage? To try and hope somebody wakes the fuck up, invites us to a nonexistent world while the blond gets killed, resulting in the King going insane and his Kingdom destroyed? That's what you're saying?"

"Chill doc. Maybe they don't want us two in again, but if there's a chance that they want either you or the King, well then we're fine, we'll all get in if one of us is fucking accepted."

'Back to the bad mouth.' I miserably thought as Cloud's sentence finally took its roll and its real accent.

"And what proof do you guys have that if one's accepted, everybody around that person is too?" I asked with no more patience.

Because nothing made the smallest sign that, something is there, that somebody is there and that what we are seeing is in fact real. But I didn't dare and it seems, neither Rafael, dare to just abandon the pavement and step on the weird sand, to just go to those houses, reach out and see if we can actually touch them, if the wind hits those walls and if we're being tricked or not.

We just stood there, watching wide eyed as Ryuu continued to talk in his way. Nevertheless, this time, his words were heavier than usual, and though I don't know him very well, I realized that Cloud seemed to feel the same; by the way he looked at him when he talked:

"Because that red headed girl only took my hand. But Cloud was also dragged into it."

"So…all we do now is to…basically, wait for miracles to slap us in the face?" The doctor all but mocked both of them with a calm tone but a demanding and ironic expression.

Cloud all but nodded while he didn't step back when Rafael stepped forward but seemed to put Ryuu behind him and protect him while the doctor all but lost his interest in them, going back in the car without another word.

For a second, I thought he'd leave us there and go back home by himself. But I was wrong, he just sat down and stared at the sky and even closed his eyes at some point.

They all seemed to feel relief for everybody stopped fighting. The duo turned around in a conversation of their own, one I was unable to hear and didn't want to know about.

'None of my business.' I told myself as I turned my glance away from them and then back to the dark abandoned houses.

Something greater than myself had me sitting down, on the dry pavement and had all three of them looking awkwardly at me for it, but I didn't care, I didn't sense their accusing glances. I only wanted to stare ahead, as my entire being waited. Waited for something to return.

Truth be told, I had no idea what or whom I waited for to return. I just did.

Back to yet another dark room, but placed in the interior of a real castle, there are no words being shared, no glances, either warm or cold, nothing supernatural but nothing normal either.

The man continued to put his entire anger into what should be another man, but now returned to being a boy, whom, has been so hurt that words weren't enough, screaming would be pointless for they wouldn't bring him any ease, feelings were too much and what was happening to him once again had him blacking out into a world of its own.

A world where he stood untouched and irrelevant to what happened around him, a world where nothing mattered, a world his whole being confined to as being safe and without pain. So, when he woke up, in a terrible place, with a horrible headache and with a defiled body. His reality became nothing more than a blank sheet. A sheet where he didn't know who he was, where he was and what was happening. And God knows that even if in reality…he did. He couldn't care less. He was done and ready to do nothing else but live a life where feelings didn't exist, memories were just people he'd seen in albums and he didn't care about them or himself, haven't been in those places, for he was just…breathing for the sake of breathing.

*' _But there were just two things I was sure of:_

_The first one: 'I don't know where I am, where I've been or where I am going.'_

_And the second one is: 'I will find out'_ *'

'I won't find out.'

To be continued…

**(New)AN2: **Oh, thank you so much for all the reviews (which will be answered in the next chapter because it's the...usual way, you people are the best! The reason why I tried though I had no time to write… I can't even say how happy I am and how sorry I am for this chapter is a bit short and so in between things happening but I just wanted to let all the good stuff to the next chapter for I have too many ideas and I want to decide what will happen when my head will be more sober (asleep, not drunk). Still, I am sorry because I said I'll update within this week but things in my life aren't doing so great, it's been hell…so, no time to write! Which I don't enjoy either but I hope the next chapter will be done for tomorrow and we'll get to the usual updates, either way, if you have any theory or wishes, feel free to tell me before I do the decisions for the next chapter. Like, what about those houses? Who should come out from it or what? Who's hand should it take\invite in? What about Naruto? What happens to the poor guy? Itachi? And so on and on.

PS: The poll is still on.

See you tomorrow. (I hope!)

**Answering reviews:**

For all of you, if I answering in the chapter bother any of you, tell me, and I will answer in a PM instead. But I had anonymous reviewers and also people who don't want PM's, so…yeah. Tell me anyway.

**inuyasha78: **Your chapter made me somehow proud for I realized how open a reader, that reads my story, which is great to me, is very open minded about what will happen next. I hope it's just not just you who thinks both good and bad, or too bad are allowed and realize that things like these can happen and will happen, and that no matter what happens it's okay if you're able to get up after. This is great. I found that you really opened minded by telling me, basically, with rape and without it, it's both good. I liked that. And I appreciate and respect it. I mean it. Also, thank you very much for reading and telling me what you think, I am in heaven every time I read your review.**  
>iPlayNaked: <strong>Well hello there and welcome, thank you so much for reviewing! And having a positive opinion about it and quite such a compliment…touched me to the heart since I don't think I am good at writing at all, I am so far from it…poor little horrible me. But still, thank you so much. I couldn't believe it when I read it to be sincere but I am glad you like my story, don't hesitate to tell me anything you want.**  
>uchiha hinata21: <strong>Thank you, once again. I said it once (or twice?) and I'll say it again. You can't even believe how much I appreciate it. Sorry though it's not the whole chapter, tried but not enough it seems…hope you still liked it though.


	31. Chapter 31:Melancholia

**AN1:** Well, a late hello, I know, and I am extremely sorry, not that you would've expected otherwise but I am still alive! I know what I said and I meant what I said, I am trying really hard to get back to the usual updates, as in, 1 update per Sunday but I once again have only half a chapter, I am currently experiencing one of my worst writers blocks since I can't write anything! I can't even think… I have a constant undying headache so I hope nobody will kill me in the near future since I am really trying here. I didn't write anything lately, not even a shopping list! Nothing, but this chapter…and it's still a half of it or …getting to the half of it.

So, I thought I'd be nice enough to let you know what's happening, or at least a bit, nicer than not posting anything and just letting you guess if I am dead or you wish I was… Once again, I am really sorry, hope everything will get better, but I can't promise anything, I can only say** I honestly hope **I will put the rest of the chapter until Sunday and that there will be a new chapter on Sunday but there aren't many chances unless some miracle idea hits me.

So now, on with the …short reading sadly:

**New AN1: **If you've read the first part of the chapter then you don't need to read it again, I didn't change anything than repaired a few mistakes here and there, you can skip it to 'The rest of the chapter' and read it from there. Hope everybody likes it. Thank you very much for the long wait, what's left to be said is in AN2.

_**From the last (previous) chapter:**_

_They all seemed to feel relief for everybody stopped fighting. The duo turned around in a conversation of their own, one I was unable to hear and didn't want to know about._

'_None of my business.' I told myself as I turned my glance away from them and then back to the dark abandoned houses. _

_Something greater than myself had me sitting down, on the dry pavement and had all three of them looking awkwardly at me for it, but I didn't care, I didn't sense their accusing glances. I only wanted to stare ahead, as my entire being waited. Waited for something to return. _

_Truth be told, I had no idea what or whom I waited to return. I just did._

_Back to yet another dark room, but placed in the interior of a real castle, there are no words being shared, no glances, either warm or cold, nothing supernatural but nothing normal either. _

_The man continued to put his entire anger into what should be another man, but now returned to being a boy, whom, has been so hurt that words weren't enough, screaming would be pointless for they wouldn't bring him any ease, feelings were too much and what was happening to him once again had him blacking out into a world of its own._

_A world where he stood untouched and irrelevant to what happened around him, a world where nothing mattered, a world his whole being confined to as being safe and without pain. So, when he woke up, in a terrible place, with a horrible headache and with a defiled body. His reality became nothing more than a blank sheet. A sheet where he didn't know who he was, where he was and what was happening. And God knows that even if in reality…he did. He couldn't care less. He was done and ready to do nothing else but live a life where feelings didn't exist, memories were just people he'd seen in albums and he didn't care about them or himself, haven't been in those places, for he was just…breathing for the sake of breathing._

_*' But there were just two things I was sure of:_

_The first one: 'I don't know where I am, where I've been or where I am going.'_

_And the second one is: 'I will find out' *'_

'_I won't find out.''_

**The new (actual) chapter:**

The wind blew while the sand danced along. The dark shadows and moon rays have been replaced with a burning pavement underneath sunrays. Besides the symphony of nature, nothing else could've been heard, not even miles away from a car which stood alone in the middle of the desert, or if you want, highway, or mostly just the only paved way. But even if that car was the lone existent object, no voices filled the void of the dessert, but only long exhausted sighs.

Chapter 31: Melancholia

"He died?" The redhead ironically asked the doctor from the front seats who looked so bored that nothing in the world could convince him to move at least a centimeter.

"Almost. Just one more day in the sunlight and we can officially commit suicide since the next King's first order will be to kill us all anyway." The doctor casually responded as he took yet another tiny sip of his alcoholic drink.

"How come you have alcohol hidden in your car but you hate the King for drinking?" Cloud asked as he sipped from his own drink with a small smirk on his face as Ryuu rested against Cloud's chest.

"How come? You brats listen here! Am I leading a whole Kingdom?"

"No." Cloud continued doctor's game since they were all bored as hell and they could use a good conversation since they didn't talk the whole night, and half the day.

"If I die, will all my citizens either be killed, or will either be turned into slaves?"

"But you don't have any citizens." Ryuu said further as Cloud kissed the top of his redhead with affection.

"Exactly." The doctor smiled in triumph as he took another sip.

"But you're cutting people, giving medicine and stuff…how can you do that correctly if you're drunk?" Cloud rambled on with the same smirk playing on his features but this time, the doctor turned around and looked into Cloud eyes as he talked:

"You brats! You really thought for a second that I would have the nerve to criticize somebody for not doing his job and drinking instead if I did the same thing? Well, you're dead wrong since guess what, I never drink when I work or before it. But be sure I never miss the chance to drink when I'm not working or about to work which is…pretty rare." He finished while he looked at the sky as if trying to recall the times he was one hundred percent sure he was free of duty and free to drink to his heart content.

"So, you're basically saying you never ever been drunk when you were working?" This time, Ryuu asked, being more sober than all of them, and also the only one able to think it through its real light.

However, the reaction of the doctor was one none of them expected. One of melancholia, resemblance or one of sadness. For he rested his back with a long sigh against the door and stared exactly at the young black haired man that has stood on the hot pavement looking ahead, at barely visible houses. That now, in the sunlight looked like a mirage to him even more than they looked at night and the more that they stood there, drinking and talking, the houses faded more and more for him.

"Once. I've been drunk when someone needed me, and since then I swore, I will never drink unless I am one hundred percent sure I can. And even when I am, I will never be able to drink enough to lose my head." The doctor talked with pain in his voice which made Cloud to follow his eyes and think there's something he wanted to know but the doctor didn't agree.

"Why? What happened?" Cloud asked, with the most honest curiosity and worry he actually really felt for the old man now.

"Sorry kid. It's not mine to tell." The doctor said, with a clear voice this time and a new smirk, as he threw the unfinished bottle in the sand. And after that, he refused to drink or talk. Not even one sip or word.

In other pair of eyes however, the houses didn't fade, quite the contrary. The houses seemed to have flowers on their clear shaped walls and tress blossomed before his black irises. Fountains with clear water and other details came into view as hours passed by. Soon, he could see shadows moving here and there, so he told himself he was yet to see the humans living in these houses. His mind also suggested he needed to be invited inside in order to see the people. But the theory was yet to be proved right or wrong.

Still, blue eyes saw nothing. They stared ahead at different forms and colors but it didn't tell him anything. He just couldn't comprehend. Moreover, it was this constant mewing that he continued to hear, like it screamed at him, begged for his attention but he simply didn't care. He also didn't even realize the exact moment when the mewing suddenly stopped or just gave up on a boy who stubbornly refused to hear.

"God, my back's fucking killing me." I heard Cloud as he stretched on the back seats, also waking up Ryuu in the process for the redhead slept on him. And I couldn't say I didn't agree that our bodies hurt like hell from sleeping in the car. I agreed further as I also stretched and on instinct, probably, looked at the one whom I expected to see sleeping on the pavement, because from the looks of things, it was night, again.

But instead, he was sitting in the same position, looking in the same direction but this time, something was changed in the whole 'insanity picture'.

"Am I the only one who sees a cat?" Ryuu asked us and also, himself. To which I nodded as I heard Cloud saying "Fuck, but yeah." Then, I tried to wipe my eyes with my own hands, closed them multiple times but nothing changed. The King brat stood with his back at us, while a cat also stood with its back at us. Both figures staring ahead.

"Why the heck are we so surprised to see a freaking cat?"

"You're kidding me Cloud? A cat in the middle of the dessert? Not to mention, standing in the same position as him, it's weird!"

"Well yeah, it is but hey…" Cloud made a pause to which I thought he's thinking about something, though I had no idea why I couldn't take my eyes off the King brat or off the cat but still listened every word they said.

"What if this cat is what invites the King inside?" Cloud finished his idea and somehow, in the dead of the night, as the houses started to have shape again, I opened the car, stepped out of it as the duo called out to me and used it as an excuse to follow me while we longed to get there, to see what he's seeing. And when our steps finally reached the same lines as the King brat and the cat are on, we looked at them and they looked back at us, as if saying:

'Took you long enough to wake up.'

Blue eyes were covered by a thick fog as they looked up at something, and yet, at nothing. He felt within his very core that something was happening, that something announced him that something was happening somewhere and that he should feel grateful for it. But for the life of him, he couldn't tell what. And he also didn't want to know after all. Either way, he felt for at least one second somehow…safer, or just a bit more…warmer, but it only lasted a second, and then, as soon as the feeling arrived, it was gone.

"Fucking unbelievable."

"You said the same thing last time, Cloud."

**The rest of the chapter**

Even if Ryuu's words were mocking Cloud, he too stared ahead at the miracle he witnessed for the second time in his lifetime and watching it with brand new eyes and with such childish curiosity that his eyes sparkled in interest as he savored the view before him.

However, their astonishment was nothing compared to the stupor the doctor and the King were going through in the same time. For this unexpected wonder left them breathless, with the instinct to let their mouth hang open but they resisted it as the cat moved forward, leading them to God knows where.

What they saw was indeed something incredible and even though, it's just a normal place that could be anywhere in the world, it was in the middle of the desert, on a doomed island that stood above the water which gave the place a special twist which amazed them all.

Since even the pavement, itself looked like it was handmade with its simple but oh so beautiful texture and pattern. The streetlamps stood high and elegant, while the blocks looked old but marvelous. It was as if they turned back time and the people dressed in the old worshiped fashion proved them right but also wrong, there were people that weren't dressed according to the whole theme this forgotten city seemed to have adopted, people who looked like they just arrived from the 21 century from New York refused it completely. Therefore, they were both confused about where they really were and more about, when this actually took place.

The cat however looked like this place was as small as a room for its paws walked on the designed pavement with its feline grace, somehow, after a while; they realized they were getting further and further, and deeper and deeper into this whole mirage, very far away, from what they thought it was a 'city'.

The pavement disappeared, and was soon replaced with sand, earth and dirt. Their mind processed enough to realize it's the 'countryside' of things but the question why the cat is leading them to the old but comfortable looking houses arose like a red flag in their still numb minds.

Still, this side was more different than the sophisticated town by far, not only the poverty that seemed to embrace the whole place that looked endless but the children played happily all around them, the women smiled happily and the men looked healthy, hardworking but also…strangely happy, and content to who they are and where they are. While in the town, all bunch of people seemed to be stuck together between four walls, even when outside, with styles that did not match, along with their personality since nobody was talking to nobody.

At one certain moment, one second before they were all about to snap though they didn't even realized how many miles they've walked without making one single sound, the cat stopped walking but sat down in front of one particular house and started cleaning itself as if praising herself for doing a good job.

The house wasn't very different from the rest but in the same time, it had a different aura. They weren't sure but they somehow felt that the person, or the people, living in it weren't the same as the rest since nobody stood in front of the house doing housework or reading a book like everybody else. They all seemed to be outside their houses, enjoying their simple lives to the fullest. This house however, didn't look like anything but a nice plain cell.

"A… I am not sure about this." Ryuu was the first one to talk, voicing everybody's thoughts aloud.

"Who the heck is living in here?" Cloud asked as if his own thoughts got outside his head without any reason but maybe even if none of them admitted, they all wanted to make sure it wasn't a dream or that they either have gone insane.

"How the hell would I know? We just knock on the door and see whom. Stop asking stupid questions." The doctor snapped or at least wanted to snap but it got out like and inexpressive sentence with no venom in it, and also somehow out of place since Cloud didn't even look at him when he talked.

All four of them were starring ahead at the house. Closed windows with blinds to cover, so they couldn't see inside, they could only see the walls covered with vine, just like the rest of this place, somehow oddly filled with vegetation even in the middle of the dessert.

'This island isn't normal.'

I thought as I ran a hand through my black hair, closed my eyes and exhaled loudly, took one-step forward and then the second, until I stood alone in front of the front door. I looked behind to see all three of them staring at me, waiting for me but I refused to go inside alone, no matter who lives in this house.

"Oh, what the hell."

I heard the doctor mumbling, as he took the necessary steps and soon stood behind me, and as I stared in his eyes searching for approval and seeing the duo approaching us with the corner of my eye, Rafael pushed me with its eyes and raised an eyebrow to determine me and continue to knock on the damn door.

This was exactly what I did next.

"In a minute." The voice of a man yelled distracted as I assumed he approached the door but nothing in the world could've prepared me to what was about to happen next.

As I always thought, the brain has a mechanism that protects you enough in order for the one who owns the brain to keep what he has left of its sanity in a critical situation, or just when the owner is about to have a shock. For when I heard his voice, my brain didn't recognize the familiar voice that haunted my dreams too many times to count or maybe, just refused to recognize as his face and living body stood in front of my eyes just as traumatized as me.

_*' His pale, slim but strong hands moving with grace but also with accuracy with the shovel as He dig deeper and wider into the ground which looked like everything but absolutely not wet at all. It's still a dessert. That, I can realize. While I am once again on the dusty grounds, now with my feet and not in some car, in the middle of the dessert, where as I see, a fight or war took place. But even though there are many dead people around and cars still burning but far away, the smoke rising to the sky which looks as if nothing had happened on this earth, like nothing can touch it or affect it in any way. His tall body moved quickly, but never lost its grace, not even when He stopped, didn't look at us, but kneeled on the dry sand of the dessert to close the eyes of a dead man. He carried the body with care and gentleness to his grave.*'_

"You?" The only words I could muster, without even thinking, without even wanting and without even realizing.

_*'To look once again at Him, as he carefully places the body inside the hole, then stands and closes His eyes, as they all do, praying for the lost soul.*'_

I thought I will faint, or that he will faint. I just felt that somebody should faint in this situation but nobody did. We just stared at each other wide eyed with a wicked feeling nobody could ever describe. It wasn't a bad feeling but it wasn't a good one either. It just was. Something combined with a headache, a heartache and a pain so subtle and so strong, as if somebody just hit me in the stomach and I was about to throw up or cry. One of the two.

'Noah.'

This lone thought or just one single name I refused to think about for years, I refused to realize even when I dreamt him, I refused to even give voice to this name since that night, but now, it infected my very veins and it stood on my tongue like a burning flame waiting to be extinguished. Which meant, saying it, or just whispering it, just admitting it existed while the body of the one who wore the name for his entire life stood in front of me, breathing.

His peach colored like lips parted only to be glued once again in a silent line, as everybody waited for me to say something. Though I was sure Rafael was as stunned as I was while the duo had no idea who the guy was, or at least, I thought they didn't know him until the big mouth of Cloud said the name I so refused to acknowledge. Even if, the logic was that even if the name wasn't spoken ever again, the said person, in bones in flesh was proof enough of its solid existence.

"Noah? You're Noah?"

More than stunned, his voice almost trembled as he spoke. While the said Noah only nodded his head in affirmation as he scanned our eyes, our bodies, and I saw recognition as he watched us from head to toe.

'He remembers us.' While in the back of my head, I slapped myself with the logical argument: 'Of course he remembers us, even if the guy is dead, that doesn't mean he's been brainwashed.'

As my thoughts tried hardly to explain or contradict one another. His reaction woke up all four of us.

He turned around and closed the door after him without another glance or word.

"You must be kidding me brat!" Rafael screamed for he was as upset as I was, or probably all of us since it seemed that the duo also knew him, but after all, if we'd been in his situation, wouldn't we have done the same? After all…

'We killed him Rafael. You and I, in that damned night.'

*'_It rained all day, since morning to night and even in the middle of the night, it didn't stop the clouds from crying and screaming with its thunders, echoing in the walls of the underground house even if it doesn't have any windows._

_I paced around the place with my hands crossed at my chest, switching without stopping from anger or worry, maybe both. For Noah has been gone all day. And it wasn't the first time he suddenly disappeared before I woke up. Still, it was the first time he's been gone for so long._

_When I first met him, he was a smiling brown haired boy, almost blond, with eyes of a turquoise that the most precious rocks should be jealous of. His slim but elegant silhouette never helped him at being a good fighter, quite the contrary. He was horrible, barely able to hold the sword but his intelligence and speed convinced me to train him and take him under my wing, stubbornly convinced I will make him one of the best of my soldiers. Which he soon become after just months of Spartan training. _

_However, as smart as he was, he was as cheerful and easy going, his laughter was lauder than any I've heard before and like a melody for the ears, his good nature was a blessing and also a curse. His pure heart made me fall in love with him right after I fell in love with his looks. Still, what made us fight was sadly, his good heart. He always disappeared and came back with injured animals or helping a stranger who fainted because of the heat. _

_I adored him, and even if I would scream at him for hours, trying to convince him to take care of himself too, not of others, I still liked him for his heart was that of a saint. _

_However, his white heart has turned mine to black._

_I wanted to believe in him since we've been together pretty fast after we've met and lived in the same place, slept in the same bed and ate at the same table. But though he was so affectionate and loving, something always hurt me in a manner I could never voice. His eyes would lose focus on me and his mind would think somewhere else even when we'd make love. That always made me angry and jealous for I felt I wasn't the first in his heart. I was jealous even on the strangers he brought to help or animals to heal._

_Never would I have snapped at him more than the usual but then, that particular day was different, that particular night was made to bring misfortune._

_And as I waited one whole day and in the night, I saw him coming down the stairs with no expression whatsoever and no guilt on his features, I broke down._

"_Where have you been?!" I screamed but he paid no interest to my pain or anger. He was in his indifferent state, which meant that he had no care for me, maybe only if I would've had a missing leg or a fever, then, he'd spare me a second glance._

_Nevertheless, as he moved past me and thrown himself on the couch, he barely looked up at me when he answered, with no worry in his voice about my possibly violent reaction._

"_I walked around all day; I needed to get outside, because I just couldn't stand being locked up in this house." _

"_And it would've killed you to leave me a note to tell me where the hell you are?!" _

"_Humph." _

_He continued to ignore me, he just didn't care how I felt. And in the moment one thought passed through my already troubled mind, that was it:  
>'He took me for granted.'<em>

_His whole energy was occupied with other's people problems and health, being liked by strangers and loved by grannies but I was always second, I was unimportant and only loved when too angry, or too hurt since I loved him. And it seemed that if I loved him and that if I was healthy, I wasn't in his top priorities, or at least the second ones. _

'_That…hurt me the most.'_

_What happened next was what I'd regret for the years to come, what I'd pray to forget every night before I'd fall asleep and have a nightmare with the same scene repeating over and over again._

_When he would stretch his hand to get something from the table, probably a book, and then I'd catch that hand in a tight grip, so tight that it would hurt him enough to look at me, in my eyes and see them red. _

_He'd have his lips parted as he gets up from the couch, with his hand still hurting from my grip, and he'd look me in the eyes, and with the free hand, he'll touch my cheek, as if trying to calm me down or to check if I am real. _

_I'd see his eyes filled with doubt and fear, as I'd barely hear him complain about how I am hurting him._

_He'd fall on his knees before me and I'd stay down with him. Never hearing the knocks on the exit door, or Rafael's drunken voice, not until we'd finish our fight. I'll slap and punch him, while he'll try to run or just defend himself, failing poorly. Then he will fall and hit his head by the corner of the kitchen table, and blood would dirty his caramel hair. _

_My red eyes would get soaked in tears, and only then, I'd look at the kitchen's entrance and see myself in Rafael's eyes. See myself soaked in Noah's blood, with red tears falling from my eyes as I cry to him:  
>"Help me. Help him. Save him Rafael." '*<em>

I cried to him but even though Rafael says otherwise, even today, even if he was awake, there was no way he could've saved the broken head of Noah. There was no human way he could've but he still regrets and still blames himself because he wasn't able to save him, or save me from hating myself for the rest of my life.

The same young man hides himself after a closed door. Now alive, despite the fact that I remember the day I buried him as if it was yesterday.

Though I cannot explain how he's alive or how this whole world can exist, I still remember what I said to Naruto when he tried to find out why I loved or hated Noah.

*' "_You…loved him?" _

_"I did, but then I hated him." _

_"Why?" He asked._

_"Why I loved him, or why I hated him?" I said almost laughing._

_"Why you hated him?" _

_"He betrayed me. Now that you know, you can make sure you won't do the same mistake he did, no?" '*_

'Yes, the man with the pure heart has never been completely mine. Since he already gave his heart away to my brother.'

And after I found out, sometime later that he's been selling me to my brother since the first day he arrived, I tried to hate him, I desperately tried to hate him but then I realized I would've done the same. He was clearly in love with my brother and his ignorance wasn't part of his plan or my brother's plan to fool me but he was pure enough or good enough to feel so guilty about it that he wasn't even able to look me in the eye. The times he would take care of me, as if I am his son is how he tried to say he's sorry.

'I don't know with what willpower I accepted Naruto to live with me, since he could as well be another spy sent by my brother. Moreover, since they were so much alike. Their angelic looks and pure hearts…the same thing was repeating itself all over again, but I just knew, and I still hope to this day that I haven't been wrong. Because from the first second I saw Noah, I couldn't trust him. However, in the second I looked into those blue eyes, I knew Naruto isn't able to lie. It's not in his nature. So, I admit I tested him a couple of times, I flirted with him so many times that he should've get the hint. That I am madly in love with him and he could've just asked me about every single thing I did or planned to do with the army, but he never asked. Moreover, Naruto was able to look straight back into my eyes. '

I blinked it away, and stretched my hand, stopping Rafael from approaching the door and trying to bring it down.

And this time, I was the one talking: "Pay your debts, Noah."

To be continued…

**New AN2: **So, what do you think?:D Sorry, for all the delays and all that, we're back on track and back to one update per week, so …see you next Sunday! This time, for sure! I got over my writers block!

**Answering reviews: **Oh, you people kept me alive! I swear!

**Cassy: **Well I can't but say that once again you are right! And I am very pleased to see that you still like it though it's brutal, you realize things like these can happen, it's real and you must've noticed I don't like the 'puffy puffy rosy stuff:D' if you get what I mean. And more powerful chapters will come! We're still in between until now but I prepare something for you guys, just you wait:D things will get better…or worse… ( evil, I know) I don't know about that climax but we're getting there, we wil, I hope. Thank you very much for reading and for commenting, it's encouraging me a lot, I hope I'll be able to get back on track. Wish you all the best.

**uchiha hinata21****: **Oh, thank you so much once again. You make me smile every single time.

**inuyasha78****: **Oh, so sweet! Thank you so much for telling me all that, so much praise that you made me blush! : )) I totally agree with you, I am so glad we're on the same line, I try to be as realistic as I can though I have a bit SF going on here and there…I will never find out where that came from, I've always been a bit against it, as in, not writing it but reading it : )). Giving the unexpected to the reader is what I love to do and what I want to do, as a reader, I hate when things happen how I thought them they would happen, it's the most annoying so it's a huge compliment for you to say that I am unexpected, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I apologized then and I still do because I hate when I can't write, and I feel like when I said I'll do something, I need to do it. It's my job as a writer to give you, my readers something to read! I know how it's like to wait days on a row for a damn chapter so I hate it when I do it…however, I hope what will come will be enough to compensate with the late chapters. Thank you also for being so understandable. Well, I can't say this pretty much explain a lot but what will come will explain some things, hope you'll like it. Wish you all the best.


	32. Chapter 32:Can't kill the dead (1)

**AN1: **Hello! Here we are at the usual Sunday update! I think I am happier than you since I can't believe I am back on track! I'll talk to you more in AN2, as usually.

Thank you for reading, wish you like it.

_**From the last (previous) chapter:**_

_*'"Help me. Help him. Save him Rafael." '*_

_I cried to him but even though Rafael says otherwise, even today, even if he was awake, there was no way he could've saved the broken head of Noah. There was no human way he could've but he still regrets and still blames himself because he wasn't able to save him, or save me from hating myself for the rest of my life._

_The same young man hides himself after a closed door. Now alive, despite the fact that I remember the day I buried him as if it was yesterday._

_Though I cannot explain how he's alive or how this whole world can exist, I still remember what I said to Naruto when he tried to find out why I loved or hated Noah._

_*' "You…loved him?" _

_"I did, but then I hated him." _

_"Why?" He asked._

_"Why I loved him, or why I hated him?" I said almost laughing._

_"Why you hated him?" _

_"He betrayed me. Now that you know, you can make sure you won't do the same mistake he did, no?" '*_

'_Yes, the man with the pure heart has never been completely mine. Since he already gave his heart away to my brother.'_

_And after I found out, sometime later that he's been selling me to my brother since the first day he arrived, I tried to hate him, I desperately tried to hate him but then I realized I would've done the same. He was clearly in love with my brother and his ignorance wasn't part of his plan or my brother's plan to fool me but he was pure enough or good enough to feel so guilty about it that he wasn't even able to look me in the eye. The times he would take care of me, as if I am his son is how he tried to say he's sorry. _

'_I don't know with what willpower I accepted Naruto to live with me, since he could as well be another spy sent by my brother. Moreover, since they were so much alike. Their angelic looks and pure hearts…the same thing was repeating itself all over again, but I just knew, and I still hope to this day that I haven't been wrong. Because from the first second I saw Noah, I couldn't trust him. However, in the second I looked into those blue eyes, I knew Naruto isn't able to lie. It's not in his nature. So, I admit I tested him a couple of times, I flirted with him so many times that he should've get the hint. That I am madly in love with him and he could've just asked me about every single thing I did or planned to do with the army, but he never asked. Moreover, Naruto was able to look straight back into my eyes. '_

_I blinked it away, and stretched my hand, stopping Rafael from approaching the door and trying to bring it down. _

_And this time, I was the one talking: "Pay your debts, Noah." _

**The new (actual) chapter:**

There have been several wars in history; the favorites were the ones when women were involved. Quite the love triangle. Since love was a problem since the human has realized its own existence. Eva might've been the second one done but just like my mother says: The first one is the prototype, while the second is better, and improved. Nonetheless…everybody has an opinion, everybody is unique, and still, all humans. But still…who would've thought that a tiny little man could become the reason of a war? Who could've guessed?

Certainly, I didn't.

Chapter 32: Can't kill the dead (part 1)  
>"Noah! You have the obligation to tell me where I am! What is happening! After all, I am your King!"<p>

I continued to ramble about his debts to me, repeatedly. In the same time, pretending I never found out about my brother and him. Pretending I do not or more like, never felt guilty for his death or ever missed him. I knew it would make him angry enough to open the door.

'And then what?' I asked myself as I occasionally heard people whispering as they walked around us freely but still, stared at us, the strangers since, I think, it must be a rarity that somebody fights in here.

'I don't know where that thought came from.'

"You owe me Noah! You know you do!" I continued as I heard Rafael's smirking right beside me, but I didn't look at him. Though, of course, he figured out what I'm doing. While the duo are staring at me like I have two heads instead of one, since they probably know about him and their 'King'. For of course, where else in the world they could've met?

'How stupid of me! He was his lover and they were his soldiers! Of course they know each other…then why do I have the feeling there's more to this?'

"You son of a bitch!"

The door suddenly opened, or more like flew open, in front of me to reveal a blushing Noah. In other …special circumstances, he would've been as red as he is now. A side of him I actually found cute. Intoxicating, but now, he is angry enough to look like he's running a damn fever.

"Who the hell do you think you are? To come here and destroy me even after I died because of you! How dare you say I fucking owe you a flying shit after I saved your sorry white ass when I should have sold you out completely to the one I loved and lost, because of you! I might be dead but I might as well go to the freaking hell for all I care, I am killing you too if you continue to think, only for one second that I fucking owe you anything! But to break your head like you broke mine!"

'Ouch.'

He started panting after he screamed for what seemed like an eternity. However, it did ache a bit, but not because he's saying the truth but because he thinks that I really didn't felt sorry about all that happened. I was young and stupid, I didn't care if he loved my brother, though at that time I really didn't know about it. I really was selfish at that time; I only cared about myself then, only about how I felt. But after he died, I regretted every single second, from the first time his smiling face ever reflected into my black irises.

In the day he first came, more like suddenly appeared, he somehow gave away all the possible signs that he's a suspicious person, and that I don't have to let him join the army or ever enter in my life. That's another reason why the soldiers didn't want to take care of him after all, he acted as if his brain was missing and like he's made of plastic. But I was stubborn enough, and my 'sorry white ass' liked his ass so much that I actually convinced myself that it doesn't matter if he's suspicious or not. I wanted him, and it was enough. But he warned me, with his every breath, in that damned day, that he's up to no good. That he doesn't want to be in my presence and that he's forced to be here.

Only years later after the scene haunted me, I recalled it every day and every night… his expressions, his disgust of himself and the guilt…oh, the damned guilt that I had to taste myself too after he passed away. And after I suffered the best I could, what I say and look scream that I, for one hundred percent, didn't care and still in this situation, don't, though he has all the reasons to hate me, or kill me. Still, his very nature doesn't allow him to hate me, or anybody else. That I know, almost close to one hundred. But he somehow proves it to me now since that's the reason he's been yelling at me, blushing further and about to cry in front of me.

'Who would scream their lungs out if they don't give a flying shit about the person they're yelling at?'

So, I smiled. To save his soul, to prove he's right, and though he is and he isn't in the same time. It was enough for him.

Rafael though, didn't agree with my plan. Maybe because his white ass was involved too, either way, he didn't let me have my way.

"Stop acting, brat!" He smacked my head and then rested his hands on Noah's shoulders, looking straight in his eyes.

"He's just too proud to admit he's been suffering from the very second he realized who you really were. Or how much of a selfish moron he really was when he was with you. But he changed, he suffered just like you, maybe even more if it's possible, after you died. Trust me, it's a miracle he's still alive."  
>'Damn you.' I thought, defeated, as I looked to the ground instead of Noah's eyes that are filled with tears. Rafael's voice was filled with warmth though. A tone and an emotion I thought he only used for me, when he helped me, for he didn't give a damn about anybody else.<p>

'Guess I was wrong.' Though, I admit the old man has suffered too, he also paid his debts. I don't remember any citizen or soldier dying after Noah. Maybe just the ones who were as old as time. But that's it.

'He also took care of me…'

Without wanting, I looked ahead, to meet Noah's troubled expression. Somehow, I realized he knew something about the way I felt after he was gone. Something in me knew he already knows.

'Maybe that's why I acted this way. Moreover, maybe that's why he reacted this way! He wanted me to admit the truth. To say I am sorry I destroyed his life, and my own. Still, I wasn't able to do it. And I still don't feel strong enough.'

Nevertheless, he forgave me. In the instant, he closed his eyes, let the tears fall and wet the ground. The moment his sigh of relief caught my attention, or maybe just content that I really am a 'white sorry ass' as he said and there's nothing to be done about it.

"What are you all doing here, at my place?" He asked all of a sudden. As if nothing happened before. Totally declaring me no longer important, and as I parted my lips, he threw daggers at me. Daring me to say a freaking word. But I didn't. I didn't have anything else to say, at least not for now.

"We don't have really know why. The cat brought us here, and then to you…"

Ryuu said while looking totally confused about the whole situation.

"Come inside." Noah told us all after he looked around and noticed the stares of the parents who tried to calm their kids and convince them that nobody's killing anybody.

We sat down at a big table, in what looked like a really small but really comfortable house. He gave us food and told us to shut up and talk only after we eat. In addition, that's exactly what we did.

'We must look like hell if we didn't even had to tell him we didn't eat for a long time…'

"Look, Noah…" Rafael started just as Noah washed the dishes with Ryuu.

"Hmm?" He distractedly responded as he yet again took a plate and washed it.

"I want to say that I really am, honestly, hand on heart, sorry for what happened." I looked up from the ground once again to stare at Rafael who wouldn't look at me. His attention was on Noah. I guessed however, more like knew, that he wanted to apologize to Noah since that very day but I still didn't expect he'd do it since Noah only blamed me. Even I blamed only myself.

"What happened?" Looking dumbfounded, he asked somehow unsure if he should even ask. We were all somehow surprised of how the doctor's acting but it's about a patient and a friend he couldn't save, so we didn't act upon the surprise regarding his docile behavior.

"When you died, I was there. But I was drunk and I…I couldn't save you. And I am so… so sorry…"  
>Noah stopped washing, turned around to stare at Rafael. Who looked ten years older in my eyes…the pain and regret's written all over his face. He looks tired, exhausted, just like a man who ran a marathon for years and just now, he finished it. He's done. He has no power left, he barely breathes.<p>

"Thank you." Noah said with a smile I didn't expect.

'Maybe he was playing the same cards I did.' I weakly considered.

'No, he isn't.' I continued my thought as I stared at the most sincere smile.

"For what?" The doctor managed to say with a foreign, dry and barely audible voice.

"Because you didn't save me." Noah said and I was completely stunned by the turn of events, so much that I couldn't stop myself from talking.

"What?" My question came out as a whisper; however, Noah didn't get angry at me for talking, no one looked at me. Noah and Rafael connected in a way I couldn't describe. Like they were alone in the house, and they were both making light in each other's lives, feelings, or just about what really happened in that damned night. It was a situation of one who blamed himself for his entire life could only dream of.

'He's forgiven.'

"You never had to feel guilty at all! You shouldn't even have tried to save me in that condition…to dirty your hands with my blood. If anybody should be apologizing, then it should be me. I felt so sorry and so guilty because you felt guilty for so long! I am so sorry Rafael!"

Rafael's expression was priceless. He was more confused than I was. If that's even possible.

"Are you insane?" The doctor asked as he finally broke down. His head hitting the table in the same time with his tears. Noah approached the table and took Rafael's hands into his own, while also crying.

"I wanted to kill myself. Every single day, every single minute for selling him out, for pretending to be friends with people who were sincere while I was in fact, the enemy, the liar…the spy. Itachi never loved me, he proved it for he knew how I hated it, how it just wasn't my deal, so he was just using me, not caring how I felt, because he took me for granted, he knew I was in love with him. I lied to myself, knowing that I wasn't good at anything else but spying since I've never been a good fighter, a real soldier! But if he really loved me then he would've just let me be. I am really sorry for all the years you blamed yourself. If I wouldn't have died that night, I probably would've killed myself in the moment he would've fell asleep!"  
>He talked, cried and kissed Rafael's forehead. Whispering that he's sorry, too many times to enumerate. While I only assumed 'he' is me. And as my chest only got heavier, something hit me.<p>

"Wait! If you never intended to stay alive, why are you still hating me for killing you?!" I stood up from my chair as I screamed, and only then, Noah looked at me. Really looked at me, in the eyes.

'For the first time.'

"I don't hate you for killing me, I try to…" He started but the rest died in his throat, as his tears made him unable to speak.

"You're trying to hate me?" I pushed him to go further as my nails almost entered my flesh since my hands were now fists made of confusion and anger, at no one but myself.

"I try to hate you because you killed the one I love!"  
>"What the hell are you saying?! Itachi is alive!" I screamed, without knowing what I was in fact feeling.<p>

"No! He's not! He's breathing but he's in fact dead! And you killed him! You are the one who killed him!"

"What the hell are you talking about?!" I lost control. In the next second, my hand was on his neck and I was panting harder than any of them. I saw red in front of my eyes.

But as they say: You can't kill the dead.

"When you abandoned him! That's when you killed him!"

"Stop it, you Brat!" I heard Rafael, and I felt everybody's hands on me, trying to push me away or just take my hand from his neck but I couldn't stop myself. Couldn't stop from trying to suffocate him though, just then I realized, he's not breathing. But that only made it worse, the anger burned in my blood and fueled my eyes.

I felt them all pushing me, trying to get me away from Noah. But I didn't move. I couldn't be moved. I could only stare, from deep within my own self. While outside. It wasn't me.

I saw the door. And then I saw the road.

The moon above me, surrounded by smaller stars.

My footsteps echoing or maybe just my panicked heartbeat.

I saw myself running through the forest like a crazy person.

And I saw myself fainting, or maybe, just falling asleep.

Because right after, the same cat, which brought us to Noah, sat next to me and then, I started dreaming.

Or just…seeing things?

Both the darkness and the smell bothered me. The darkness of an unknown place and the smell of death, then I also realized the lack of fresh air. Eyes blinked at me from the void, then, getting used to the lack of light, I could see their mouths, ears, and then the whole face, and after that, the whole body. Many people, tied up, many of them upside down, most of them dead.

However, I stared in their eyes, and I couldn't read an emotion or just …life. They seemed to be as alive as a blinking and breathing doll. They all stared back at me indifferently, or they just stared ahead without even seeing me.

I tried moving my body but it seemed that I am incapable of doing so.

Then a door. I heard a door opening and then footsteps. Someone entered in the room we all stood in.

So I tried really hard to look in the direction the sound came from. However, I shouldn't have done it. The dark haired man soon stood in front of me and stared back at me with black eyes.

'Brother?'

I asked, panicked, and then… it all went black.

…

"You spoiled brat." I mumbled as I took yet another cigarette.

"There's no chance that we'll fucking find him in a whole freaking forest!" Cloud complained again, but still, continued to walk ahead, completely contradicting his words.

"What's with this island and forests anyways?" Ryuu asked me or Noah, or maybe both of us.

Since we're standing side by side, being stuck in our thoughts.

But I decided that I should start biting my tongue, don't ask if we're lost, because I am sure as hell we are lost. And ask something to keep me entertained enough so I don't go crazy 'cause I lost the sorry white ass again.

'Sorry white ass really fits him.' I thought, slightly amused as a cold wind carried the smoke of my cigar to my right while Noah mumbled something at my left.

"You worried?" I asked, somehow still insecure if I should ask him that, or just ask myself if I am blind, or dumb.

"We will find him. He couldn't have gone that far after all." He said to me, or just mostly convinced himself.

"Look, Noah, I know this isn't the perfect timing, but what the hell is this place? Everybody's dead here?" I asked, with a forced smile playing on my face.  
>"Yup." He responded, nonchalant. As my smile completely faded in that very second.<p>

"What do you mean 'yup'?!"

"You said it yourself. You couldn't save me from dying. So yeah, I am dead. Everybody here is dead."  
>"But how would that be possible?! What are you then? A zombie? Vampire?" I asked, and tried my best to laugh but it came out as a nervous annoying sound.<p>

He then stopped looking ahead, resting his glance on me with two tired lifeless eyes.

"Maybe ghosts or just… souls? There's no description saying what kind of animals are in this city Rafael. But why are you so surprised? You already knew this island isn't normal." He casually said as I was already thinking that maybe I might be currently sleeping in the car and this is all a dream.

"Be serious! It sounds impossible! Ghosts or souls' having their own town… is ridiculous."

His sigh confused me even more, and if I wouldn't have the cigarette in my hand, then probably it would've fell if it would've been between my lips.

"Yet I am standing right in front of you, not breathing. I know you're a doctor and you've spent your entire life trying to save people from dying, still, you've seen a lot giving their last breath in front of you but no soul come out of the body or anything alike. So, when you think of heaven or hell, you look at the sky or at the ground. However, is more logic that the heaven or hell, possibly both of them, are on earth. So, refuse insanity now by thinking this is like hell and heaven in one. The next place after life. One where living humans can't see you. Yet if you want, you can see us. "  
>He explained as if he talked about the weather.<p>

"How am I supposed to believe that? I don't even believe in afterlife!"  
>"There's a first step in anything."<p>

He continued to talk so calm and so indifferent of my astonishment that I was mentally slapping myself from thinking this is real… for a second though. And in that second I took my chance to apologize to Noah, though, I tried apologizing to him in all of my nightmares, but he never forgave me

"Look, we've got help." He pointed his finger at the cat which also brought us here and I blinked for so many times thinking that maybe I will wake up, but then I closed my eyes completely, pinched myself so bad that it turned red and only then, reopened my eyes. However, I still could see clearly, hear for sure, both Cloud and Ryuu who are some steps ahead, a cat and then Noah right in front of me.  
>My sigh was barely audible as Cloud called my name and Noah's, saying that we should hurry up and catch the cat, or we'll all lose it because we're walking like grannies.<p>

'I so quit drinking.'

To be continued…

**AN2: **So…done. I should say I'm sorry for it's not that long of a chapter but so many things happened in it I thought it's enough. I really want to hear your opinion about this one. What you understood and what you didn't. 'Cause I sure left some things hanging , I still want to know if I am going right or left (technically speaking).

So thank you very much for reading, see you all next Sunday.


	33. Chapter 33:Can't kill the dead (2)

**AN1:** Hello! This is the usual Sunday update, for I am back on track and it's going well in my opinion. I want to honestly apologize for not posting for a long time now but many things happened which stopped me from writing, personal stuff happened when I had internet and when I wanted to write…there was no internet. It's pretty stupid but it happened. All that matters is that I seem to be able to write again, I have a computer (laptop) and internet, and yeah, some new ideas for this story, I hope you'll like them. I didn't waste all this time, I thought about where this is going, the plot and characters and I am pretty satisfied with it until now. It's good news but you won't know until you read so, yeah…

Reading time now:

**From the last (previous) chapter:**

_"You spoiled brat." I mumbled as I took yet another cigarette._

_"There's no chance that we'll fucking find him in a whole freaking forest!" Cloud complained again, but still, continued to walk ahead, completely contradicting his words._

_"What's with this island and forests anyways?" Ryuu asked me or Noah, or maybe both of us._

_Since we're standing side by side, being stuck in our thoughts._

_But I decided that I should start biting my tongue, don't ask if we're lost, because I am sure as hell we are lost. And ask something to keep me entertained enough so I don't go crazy 'cause I lost the sorry white ass again._

_'Sorry white ass really fits him.' I thought, slightly amused as a cold wind carried the smoke of my cigar to my right while Noah mumbled something at my left._

_"You worried?" I asked, somehow still insecure if I should ask him that, or just ask myself if I am blind, or dumb._

_"We will find him. He couldn't have gone that far after all." He said to me, or just mostly convinced himself._

_"Look, Noah, I know this isn't the perfect timing, but what the hell is this place? Everybody's dead here?" I asked, with a forced smile playing on my face._

_"Yup." He responded, nonchalant. As my smile completely faded in that very second._

_"What do you mean 'yup'?!"_

_"You said it yourself. You couldn't save me from dying. So yeah, I am dead. Everybody here is dead."_

_"But how would_ _that be possible?! What are you then? A zombie? Vampire?" I asked, and tried my best to laugh but it came out as a nervous annoying sound._

_He then stopped looking ahead, resting his glance on me with two tired lifeless eyes._

_"Maybe ghosts or just… souls? There's no description saying what kind of animals are in this city Rafael. But why are you so surprised? You already knew this island isn't normal." He casually said as I was already thinking that maybe I might be currently sleeping in the car and this is all a dream._

_"Be serious! It sounds impossible! Ghosts or souls' having their own town… is ridiculous."_

_His sigh confused me even more, and if I wouldn't have the cigarette in my hand, then probably it would've fell if it would've been between my lips._

_"Yet I am standing right in front of you, not breathing. I know you're a doctor and you've spent your entire life trying to save people from dying, still, you've seen a lot giving their last breath in front of you but no soul come out of the body or anything alike. So, when you think of heaven or hell, you look at the sky or at the ground. However, is more logic that the heaven or hell, possibly both of them, are on earth. So, refuse insanity now by thinking this is like hell and heaven in one. The next place after life. One where living humans can't see you. Yet if you want, you can see us. "_

_"How am I supposed to believe that? I don't even believe in afterlife!"_

_"There's a first step in anything."_

_He continued to talk so calm and so indifferent of my astonishment that I was mentally slapping myself from thinking this is real… for a second though. And in that second I took my chance to apologize to Noah, though, I tried apologizing to him in all of my nightmares, but he never forgave me._

_"Look, we've got help." He pointed his finger at the cat which also brought us here and I blinked for so many times thinking that maybe I will wake up, but then I closed my eyes completely, pinched myself so bad that it turned red and only then, reopened my eyes. However, I still could see clearly, hear for sure, both Cloud and Ryuu who are some steps ahead, a cat and then Noah right in front of me._

_My sigh was barely audible as Cloud called my name and Noah's, saying that we should hurry up and catch the cat, or we'll all lose it because we're walking like grannies._

_'I so quit drinking.'_

**The new (actual) chapter:**

There have been several wars in history; the favorites were the ones when women were involved. Quite the love triangle. Since love was a problem since the human has realized its own existence. Eva might've been the second one done but just like my mother says: The first one is the prototype, while the second is better, and improved. Nonetheless…everybody has an opinion, everybody is unique, and still, all humans. But still…who would've thought that a tiny little man could become the reason of a war? Who could've guessed?

Certainly, I didn't.

Chapter 33: Can't kill the dead (part 2)

The forest was getting darker as we walked deeper and deeper, and something that I liked to call: the consciousness of the sleeper; seemed to make us blind and deaf enough to the dangers we might've been exposing ourselves in those very moments.

Secondly, when the returning point was out of question since we no longer known if we came from right or left, backwards or front, no signs to tell us when and where since they were all lost in our blurry minds just as the forest was also getting misty.

White thin smoke fogged the ground, the roots of the tress and our dirty shoes. But we didn't notice it; just saw it without really letting it settle in our drunk like minds, therefore deeming it normal and unimportant, as the air we're breathing. And since I've been a logical and rational person for my entire life, thinking it is my job as a doctor to be that way, I somehow failed to see or hear what couldn't be seen or heard.

No animals. Not even the tiniest insect or the most outstanding bear. Though in this island, and then right into a parallel world that I still didn't believe in, however tried to think about the ways the gears are moving and intersecting in it, I expected the most colorful birds and even an elephant. After all, no law applied other than maybe the plain old gravity.

The cat could as well be the only animal I've seen. And in my mind, it could as well be a substituent for all the missing ones. After all, the human's mind is so easy to fool. You can desire to eat something sweet so much that your mouth is watering, and even if you're on the strictest diet or diabetic, especially then, you'll still take a bite and though you don't realize it, the moment your mind is satisfied, the stomach doesn't complain because after all, the stomach was never involved in your hunger at all.

We walked like we're marching at a parade. Like zombies just woken up from their graves. As the cat leads us all to, maybe, nothing more than death for there's no life in this forest, there's nothing but huge old trees and fog.

When we finally stopped, I had to blink countless times for my mind to realize or just see where I am, where we all are.

Cold air filled my lungs.

As my mind finally opened its invisible but nonetheless existent eye, ears could hear again and skin could feel. In fact, my first reaction was that of my feet, declaring strongly enough for me to understand that I walked a lot. Maybe whole miles, for God knows how many hours, without stopping and without even realizing. The second reaction was to see with wide impressed and horrified eyes as my own breath took form in the air, dirtying it. Then the cold, feeling like I am about to freeze in any minute and drop dead right on the…snow?

"Why the heck are we here?! And how the hell did we get here?!" As always, Cloud was the first to speak and also, the first to swear. And no one answered him but I think we all agreed within that he voiced our feelings and thoughts perfectly.

I couldn't move, but it wasn't just me. No one seemed to be able to move a finger. And we could blame it on the muscles contracting and screaming, now that they can do that again, but I think we all knew it was mostly because of the scenery that spreads wide ahead, without having an end, or so it seems.

Cloud spoke, or yelled, but didn't move. However, Noah did, seeming the most less impressed but with an expression I couldn't quite recognize, though I can't say I was able to be very attentive at him. I was only when he bowed down at the cat which started licking herself once again, congratulating herself for doing a good job once again. Bringing us in another world once again, seemed she didn't know how to bring us to a normal place at all. Or she just lacks the intention, messing with us.

"The King's in there?" Noah asked with the most calmest and clearest voice as possible, not showing any emotion in expression or voice, as he asked the cat. Who to my surprise, or any normal person, stopped licking herself and looked up at his face, seeming to be listening very attentive to Noah.

"You're asking the cat!" Cloud screamed once again, speaking our thoughts out loud, but Noah and the cat ignored him and our glances completely.

And what happened next was a completely different story.

The cat moved her head from right to left, mimicking: No.

We ignored the possibility of having gone insane.

Noah got up, facing straight ahead at what looked to be a blanket of white untouched heavy snow. Trees that looked old and dead were everywhere, the only ones that were green were the pines that were also too many to count, glancing from where we came from, probably the forest we first walked into that was green, with all kind of trees and definitely not dead or frozen, but now it's filled with the same vegetation. A forest of pines and dead trees.

And I had to blink several times and to pinch myself even more, to convince myself that what is ahead, way further than the place we're currently standing is in fact just a house, not a castle.

'But it sure as hell looks like one.'

"What is that thi…?" I started with an annoyed voice but then I got a clearer view of them all. They weren't surprised or impressed, they were …nostalgic. All of them, while I was the only one astonished.

'Now that I think about it, Cloud asked: Why are we here? And how did we get here? And not: Where are we? Not to mention that Noah only wanted to know if the King's in there, nothing else, as if saying: I don't want to go in there again if I don't have to. Damn. I hate being the only one not knowing my way around.'

"That's it. You brats tell me where I am. You all look like you're seeing the house of your dead bitch of a mother, so spill it out."

Noah looked at me, fixing me with his eyes, clearly arguing with my sentence, as the duo ignored me; though I got that the argument with the word 'dead' isn't quite as funny for him, being in his situation.

"You don't know this place?" He asked me as I puffed, leaving traces of my breath in the air once again.

"Hell if I know where I am. We're still on that other world, no? Since I've been living on this island for about half my life and it never snowed this much! It's like we're at the North Pole in here… and it's supposed to be a tropical island for God's sake!"

He completely didn't look satisfied with my answer for he scowled as he talked to me. His voice obviously stating a fact, well, for him. For me, it all could as well be fiction.

"We're not in the other world anymore Rafael. And we're still on the tropical island. But as you know, though refuse to acknowledge now, there are three sides that split and complete this island. You've lived on the warm side, often traveled to the abandoned city which is in the middle and now, you're on the winter side. The side where your King is no longer 'the King'. And you can suspect who's the 'King' in here. And of course we look at it like it's the house of our mother! We've all spent good years of our lives in here; we've all been his soldiers as you already knew if I recall correctly. I don't know about them but I never thought I'll ever return to this place, not to mention…dead."

He almost spit me with venom at the half of his explanation but he calmed down at the end, looking rather content with it all, or just, melancholic.

I refused to back down though he's right, I knew all that he said, but it just didn't connect. It's too much after all, other worlds, other sides of the same island, the cat and the forests, dead people or souls…pure insanity.

Still, the conversation seemed to come to an end for him, as he continued to stare with a sad face at the white view and now for sure, castle. So, I was stuck staring at the three of them. And too soon, my brain started functioning again for as a doctor, or just as a human, I had to notice and say it out loud.

"I can see my breath and theirs, but you don't…" I started and stated since it was something that caught my attention. Noah doesn't leave any traces of his breathing in the cold air. And it should be logic since we should all know he's dead, or I should. But it still seemed impossible and unreal.

His sigh still didn't register in the air. "You sure changed Rafael, or at least, grew older. You used to be a quiet, collected man but now you're impressed by something as simple as this. Or maybe you just don't want to believe in anything else but rational, logical beliefs which is how you've lived and been forced to believe in for your entire life. But you have your so dear needed proofs in front of your very eyes. So just stop questioning or doubting what's happening on this island. Could you do that, at least, for me?"

His words, warmer than the weather, and his hand, colder than the snow itself, as it took mine and rested it against his chest, his heart which is …not beating. I stared back at endless, lifeless eyes that stared back at me with love, and I couldn't but close mine as I almost screamed by realizing he's the only one that also doesn't tremble at this temperature. This is logical if I think that he's dead and that's only…normal.

My sigh dirtied the crystal clear air.

"Do I have another choice? Seems that impossible things happen right in front of my very eyes without me believing in them anyway, so how could I refuse you? I'll doubt everything in my head and spare you the trouble of explaining the obvious to me. Happy, Noah?"

He smiled and nodded. And then brought my hand which is warmer than his, though it's way colder than the normal temperature of a human, given the weather condition, and he kissed it. With lips that didn't lose their color, only their warmth.

I had to mentally convince myself not to pull away, being the natural instinct that anybody would get in the situation. His smile only got wider and brighter when he realized I resisted it.

"We're not going back there." Cloud suddenly said, his voice, that of a mountain that can't be moved, his decision so firm and so solemn.

Both I and Noah stared at them with confused eyes. But saw their hair and scarf trembling along with their bodies, in the beat of the wind, both still staring ahead and not at us. Looking not terrified of the place, but disgusted of it.

"The cat bought us to Naruto, since Naruto's in there, we know that. But Naruto is there because of us. No. He's there instead of us, he released us from the prison that they call the 'King's' castle. He offered us a new life and freedom. To release ourselves and forgive ourselves for lying to each other by thinking we were on the good side, that we rescued those citizens and that our 'King' didn't kill them if they were good, or didn't keep them if they were evil."

Ryuu continued after Cloud stopped.

"He offered us a second chance and we would throw it away by going in there, by getting killed when he probably witnessed horrible things in there because of us. We'll do anything it takes for him to be saved because we can't live while knowing that we've let him die as a price for our freedom. We owe him our lives. But we also can't get in there. We promised him we wouldn't…"

"I understand." Noah said and I nodded.

'Wait, when we decided we'll get in there by our own? Without the brat King? Without support? An army, or weapons or just… something?!"

"After all, we must find his King too. That's what we were doing, that's where we were going!" Noah yelled at the cat that looked right back into his eyes, as if saying: I know, you human. But you go where I want.

'His King? Meaning my King? Meaning the brat King? To hell! Can't anybody have a normal job on this island? Or at least, be just one freaking brat King, not two stupid ones!'

"So we go and search for the King?" Ryuu asked as if not sure, and his tone confirming it in the same time. To which Noah nodded in affirmation.

"But how? You can't get in without the cat. After all, you all entered because of his King…and we have no idea where Naruto is, even if I know the castle as the palm of my hand, I have no idea where he might be, it's a huge place, with so many passages and corridors… soldiers and murderers…I can't die again but what about Rafael…"  
>'He first says 'his King' again and now he's talking like I am not here, damn it , brat! Seeing me dead already too, me! A doctor!'<p>

The cat looked at both parties waving its tail in the snow, from Cloud and Ryuu and then to I and Noah.

"How about we all go back and search for the King, take more dead people and weapons and only then go after Naruto?" I suggested, pretty convinced it's a good idea, a safer one too. But I was ignored. Even the cat stopped looking at me.

"So be it, you two take the cat, since you need it more than we do. I know the castle already, and where the soldiers are, so it'll be piece of cake, the only problem is that it will take a lot more time without the cat, but without that, there's no problem. But you two can't find his King in a never ending forest, not to mention enter the world without it so you really need it more than we do. It's settled."

All three nodded their heads and the cat finally decided, or just understood Noah for she got up and walked to Cloud and Ryuu. Choosing their side.

"Are you all insane?!" I asked, completely outraged by all of them, even the cat.

And this time, they all paid attention to me, the cat too.

"Didn't you hear me?! Why can't we just make a plan instead of just waiting for a miracle to happen?!"

"We just completed the plan." Noah plainly responded as if it was the most sure thing in the world.

"That's not a plan, that's a death wish! And it's not even for you but for me! Why can't we just take them all in order instead of separating and doing them all at once?! There's no way we find the dumb blond in a whole castle! He might as well be dead, while the brat King is alive! Or not! Since we wasted so much time getting here and talking nonsense!" I was out of breath at the end of my rant, while they looked calm and so confident of their plan.

"If Naruto was dead, the cat wouldn't have bought us here. And if she decided that Naruto is in greater danger right now than your King then that's what's happening."

Noah explained, once again using that 'matter of fact' tone.

Even for me, it was pretty obvious that the cat isn't normal, that she's maybe, the only animal and not to mention, traveling between worlds, understanding our language and leading us like she knows the whole island better than anybody on it. Still, I have a pretty hard time trusting a cat that might as well be searching for food in this entire time!

'I don't trust my own explanation.'

The cat suddenly looked up at me, and I don't even know why I was attentive at it when I was so caught up in my thoughts and had no intention to look at it. Without any clue, still, I stared at it as it stared back at me, as if talking and deeming me stupid, keeping her back, stopping her plans.

'As if…'

"Rafael, just…come with me and shut your trap." Noah said these words, and without knowing why, I just did.

Deep within knowing that there's sense in their plan too, there's the substance that resonates, judging that it might work along with a real improbability that everything will work out well.

'After all, when does everything works out smoothly? For one hundred percent?'

So I swallowed the rest of my anger and contradictions, the lump in my throat as I watched Ryuu and Cloud walking in the direction of the pine forest leaded by the cat. While Noah started walking in the exact opposite direction, the snow covering half of his body only after a few mere steps, but I was still looking at the duo and the cat walking away and I continued to stare until they disappeared. Just like that, after making less than four steps into the pine forest and they were gone. And I was somehow sure the cat wanted for me to see that, proving that she's not normal and that I should just accept all of the supernatural beings and invisible worlds from this island before I walk into the nest of its vipers. The black core of it all, the shadow of the sun and the worst of them all, the most powerful supernatural being of them all. For, taking the illogical into consideration with logic, the cat could as well scratch and bite the 'King' to death if she could. No?

'The younger brother has red eyes, maybe this one has a third eye or hand… heck if I give a damn about him. I should be the one rescuing the King brat, I am his friend, his doctor, his soldier…. Not those strangers, but then why I let them go and save him?…when I was against saving the blond in the first place, I was more for the brat King to stay home and lead the Kingdom…damn, if Him getting lost isn't the proof that I was right and that he should've stayed home then I don't know how much proof do I need.'

"Rafael!" Noah screamed with a really threatening tone for I still didn't move an inch.

"Coming, brat." I mumbled as I turned around, not looking at the pine forest anymore but at the snow and too far away, the castle of hell. I touched my pants and found the pack of cigarettes, I took one out, and I lit it and let it dirty the air from between my lips. And then, I also took the tinniest pistol that was besides the cigarettes and changed its place, somewhere that's fast and easy to take out.

'You brats, will be the death of me…eh, what the hell…' I threw the still burning cigarette into the white deep snow, and it continued to take beautiful shapes in the air, but not for too long. For soon, the snow swallowed it.

….

"Brother! Brother! Brothe…"

I woke up at the sound of my own voice. I probably yelled so loud that I woke myself up, maybe, I don't know. I feel pretty much disoriented and I have no idea where I am. The hard ground hurt my whole body, for it was really hard to get up which led me to the conclusion that I might have been standing on it for a long time now.

I tried to recall what I saw and why it made me say a word I despised from the bottom of my heart, but I just couldn't remember. In fact, I realized these aren't the only memories I can't recall. I had no idea how I arrived into this unknown place, not to mention when.

As I looked around, from the look of things, it's a forest. Probably the middle of the forest.

My black hair is filled with leafs and dirt, along with my clothes. And as I look around, searching for a sign to inform me where I came from. I find nothing.

So I sit back down, inhale and exhale as I try to calm down. Ignore all the endless possibilities which tell me that I have to be careful to where I'll go 'cause I might get outside this whole 'other world' place and I won't be able to come back, and there's no way they'll find me just all of a sudden and invite me inside again.

'I have to be careful. Wait…they, where are they? Rafael, Cloud and Ryuu? And N…'

A quick flashback made itself known in front of my eyes as if a screen covered my whole view.

'Noah. Noah's here and he's dead. And he forgave Rafael; let him know, just like I told him, that it's not his fault that Noah died.'

A small smile appeared on my face quickly, but just as soon, it was gone. Another thought raised its dangerous flag.

'But then…after that…what happened?'

Blank space. Darkness. Pure void.

And I had nothing to fill it with.

….

'Odd.' Was the only normal thought as I thought how abnormal I felt just now. As if my blue eyes have turned white for a second, for I couldn't see anything anymore and in the same time, I was. My ears didn't hear anything but were pretty damn attentive for them to suddenly turn deaf. My skin wasn't my skin, it just felt…heavy, as if I was on the ground, not suspended by the wall, practically, in the air.

"What did you just call me?" Only then, I looked ahead of me, to realize that the so called 'King' is right in front of me. And for the first time seeing him confused about something, petrified even.

I parted my lips but nothing got out. Is like I've been yelling a lot, and now, my neck refuses to make even the smallest sound.

"You think it's funny?!" Out of nowhere, the scream of the outraged man got me wide awake.

'Uchiha Itachi is angry' I thought 'and even if I don't know what I did, I am the reason.' and I smirked.

"Argh!" A bitter taste filled my mouth after his blow hit my face. Blood mixing with my blond hair, giving it a weird color I couldn't even see in all the darkness.

But what am I saying? What am I thinking? Doing?

'I don't care. I don't feel…anything.'

If only he knew this would be his last smile, his last happy thought, before it would all sink into damned oblivion.

If only he knew how afraid the 'King' has gotten of him, how much of a danger he considered him now.

So much that he walked away and left him alone with the supposedly living creatures hanging like him.

But in fact, he's one of them now. He's a creature too.

If only he knew how much damage it would cause.

It only he knew it wasn't even his own choice.

If only he knew he should be trying, not giving up.

If only he knew how that would've saved lives, souls.

If only he knew…

To be continued…

**AN2: **And here we are at the end of the chapter. It'd be my pleasure to know what you think so far, if you have any suggestions or questions, I'll answer what I can for now I know how to answer : )). And yeah, see you next Sunday! For sure this time! Not joking, not lying, see you then.

PS: Check out the poll, if you want of course.

**Answering reviews: **

**Cassy**: Oh, you dear reader, I am so glad you're still reading and so understanding, I hope you liked this chapter and sorry, but life really happened lately, but now I am back on track. I hope you're fine too. Wish you all the best.


	34. Chapter 34: Can't kill the dead(3)

**AN1: **Yes, in the middle of the week, miracles do happen! This is the new chapter of Underwater. Finally...I know you want me to be killed in the most horrible way ( I know you missed my rambling) and that you want me to give you hundred of excuses which explain why it took me so long...well, I will give you the lone answer which really says it all...

Even when I ached to write, I stopped myself because I knew that only a scratch will do the thing (missing my rambling, no?) so I started writing exactly when I felt I won't stop at one chapter but be determined that I will continue to write the next one, and then the next one and the next one! And that was today...

What boosted what I already tried to do was a so welcomed and sweet review ( Thank you from the bottom of my heart **Me P**) which only was like a: Yes, today is indeed the day.

Truth be told, I've been terrified of writing again, I was afraid I could do it anymore...it is the first time my writer's blockage has lasted this long, for real...but then I thought I need to shake it off and give you guys what you've been waiting for and deserve.

Sorry for rambling so much but I ...ahem...missed writing:D. First, something I need to say again:

Disclaimer: I don't own the two characters I took from the Naruto anime and manga and I don't make any profit from this story. It's all my own guilty pleasure.

Warnings: I don't normally say too much because it's rated M for God's sake but in this chapter...a...a bit of too much swearing in my opinion...I don't know what happened to me but I hope it won't bother anybody:D. Not too much over the usual rate anyway.

So, God thank you that I can say this again but, I will stop rambling and let you read in peace:

**From the last (previous) chapter:**

_"Rafael, just…come with me and shut your trap." Noah said these words, and without knowing why, I just did._

_Deep within knowing that there's sense in their plan too, there's the substance that resonates, judging that it might work along with a real improbability that everything will work out well._

_'After all, when does everything works out smoothly? For one hundred percent?'_

_So I swallowed the rest of my anger and contradictions, the lump in my throat as I watched Ryuu and Cloud walking in the direction of the pine forest leaded by the cat. While Noah started walking in the exact opposite direction, the snow covering half of his body only after a few mere steps, but I was still looking at the duo and the cat walking away and I continued to stare until they disappeared. Just like that, after making less than four steps into the pine forest and they were gone. And I was somehow sure the cat wanted for me to see that, proving that she's not normal and that I should just accept all of the supernatural beings and invisible worlds from this island before I walk into the nest of its vipers. The black core of it all, the shadow of the sun and the worst of them all, the most powerful supernatural being of them all. For, taking the illogical into consideration with logic, the cat could as well scratch and bite the 'King' to death if she could. No?_

_'The younger brother has red eyes, maybe this one has a third eye or hand… heck if I give a damn about him. I should be the one rescuing the King brat, I am his friend, his doctor, his soldier…. Not those strangers, but then why I let them go and save him?…when I was against saving the blond in the first place, I was more for the brat King to stay home and lead the Kingdom…damn, if Him getting lost isn't the proof that I was right and that he should've stayed home then I don't know how much proof do I need.'_

_"Rafael!" Noah screamed with a really threatening tone for I still didn't move an inch._

_"Coming, brat." I mumbled as I turned around, not looking at the pine forest anymore but at the snow and too far away, the castle of hell. I touched my pants and found the pack of cigarettes, I took one out, and I lit it and let it dirty the air from between my lips. And then, I also took the tinniest pistol that was besides the cigarettes and changed its place, somewhere that's fast and easy to take out._

_'You brats, will be the death of me…eh, what the hell…' I threw the still burning cigarette into the white deep snow, and it continued to take beautiful shapes in the air, but not for too long. For soon, the snow swallowed it._

_..._

* * *

><p><em>My black hair is filled with leafs and dirt, along with my clothes. And as I look around, searching for a sign to inform me where I came from. I find nothing.<em>

_So I sit back down, inhale and exhale as I try to calm down. Ignore all the endless possibilities which tell me that I have to be careful to where I'll go 'cause I might get outside this whole 'other world' place and I won't be able to come back, and there's no way they'll find me just all of a sudden and invite me inside again._

_'I have to be careful. Wait…they, where are they? Rafael, Cloud and Ryuu? And N…'_

_A quick flashback made itself known in front of my eyes as if a screen covered my whole view._

_'Noah. Noah's here and he's dead. And he forgave Rafael; let him know, just like I told him, that it's not his fault that Noah died.'_

_A small smile appeared on my face quickly, but just as soon, it was gone. Another thought raised its dangerous flag._

_'But then…after that…what happened?'_

_Blank space. Darkness. Pure void._

_And I had nothing to fill it with._

_..._

* * *

><p><em>'Uchiha Itachi is angry' I thought 'and even if I don't know what I did, I am the reason.' and I smirked.<em>

_"Argh!" A bitter taste filled my mouth after his blow hit my face. Blood mixing with my blond hair, giving it a weird color I couldn't even see in all the darkness._

_But what am I saying? What am I thinking? Doing?_

_'I don't care. I don't feel…anything.'_

_If only he knew this would be his last smile, his last happy thought, before it would all sink into damned oblivion._

_If only he knew how afraid the 'King' has gotten of him, how much of a danger he considered him now._

_So much that he walked away and left him alone with the supposedly living creatures hanging like him._

_But in fact, he's one of them now. He's a creature too._

_If only he knew how much damage it would cause._

_It only he knew it wasn't even his own choice._

_If only he knew he should be trying, not giving up._

_If only he knew how that would've saved lives, souls._

_If only he knew…_

**The new (actual) chapter:**

There have been several wars in history; the favorites were the ones when women were involved. Quite the love triangle. Since love was a problem since the human has realized its own existence. Eva might've been the second one done but just like my mother says: The first one is the prototype, while the second is better, and improved. Nonetheless…everybody has an opinion, everybody is unique, and still, all humans. But still…who would've thought that a tiny little man could become the reason of a war? Who could've guessed?

Certainly, I didn't.

Chapter 34: Can't kill the dead (part 3)

So many damn hallways. Just when I think it's over, he turns either right or left and the corridor continues, never ending. Not to mention the darkness of the place, for there are no windows, because of course, these are secret places that only the dead know about. Well, I guess my thoughts have gotten pretty infected with venom since the air is limited to not at all, and the hallways are so narrow that only rats and spiders can survive in here, to be more precise, I even heard and saw some some. I even suspect they follow us because we're the only humans they must've seen ,or at least sensed, in ages.

'I must be insane...'

The only source of light is the torch Noah's carrying. So if I stay behind to rest even for a second, I'll be swallowed by the darkness and its brats, to be more exact, the rats. I've never been one to complain, I can catch up even to the most healthier youngster without even getting tired but now, we're talking about a dead body, one that never gets tired, one that doesn't even notice the lack of air because he doesn't breathe, so nothing that affects me in this very moment even slightly influences him. These aren't even his last concerns. I bet his mind can't even register these things anymore.

"We're almost there." He said.

"That's what you've told me ten corridors ago." I mumbled under my breath. Though feeling really hopeful, just like I felt ten corridors ago, that indeed, we'll be there in just some minutes or maybe, seconds.

'The hope dies the last. And I won't as hell die eaten by the rats.'

"Sorry for not slowing down at all but the second we take a break might be the second Naruto will give his last breath..." He informed me with such platitude in his voice that I couldn't but rise an eyebrow at the nonexistent worried tone, for he could as well be saying: The sky is blue.

'Oh, don't worry, I'll be giving my last breath before him!' I think.

"No, I understand what you're saying. I don't want that to happen either." I say.

We've arrived at crossroads for too many times now, and what really bothered me is that he, not even once, stopped to think where to go. Even if he knows this place like I still know the house I had every time I want to image it, the house where I lived when I wasn't on this damned island, it's that he just walks ahead like there isn't any other option but the one he chooses.

'And my home was only a house! This is a freaking castle!'

"Hey, I know you don't want to slow down but at least let's make a plan." All of a sudden, I decided to make the most of the time of our walking, or more like, running.

"A plan, for what?" His tone strongly suggested he has no idea what I am talking about.

'You're getting on my nerves now, really...'

"For what? For how about if we arrive whenever you want us to arrive, and somebody catches us, what then?" I try to sound casual, not accusing him in any way but I am still a bit ironic without even intending to be.

"Then...we'll figure it out." He responds with the same clueless voice.

'What's wrong with this guy? I don't remember him being so distant, it's like he's thinking of something without stopping so he barely hears what's outside his head.'

"We figure it out, huh? What if a frog comes out of nowhere and eats us?" Bored, I said what first came to mind, the most stupid thing, obviously, but his response was:

"We'll figure that out too." Worse and not even sparing me a glace, or the corridors he so comfortably walks on. So I finally snap, I grab his arm, therefore force him to finally face me and really see me.

When I finally get to also stare perfectly at his half torch-lighted face, I meet with wide opened eyes and parted lips.

'He looks terrified.' I thought in the back of my mind as my eyebrow reached an even higher point if that's possible.

"What's scaring you? Spill it." My tone was one saying that you can't mess with me in this moment. I was at the edge, which means he either talks or gets his ass kicked.

"What are you talking about?" The face which showed exactly what he was feeling inside evaporated in one second, as if it was never there to begin with, being instantly replaced with the same indifferent face. But those hurt facial expressions stuck in my head. I could see right through him in that second.

And I suspect that's the only reason why I got so mad that I started yelling, 'cause I felt that he was lying me without the tiniest remorse. And like a fool, when this wasn't the time or the place. Reasons that should've stopped me in the second I parted my lips in a too narrow place, filled with God knows what creatures, in the enemy's castle didn't even made their existence known, not to mention stop me for a second to just blink.

Voice that could be heard and localized by its soldiers or worse, its 'King'. Corridors that have been a secret for so many years that I couldn't even estimate the number, maybe before I was even born. But all of this was erased by the anger that made me see red, anger that spoke the higher volumes in my voice.

"You listen to me brat! I won't die in this damn place because of your day-dreaming, so you better spill whatever is on your damn mind or you deal with it and think of a way we get here unharmed, with Naruto included. Assume your damn responsibility for dragging me here! Am I damn clear?"

I grabbed his blouse on pure instinct as my voice echoed, flowed forwards and then right back to me, pulsating in my ears and then in my whole body while I tried to catch my breath. But I soon forgot all this as I caught a clear view of his face.

His eyes transmitted me everything I needed to know. 'Cause even without tears, he was crying. A cry so deep and so painful that tears wouldn't even have been enough for what I knew he was feeling for it was so powerful that I could almost feel it too.

And soon, all of my anger was not even a memory, but completely erased. 'Cause I was again to blame for his suffering, I was once again hurting him in ways that couldn't be forgiven.

I don't know in what moment I've let his blouse go but I realized it just when my nails almost draw blood from the palm of my hand, creating a fist I pulled all my anger into, and this time, directed to myself.

But I was too surprised to even notice when he almost crashed in my arms, with his head against my chest, and I embraced him back, with all the warmth I was capable, desperately trying to let him know in any possible way that I feel like the last person in this very moment.

"I am sorry." I quietly told him. I am not sure if he even heard me but he talked next, finally confessing his heart out.

"I am afraid. In fact, terrified. I never wanted to come back here, I am so scared of how I will react if I see him, if I will break down or if I will stand my ground. What will happen if he sees me?! If he thinks I am alive, and then finds out I am in fact dead! Then I will expose a world he searched for so long, one he wanted to use in the worse ways possible, I don't know what to do..."

I wanted to ignore the fact that his reasons of being the way he was in this entire time have real background reasons, solid and real ones. It made me feel even worse, not to mention the fact that I didn't even think about these obvious possibilities.

That if we're indeed caught, our deaths won't be the only consequences. Even worse, if he's caught, a whole world might be the price to pay.

However, if I am seen, nothing will happen. I am nothing, no one. No one will connect me with the brat King. On the other hand, if Noah is seen, not only the proof that the world exists and that there's a way to get inside and outside of it exists but that he obviously came from younger brother brat and that might also get Naruto killed, and in the end, everybody killed.

It didn't even lightly passed my mind. While I was so annoyed that he's not making a plan, he was in fact way further than I was.

And my poor mind refused to acknowledge the underneaths of why I didn't thought about it before he did. It protected me from the scary realization that was yet unknown.

But then, I saw clearer. There was no way we could even risk Noah to get caught, but if I get caught nothing will happen. My death wouldn't affect a fly. It somehow pained me to think of it but that was the truth.

I wasn't ashamed to die in the name of my King. In fact, there wouldn't have been a more nobble death. Giving my last breath for a person that my King loved.

I discovered for the first time in my life that I wasn't afraid of death.

'At least...if I couldn't save my loved one, I can die saving somebody's else loved one.'

"I will go alone." Like a voice from a grave, my voice spoke with such security and confidence he looked up from my chest with wide eyes.

"No way am I letting you go there alone! And even if I would, you have no idea how twisted this castle can get and where the soldiers are, and Naruto! There are so many places he can be in. You, going alone is not an option Rafael!"

He told me, not using the matter of fact tone, but still, something that was also obvious. But I was blinded by the idea of nobody else dying, however, I realized that there was no way I could go alone even if it wouldn't be any consequence if I would've been caught.

"So then what? We can't risk you getting seen! And I can't go alone. What are we doing here then Noah?"

I stated with a kind voice, though the subject was still desperate.

He looked down once again and that was when the old rusty gears started functioning once again, as if revenging and being stubborn enough to think of something that the brat didn't think of yet.

My whole being felt guilty for letting these youngsters doing what they in fact, thought it was best but I was the old one, the experienced one and the one who should've seen all of these things coming.

I had to wake up from whatever fever blocked my mind from seeing what has been all around me in this entire time, obvious even, and quite complicated in the end.

'It doesn't matter if I am seen, but if he wouldn't be seen...if that was possible...if...what if...'

A grin that was too happy and yet too evil to ignore spread across my face in the darkness of the corridor. Noah stared at it as he shyly asked me:

"What? Did I miss something?"

The grin couldn't be ripped from my face no matter what, as he, almost scared, looked at my face, confused.

Then it was that, not yelling yet not being quiet about it either, I finally informed him:

"I have an idea." I declared, triumphantly.

"This can't be good." He mumbled so quietly that I almost didn't hear him.

...

* * *

><p>"Stop complaining Cloud." I warmly suggested it to him, though I knew he will continue anyway.<p>

" I am not complaining but this is so fucking wrong Ryuu, we're not going after Naruto, we're going after the enemy of our 'King', we're helping the enemies right now!"

The same content has resonated in my ears since the moment we left the winter side and then back to the other world, with ghosts or souls, whatever it was, I was too preoccupied with my partner. In fact, Cloud's voice talking about how we're not doing the right thing, about how we should feel ashamed by ourselves.

There are times like these when I seriously consider the option that he's completely forgetting what our 'King' has done. Why we left the castle, why our 'King' is no longer our 'King' and why he should never be again.

So, I stopped walking and both him and the cat stopped in place.

And I spared the cat a look but its expression was simply unreadable so I didn't bother but fixed my gaze on Cloud instead. As I put my hands on his shoulders and looked him straight in the eyes I loved, as I spoke to him, collected and rare:

"Cloud, you do realize that the only reason we are are alive is because Naruto rescued us before we got killed by our 'King'? You know that our 'King' killed all the good people he caught and only kept, as his soldiers, the ones that were evil? You are aware of any of these facts?"

"Yes, of course I fucking know, Ryuu. I was there with you."

He casually, normally told me as if I am the one being ridiculous.

We started walking again, side by side, as we all slowly drowned in awkward silence since even in the worse situation, Cloud and I talked. Since the first very beginnings of our relationships, we decided we'll talk it out, no matter how bad or embarrassing, and if I recall correctly, he is the one with this request I also respected. But now, the silence stretched to the extent where the tress couldn't be seen by our human eyes.

And though I was prepared to say something, even if I deemed it stupid, no matter what came to mind, I had to make him talk to me again, still, his voice spoke before I did. And honestly, I preferred that he would've kept quiet instead, I preferred that he would've left those words that he said... silent.

"If we find the King, let's kill him."

In my desperate need of a safe place, of an ordinary moment, I conflicted the abnormal, and I insanely tried to convince myself, to grab the possibility of the two faced word. So, I basically tried my last chance, making my whispered words stronger by even forcing a laugh at the end of my question:

"Which one?"

"Naruto's."

I stopped walking.

His quick but sure answer, sadly, didn't annoy me one bit. Loving him made me pass the annoyed state right to the point when I was dead worried.

"You're kidding, right?"

I tried once again, with the forced blind hope that was yet transparent that I would get an affirmative answer, but...:

"No. Of course I am not fucking kidding Ryuu. I'm serious."

When I stopped walking, they also did and now, as I felt something that was overflowing out of me, since something threatened to take my sanity away, as a pain so strong took away all of my other senses. The reality was too far away to be important.

I tried to hold the last thread, one that the Doctor also used. One to keep me safe for at least a second.

Something that I didn't even consider 'cause from the first time I heard of it, I believed that this world existed even if it didn't reveal itself to me for such a long time. And it revealed to Naruto's King instead. However, I still believed in it.

But now, for my own sake, I had to believe that I am still in the car dreaming.

I was barely brought back to the bitter reality by its warm hands holding my freezing hands and his breathing on my lips as he whispered to me:

"We'll kill him Ryuu, no?"

I wanted to believe it so bad that I even thought the Doctor did the same trick by thinking this ,so he would protect himself since he lost his King in the forest, as I now, was losing myself. Hopefully, only myself.

But even with my mind trying to grab a hold of this belief.

I could still feel as the wind took away all that I am, so far that it was shadowed by the high old trees, that it was buried underneath their roots. Without knowing the reason why it was so, and pained that this information is stolen from me.

I felt it slipping so further that it was almost completely gone as my own thoughts were recited as if reading them from a book: This is not happening because this is not real, I am still sleeping and I am now dreaming, 'cause I am still in the car. This is not happening, this will go away when I wake up and nothing in my life will be influenced by it. This is a mirage caused by the desert, this may be a nightmare but this is absolutely not...'

"Let's kill him together Ryuu..."

'Happening.'

...

* * *

><p>'I am the King of the sunny and warm side, so why the hell am I in this dark and cold forest? I am...I...'<p>

This forest takes minds. This forest is not a normal one. I feel like I need to reassure myself of who I am, where I came from, it's like it drains all self confidence or just...hope.

I let myself fall to the ground for many times and I try to convince myself that this is a good thing, that if I don't move too much, I have so many chances to be found but then I think, I don't want to be found, so I start to walk.

Then I think I might find them or the way back to the civility if I walk and then...I stop walking and fall to the ground feeling like I don't want to find them or to go back.

This conflict has gone for so long that it exhausted me.

'What if if I am wrong and it's only been a few minutes?...but what does it matter anyway if I feel so...tired?'

I look up from the ground to meet the sky that's covered by the high crowns of the tress, by their light or dark leaves. I can't tell if it's day or night, I can't tell if I even care what it is, where it is. I couldn't tell anything.

'I am so...confused.'

'But what if they find me? Should I run?'

'Of course not. 'Cause I'll die here! They'll never find me...'

'Maybe if I move, they won't find me...'

'Maybe if I don't move, I will be found.'

"Ohh! What is going on?!" I screamed so loud that it echoed all around me, that for a second, my head has been silent but the bliss didn't last too much to...not at all.

'If they heard my scream then they will come from where it came, they will find me...I have to move quick and get as far as I can so that they won't find me!'

'I need to stay still, if they heard, then they will be here in no time, never mind what I thought before, I need to stay here, I need to...'

'Run! Son of a bitch, run! Just get away or they will find you!'

'Maybe they didn't, maybe I should look for a clue while waiting here for them, at least some time and then go to the most familiar way and then back to the civilization.'

'The best news ever! They didn't hear, it's a huge forest, there isn't a chance they heard me!'

'Civilization...'

'Run...'

'Stay...'

'I don't know...'

I feel the wind softly disturbing my black hair and I let my black eyes rest in the complete darkness as I either fall asleep real quick or pass out. No matter which one it is, I was more than glad I was unconscious even it would've been for a second.

I knew I needed to gather any energy possible, available for whatever decision I might or might not take in the end.

'Cause this forest is...winning.'

...

* * *

><p>"Naruto? Naruto, wake up you little piece of shit!"<p>

The sound came first and then the coldness of the water which hit my face, out of nowhere.

I looked up at the man who did this, out of pure instinct.

"There you go. How dare you sleep when your 'King' is paying you a visit you don't even deserve!"

I didn't say anything.

"You're pretty damn quiet lately. Have you resigned to the fact that you're now at my mercy?"

I looked at the walls which weren't filled with unknown living or dead creatures anymore.

Still old and cold but naked solid walls.

'As if I care about the walls.'

"You motherfucker!" He screamed and then slapped my face, then my back,and then my head again.

"You're gonna talk now or I'll remove a teeth or two!" He yelled again.

I looked away from his face.

"This is it! I've been too lenient on you, you don't deserve any mercy, you're nothing but trash!"

His words, his powerful blows, and his anger.

They all existed, I acknowledged them, I realized they were there but I didn't care why, I didn't care what happened to me so I closed my eyes, drowned in darkness as the pain was almost nonexistent, I was numb.

So numb that even when I probably have lost too much blood, I still didn't felt anything and I still...didn't care.

To be continued...

**AN2:**Well, aren't there many things happening? There are many questions you will find out, but I'd like to know your opinion or suggestion on what idea do you think Rafael has or if the 'King' Itachi heard his scream? What happens with Sasuke, which side of him will win and what about Naruto? And what is Itachi capable of doing with him? Will either of the be caught, killed? I am pretty curious when it comes to stories, the only thing I am curious about though...these are the questions I am asking myself too so it'd be pretty fun to know what you think, review or PM, doesn't matter, don't hesitate.

Thank you so much for reading and for those who have been patient and waited for my story to get back. And about the next chapter, well, I planning for it to be on Sunday. I won't promise though but this week or the other for sure, still, check on Sunday! I thinking already of it, if there are any question or suggestions, be sure to do them me before Sunday so you won't be surprised I didn't take them in consideration...therefore, didn't know about them.

Rambling too much, argh! Thank you for putting up with me! A miracle indeed! Missed you guys!

**Answering reviews:**

**Me P:** Thank you so much once again for your review, such sweet compliments made me write for sure, your review convinced me to just stop fearing writing and now I am so happy I did. I am quite surprised though, you read it all in two days! How's that possible? I am impressed and saying this is one of the best you've read touched me deeply, a more wonderful compliment wouldn't have been possible. And I am quite happy you reviewed the moment you finished it, I think you're one that waited very little since you motivated me a lot so yeah, here it is and no, not giving up on it...I am just not one to give up you see. But thank you from the bottom of my heart once again, hope you still like it and wish you all the best there is.

See you all next Sunday! (Hope dies the last. ...But I won't as sure as hell die eaten by the rats!' Sorry...I couldn't help it:D Too happy I am writing again...yup, sorry).


	35. Chapter 35: Can't kill the dead(4)

**AN1: **Hey, this is the Sunday chapter though actually is the rest of this chapter but many things happen in it, finally so stay tuned to the next one. And sorry for not finishing it earlier but I didn't felt so good lately and I took this whole day off to just write and this is what happened, hope you will like it!

If you don't want to read the beginning again though I fixed some mistakes and stuff, scroll at the black thing with '**The rest of the chapter****'**and read from there.

So, on with the reading:

**From the last (previous) chapter:**

_"So then what? We can't risk you getting seen! And I can't go alone. What are we doing here then Noah?"_

_I stated with a kind voice, though the subject was still desperate._

_He looked down once again and that was when the old rusty gears started functioning once again, as if revenging and being stubborn enough to think of something that the brat didn't think of yet._

_My whole being felt guilty for letting these youngsters doing what they in fact, thought it was best but I was the old one, the experienced one and the one who should've seen all of these things coming._

_I had to wake up from whatever fever blocked my mind from seeing what has been all around me in this entire time, obvious even, and quite complicated in the end._

_'It doesn't matter if I am seen, but if he wouldn't be seen...if that was possible...if...what if...'_

_A grin that was too happy and yet too evil to ignore spread across my face in the darkness of the corridor. Noah stared at it as he shyly asked me:_

_"What? Did I miss something?"_

_The grin couldn't be ripped from my face no matter what, as he, almost scared, looked at my face, confused._

_Then it was that, not yelling yet not being quiet about it either, I finally informed him:_

_"I have an idea." I declared, triumphantly._

_"This can't be good." He mumbled so quietly that I almost didn't hear him._

_..._

_I tried to hold the last thread, one that the Doctor also used. One to keep me safe for at least a second._

_Something that I didn't even consider 'cause from the first time I heard of it, I believed that this world existed even if it didn't reveal itself to me for such a long time. And it revealed to Naruto's King instead. However, I still believed in it._

_But now, for my own sake, I had to believe that I am still in the car dreaming._

_I was barely brought back to the bitter reality by its warm hands holding my freezing hands and his breathing on my lips as he whispered to me:_

_"We'll kill him Ryuu, no?"_

_I wanted to believe it so bad that I even thought that the Doctor did the same trick by thinking this, so he would protect himself since he lost his King in the forest, as I now, was losing myself. Hopefully, only myself._

_But even with my mind trying to grab a hold of this belief._

_I could still feel as the wind took away all that I am, so far that it was shadowed by the high old trees, that it was buried underneath their roots. Without knowing the reason why it was so, and pained that this information is stolen from me._

_I felt it slipping so further that it was almost completely gone as my own thoughts were recited as if reading them from a book: This is not happening because this is not real, I am still sleeping and I am now dreaming, 'cause I am still in the car. This is not happening, this will go away when I wake up and nothing in my life will be influenced by it. This is a mirage caused by the desert, this may be a nightmare but this is absolutely not...'_

_"Let's kill him together Ryuu..."_

_'Happening.'_

_..._

_'Civilization...'_

_'Run...'_

_'Stay...'_

_'I don't know...'_

_I feel the wind softly disturbing my black hair and I let my black eyes rest in the complete darkness as I either fall asleep real quick or pass out. No matter which one it is, I was more than glad I was unconscious even it would've been for a second._

_I knew I needed to gather any energy possible, available for whatever decision I might or might not take in the end._

_'Cause this forest is...winning.'_

_..._

_"You motherfucker!" He screamed and then slapped my face, then my back, and then my head again._

_"You're goanna talk now or I'll remove a tooth or two!" He yelled again._

_I looked away from his face._

_"This is it! I've been too lenient on you, you don't deserve any mercy, and you're nothing but trash!"_

_His words, his powerful blows, and his anger._

_They all existed, I acknowledged them, I realized they were there but I didn't care why, I didn't care what happened to me so I closed my eyes, drowned in darkness as the pain was almost nonexistent, I was numb._

_So numb that even when I probably have lost too much blood, I still didn't felt anything and I still...didn't care._

**The new (actual) chapter:**

There have been several wars in history; the favourites were the ones when women were involved. Quite the love triangle. Since love was a problem since the human has realized its own existence. Eva might've been the second one done but just like my mother says: The first one is the prototype, while the second is better, and improved. Nonetheless…everybody has an opinion, everybody is unique, and still, all humans. But still…who would've thought that a tiny little man could become the reason of a war? Who could've guessed?

Certainly, I didn't.

Chapter 35: Can't kill the dead (part 4-final part)

"And if it doesn't work, what then Rafael?" He asked me, whispering.

"I will shoot him." I responded, playing with the small gun in my hands.

"Fine." Noah's sigh wasn't one filled with relief but one that explained very clear he doesn't like what he's about to do. A sigh filled with hardship, content of what's about to come next. And I would lie if I would say I didn't understand his worry.

'If my plan doesn't work...we're screwed.' I thought as I closed my eyes for a second, also preparing mentally, in my own way.

One would want to know what the hell we are doing, what is the big bro's plan. Well, it's so plain, so stupid and so risky that we're probably out of our minds for trying it.

When we were still in the uncomfortable safety of the secret corridors, that I later learned were underground and the reason why it took a while it was in fact because we had to climb up but I barely noticed the stairs...the corridors were endless. When we were still there, a bit out of it since we felt that we went all the way for nothing. For a second considered going back, though our pride wouldn't let it go, it kind of went like this:

'_We continued to argue about how he has to know before we do the plan and I continued to reply that when we got to where we are supposed to get at, I will tell him anything. That I don't want him to be worried all the way up and forget how to get to the damn right place._

_Truth be told, I was still thinking things over. I started thinking of a plan B since A was getting more and more out of question as seconds passed by._

_But in these silent moments, Noah lost it__,__ and swore I will die in here because he won't move if I don't tell him what's the big plan._

_"You'll freak out." I informed him with a calm voice._

_"Do you rather wish I freak out here, in the middle of nowhere, or beside a soldier or the 'King' himself?!" _

_'I would rather you not freak out at all.' I wishfully thought and let out a groan as I felt cornered for of course, he was in fact, the one who could judge if my plan would work, not me. But I was so petrified of a negative answer that I'd be capable of anything, only to stretch my last hope even for one more minute._

_He lighted up since I was giving too many signs of already surrendering. _

_So, I covered his mouth out of a sudden with my hand and told him:_

_"You said that if you don't want to be seen by living people, then they can't see you."_

_I thought that pretty much explained it but I still heard him mumbling a serious 'And?' against the palm of my hand._

_"And, you can choose not to be seen by anybody in this damn castle besides me. You can go around and find Naruto and if anybody will be caught, well, that will be me. No world will be discovered and all that damn stuff." _

_So, with his own hands, he took mine from his mouth and talked to me, pretty calm if I can add._

_"What you say is right but I have no idea if this works if we're not inside the 'Soul's world'. We are outside of it and well, I never went outside of it since we're stuck there, of course. This mechanism works as if that somebody enters it by mistake, a believer in all the unseen things, he will think he entered the past or the future, maybe he's in another country...something that any normal person would think without knowing where he or she is. Basically, if one gets in and there's a loved one inside, a family member, a lover or a friend. These people have to choose not to be seen so that person will never figure out that all the people he or she's seeing are in fact, well..."_

_"Dead." I finished for him._

_What lighted up his face before wasn't there anymore. Sadness put its mark on him as he started staring at the ground. I only then noticed he probably forgot he's dead since we, the ones who have been with him when he was alive have been with him for the past few hours. _

_'As if he never left'. Not to mention that he got mad when I slowly but rudely realized and bothered him about the fact that he's not alive anymore. All of my questions were stabbing him each time._

_'I hurt him once again, this time, without even knowing...' He was getting more and more perturbed by all of the facts that were coming back at him with light speed, attacking. _

_I really had no idea what to tell him because I couldn't say we'll bring him back to life or something, the only line that could make a person in its situation better but that'd be a lie. There was no possibility of that._

_So I did what I knew best which meant, changing the subject. Moving on._

_"Well, isn't this the same?" I happily asked, lighting up myself._

_He looked up, seeming even more tired, more...soulless__._

_"How is the same?" Bored, or more like, without any hope left, he asked me._

_"It is just the same. The 'King' of this damn place has been your friend, lover, acquaintance or whatever. He is someone who isn't supposed to see you."_

_He seemed to put a bit more faith in my plan right now, I could see it in his eyes and by encouraging him, I also encouraged myself._

_"What about the soldiers? Even if I was one of them, I was in a different...place. I have nothing to do with them. If anything, they all hate me. Some of them also have no idea who I am."_

_"Well..." I got stuck for a second but then I got a hang of it right back. „Even if they don't know you or hate you, they are people who can make the 'King' believe in you, therefore see you. They might be only pawns but they can't see you either if you choose so." _

_It sounded pretty logic. If this rule was so powerful then it applied this way too, of course. It was all about believing. So this all: can't be seen because they'll discover what this world really is, or that…it just plainly exists. Should be more complicated, should apply to people who could tell the said person about the one who is dead for them. Because though everybody is dead there, it means nothing to the one who actually never meet them when they were alive._

_'So then...how come we all saw Noah when we got there? We didn't know what we were getting into. Maybe this rule is nothing but a damn myth? Not to mention that, let's blindly believe that it exists, this rule can be only for...'_

_"There isn't any proof that the rule can work outside that world Rafael..."_

_"Yeah, I know." A lot more discouraged, I said it, with words that echoed all around, making me feel even more uneasy._

_"But..." He started, with a sigh and closed eyes, and only when he opened them again, continued his sentence. „this is the only plan we've got and probably, from my point of view, the only choice."_

_"So, we try it?" I inquired, filled with doubt myself._

_"Yeah."_

_What happened next was what happened all the way to that point, talked about the holes in the plan but it was the same thing over and over again. And as we got higher and closer to the point we'd have to leave the safety of the secret corridors, I convinced myself I don't give a damn if I try all we have left while Noah got more discouraged__._

_In the end, we ended up staring at an alive soldier, with my gun pointed at it and with Noah feeling like he's making the mistake of his life...or anyway, a mistake.'_

"Now, Rafael?" Hesitant, he said these words and in my mind already thought these will be the last words I'll hear. Not because he'll die, he's already there. I will be the one dying. But that would only be fair game.

'I took his life, he takes mine. It's just how this is supposed to be.'

"Now, Noah." I whispered back.

Then, I had to look at how Noah steps outside the shadows of the castle to the moon's light, and out into full view.

The soldier however, continued to stare blankly in front of him with his back rested against the wall as Noah was at his left and the huge window at its right.

He made some steps towards the big man. Steps that though light disturbed the old wood underneath his foot a little and made a squeaky sound.

The man also didn't notice that.

"Hello?" Noah tried with a trembling voice.

And this time, the man moved.

As if burned, he stood up straight, no longer helping himself with the wall. Both Noah and I, now discovering he's much taller than we first thought he is.

Noah took a step back without even thinking about it. I also panicked as the soldier turned left, facing Noah, making a step forward and touching the sword's head with one hand, which was still in its sheath.

I pointed the gun so that the bullet will go straight through his brain. I was just waiting for the second he'll take his sword out to kill Noah.

However, I couldn't but thank no matter which God made me wait the proof that he really saw Noah that was standing right in front of him, and not shoot him which would've been loud enough even if the gun is the tiniest there is, and I would've instantly been heard and discovered.

But I didn't shoot, and Noah didn't make another sound. But the soldier did:

"Who's there?! Show yourself!"

The soldier asked nothing but the air and darkness as Noah was still two steps in front of him.

For some good minutes, no one moved. The soldier asked some questions and looked all around for a couple of times and then convinced himself he's hearing things. He contemplated with going back to his wall, resting against it and swearing under his breath.

Noah couldn't help but smile. His happiness was overflowing out of every pore; I tried real hard not to burst into either a good laugh or a bad cry.

'The hardest part is over.' I thought to myself as we both returned to safety.

...

"You'll help me kill him, no? Ryuu?"

I couldn't speak. I was too afraid to say a word or move an arm or a leg. I was no fool after all. He was dead serious. While I was asphyxiated only by the light idea of him not fooling around. This slowly worked its way through all the feelings that tried me, pulled at me with dirty skin and sharp nails.

"Cloud, please stop." I whispered so low, from the depths of my being, but I was surprised that he heard me.

"Stop what?"

"This joke." My throat was dry and tight. I barely talked but he heard me perfectly, after all, it was a silent forest.

With tall and old tress.

'And there seem not to be any animals in it. What forest doesn't have animals?!'

This thought came out of nowhere. One that I pushed aside instantly. It wasn't important because Cloud seemed to be the one who deserved my isolated attention.

"Why joke Ryuu." He smiled. "I know you love me and that you'll help me get rid of this evil human." He kissed my cheek but I stepped back, out of his hold.

'He means it. I don't want to believe it but he's serious. He wants to kill Naruto's King, but...I must calm down.'

I inhaled and exhaled while Cloud looked at me weird, as if he's confused about my behaviour.

'There's a catch...why? Why is he so set to kill him?'

"Cloud, why would you want to kill Naruto's King?"

**The rest of the chapter:**

His expression continued to give signs of being confused, but no sign of remorse for what he just said, of realisation or just plain lucidity. The eyes I looked at, tried to look through were just like two pieces of glass, reflecting nothing, keeping me outside from his within, and staring back at me with no real emotion, just cold and void.

"Cloud, answer me." Almost afraid of him, no, of this creature before me, I asked him but with no real danger in my voice.

"I just told you why, he is the devil, so he deserves to die."

"Why?!"

I was out. Something in me screamed to run because I couldn't understand why the only emotion his eyes, body and words were capable only of hate towards Naruto's King.

"Why?! I will tell you why! Because he believes he owns everybody in this island! Because he's always the good person. Because he takes control of you all without you even knowing. Just like he took control of you, since now, you will betray me for him!"

He screamed and screamed and I was completely sure he's not the same person.

"Betray you?" I barely whispered, merely talked and didn't even want an answer. But he heard me.

"Yes! Betray me! That's all You are good at! After so many years! That is all You can do!"

"Stop yelling at me!" I fought back since a headache was already taking its grip on me. Cold sweat rolled down from my forehead to my chin and then to the ground.

'As if something subconsciously attacks me.'

"Stop yelling at you?! Who do you think you are to tell me that?" His voice changed tonalities.

I had little time to be surprised for Cloud tightly grabbed my right arm and his mouth smiled only when it was clear that it hurt me.

"Stop it! Cloud!" Panicked, I started saying his name as he also grabbed the other hand, forcing me to stay still and look into his eyes.

The sweat was no longer accumulating but as if it gathered inside of me, under my skin.

'I feel sick.' I thought, quietly in my head.

He continued to hurt my arms and to pull me towards his body, with those empty eyes of his.

And I continued to feel sick to the stomach as his eyes fixed me and wouldn't let me go.

Something in me knew better and begged for me not to look at him or surrender.

But I felt like the scum of the earth crumbling and crawling at his feet since I couldn't stay on my own

For a second I even thought that if he wouldn't be holding my wrists, I would fall to the ground and never get up.

The particular moment when his eyes finally beat me, I heard the cat screaming behind both of us.

To which Cloud turned around to stare at it but I had no power left to do that, I was exhausted as if I haven't slept for two weeks, if possible.

But Cloud returned his gaze to me quickly, as if hurried up all of a sudden.

And then I felt something furry and soft at my feet, something that distracted me enough to look at it.

The cat was staring in my eyes, just like Cloud stared.

But the cat had so much emotions in them, as if she was crying in front of my, disappointed yet proud.

I couldn't tell but I refused the glare of my lover, I refused his eyes but to this cat, I screamed with my whole being:  
>'Yes.'<p>

And then…it happened.

…

"You brat stop worrying, it will end up just fine. I have your back and you have mine."

I informed him for the tenth time in maybe twenty seconds. Because he was still insecure about our next plan, next action and next death wish.

Since, now that we both knew the soldiers can't see him, there is also the slightly possibility the 'King' can see him. No big secret to Noah that he has some kind of supernatural powers. And in some way, it was no secret for me neither since his younger brother has his own issues in this department.

"But how do we get Naruto out, Rafael?" Concern was written all over his features."

"You're really starting to piss me off Noah. I told you there's no way I let you carry Naruto out of there by yourself. You're really risking your world by letting anybody see Naruto's body flying off the ground by itself!"

It was only logic that if somebody saw something at all, it was Naruto himself moving on his own.

At least, some of the work was done. Noah completed his mission which was checking every damn room for Naruto. What is great is that he found him in some kind of weird basement. What is not great is that he found no trace of the 'King'. This means he's out there and probably will visit Naruto sooner or later.

"But you might be seen and shoot!"

"That's why you'll make sure the road is clean for both me and Naruto to get to the corridors!"

"God, I am already regretting this."  
>He mostly spoke to himself as he set one foot outside the hiding yet safe place and I also followed him when he informed me that the soldiers are gone.<p>

When we got inside Naruto's cell, I was more than happy to see the blond dumb brat but I was also more than terrified to see the conditions of the place and the condition of Naruto himself.

Blood was gathered at his feet, the red yet almost completely dark substance that gathered underneath his body that was the one bleeding from red and purple spots. Cuts and bruises covered Naruto's skin as if they were permanent tattoos.

It took me more than a minute to take in his hanged picture by the damn wall.

But Noah was more than convinced that we should take him out now, and be surprised and sad later.

"Hey, Naruto…wake up you dumb blond brat." I whispered in his ears and fought back any tear that threatened to get out.

"Naruto, please wake up." Noah said, looking at the door with a panicked expression.

I tried removing the metal things more than one time but nothing budge, even wore, I was deepening the wounds he got from them.

"Impossible." I exclaimed in a tired tone but not too loud.

"Damn it, shoot them." Noah suddenly told me and I was considering and refusing the idea in the same time.

"If I shoot them, then they'll all come here!"

"So be it, we can't take him out of these things! What other option do we have?" He asked me, glancing with pained eyes at Naruto.

"Find…the keys." I suggested as I felt the key shape in the metallic handcuffs.

"Are you insane? It's obvious that the keys are at the 'King'!"

"Yeah but he can't see you."  
>"We don't know that! And would you rather be seen by the soldiers or by the 'King'!"<p>

"No idea but neither one of them is good for me, brat. At least be killed by the 'King' than the rats of its soldiers."

"We're done Rafael…" He sadly said, staring at the ground.

"We just need the damn keys, brat!"

"Searching for these?"

The unknown voice had a tone so familiar I was afraid to look its way. Since, the authoritative and stern voice was different but the tone was the same.

'The tone of a Royalty.'

Noah however was obviously close to fainting, he didn't move or breathe. He was looking more alive to me now than he did all the way here.

With much courage, I stole a good glance of a person that looked so much like my King brat.

But in the same time, so different.

So alike that I wished for this person to be him.

And so different that I knew with my every breath, it's not him.

"I can give them to you, or, I can use them on you. Which one do you prefer?"

I was clearly unable of doing anything but in the moment I saw him stepping into the light, and passing Noah by, I was somehow a little bit more relaxed.

'Damned world, you get in it as a living and you still worry about it even if you're not dead.'

I was tied up by its soldiers in minutes and Noah watched both me and Naruto with such sad eyes it was heartbreaking.

He couldn't cry which it was good for then, it would've made a pool at his feet which would've been seen.

I was beat up for I deserved it, apparently, or so the 'King' informed me.

And I was given like two days to live until being killed.

And when it was all over and Noah couldn't speak or do anything than stay like a ghost, for he couldn't unchain either of us.

I started screaming at Naruto.

And after I almost lost my voice, his eyelashes lifted to reveal eyes that were once blue like the sky, now, close to black.

"Brat! Finally, I was damn worried you died on me. What the hell did he do to you? No, it's not the time to talk; we need to get out of here!" Talking about escaping though in the worse shape myself, there were some hints of happiness for I really thought he's not alive anymore, he lost so much blood and I refused myself countless time to check for his pulse when I had the chance. Or just…my hands free.

"W…" His red, swollen lips started but I didn't had the patience.

"'W', what Naruto?" I asked him, still happy inside, though my happiness was as twisted as it could be.

"Who…are…y…you?" He looked at me with wide open eyes and conscious too.

All my color drained from my face.

"Who am I…brat…it's me, Rafael."

"I don't…know…you."

Slow and painful, he informed me.

And as I felt something in me break, I also heard as Noah's knees touched the cold stone of the ground.

Looking as if he's crying.

And though he had no tears, I had plenty.

And I couldn't make them stop flowing.

'He destroyed you.' I answered myself.

…

I felt tall grass surrounding me and its inviting smell.

As I stood on my back, somehow comforted by the ground that was still unknown to me for I had my eyes closed for a while now.

The smells assaulted me but I refused to make any move at all.

The second that I finally opened my eyes was when I heard the sound of a bird singing.

I got up so fast that my red head was spinning.

'Night.' The darkness of the pleasurable night faced me, also, with its many stars shining above me, lighting the whole place with the help of the full moon.

The vegetation didn't look as dead anymore and there were even some flowers in view and after two humble steps, I spotted a huge lake where the frogs sang from their own water lily, crickets dancing around and fire flies above and besides the lake, giving a special glow to everything.

"Am I dead?" I asked the silence, the nature since it felt and looked like heaven but the place didn't seem to be on the island or anywhere near it.

I looked once again down at the thing that touches my leg to see the cat, which still looked sad.

I bowed down and asked where I am but she didn't react in any way.

As if this place is like any other place.

I wasn't annoyed though, I felt rather calm even after the cat let me enjoy the view and relax. I was calm even when I remembered that Cloud scared me and almost beat me up only for me to accept to kill Naruto's King.

So then I realized that the cat maybe got me to this place so Cloud can't find me.

'Saved from my own lover.' I smiled as I thought how ironic everything seems.

That person was supposed to be my saviour, my hero, and in no circumstance my enemy.

'Seems life is not fair at all.' I contemplated and as I got up as started walking, it wasn't long before the cat seemed like she wants me to go with her and leave this place.

I convinced her for letting me stay for two more minutes but that was it.

I left that magnificent place.

But I already knew I will never forget it.

"Where are you taking me?"

No matter how many questions I'd ask, the cat wouldn't do anything even if she somehow knew my language. Still, every time I asked something, I mentally slapped myself and thinking: 'How the hell do you expect for the cat to answer you?!'

Running through the woods once again, soon looking pretty similar to the forest me and Cloud have fought into but I didn't mind it or said a word. Just ran.

Since the cat saved me and it was pretty clear I was safe with her.

I was tired soon enough while the cat looked as if she's just getting started.

Trying to inhale and exhale without coughing seemed like a futile thing to do.

So I ran and ran until she stopped.

I crashed to the ground but she immediately started mewing which was a rare thing.

I walked many steps before she finally turned around to look at me and then looked at when I am supposed to look.

Staring at a black haired man and porcelain white skin spread on the ground.

"Found …you." I whispered for I couldn't believe it.

And in the same time…I had no idea what to do from now on.

To be continued…

**AN2: **So, done. Suggestions or questions, all welcomed. See you next Sunday.

**Answering reviews: **

**Shiki: **Well, hello my dear! I am so happy you enjoy my story so much! I enjoy your words even more. You're too sweet. I hope you like this one too, will finish it, don't worry. Hope I won't disappoint you until the end. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, wish you all the best.


	36. Chapter 36: Oblivious

**AN1: **Chapter 36 is finally here, took forever to think about, a whole day to write and it's not even remotely close to huge…but don't be fooled my dear readers! Things finally start moving. I know I think I said stuff like this for too many times already but finally, things really go the way I wanted them to go, I mean, I've been meaning to let you know the stuff that's been in here for the last…5 chapters I think, or 10…something like that… and I'm finally able to let it all out and connect the dots for all to see. And um…sorry for any mistakes, dead tired here…

Thank you for staying with me through all these chapters, I hope I still can entertain you in my own way.

On with the reading:

**From the last (previous) chapter:**

_I was tied up by its soldiers in minutes and Noah watched both me and Naruto with such sad eyes it was heartbreaking._

_He couldn't cry which it was good for then, it would've made a pool at his feet which would've been seen._

_I was beat up for I deserved it, apparently, or so the 'King' informed me._

_And I was given like two days to live until being killed._

_And when it was all over and Noah couldn't speak or do anything than stay like a ghost, for he couldn't unchain either of us._

_I started screaming at Naruto._

_And after I almost lost my voice, his eyelashes lifted to reveal eyes that were once blue like the sky, now, close to black._

_"Brat! Finally, I was damn worried you died on me. What the hell did he do to you? No, it's not the time to talk; we need to get out of here!" Talking about escaping though in the worse shape myself, there were some hints of happiness for I really thought he's not alive anymore, he lost so much blood and I refused myself countless time to check for his pulse when I had the chance. Or just…my hands free._

_"W…" His red, swollen lips started but I didn't had the patience._

_"'W', what Naruto?" I asked him, still happy inside, though my happiness was as twisted as it could be._

_"Who…are…y…you?" He looked at me with wide open eyes and conscious too._

_All my color drained from my face._

_"Who am I…brat…it's me, Rafael."_

_"I don't…know…you."_

_Slow and painful, he informed me._

_And as I felt something in me break, I also heard as Noah's knees touched the cold stone of the ground._

_Looking as if he's crying._

_And though he had no tears, I had plenty._

_And I couldn't make them stop flowing._

_'He destroyed you.' I answered myself._

…

_Running through the woods once again, soon looking pretty similar to the forest me and Cloud have fought into but I didn't mind it or said a word. Just ran._

_Since the cat saved me and it was pretty clear I was safe with her._

_I was tired soon enough while the cat looked as if she's just getting started._

_Trying to inhale and exhale without coughing seemed like a futile thing to do._

_So I ran and ran until she stopped._

_I crashed to the ground but she immediately started mewing which was a rare thing._

_I walked many steps before she finally turned around to look at me and then looked at when I am supposed to look._

_Staring at a black haired man and porcelain white skin as if scattered on the ground._

_"Found …you." I whispered for I couldn't believe it._

_And in the same time…I had no idea what to do from now on._

**The new (actual) chapter:**

Everything was pure madness and nothing less. As if the cruel reality and the most painful nightmare collided in one. No one seemed whole anymore, something precious has been ripped, stolen from each one of us. And there were only two options left: fight or die.

Chapter 36: Oblivious

The scent of the dry earth beneath me seems to be stronger than before. All of my senses either came back to me or threatened to attack me, I feel both. Or maybe I'm finally dying; therefore, I'm feeling everything for one last time. I don't know with which one of these possibilities I'm more comfortable with.

"Are you…alive?" I heard a familiar voice saying these words but I didn't move. It's been such a long time since I moved an inch that I don't even recall it.

Something touched my arm and then gently pushed at it, so I'd roll over on my back. Opening my eyes, I looked at Ryuu's face and at the cat staring down at me with worry. Even the cat seemed to have a troubled expression if that's even possible.

His question finally sinks in so I replied in my mind with the ironic response: 'That's what I'm wondering myself.'

But no word left my lips; I was too focused on his eyes, trying to see what happened, trying to guess why he looks so tired, sad and afraid.

After many moments of him checking my pulse, feeling happy that I'm still alive and trying countless times to get me to speak, I finally stopped fixing my gaze on him to look at the cat itself. The cat that has been searching into my eyes just like I searched into Ryuu's eyes.

I suddenly realized that I wasn't feeling so sick anymore, that I wasn't wondering if now that I'm found, I should run or stay. Questions and decisions that haunted me for a long or a short amount of time, I couldn't tell yet. But those moments sure left invisible scars on me.

Nonetheless, in the eyes of a damned cat, I found peace.

I finally calmed down and I finally saw clearer, I finally found the strength I needed, all the strength that I still had within for at least the will to get up and speak. But I didn't. I was patient until the cat told me all that I needed to know. All that I needed to do.

As if my own wishes and my own thoughts rose up from deep within, they felt stronger and more reachable than ever. I had one goal set in mind, I had one feeling that I let to take full control of me, which is:

'Naruto. I need to rescue Naruto.'

A blind or a drunken man, that's what I've become in the hour I've walked through the forest with Ryuu and the cat behind me. No. We didn't walk, we marched. And behind this powerful thought, I knew something was wrong. This will that is my own and in the same time isn't. The determination, or yet the white page that my mind has transformed into, for I was yet to think about my actions.

And with every step that I took, I knew that something was wrong.

But I couldn't stop it for I was ordered by my own royal blood to walk, as it boiled in my veins and carried me as if in a carriage somewhere in the very forest.

A destination I didn't know about, and in my heart…I knew.

'I need to be oblivious to where I'm being taken.' I told myself.

But I wasn't.

There was a battle within me that struggled to fight back, for it knew the destination, it was what awakened my senses because I felt the ground colder, the wind whispering to me as if a spell was put on it and I was getting closer to it with every step and my body was only a tool where these battles were carried but it wasn't about me, no, it wasn't only about me.

There were so many souls involved, so many innocent lives at risk and so many who were responsible.

However, none of that could stop my legs from moving.

Not even Ryuu's scream when he spotted my red eyes but then continued to walk, ignoring and accepting them.

'We're all monsters, no one is normal here, we're all sinners, guilty for what we took and never gave back, so we must pay the consequences. Even if it's a red eye or a dead body, even if it's the blame that you couldn't save a loved one or the spirit to fight for good but being beaten down for too many times because you were always alone. We're all being punished and we know it and all of this, everything, only because…we can't forgive ourselves.'

One step, two steps and then three.

And I fell down.

On…snow.

…

"Oh, God." I exclaimed as I tried to get Naruto's King to his feet but he was stubbornly refusing to move and in the same time, he felt as heavy as a stone.

'Come on Ryuu, you can do it.' I encouraged myself as I finally moved him, helped him up and made a step.

Big mistake.

Something as lighting but much thinner erupted from his right and his left almost hit me but I also fell on my back, looking up at the strange lights that appeared from nowhere.

And then I stared down at the raven haired King which was on his knees.

Looking…destroyed.

'Something happened, I know it, and I feel it in my very core...'

But the show was over too quickly and I had to get going for the man got up on his feet in the next minute and started walking towards the castle of a man who has once been my King.

I won't lie. I hesitated for a second to go there but I had to.

Cloud has pretty much gone insane and I couldn't leave Naruto's King alone. I didn't have any other option.

Though I pitied myself in a way, not even once have I seriously considered stopping my legs from moving and going back. I continued to walk side by side with Naruto's King. As if I am his soldier. And in a way, I've become.

The thought was barely suggested by my inner self when I choose Naruto's King over the love of my life.

'Strange how things happen in life, huh…'

I already considered not writing my invitation to join into his army when the man barged into hell's castle.

'He's out of his mind.'

I blindly walked by his side and didn't realize that we were right in front of the castle until we actually got there and when he pushed the enormous doors from the entrance of it, right in front of my face, it was too late to even ask why.

I was oddly surprised and quite too unafraid when he walked all high and mighty through the dark corridors filed with the most evil people at every corner right into a certain room.

I was even more terrified when I spotted Naruto hanged by the wall along with the doctor by his side and Noah standing discouraged and with no emotion in his eyes in the middle of the room.

'This looks like…'

"Naruto…" I heard him whisper and in no minute, I faced the few soldiers of this castle at the door of this cellar, looking quite impressed or no, just angry.

"Release them." He screamed. At which, the soldiers just laughed.

I wanted to cry.

"Now!"

His voice was so different and so demanding that I would unchain them myself if I could.

The power in his voice was so strong that it was crawling underneath my skin as if making me to obey it.

I felt like his soldier in that moment.

No.

'This is the first time I feel like a soldier to someone with royal blood.'

It's true that my first 'King' had authority in his voice but it was fear that he wanted us all to feel when he ordered us.

But this person makes me feel like I want to do this, like I need to do this and not because I'm afraid of him but because he is somehow, in a way that's not humanly possible higher than me. And I don't feel like his pet. I feel like I'm nurtured, protected by his strong wing.

'And it seems…I'm not the only one.'

One of the soldiers stepped up from the crowd and went to the doctor with some keys in his hand.

And one would think that only this soldier is worthy of us, and no one else in the crowd. But no.

They may not be trying to release the two but they are standing like kids wondering who their parents are in the doorway. Massive men with black souls, guns in their hands and swords and knifes attached to their clothes. Men with no lights in their eyes, as if it's been an eternity since they last saw the sun.

The Doctor crumbled to the ground, in the arms of his King with tears that threatened to fall down from his eyes in any minute.

"Rafael, what happened? Rafael?"

A kind and caring voice replaced the other one.

"Oh, my King…it's too late. It's all been futile."

Rafael's voice was that of an old man, one filled with regrets and close to death.

"What do you mean? Why?"

"The dumb blond brat doesn't know who I am or who he is. He doesn't recognize anyone. He doesn't care to remember either. I don't know what happened to him but if what we tried to rescue has been an empty shell all along then…it's all been futile."

The King let the Doctor in my arms but both I and he watched the King as he approached Naruto, as he looked into his blue eyes.

I recognized the happiness on his features. The joy to see the man he's been given his life for and his Kingdom for. They all seemed worthless to him in the very moment.

But it all faded…in the next moment.

"Get out. I don't know you and I don't want to know you. I want to be alone."

Nothing. Nothing in Naruto's expression or voice was his anymore. It seemed like everything has been replaced with something that wanted solitude above all. Not being rescued or loved. Not even freedom was in his options. He just wanted to become one with the darkness in this room. Until his soul will leave the body.

"I am…" The King started, but was cut off.

"I don't care who you are."

"Naruto…"  
>"I don't know any Naruto! Stop calling me that and get out! All of you."<p>

He'd be screaming at least but he wasn't. Even the voice didn't have any tonality. As if he doesn't care if he's not left alone either.

The wind could be blowing right or left. He seemed content with both.

He has no wishes left or …memories.

Everybody stood. The soldiers in the doorway.

The Doctor in my arms on the ground.

Noah in the middle of it all, standing like a ghost.

And the King, in front of the empty shell of Naruto, hanging on the wall, yet not released more than a hand that remained hanged in the air as if the chains were still there.

Even the soldier that stood up from its crowd and released the Doctor was now troubled if he should continue or not.

As for the King…what he's feeling or doing…I can't tell.

Even if I'm looking at his face, at his eyes and at his entire body.

There's nothing more than pain in his eyes, in his red eyes.

"Dear little brother, I will never be able to tell you how much I've missed you."

Looking at my right, in my frozen state, I witnessed the man who has once been my King. But then, something in me broke as I spotted Cloud behind him. Looking like a dog, happy to be held in a leash by his master.

'Why…?'

The King didn't turn around. He was still looking at Naruto.

But the other 'King' continued to talk.

"I however think you realize that you're now on my propriety and that you're no King, just like you never were after all. Not to mention, take responsibility for the vow and the seal that you've broken by stepping on my land, little brother."

"I know."

The voice of the royal blood returned but more tamed, calm but I had no idea why.

"First, I will take back what's mine and then I'll return to my Kingdom."

"Yes, you will do that so we will both be prepared. Equally. Since the war has started the second you set foot on my snow."

'War?'

"Second, I will have your head as ball to the children of my Kingdom!"

He screamed and finally turned around. But the other 'King' continued to have a smile on his face.

"That, we'll see little brother. If your Kingdom will still have any kids left when I finish, then I will give them your head."

"Release Naruto already!" He ordered, to which the man with the keys started to remove Naruto's chains again.

"Stop." The other King said, calm.

The man was confused, petrified in place.

"I told you I'm taking what's mine!" The King screamed at his older brother.

"My, my, but Naruto is no longer yours. He's an important part of my army now." The 'King' spoke, with the same smile present and persistent in his voice.

"Your soldier?! Ha! He's been your prisoner, but my soldier!"

"No! You can take this one," he pointed at the Doctor "but you can't take Naruto! We had a deal; he suggested it and I accepted. Because he, "the 'King' pointed at me "is alive because Naruto said he will be my soldier if I release him. And Cloud came back to me since he doesn't think of you as his King at all, just like everybody knows you're not!"

The venom in his voice, he spit it with every word. And when he finished, the smile returned.

"Go home little brother, and prepare your people, tell them to pray hard because they will die very soon and they will also serve in hell since they served you!"

Words, just words but he turned around and left the room. Cloud remained.

"We take him too." Still in my arms, the Doctor said.

"We can't…" The King whispered and turned around to look at Naruto once again. But he has long closed his eyes as if ignoring us all, or just didn't care what was happening at all and just went to sleep.

"I will escort you outside."

Cloud's voice echoed in the crowded room right into my very being, or maybe, that happened just to me.

Because everything was pure madness and nothing less. As if the cruel reality and the most painful nightmare collided in one. No one seemed whole anymore, something precious has been ripped, stolen from each one of us. And there were only two options left: fight or die.

As if in a dream, we got up from the ground and behind our real King; we walked through the dark corridors, escorted indeed, by Cloud.

It pained me to watch him with such empty eyes, wanting nothing but to see us gone.

"What happened to you, Cloud?! I don't recognize you anymore! What did he do to you…?" I cried to him as only ten steps distanced me from the snow outside.

"He offered me what you've never been able to give me."

All the color drained from my face as the huge door closed in front of me.

We walked through the snow looking pathetic. Like beaten dogs returning home with their tails between their legs. I couldn't take the silence and still, I couldn't take another word being spoken.

But after all, there was nothing left to be said.

We've been defeated.

Each one of us.

…

"What next, brats?"

I asked, hoping to break the black block of ice that stagnated too long already. We were wondering in the woods already, but sadly, not the right forest. The ground was still covered with snow and the trees were either dead or pines.

The cat was gone.

And I was honestly worried that I was the only one that noticed that.

I stopped myself from bringing that up since it would only make things worse.

I was however prepared for an ironic answer or a 'pff' sound but nothing happened, nothing was said or done. We just randomly wandered through the endless tress.

'For real Rafael, what are you expecting? These are just spoiled young brats that now think that everything is over in their life and they're just thinking of the most quick and painless way to kill themselves. '

"Brats, stop walking."

'Completely ignored.' I told myself as I was the only one that stopped.

"Stop walking!" I screamed and all I got was them turning around to look at me with the same expression Naruto had.

'What do you want? Leave me alone.' They seem to be saying.

"Look, I know you're all down now but you must be wise and go on with your head up, we aren't dead…yet, we must fight and make the best of it, we have a Kingdom to save dammit!"

"Are you really listening to yourself, Rafael?" The brat King asked me.

"Of course I am brat!"  
>"No, you're not. Did you see or hear anything that just happened back there?"<br>"I've been there brat, I remember everything perfectly."

Naruto's eyes, your eyes, Noah's eyes, Ryuu's eyes and even my own; our voices and our pain, all of these things seemed almost touchable in that damned room.

"Yet you didn't understand a single thing! We're at war, Rafael! We risked everything for Naruto! Who's not even in his right mind anymore! You said it yourself, it's all been futile!"

His face was too close to mine, all that he is emanated anger and disappointment. And behind him, Ryuu and Noah looked at the ground, at the white immaculate yet cold snow.

"No. Brat, you're the one who didn't understand anything! It doesn't matter that Naruto isn't himself anymore; all that matters is that he's alive! And that now we must save both him and your damn Kingdom, that we must return immediately and make a plan to fight back and win this war! We mustn't lose! And then we'll get Naruto back, even if we have to rewrite his whole damn blond memory, we'll take him back the way I told you to take him back in the first place! Not sneaking in secret corridors, or bowing our heads to your brother but fighting because the truth you didn't want to see brat is that your brother wants what is yours, and he took what was most important to you, he took Naruto from your Kingdom! And we must take what's ours, back! That's what I understood."

…

"Wake up, Naruto." One of the soldiers threw a bucket with dirty water in my face once again only to make sure I'm alive and I wake up and opened my eyes without even wanting.

I heard them laughing as they left the room and took their burning torch with them.

The lone source of light, now, gone.

Left only in darkness and silence. I don't hear a thing or see anything.

But I continue to search and I invent bodies and faces with the shadows of the room.

My whole body hurts and soon, my eyes start to sting from forcing them in the darkness without even letting them rest for a second.

'Weird…I thought I heard or…saw…Sasuke. It must've been my imagination.'

To be continued…

**AN2: **Ta da for the 36-th time! I should be named the mother of suspense ) anyway, hope you all liked it though yeah, there are also some new questions but it's inevitable! It's cause and reaction, can't be helped but at least, they are new questions, not old.

So, as always, though sad no one feels like giving them…any suggestions or questions (that can be answered) are welcomed. Feel free to ramble, I love it.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my story.

Wish you all the best and see you all next Sunday.


	37. Chapter 37: Dirty talk

**AN1: **Easter miracle. That's what this chapter is. I am so tired I can barely see what I am typing but I know you'll forgive me… (Another Easter miracle, this time for me, I hope.) So, this chapter isn't as long as I would've wished but some things happen, things are about to happen, as always. But thank you for reading, hope you like it and oh, beg you, check out the new poll!

On with the reading:

**From the last (previous) chapter:**

_A destination I didn't know about, but in my heart…I knew._

_'I need to be oblivious to where I'm being taken.' I told myself._

_But I wasn't._

_There was a battle within me that struggled to fight back, for it knew the destination, it was what awakened my senses because I felt the ground colder, the wind whispering to me as if a spell was put on it and I was getting closer to it with every step and my body was only a tool where these battles were carried but it wasn't about me, no, it wasn't only about me._

_There were so many souls involved, so many innocent lives at risk and so many who were responsible._

_However, none of that could stop my legs from moving._

_Not even Ryuu's scream when he spotted my red eyes but then continued to walk, ignoring and accepting them._

_'We're all monsters, no one is normal here, we're all sinners, guilty for what we took and never gave back, so we must pay the consequences. Even if it's a red eye or a dead body, even if it's the blame that you couldn't save a loved one or the spirit to fight for good but being beaten down for too many times because you were always alone. We're all being punished and we know it and all of this, everything, only because…we can't forgive ourselves.'_

_One step, two steps and then three._

_And I fell down._

_On…snow._

…

_"No! You can take this one," he pointed at the Doctor "but you can't take Naruto! We had a deal; he suggested it and I accepted. Because he, "the 'King' pointed at me "is alive because Naruto said he will be my soldier if I release him. And Cloud came back to me since he doesn't think of you as his King at all, just like everybody knows you're not!"_

_The venom in his voice, he spit it with every word. And when he finished, the smile returned._

_"Go home little brother, and prepare your people, tell them to pray hard because they will die very soon and they will also serve in hell since they served you!"_

_Words, just words but he turned around and left the room. Cloud remained._

_"We take him too." Still in my arms, the Doctor said._

_"We can't…" The King whispered and turned around to look at Naruto once again. But he has long closed his eyes as if ignoring us all, or just didn't care what was happening at all and just went to sleep._

_"I will escort you outside."_

_Cloud's voice echoed in the crowded room right into my very being, or maybe, that happened just to me._

_Because everything was pure madness and nothing less. As if the cruel reality and the most painful nightmare collided in one. No one seemed whole anymore, something precious has been ripped, stolen from each one of us. And there were only two options left: fight or die._

_As if in a dream, we got up from the ground and behind our real King; we walked through the dark corridors, escorted indeed, by Cloud._

_It pained me to watch him with such empty eyes, wanting nothing but to see us gone._

_"What happened to you, Cloud?! I don't recognize you anymore! What did he do to you…?" I cried to him as only ten steps distanced me from the snow outside._

_"He offered me what you've never been able to give me."_

_All the color drained from my face as the huge door closed in front of me._

_We walked through the snow looking pathetic. Like beaten dogs returning home with their tails between their legs. I couldn't take the silence and still, I couldn't take another word being spoken._

_But after all, there was nothing left to be said._

_We've been defeated._

_Each one of us._

…

_"Look, I know you're all down now but you must be wise and go on with your head up, we aren't dead…yet, we must fight and make the best of it, we have a Kingdom to save dammit!"_

_"Are you really listening to yourself, Rafael?" The brat King asked me._

_"Of course I am brat!"  
>"No, you're not. Did you see or hear anything that just happened back there?"<br>"I've been there brat, I remember everything perfectly."_

_Naruto's eyes, your eyes, Noah's eyes, Ryuu's eyes and even my own; our voices and our pain, all of these things seemed almost touchable in that damned room._

_"Yet you didn't understand a single thing! We're at war, Rafael! We risked everything for Naruto! Who's not even in his right mind anymore! You said it yourself, it's all been futile!"_

_His face was too close to mine, all that he is emanated anger and disappointment. And behind him, Ryuu and Noah looked at the ground, at the white immaculate yet cold snow._

_"No. Brat, you're the one who didn't understand anything! It doesn't matter that Naruto isn't himself anymore; all that matters is that he's alive! And that now we must save both him and your damn Kingdom, that we must return immediately and make a plan to fight back and win this war! We mustn't lose! And then we'll get Naruto back, even if we have to rewrite his whole damn blond memory, we'll take him back the way I told you to take him back in the first place! Not sneaking in secret corridors, or bowing our heads to your brother but fighting because the truth you didn't want to see brat is that your brother wants what is yours, and he took what was most important to you, he took Naruto from your Kingdom! And we must take what's ours, back! That's what I understood."_

…

_The lone source of light, now, gone._

_Left only in darkness and silence. I don't hear a thing or see anything._

_But I continue to search and I invent bodies and faces with the shadows of the room._

_My whole body hurts and soon, my eyes start to sting from forcing them in the darkness without even letting them rest for a second._

_'Weird…I thought I heard or…saw…Sasuke. It must've been my imagination.'_

**The new (actual) chapter:**

The moment when everything is in your hands, weighting way too heavy on your shoulders, breaking your bones since you're the only one carrying it all. You can hold it in, that's what you continue to tell yourself since you refuse to let the frustration out even if you're struggling with rocks that aren't even yours, but truth be told, one can only hold on for so long.

Chapter 37: Dirty talk

Brats are brats for good reason right now.

That's what they must think. But all the brats are currently sulking as if the war hasn't started. Well, indeed, we're on the 'sunny' side of this island. Nonetheless, just when we arrived back with God knows what help since we didn't even saw the cat anymore, we were just…transported, and then I realized how much I've missed the sun, the sand and my house. But looking at it only made me realize what I and every person living here will lose.

'Who thought one would get attached to this damn island? Not to mention that one's obliged to live in it so you hate it to begin with.'

Anyway, but that was just me. Since the brats didn't even look up from the ground.

The whole Kingdom of the brat King asked about what happened and celebrated our return, though I realized only then that they don't even know about Cloud not returning, and most of them threw some suspicious glares at Noah and Ryuu but then they all probably convinced themselves we've been gone for so long because we rescued these two brats.

The army didn't see Noah, even if it will probably will be only a matter of time since we're at war and Noah needs to be seen by everybody but not because they have to know about the 'other world' which exists on this island, the one filled with dead people, souls or whatever brats. But that somehow, he survived and he's been gone for a long time but now he's fine and …alive. The only problem will be if somebody touches him or notices he's not breathing.

"Brat." I sigh as I once again knock on the door on the 'oh so mighty King' brat. Who, has apparently, instead of reaching maturity, grown younger and retard.

"Don't make me break the door." I threatened.

It's been a couple of days since we came and I've treated anybody that needed me quickly and safe. Though there were only some colds even though we're swimming in the rays of the sun, damn kids seem to be weaker than they used to since the first time I arrived in here. It's like they are cold though the wind doesn't even blow sometimes. Now, more than ever.

I tried to reject the thought and sadly, succeeded, since it was important but at that time I didn't realize.

For I had more important problems I needed to attend.

"Brat, I will shut it down." I threatened once again.

The soldiers had no idea that their training should be more intense than ever right now, that they should mentally and physicaly prepare for a war right now. Not to mention the citizens. They will freak out and it will be a disaster since they will probably find out in the last minute, right before an army of equipped and strong evil men will be knocking at our gates.

But their King has no such worries. He's in his room.

And though I've enjoyed lying to myself with the slight possibility of him making a plan in there, or preparing for it…the time expired. I've done all that I've could've to make sure no problems with the citizens needed to be taken care of, and then went straight down into the underground house where silence and dust bathes just like the sun outside.

'Though I must agree with the kids, it is way colder than usually or my body is still stuck at the low temperature of the winter side.'

"Brat, you know I'll…"

Shot.

The brat just shot through his own door, the bullet just barely missing me and almost hitting me.

"You shit." I said it straight, without any intonation, just the lone realisation how my efforts, my worry aren't deserved, aren't supposed to exist when the said person would be capable of killing me only because the person wants to drown in its own misery.

So I part my lips, ready to say something but that something doesn't come out since I think it's smarter to just keep my mouth shut and get out.

'That will hurt him harder than any other word.'

The only problem is that this isn't about him or about me; this is about the too many people who will die because he's now, not a brat, but a damn lousy useless baby.

'I need to take care of this myself.'

I sigh as I go up the stairs and I don't look back even when I hear something falling to the floor, probably the gun he was holding. And I also childishly slam the exit door so that he knows I am gone, so that he feels guilty.

'Just as I feel.'

…

'I don't deserve to live.' I think to myself as I stare in the mirror while the water's running in the sink below.

I close my eyes, I open them back, I blink once again and then I grab my red hair, harshly.

"Ryuu, get out you brat! Don't act like the damn brat King who's not even a King, but a baby!"

I hear Rafael's tenth exasperated sentence of trying to get me out Sisay's house and also his knocking on the door, never stopping his knocking, but I don't make a sound and though I am fully conscious of the fact that he's well aware that I am in this house, I still remain quiet except for the water running in the sink and maybe the sound of my tears hitting the white texture of the sink. A sound I am sure he can't hear, I can't hear it either and I am the one crying like a fool.

Why all of this?

Well, let's just say I started hating myself the moment I got back. No, maybe, just maybe…since the second I found myself alone in this house filled with too many memories that were created in such a short amount of time but my dreams didn't help either.

So I let my hand touch the hard and cold structure of the scissor.

"Come on, Ryuu! Don't turn into a baby too!"

I pick it up and I pull at my red hair as it hits me the same time another tear finally meets the sink.

*'"_You know you can't live without me, you know you love me Ryuu…"  
>I feel his hand slowly lifting my blouse only to reveal a flat stomach and then I feel his soft lips kissing it, bit by bit, I shifted on the white surface of the bed.<em>'*

"Dammit Ryuu!"

I cut.

*' _His tongue slowly works its way up my nipples and his hand roughly grabs my hard erection._

"_Nobody knows what you like better than me; nobody can love you like I do, Ryuu." He tells me as one hand starts to rub my pants and the other pulls at my nipple, while he rises his head up and stares at me, smiling, so sure of the power he has over me and I can't fight it or find a reason to say: No, you're not right." '*_

"Shh…" I whisper to myself as if calming the baby Rafael's talking about, as the tears overflow and blurry my view as the red hair falls from the top of my head into the sink or on its edge.

And I lose all strength as I support myself by the edge of the sink, my own hair tickling the palm of my hand and as I look down with tears in my eyes, but seeing, I distantly watch the red shiny hair flowing above the clear and clean water that gathered in the sink.

*' "_You want me to fuck you, Ryuu?"_ _He whispers in my ear as he slowly bites it and then licks it and I helplessly moan. My pants are long gone and so is my blouse. His big hard on is waiting against my hole, and I can't do anything but moan and try to push it in by pushing myself against it, but he doesn't let me because he just wants me to talk dirty, mostly, ordering me to do it._

"_Please…" I say for he teased me so much and so well that I just can't take it anymore._

"_Please what, Ryuu?"_

"_Please, Cloud…"'*_

"Cloud, please…" I cry as I slip onto the floor from the wall that's on the right of the sink, with the scissors in my hand, letting it stay on the bathroom floor as the tears continue to flow along with the water. I embrace my knees and I just try to release all the stress and the pain but it's just not enough.

My heart misses him 'cause I've never stood more than two minutes without him since I was a child, he's all that I've got. And the dreams I kept having aren't but a sign that something bad has happened to him, all the dreams. Even if it's us walking in the park we used to go way too often because it was very beautiful and quiet, far away from the noisy world. Or if it's us in the bed making love or in the kitchen making breakfast.

At first, there were just memories of us doing the normal stuff and then the sexual dreams increased, the memories became fantasies and I would wake up with an erection that I paid no mind because the pain and the tears were stronger than any of that. I would sleep day and night, barely eating or getting any rest after all.

My body would tremble and I would be covered in cold sweat. And I'd only fall asleep when the sun would rise. As if its warmth would make it all go away or at least, bearable enough to let the exhaustion take me.

I won't lie though, I tried touching myself but that only made it lonelier. I wanted his hands touching me, I wanted to hear his voice, and I just wanted him to be safe. But I had none of that, not even the certainty that the 'King' didn't kill him after we left.

*' "_You like it?" He asks as he slams into me with brute force, I feel ripped in two and I certainly enjoy it too much. The orgasm reached its limit and then it starts the nightmare. I start crying, I start pushing and hugging in the same time. And he continues to ask me what's wrong even when I try mumbling at least a broken: nothing. _

_And then he says: "I am right here, Ryuu. Right beside you, so stop crying. I am with you; I am yours and only yours."'*_

It would all fade to black, for I'd open my eyes in reality. Finding myself in the exactly the same situation, missing one little detail.

I'd be crying, sometimes even having the orgasm I had in the dream with lots of evidence but I'd look up, at my right, at my left and even around the room, all the while crying.

For I always fall for it. I want him to be with me so bad that the dream feels too real. So far that I always believe him, I believe that's he's right next to me, but he…isn't.

'He never is.'

"Ryuu, I'm going to gather the army, I will make a move even without the baby King, so if you ever get out, you know where you'll find me…brat." And then he left.

The water filled the whole sink and it's overflowing but I don't care. I just stay there embracing myself and let the tears get out, as the water slips from the sink along with my hair.

Cutting my hair was supposed to be symbolic. The end of these dreams, giving it in return for peace. My mother believed you always have to give something in return to the universe in order for you to receive something but I knew it wasn't enough. Nothing I could offer, even if it's my hand or leg, would be enough for me to get rid of them since…those dreams were the only moments of happiness I had left.

'My offer for peace is a lie.' There's no way to be accepted and even if it was, I would be more desperate than before.

Those dreams when I could see his face hear his voice and feel him.

'As if…he's really with me. '

…

"I gathered you all here to let you know what's been going on with your King. No, with the whole Kingdom. You don't know it since your King is trying to protect you all since he knows you have wives at home, children and basically, a life. Therefore, you will tell them what I am about to tell you next but I want you all to swear before I tell you what you all need to now."

They nodded though they didn't enjoy it one bit, these are the big brats.

"Swear, dammit." I kind of ordered and this didn't go unnoticed, one of them raised an eyebrow but I ignored it.

'I know I am not your King, brats, but that baby is still in his room and we need a plan, preparation, weapons and we've no time for that baby. Not to mention that he never even had the intention of letting anybody know about it.'

"We swear." They all said in unison, as if they rehearsed.

So I let out a heavy sigh and then parted my lips, words that had too much meaning coming out, faces filled with doubt and yet worry hit me like a bullet.

'These were supposed to be soldiers, fighting for their country, yet they think only about themselves. The dog is like the master. The soldier just like its King, I guess…'

"Basically, we're currently…waiting to be attacked by 'his' army so, suggestions?"

Of course I let out a lot of it. Like how we got there, lost their King because of his red eyes, or how Noah helped me or about the unusual cat and not to mention, the unseen world, heaven or hell, both combined, or whatever that was.

'They only need to know we must move quickly before we're attacked, and that they must be prepared for anything.'

"Well, brats?"

No words were spoken; instead, silence took place of any other sound they made before. Even I was stunned of how surprised they were.

'I take it back baby King, you were right, they can't take such news. Just like you, they want to curl up in their bed, lock up their room and wish to die.'

"So, we're in war?" One of them finally asked and I only nodded in response.

"Why are you telling this instead of our King?" Another asked.

"I just told you! He's in his room being the baby he always was. He almost shot me when I wanted to get him out." I informed them once again, the said person who asked nodded absently, not being satisfied at all. None of them were after all.

"Do you have a plan?" Another asked and I raised an eyebrow before I talked:  
>"Do you think I'd be requesting suggestions if I already had a plan?!"<p>

"So how do you suggest we do, basically, anything?! Even worse, without our King?! This just isn't right." One of them complained.

"Why are you bitches whining at me?!" I lost it. "Do you think I do not know you are obsessed with your so dear baby King? That we need him to lead and maybe have a wise idea too?! The problem is that your King doesn't care about it, your King is too preoccupied with himself right now, because our King is a coward!"

The moment when everything is in your hands, weighting way too heavy on your shoulders, breaking your bones since you're the only one carrying it all. You can hold it in, that's what you continue to tell yourself since you refuse to let the frustration out even if you're struggling with rocks that aren't even yours, but truth be told, one can only hold on for so long.

Therefore, you need help and universe has its ways, always did.

"I have a plan." I looked behind me at the voice that talked, as all of the soldiers opened their mouths, dumbfounded, gasping for air.

…

"He left." I talked to myself, to the silence of the room, or maybe just realized the fact that Rafael has given up on me.

Maybe shooting in the door when he was standing in front of it was really a bad move.

'I know what he wants me to do…Act grown up, responsible and even worse, act like the King I am supposed to be. But being a King has never been easy. I'm never given the time to cry over my losses, my hazards and my lost wars!

Therefore, I am like a child, like the brat he says I am by staying here, in my bed, with the light turned off, while trying to chase away the memory of Naruto's eyes and Itachi's eyes.

But even when I try to be useful, I can't come up with any plan to get us out of this. And when I find the strength to get up, something keeps me in place.

'We're clearly outnumbered. Even if his soldiers aren't good in quality, there is their quantity that's terrifying. Mine are good in quality but horrible in quantity. Therefore, I can't do it like Rafael wants me to. I can't be clean about it and fight without dirty tricks, we will clearly lose, why didn't he realize that already?'

"I need to fight back. I need to win this war somehow and I need to get Naruto back." I talk to the darkness once again but I suddenly realize that something listens, as I spot two pair of eyes shining through the dense nothingness.

…

"All men prepared?" I ask one of my many soldiers and he bows further into the floor while telling me that the answer is affirmative.

"Only a short amount of time and all of them will be ready to go, but still…we can't attack." His voice is lower at the end of his sentence.

"Perfect, then, what's stopping us from attacking?" I ask him, my voice echoing against the walls of the throne room.

"Because, my 'King'…there's one tiny yet important detail that needs to be discussed…"

"Say it already." I rush him since I can't waste any time.

'I need to see my brother defeated, his people mine, his whole Kingdom mine and even his blond will submit to me, finally.'

I think to myself for it's been a long time since I've been this enthusiastic. All of my hard work, finally paying off.

"There's this one man…"  
>"The problem…is only…one man! Kill him and then attack!" I scream and he dares talking after me.<br>"But…"

"Kill him or I will kill you!"

"Yes, my 'King'."

To be continued…

**AN2: **Not the biggest chapter once again but the Easter got me exhausted, I am dead tired and it's 3 AM and I need to wake up at 7 and last night didn't sleep at all…well, I know you don't care but if you spotted any mistake, I am sorry but I can barely see the screen, tell me where it is, I will fix it.

Many question appeared, few of them answered, though this is like a 'between actions' chapter as you can probably tell.

However, please (beg you) check out my new poll, I want your honest opinion, I am kind of worried…

Happy Easter for the ones who celebrated it and thank you very much for reading. Wish you all the best. See you next Sunday.


	38. One final chapter

Well, hello. Wait, don't murder me. I know it's been like some…months? And there are probably only 10 readers left who still check this story for updates and that are still doing that only to find out where I am so they can kill me…I know apologizing won't do so I came up with an idea.

The thing is, I actually tried in this entire time to write (I know you don't believe me but well…) and as you can probably tell. It didn't work. However, like I said, I came up with this idea of one final huge chapter.

So here I am, asking the ones that still care or are just plain curious if they want to read one final chapter with all the answers they want and the end of the story of course. It will be huge, probably take more than 3 hours to read and me, an eternity to write but at least, everybody knows what I wanted for it to happen. Then I can move on to another story which won't be stuck like this one. Yeah, I don't even know what happened to it so, don't ask, I have no answer, it just…doesn't work for some unknown reason.

So, without further explanations, I am sorry but this is how I plan to make up for you guys. I am waiting for opinions, in whatever form you want so Review, Private message me or vote my pool. I will read anything you want to say even if you say you hate me I will read it and feel bad so, let me know because I will totally take in consideration anything you want to say to me. And if you have an opinion on what's gonna happen, or what you want to happen, let me know, I will take it in consideration. Suggestions, questions? Wanting a preview on everything that happened until now so you get like the full story in some way, let me know.

Anything and everything, I am here for you. Thank you.


	39. Hm

God, you guys are dead or just not caring. Either way I waited a lot and not even one answer... I am quite sad about it. I wanted to at least write for those who still checked the story or for those that reviewed in the past and that I love but it's like I am talking to nobody. I honestly don't know if you guys want anything from me at all...

Just...give me a sign. Thank you.


End file.
